43. CARLOS #2
I’ve just gotten out of the shower, and for the first time, I attempt to take a look at my back from the side in the mirror, as best as I can.
Three days ago I never intended to look.
Ashamed of them, because to me it was a sign of weakness, of everything Mr. Morgan drilled into me about gay boys not being men.
That was all I could think of. But now, Carlos is right.
They are my tiger stripes. Stripes of honor that I survived brutality and it didn’t break me.
I’m not one hundred percent there yet, but I needed that shift.
Carlos won’t allow me to fade away and I need that.
Someone to tell me that they won’t allow me to disappear. It needed to be him.
“Are you ready?” Carlos shouts from outside the bedroom.
Shit. I’ve been too busy day dreaming and not getting ready.
We are going to have a meeting with Dima and Lev.
Carlos arranged it yesterday and I’m internally freaking out.
Carlos has had a long talk with me about what happened after I left Brazil, and he has a proposal for the brothers.
Then if that's a success, he wants us to basically be out in the open to the guys.
The houses that Tyler was responsible for designing for the guards at the mansion are now finished, so everyone will be there to look.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
I open the door and Carlos looks delicious.
Deep red shirt, partly open, of course. Black pants, gold necklace and a long black woolen coat.
I swear he looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine.
Whereas I look like I belong on a poster for a missing rock singer.
We are so opposite in how we dress it's almost comical, but it just fits.
“Simon, we need to leave in five minutes, otherwise you can go in your robe,” he says like he’s my parent.
“Yes, sir,” I say sarcastically.
He steps forward and grabs my jaw in his hand.
“Are you trying to sass at me?”
I lean forward and suck on his lower lip before letting it go.
“Always. Gotta keep your arrogant ass on your toes.”
“Get ready before I bend you over and smack the shit out of that ass, Simon,” he says before walking away with an impressive hard on, from what I could see from the bulge in his pants. Looking down, underneath my towel I’m in the same condition.
Forty minutes later we are at the Kozlov mansion, and sitting in Dima’s office. Dima is sitting behind his desk and Lev is standing off to the side behind him, leaning against the wall. I’m sitting next to Carlos in the two leather chairs across from Dima, trying as hard as I can not to fidget.
“How was your two day vacation?” Dima asks.
“I feel a lot better. Listen, Dima, I’m sorry about what happened at the club,” I start to say, but Dima raises his hand to stop me.
“”It’s all good. Let’s just leave that in the past like it never happened.”
I nod, thankful that it will be forgotten, never mentioned again.
“So what is this meeting about? Are you leaving us to set up with Carlos?” Lev asks.
“It was me that wanted the meeting,” Carlos interrupts. “I have a proposal for you both.”
“I’m intrigued. What’s the proposal?” Dima asks.
“I’ve come into a huge sum of inheritance. I won’t explain how or why. But I was thinking of what to do with the money, and I remembered how well we all work together and the countless times we’ve helped each other out.”
“You mean us helping you out,” Lev says.
“Lev, shut up,” Dima scolds before Carlos continues.
“How would you feel about becoming partners? Combine both businesses. Fifty-fifty. I will put in a large sum of the money I have that will boost both sides and enable us to expand. Bring the distribution and selling under one umbrella.”
Lev crosses his arms, and looks between me and Carlos with a look of shock and curiosity. Dima sits back in his chair and taps his fingers on the desk and watches Carlos. Deliberating. Looking for hidden traps.
“And what does Simon have to do with this?” Dima asks.
“He’s here because he is my partner. Boyfriend. Whatever you want to call it, he will be living with me from now on.”
That makes my ears perk up.
“Wait, what? Simon is not living with you,” I say.
“Not the time, Simon,” Carlos says, and I want to slap the bastard.
“This is the fucking time. I don’t remember you asking me to move in.”
“I told you you weren’t leaving. I couldn’t have been any clearer.”
“He’s right, Simon,” Lev says, and I look at him with my mouth wide open.
“Right about what?”
“If he already told you that you weren’t leaving, then that’s it. Why is that so hard to understand?” Lev says.
“I was the same with Seb. It’s natural, Simon. You’re where you belong,” says Dima.
“Hold on, why are you okay with this? It feels like you’re sending me away,” I say, shocked at their indifference on this.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Simon. When you know, you know. And Carlos knew you were his. I think there is something wrong with you, because our guys never had an issue,” Lev says.
“That’s not what I remember. Didn’t Dima kidnap Seb until he gave in?” I snark.
