43. CARLOS
CARLOS
S imon’s fingers tentatively graze my jaw, he’s nervous, maybe even scared.
I connect my mouth to his, soft at first before the tension snaps.
I’m an impatient man. Everything turns messy and thirsty.
Mouths open, breathing each other in. It isn’t sweet.
It’s raw and real, lips crashing, teeth grazing, hands pulling close, anguish like we had been waiting too long to remember what it felt like to be wanted.
I tangle my hand in his hair, our bodies flush and burning with the heat we ignite in one another. A low sound of pleasure escapes between us, moaning in need, lost to the taste, the touch, to the ache of finally.
This kiss says I missed you and I need you. We pull apart, remaining close as our foreheads touch, the pause between kisses more intimate than the act itself. We are two men without any defenses. Allowing the other to see each other in reality. Allowing the connection to beam in the open.
He rolls me onto my back, laying on top of me, and my natural reaction is to stroke his back. That's when it ends. The connection severs as he tries to pull away. His back is hard ridges and scarring.
“Simon, don’t,” I say.
His breathing spikes and not from desire, it's from panic. His eyes are unfocused as he tries to pull away, but I won’t allow this to consume him and destroy us.
“Simon, take control. You got this,” I say in a commanding voice. Softness won’t work for us, he needs firmness.
“I can’t,” he pants.
I grab his throat and gently slap his face, forcing him to focus on me. His body weight becomes heavier as he struggles to hold himself up.
“Choke me,” I say.
That brings him back.
“What?”
“Do it. Choke me, hit me. Be the boss.”
His nostrils flare, the haunted look now replaced with a look of want. Frenzied and feral. But he doesn’t move, so I lean up and whisper words to him that have him completely ruin me.
“Hurt me while you fuck me, little lion. You have the stripes now.”
Next thing I know, we are going at one hundred miles an hour, kissing and touching. Underwear torn off, lube at the side, ready. Simon is on a mission and I’m ready to be the reward. I love how wild he is right now.
Simon slaps me across the face hard, before gripping my neck and kissing me like I’m the medicine for his cure.
My throat hurts, it’s hard to breathe, but I love it.
But before this goes any further, I think my fireball needs a safeword, as I sense he is about to lose control. When I manage to pull away.
“If I tap your arm three times, you need to stop. Just in case you get too carried away by my purple face.”
“Good idea. I watched the video of what you did,” he says, which throws me with the conversation change.
“What did you think?”
“I jerked off watching you. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Nice. If you’re lucky, maybe you can get a live show whenever someone crosses me again.”
“Deal.”
I did not see that coming, that Simon would enjoy watching me hurt another person. This guy holds my interest for a reason, and I’ll never be bored around him.
Simon kisses down my body and sucks on my nipples. Hard.
“Fuck yes,” I hiss, enjoying him running the show.
He wanders slowly down my chest, nipping, licking and biting.
Leaving marks on me, marking me as his. Then, like he did on the plane, he eats my cock like he has been craving it forever.
Saliva coats my dick and drips down to my balls.
He bobs up and down in a fast and manic pace.
I push my head back into the pillow while gripping his hair, letting his mouth lead me to the wonderland of orgasms. While I’m lost in this euphoria, a hand grabs my balls and pulls hard.
My legs tense up at the sensation, causing me to writhe in fucking bliss.
“Simon, I’m gonna blow if you keep going,” I say, and he immediately pulls away. He sits upright and straddles me, looking like a fucking vision with his hard dick eager for attention.
“Where are the nipple clamps?” he asks, surprising me again.
“In the drawer,” I say, gesturing with my head. He leans over and opens the drawer while I can’t resist rubbing my hands up and down his strong thighs. He opens the box and removes the clamps, holding them out to me.
“Put them on me,” he asks.
I grin as he puts them in my hands, and I do as I’m told, attaching them to his hard brown nubs that have goosebumps forming around them as each clamp is attached. He crushes his thighs into me as he composes himself.
‘Why do I like these so much?” he says, head tilted back and lost to the sensation.
“You’re like me. You love the bite. The sting. Mixture of pain and pleasure.”
