Chapter Twenty
Adrienne
“Then what happened?” Stevie asks, leaning over the bar as if she’s hanging on my every word.
“Nothing. He fell asleep. I cleaned up the kitchen and went home.”
“You didn’t stay?” she asks, clearly surprised by this revelation.
“Why would I? It’s not like we’re in a relationship,” I reason, ignoring the way my heart beats a little fast in my chest.
“Could have fooled me,” she states, grabbing her tray with the drinks I just poured her. “Didn’t you say he went all caveman jealous?”
I roll my eyes. “I did not say that. I said he got pissed at Brock Streeter.”
“Because he was talking to you. I don’t know if you’re aware, but that’s pretty much the number one sign of jealousy.”
My eyes narrow at my friend, mostly because I don’t have a good comeback. I don’t have an argument or an excuse for his uncharacteristic behavior, other than he was tired. “He had just worked a million hours in two days, Stevie, and was going on little sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand the words you’re saying, but all I hear is he was mad and jealous.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I counter, crossing my arms over my chest, staring her down.
Thankfully, the door opens, and a few new patrons walk in and head my way. I wait until they’re seated before I approach, leaving my nosy friend to get back to work. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her head back into the restaurant, and I finally let out a sigh of relief. The truth is, I don’t know how to take the Caden I saw last night. I was…upset. Tired, yes, but it felt like more than that. It felt like…jealousy, and I can’t figure out why. We’re not dating. We’re friends. Friends who have sex, but friends, nonetheless.
Maybe I need to reconsider everything. Nothing looks as black and white as it did even just a few days ago. There’re all these bright colors now, and they’re vibrant and bursting from the paper. It’s mesmerizing and consuming all at the same time.
What I didn’t tell Stevie was that after I went and cleaned up the kitchen, leaving him a plastic container of leftovers in his fridge, I stole a peek at him while he was sleeping. Yep, like the apparent stalker I am, I stood in the doorway, watching him. He was so content, so relaxed, so tired. Even when I accidentally dropped my phone on his floor, he didn’t even flinch. He was passed the hell out, thanks to an almost sleepless night the evening before.
But eventually I forced myself to back away. After several minutes of observing him breathing in and out, wishing I could strip down to my underwear and climb into the bed beside him, I pushed off the doorjamb and forced myself to leave. I grabbed my Crock-pot, flipped off the lights, and locked the door. I made sure his keys were still on the counter where I left them after discovering them still in his knob.
Then, I drove home.
Alone.
And hated every second of it.
Usually, the quiet of night in the peace of my own home is enough for me, but last night, I was restless. I wanted to call Caden, talk to him about his day, even though I know he worked most of it at the house he had the service call at the night before. I hung around a few extra minutes at the office, hoping he’d be done and back at the shop before I left. He wasn’t, and I couldn’t ignore the sadness I felt at not seeing him.
And then the whole gym thing happened, and even though I know Stevie is right and he was acting like a jealous lover, I still ignored the neon signs flashing in front of me like some truck stop on a deserted highway.
I have to.
Because a relationship with Caden isn’t in the cards.
Even if I changed my mind and was ready to settle down with someone, doing the whole dating thing, I know Caden isn’t in the same place. He’s made it very clear he has no intention of ever going there again, let alone considering the possibility of marriage someday.
And let’s be honest, as hurt as I was when Sullivan pulled his disappearing act on our wedding day, I realize I might consider the possibility of falling in love with someone again. Caden made me see that. Just by being him, I’m actually contemplating giving love another try.
Which is exactly why it’s time to put on the brakes. As much as I enjoy spending time with him, I can see myself getting in too deep. I’m falling, and if I’m not careful, I’ll find myself completely smitten and alone, while he goes about his life, bouncing from bed to bed and avoiding relationships.
You know, just like I’ve done?
But this is real.
Real life, and it isn’t always pretty. Hurt happens, even when you try to protect yourself from it at all costs.
“You okay?”
