Chapter 5
Chapter five
Ialmost pull a Dukes of Hazard by taking a running slide across the car’s hood; solely to get in the driver seat quicker but I’m maintaining what fraction of composure I have.
I can’t help it. There’s a new sort of energy rolling through me like a tsunami, crashing with waves so immense they’re obliterating that vast majority of my common sense.
Giddy over the girl of my dreams sitting in my car, fastening her seat belt like we’ve done this a million times.
We will…a million and one if that’s what it takes.
Folding into my seat, the door latches securely after me; auto-engaging with a dull snap—a mod I made for my dumbass friends.
If the worst happens, if I roll this bitch with them in here, the last thing I have to be concerned about is a door popping open and one of them being ejected.
Wes says it’s morbid to think that way, Zap has my back though.
He knows, even in the thick of it, it’s safer for all of us to remain locked inside than hitting the unforgiving ground at a hundred-something miles an hour.
Nadia’s in my peripherals, familiarizing herself with the inside.
Her inquisitive gaze snaps from one feature to the next: dash, center console, gear shift, then she catches the additional gauges attached to my side of the cab.
My lips part ready to explain, share a bit more of my favorite distraction, but she turns away.
She looks unsure of herself, those pretty brows pinching together as her hands drop to the harness-belt, nearly white knuckling the black polyester as if it’s a lifeline.
She must catch me looking since she moves them to the door instead of the restraint, gripping it just as hard as she was clinging to the belt.
Is she scared? Does she think I’ll put her in harm’s way?
Okay, I might, but I’ll keep her safe. I know what I’m doing.
I’ve been behind the wheel for years now, hell pit maneuvers are my thing.
I’ve been practicing them on and off a controlled track since I left for school.
Not that I’d ever perform one without her knowledge first—and the chance to get out and watch from a safer position.
I never want to make her uncomfortable with the things I do on the road.
Truthfully, hope boils low in my gut that she will love this—riding with me—as much as I love her being here.
I mean, this used to be a bonding moment for us, surely that hasn’t changed between then and now.
She’d curl up under the hood and on the frame of my old car, shoes pressed against the grimy coated motor and watch as I broke things apart.
I remember the hundreds of questions she used to ask.
Sometimes I think she would do it to keep the conversation going, especially on the days where her dad was being a dick— when the silence was pulling her apart.
Then other times, I wholeheartedly believe it’s genuine curiosity.
That, or she just loved looking at me covered in grease; yeah, we’ll go with that one.
Fuck me, I want those moments back.
I’m going to take her on one hell of a ride tonight, drive her right down memory-fucking-lane.
Late nights, long rides, and relief. I could tell her right now, let her know all the shit that’s been swimming in my head for years but how the hell do I even begin explaining it?
Giving purpose and story to my words is a bit easier said than done.
I’ve always been better with my hands. Winning Nadia over with some Shakespearean type shit just isn’t me, isn’t us.
Either way, she will go through a thousand emotions and sensations before the night is through—promise.
Hang in there, Diabolica. Tonight’s going to be one to remember.
Stabbing the key into the ignition, I flick the power relay switch with a snappy-click then jab the starter with my roughened fingertip.
Turning the key the Civic purrs to life and seals away all of my worries and doubts.
Unsure if she notices, but I practically melt into the leather of my seat.
Every muscle relaxes under the pull of gravity and the anticipation of being in her presence.
Finally…finally I’m sharing this with Nadia.
Gifting the pieces of myself life stole from her, ones that have felt deprived and starved for longer than I care to admit.
Snagging the stereo dial, the music climbs louder as I twist it to the right, helping drown out the remaining silence tickling the space with electricity.
She came here to visit with her friends and I’m practically kidnapping her—finders keepers, fuckers.
At minimum I want to make sure she’s comfortable, especially with how tense she looked when she first latched her seatbelt.
I’m the better company anyway.
Time to get lost, in her, in the road, in anything except responsibilities and wishful thinking.