“Hmm,” he moans in response before getting off me, and repositioning us. He settles in between my legs and coats his fingers in lube. I open my legs wider for him. It’s been a very long time since I bottomed and I don’t do it just for anyone.
“Fuck, Carlos, your hole is so tight,” he praises as his finger slides into me.
It’s uncomfortable at first, but as I push down on his finger, the enjoyment multiplies.
I grind onto his thick digit, encouraging him to find my happy spot.
Two fingers are now up my ass and he finds what he’s looking for as I mewl in delight.
“I can’t wait, Carlos. You feel too good,” he says, excitement taking over all his thoughts.
“Then do it.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice before he pushes my legs back and I hold them in place with my hands behind my knees.
The urge to fuck takes him over as he lines up that beautiful girthy dick and pushes inside me.
It stretches and burns. I feel so full. His hand finds its way back to my throat and holds on tight before he gives me another slap to the face.
Simon fucks me like a beast, there is no gentleness, just urgency. I can see the old Simon return as he takes my body, owns it. He’s greedy with it and I want more. I drop one leg and use my free hand to pull on one of his nipple clamps.
“Ahhh! Yes, do it again,” he begs, and I do it again to the other nipple.
He growls as he picks up speed, my throat is sore from his relentless hold on me.
While he is occupied with fucking me into oblivion, I take the opportunity again to touch his back, and this time he doesn’t pull away.
I splay my fingers across the partially healed welts, and gently stroke them.
“I’m close,” he pants, before removing his hand from my throat and grabbing my dick, clutching it like a vice as he tugs hard, forcing an almighty orgasm to be ripped from my body.
“Fucckk,” I groan, long and deep just as Simon’s cum fills my ass. Just as my release ends, I find the strength to grab onto one of the clamps on his swollen nipples, and pull it off. Hard.
“Oh shit,” he yells, hips stuttering as he allows what appears to be an earth shattering orgasm to consume his whole body.
Collapsed on top of me, we remain quiet, regaining our strength to move and speak again. Our sweaty bodies cling to one another, our cum mixes together, coating our exhausted limbs. We’re one big sticky mess.
“Thank you,” he whispers into my ear as his head snuggles into my sweaty shoulder.
“For what?”
“This. It helped. I err, I liked it when you touched my back.”
“Good. Maybe I should change your name to tiger from lion.”
“I never thought to look at it like that. Tiger stripes.”
“You see, we’ve managed to fuck our way to finding a positive.”
“I hope so. Is it still okay for me to stay?” he says as he pulls back and watches me. I’m sure Simon thinks I will pull away, or change my mind. The very idea is ridiculous.
“Simon, I'm not letting you leave. You’re all mine now and I will show you off. No more hiding. About anything.”
“You’re a bossy prick, Carlos. But, I’m not sure about the open thing,” he starts to babble.
“Simon. You have no choice now. We’re going to be who we are and live. I’m not hiding you and you are not hiding me. We walk through it together. Trust me. I’m not ever letting you go, no abandonment or betrayal. It’s time for you to be free.”
“They are never gonna let me hear the end of it, are they? Dima said that he thinks they already know.”
“They do. You’re too obvious with how smitten you are with me.”
He pins me with a look of disbelief.
“Carlos, shut the fuck up.”
Which I do, and he falls asleep in my arms.
And not one nightmare appeared.
Two days later and I’m still at Carlos’ apartment, and I think he was serious about me never leaving. We will have to see about that, although it’s tempting.
This place has become a safe haven for me the past two days.
I’ve been able to talk openly about how I feel, which has never happened in my life.
Carlos may be animalistic in his methods, maybe even sadistic, but the way he let me do what I wanted to him, let me be the one who fucked him, shifted something inside me.
My perspective of control has shifted, understanding that it can be positive if used in the right way.
I had no control over what happened to me all those years ago with my parents and foster care, like with Carlos’ family.
But like back then, I took control of the negative and turned to a crew who, even though they were dealers, had loyalty.
That then turned into having a family when I joined the brothers.
Violence without morals is what we live by, protecting our own interests and fucking up whoever tries to get one over on us.
That was my control. But with Carlos’ family I wasn’t prepared for it to happen when I thought I was secure.
Just like Noah said, I gotta kill the demons before they kill me, and Carlos did that for me.