I startle as Max walks up behind me and drops a bucket of fresh ice into the chest cooler. “Oh, yeah, sorry,” I reply with a chuckle. “Just zoning out for a minute.”
He nods, glancing over at the new customers I’ve yet to serve.
I take off before he can ask me any more questions about why I’m just standing here, a dazed look on my face.
“Hey, everyone,” I greet, placing coasters down in front of each patron. “What can I get you to drink?”
After they place their orders, I move to fill three draft beers and two mixed drinks. The door opens again, and I look up, surprised to find Caden and Jack entering. I offer a smile, placing the drinks in front of the customers, and head in their direction. “What are you two doing here?”
“Grabbing a quick bite to eat before we head to the hospital. We have some work to do there in their new surgical wing,” Jack says.
“Oh, that’s right. Big job.”
“It is.” He glances over his shoulder and spots Stevie. Grabbing Caden on the shoulder and giving it a light squeeze, he says, “I’ll meet you in there.”
I watch as he walks away, placing a gentle kiss on Stevie’s cheek as he finds a table in her section. I’ve always appreciated the way he respects and treats my friend, especially how he showers her with constant love and support, but this is the first time since I met them that I’ve envied them.
“Uhh, I just wanted to say thank you for last night.”
I turn my head and grab a washcloth to start wiping down the bar. “Oh, you’re welcome. It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing, and thanks to the leftovers you left, I now have dinner,” he informs me with a cheesy grin I can’t help but return.
I scrub on the bar top, even though there’s nothing on it to wipe away. “That’s what friends are for.”
He watches me, and I’m unable to read his expression. “Listen, I’ve been thinking…”
A lump forms in my throat, and something tells me I know exactly what’s coming. It’s the same thing I’ve been considering, only Caden’s beating me to it. “Oh? About what?” I ask, clearing my throat, which just causes the lump of dread to fall to the pit of my stomach.
He opens his mouth and hesitates. There’s confusion and uncertainty in his eyes that causes my anxiety to skyrocket. “I’ve been thinking,” he starts once again, looking down for a brief moment before meeting my gaze and holding it. “Next weekend is the big basketball tournament in Cincinnati I was telling you about. I didn’t know if you were working or not, but I thought I’d see if you wanted to go. With me.”
Okay. That’s not at all what I thought he was going to say.
“I was checking earlier like you suggested, and there is a Reds game Friday night. We could leave here around four and be to the game in plenty of time for first pitch.” He seems nervous to ask, which is completely out of character for him.
“I thought you were going with your sister.”
He shrugs. “We were planning to drive separately, and I’ll just get my own hotel room. This way, Joshua can have the second bed to himself instead of sharing with me or crashing on the couch.”
“What about Meredith?”
He looks at me for an extra second, his head tilting slightly to the side in thought. That’s when I realize how my question sounded. I came off like the jealous lover now, and it’s shocking to even me.
Clearing his throat, he says, “Uhh, I don’t know for sure, but if she goes, she usually crashes with Scar. That’s if she stays.”
I shake my head, trying to get out of my own brain. I run through my upcoming schedule and know it’ll be my Saturday to work. “I think I’ll have to work that Saturday,” I comment as Max is passing, delivering a few plates of food.
“What Saturday?” he asks, butting right into our conversation.
“Next. I’m not certain which shift I’ll have to work, but it’s my Saturday on.”
Max places the plates in front of the patrons before turning his attention to me. “I’m off. I’ll work for you,” he offers, and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not. If I was planning to end our little arrangement, heading off to Cincinnati for the weekend isn’t how I should do it.
“Really?” I find myself asking.
“Sure,” he replies with a shrug. “I’m sure I’ll need you to return the favor at some point. My girlfriend has a little guy, and we’re always trying to schedule fun weekend outings.”
“I’ll definitely help,” I say. If I’m going to have someone work a shift for me, I always make sure I do the same for them.
“Sounds good. I’ll let Garreth know about the switch.”
“Thanks,” I tell him as he heads out to check on the tables and booths around the bar.