Away from people who use her because they’re too fucking scared to take care of their own shit and need someone else to fight their battles for them.
Anywhere but this field with fake friends, jocks that peaked in high school, and the promise of bad decisions.
Back in drive, we creep across the uneven ground, dips and bumps making our departure awkward compared to the lifted trucks and SUV’s parked nearby.
Fine blades of grass brush along the underside of my car, cleaning away the debris and buffing out of the blemishes, if not there then definitely the backside of my wheels.
I don’t typically like keeping my vehicle this low to the ground but when you’re racing, aerodynamics are important.
Nadia’s friends watch as we crawl by them, snagging glances from a few others, and the grins from my boys. They may lack emotional intelligence but they hope I get everything I’ve yearned for since starting school, and then some.
When the rubber meets the road, all four tires ease into more solid ground, I open her up.
Pressing on the accelerator until the needle on my gages jump high and RPM’s rocket halfway to the red.
Pressing the clutch, my hand grabbing the gear shift, I shift her into second and repeat the motions—launching Nadia back in her seat with every burst of horsepower.
Hearing her breath catch has me fighting a smirk as my hands move easily with the twisting and turning steering wheel. Letting the car practically drive itself while the tires grip the black top—sticky from today’s travels.
“How has college been?” She asks, silver eyes focused on the windshield. The words rushed, almost tripped over at the end.
What do I say? That it’s a placeholder for the life I really want to have?
That I fall asleep with a book on my chest in my dorm instead of her?
Or how my classes blend together and I don’t remember what I’m doing until the professor re-explains the homework and I just happen to finish it in class?
There is so much, but also so little, going on with school.
“Meh, not bad. Keeping my grades up isn’t that hard. I work most of the time so I’ve stayed out of the spotlight. The guys though? Different story. Logan already has a kid and Wes just got out of county.”
Clenching the gearshift, I filter through the second-nature movements and push the RPM’s higher.
Logan keeps his kid under wraps, not because he’s ashamed, but his relationship is rocky and it hurts him half the time.
She’s vindictive and he loves her—I can’t fault him for that.
He’s trying though, to let her go and move on, poor fucker has his eyes set on the wrong rebound and he knows it.
I’ve warned him and if he doesn’t want to hear it, then that’s on him; I’m too wrapped around this tornado’s finger to keep leading that horse to water.
While I don’t speak about his dealings, or Wes’s, Nadia is safe, I know I can talk to her about anything even the bad shit when it goes down.
“That doesn’t sound terrible. Say, if you could give me any advice when it comes to school, or getting out of Hazelwood, what would it be?” She huffs through the pressure on her body from the harness; looking at me now instead of the scenery as it whips by.
Now we’re talking. Run away with me, that’s all you have to do. We won’t have anything but each other at first but I promise I’ll make sure you’re happy.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t waste your time with school until you know what you want to do. There are so many different avenues and jobs out there that don’t require a college degree, and they pay just as much, if not more, than those do.”
She snaps at me, in her charming way. “Ahhh, that’s helpful, I guess. Not really.”
Chuckling at half mast, I shrug. I don’t want to talk about school.
I understand that’s her focus but damn, she just graduated.
Take a night off, workhorse. Relaxed, my body twists a fraction to the side.
Left hand resting on the steering wheel where I could see more of her and she could look at me all she pleases. She always did stare.
“Always such a curt smartass, Nadi. The things I could do to that mouth of yours now that you’re a big girl.”
Devilish joy fills me when her face reddens. She surprises me, responding that way. We’ve been too close for too long for her to be bashful or shy. While I may not be a capitalist like Wes, I’m going to take a very small page out of his book and have that same look on her beautiful face all night.
“Thank you, though. For telling…sharing. I don’t have the patience to waste my time so I’ll have to keep your words of wisdom in mind.”
“See that you do. College is unnecessarily expensive. Especially when you can do something else. Something good.”