“That was different. He was a normal person that didn’t understand this world. He’s happy now. You should know this, Si. This is all you’ve ever known.”
I can’t believe this right now. Am I in an alternate universe? I turn my head to look at Carlos who is grinning like a cat that got the cream. That fucking controlling prick. All of them are controlling motherfuckers.
“Anyway, back to the proposal. Why?” Dima says, changing the subject that I’m still focused on. I’m not a piece of meat.
“I was looking at expanding anyway before the whole Brazil thing. I got to thinking after I received the money that I wanted to invest and I thought, who do I trust and who do I work well with, and thought of you guys. I can put a huge investment in, and I’m sure we can expand outside into other states.
I think we would mesh well and become disgustingly richer than we are now. ”
“Huh,” is all the response we get from Lev.
“Look, I’ve had numbers drawn up and will get them emailed to you. Think about it and let me know. There’s nothing to lose in just considering it.”
“Okay, we can do that,” Dima says. We all stand and Carlos shakes their hands, but not before dickface wants to make another announcement. I might as well not be here.
“Another thing, now that me and Simon are official, we plan to be open to the guys and everyone else.”
“It’s hardly a big coming out, they already know, Si,” Lev says.
“How long have you suspected, as I only told Dima?” I ask.
“Since you arrived. I have a knack for sniffing out cock lovers. Not sure how the others know, but probably because you never shut your mouth about this guy. It was fucking obvious,” Lev says with a deep chuckle.
“This is still hard for me,” I say.
“We know, ignore him. It’ll all be fine, Simon. Nobody is going to take you away or leave. Everyone knows anyway, you just need to confirm it,” Dima says.
“Come on. Let's rip this thing off like a bandaid,” Carlos says as he places his hand on my lower back, forcefully pushing me along so I don’t escape.
Everyone is in the entrance hallway when we leave the office, ready to go see the new properties. I feel sick and my neck is on fire. A strong hand holds mine and I stop and look down at our entwined fingers.
“Together, little lion. You’re in control,” Carlos says.
Wow. I’ve never held someone's hand before. It's like something from a super hero movie, where he is transferring his power and support into me by just holding my hand.
“I fucking knew you two were screwing,” Aaron shouts and runs over.
“No hugging,” I say to him, as he is way too excited.
“About damn time,” Jules says, and I know my face is changing color with embarrassment.
“Good choice, Si. Well done, Carlos,” Ivan says, just as a jealous Tyler slaps him in the chest.
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner, Simon?” Kai asks and I’m not sure how to answer.
“I wasn’t ready, I just didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Well you sucked at that as we all fucking knew,” Ivan says, laughing like he’s a comedian.
“Yes I’ve been told.”
“Enough staring and gossiping, lets go see these properties. We better like them, Tyler, otherwise it will be a trip to the holding pen,” Lev says, and Tyler’s face pales. The holding pen is the Koslovs’ name for their torture room that’s in the basement.
“He’s joking, Ty. You need to stop being so naive,” Aaron says as he walks on out to go look at the houses in the garden.
When we arrive in the back, I’m stunned at what Tyler has managed to pull off. The properties look amazing, all three of them beautiful, but so far away from each other there is enough privacy, and it still looks like a garden.
“Which one is mine?” I ask Dima.
“Will you still need it?” he asks.
Carlos squeezes my hand like a warning, but I like to push his buttons.
“Yeah. If I’ve had a long night in the pen and I'm too tired to drive home,” I say.
“Then I’ll hire you a driver. No nights away from me, Simon.”
“That’s right, Carlos. You tell him,” Ivan shouts and pats my shoulder as he walks by.
I’m a minority here. Then again, I never thought anything of it when the others were being claimed. I found it amusing. It’s amazing how it’s different when it’s happening to you.
“We’ll find a use for it, maybe another guard or something,” Dima says.
I move in close to Carlos, when the others have moved away, looking around their new homes.
“Be afraid to sleep tonight, Carlos, because I’m gonna cut your balls off and have a special velvet box made for them to put in your trophy cabinet.”
As usual, it has the opposite effect that I want.
“I love it when you tease me, little lion. I’ll have you purring later for me. You’ll forget you were even mad.”
After everyone has fawned over their new homes, I accompany Carlos to his office before we head back to his place. As we drive through the frozen streets, it finally hits me that I kind of came out to the guys, and I didn’t die. We even held hands and nobody commented.
I did it.
I finally fucking did it. The curtain has dropped and they all saw me. And the biggest thing. Carlos never let go of me once.