“So, it sounds like you’re covered.”
“Sounds like it,” I reply.
“Great. We can leave as soon as you’re ready on Friday. The championship games are on Sunday, so it might be late by the time we get home, depending on where they fall in the brackets.”
“No worries. I’m sure I’ll have to work Monday, but that shouldn’t be an issue.”
He flashes me a charismatic smile. “I’m sure I can talk to your boss at your other job so you can go in late if needed.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s how it starts. Special favors.”
He leans over the bar, getting close enough that only I can hear. “I have a whole list of special favors, sugar.”
My body responds as it always does when he insinuates something dirty. “I’m sure you do.”
“Maybe I can give you the shortlist later?”
I snort and shake my head. “Oh, Caden. There’s nothing short about you.”
His smile is wolfish, his blue eyes sparkling like sapphires. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”
“Maybe,” I reply, heading down the bar to take care of my customers. I feel his eyes on me as I go, and when I look back, he’s grinning. He winks before pushing off the bar and making his way into the main dining room, where Jack is waiting.
My brain is spinning, bouncing back and forth between wanting him and knowing I should let him go, like I’m watching a tennis match at Wimbledon. I guess I’m just going to let it ride. Realizing I’m getting in too deep is half the battle, and now I’ve acknowledged it, I can be on my toes. I can watch for the signs it’s time to end the fun. Maybe I’m just ignoring the fact now is the time, but honestly, it just doesn’t feel right yet.
Soon.
I’ll put a stop to our time together soon, and then we can transition into just being friends. Friends who don’t sleep together. We’ll still see each other at work and when we’re both around Stevie and Jack, and everything will be fine.
Fine.
Keep telling yourself that…
***
“Here.” Caden hands over one of the hot dogs we purchased from the concession stand, while I place both of our draft beers on the concrete at our feet after taking a seat in the bleachers.
It’s a gorgeous night for baseball, the sun’s ready to drop below the city skyline and a light breeze’s blowing off the Ohio River. Rock music is pumped through the speakers as the players finish up their pregame warm-ups.
I take a bite of my Skyline Chili Coney Dog, my eyes glued to the field. The bleachers aren’t packed, which is more comfortable for us attendees. I hate being packed in like sardines, the entire row having to move when someone needs to get up. We have some much-appreciated breathing room tonight.
A local high school girl sings the national anthem, giving me goosebumps, and the ump declares it time to play ball. The Reds take the field to a resounding thunder of applause and cheers, and before I know it, the first pitch is being thrown.
“It’s been forever since I’ve been to a game,” Caden confesses, finishing off his first hot dog and reaching for his second.
“One of the beer distributors for the bar I used to work at would give us tickets every year. They were always bleacher seats, but I didn’t care. I love the atmosphere, hanging out with other attendees here for an inexpensive seat, warm beer, and tasty hot dogs.”
He grins just as we hear the crack of a ball hitting a bat. We watch as it sails up and behind home plate, stopped by the security netting in place. “Maybe we’ll get a ball tonight,” he says between bites.
“That would be awesome, but only if it was a Reds player’s home run ball.”
“Of course,” he agrees, finishing off his second hot dog before picking up his beer and taking a drink. Caden leans back against the bleacher behind him, thanks to no one sitting there, and extends his arm. “This is pretty great. I’m glad you convinced me to do this.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for the invite.” I take a drink of my own beer, balling up my hotdog wrapper and placing it with the other trash that needs to be taken to a garbage bin.
His hand brushes across my back, sending lightning bolts of desire racing through me. “I admit, I have ulterior motives.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.
I chuckle and set my beer down. “I assumed so,” I tell him, knowing there would most likely be some bedroom extracurriculars throughout the weekend.
My brain does some quick math, and something hits me. I’ve been taking the last week of my birth control pills and haven’t started my period. That never happens. The placebos ensure it.
“You okay?”
I glance toward Caden, who’s watching me intently. “Yep. Great.”
He nods, but I’m not sure he believes me. I think he can sense—and perhaps feel, since his hand is brushing against my back—the tension suddenly racing through me.
We go back to watching the game, clapping at all the right times and celebrating the moment we score our first run, but in the back of my mind, I’m wondering if I somehow got it wrong. Am I really taking the last weeks’ worth of pills? I’ve had some light cramping, but that’s normal for a day or two leading up to my period.
Maybe it’s stress. Lord knows I’ve had plenty lately. Starting the second job, which is going great, mind you, has added a little extra pressure to my day. But I don’t mind, because it’s taken that stress off Jack’s and Caden’s plates. That’s what they hired me to do, and I feel like it’s working well.
That’s got to be it. The added stress and lack of sleep, thanks to Caden’s insatiable appetite, has thrown my internal lady clock off-kilter. No biggie. I’m sure it’ll readjust itself with the next packet of pills.
We watch five innings of baseball, and I can honestly say, I’m content, relaxed, and happy. Sports are my passion. The competitive nature in me thrives while watching games, whether it be basketball, baseball, football, or even hockey. Hell, I’ve even found myself watching badminton and bowling when I couldn’t find anything else on TV.
At the bottom of the sixth, I stand up to stretch my back. The bleachers are all about the experience and lack severely in comfort. In fact, they suck. I reach for the night sky, reveling in the sweet muscle stretch when I hear the crack of the bat. Everyone is up, on their feet, watching as the ball sails toward the outfield. The ball gets closer and closer, heading straight for us. I react, throwing out my hand and catching that ball in the palm of my bare hand. The sting is intense, the shock of the catch reverberating through my arm.
“Holy shit!” Caden grabs my shoulders and squeezes, giving me a little shake. “I can’t believe you just caught that.”
I look at the ball and shake my head. “Me either,” I reply with a chuckle.
The crowd around me cheers and congratulates me, and my face appears on the big screen just over my shoulder at centerfield. My hand hurts, and I’m sure it will for a bit, and even though it still stings like a bitch, I can’t stop smiling.
But as happy as I am, I know what I have to do. I glance around as the crowd starts to return to their seats. I spot her down in front and to the left. She’s got to be about five or six, her blond curls wild beneath a Reds ball cap that’s way too big for her head. She’s holding up her glove, no doubt hoping to catch the next one that flies our way.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Caden and start moving before he can ask any questions.
I move down the bleachers, carefully not to obstruct anyone’s view for very long. When I reach her, she’s eagerly sitting beside her dad, bouncing up and down and enjoying the entire game experience.
“Hi,” I say, carefully squeezing onto the bench in front of her. “What’s your name?”
She looks at her dad, her green eyes wide with excitement. When her dad nods, she answers, “Isabella.”
“What a beautiful name, Isabella.” I hold out the ball I just caught. “Would you like to have this?”
Her eyes widen even more as she stares down at the ball. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” I move the ball a little closer.
She reaches for it before stopping. The child looks back at her dad with pleading eyes. When he nods once more, she holds out her hand and I place the ball in her palm. “Take good care of it, okay, Isabella?”
“I will!” she proclaims, holding her new treasure high above her head and earning some cheers from the fans surrounding us.
“Thank you,” her dad mouths as he listens to his daughter recount the home run that led to that ball.
“You’re welcome. Enjoy the game, Isabella.”
“Thank you.”
I get up and make my way back to Caden. A few fans give me nods of respect and tell me, “Very cool of you” and “Good job.”
By the time I reach Caden’s side, he has his arms around me, enveloping me in a big hug.“That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
I shrug, hating the praise. I didn’t do it for that. I did it for the little girl and the memories she’ll carry with her for the rest of her life. “It was nothing.”
“It was everything.” He places a tender kiss on the tip of my nose.
We watch the rest of the game with our arms wound around each other like a real couple. I try not to dwell on the fact we’re not one, but it’s too hard to ignore the way he makes me feel.
How he makes me feel.
Dammit, I’ve gone and done it.
I’ve fallen in love with Caden Neumann.
Now what?