11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Vi
I took a sip out of a very strong cup of coffee. I had somewhat recovered, but I had slept terribly the first few nights after Jake and I visited the latest venue option. Maybe I should have taken a page out of Jake's book and worked on my self control, because I hadn't had enough of it that day. I had held back— even when we'd walked on the tightrope between where we were and where we could be. We had stayed on the right side of things. Lines had been held.
Barely. And now I knew he felt enough to be jealous. And he knew I did, too.
"Vi?"
Jake hovered at the door, in his suit pants and shirt. No tie, and sleeves rolled up so I could immediately see his freckled, thick forearms and wonder if I would need two hands to wrap around anything of his.
"Fuck me." I ground out.
He gave me a lopsided smile. "I feel like now we know exactly where I picked up that expression."
I laughed. "Fine. Hold me responsible."
"Are you okay to have our meeting now?"
"Yes, of course." I checked my watch. Jake was on time; I had been distracted and hadn't noticed.
He sat across from me at my desk; I made sure to leave the glass wall transparent and the door open. Just in case.
"You must be having a lot of these meetings, huh?" I asked.
He nodded. "I'm in full transition mode. Helping Samar move up to my role, and meeting with all the VPs helping me move up, too."
"Well, some of this will overlap, I'm sure." I took a deep breath. "And that's precisely the nature of how vice presidencies are set up in the conglomerate."
"Tell me more."
I gazed at him. I was certain that he knew this already, but his eyes remained steady on my face, focused like he didn't want to miss a thing.
"I'm not going to test you on this." I smiled and allowed my eyes to lock with his. "You know that, right? In fact…"
I got up and found a binder Stephanie and I had prepared for this. Before sitting down on my chair again, I gave it to Jake.
"This is all the info I need you to know," I said. "It includes an annex with all the policies that are relevant to Legal. It overlaps with all departments, but you'll see a special section for HR, of course."
He nodded as he flipped through the pages. Over the years, we hadn't had lots of interaction alone at work. Things would change dramatically now that he would be a VP, so I had prepared for this transition, too. A binder was part of my plan of attack. So far, we kicked butt at this being professional thing.
I crossed my legs and rocked in my chair. "Since you have it all together there, I thought I'd give you the CliffsNotes on the most important bits."
"Sure." He lifted playful eyes my way. "Show off your executive side. I don't really get to see it."
"You'll see it a lot moving forward. As VPs, we'll interact consistently. Our job at this level is to articulate the strategic and operational goals of the conglomerate, as well as those of the different subsidiaries."
He nodded. "We're the hinge in the matrix structure."
"That's right. That's also why my dad— and Gabe— have both the CEO title and President. They're at the top of the hierarchy for both sides of the matrix."
Jake put an ankle over a knee, and closed the binder on top of it. He stole a glance in the general direction of my thighs, but took it away the next instant.
He cleared his throat. "Does it bother you that the role went to Gabe? Did you want it, too?"
"Not really." I shrugged. "I wouldn't be opposed to it, but Gabe wanted it, so I was happy to let it go to him. I've always felt this is a family deal, the Sotomayor Group. Maybe with the next generation it'll go to my kids."
He stared at me for a long time; I held his gaze until my stomach filled with butterflies.
The question that came out of his lips did so softly.
"You want kids?" he asked.
In my moments of full limerence for Jake, I had imagined two children, both of them with different shades of glossy brown hair, and strong hints of red in the sun. Maybe one of them would have blue eyes like Jake.
I gulped and woke up my computer for a quick glance at my inbox. Nothing there.
"Yeah, I do." I bit my bottom lip. "And if one of them wants the CEO role, I'm sure they could get it. Gabe didn't get the role out of a hereditary thing."
His nod was slow. I would have asked him what occupied his mind, if there weren't so much tension between us.
"All right." He shook his foot. "Teach me more."
I sighed. It was a good idea to go back to work. "The amount of people you'll work with will reduce. Now you will work closely with the COO, of course, just like Gabe did with you, but you will also work closely with the other VPs and the CEO. We each have our titles and accountabilities, but we're heavily involved in each other's business at this level."
His leg stopped shaking. He crossed his arms and a small smile appeared on his lips. Sitting there in front of me, with his blue shirt and slacks, overwhelming the chair with his imposing size— it put dangerous ideas in my head.
His ancestry was Scottish. Some of those ideas had to do with him wearing a kilt and one of those loose shirts from period dramas, a knife of some sort in his sock.
I slashed the thought with a big Highlander sword, and continued as if this were any other person I worked with. Several legal considerations for him as a VP later, we reached a section that brought us close to dangerous topics.
"One of the biggest legal risks for you at this level is the same as before," I said. "We take power dynamics very seriously across the board, and inappropriate behavior isn't tolerated at any level. As you know, we have very strong policies aimed to reduce harassment and other forms of abuse among employees. This includes the rule prohibiting folk in a position of power to seek new romantic entanglement with people subordinate to their role, or in any other vulnerable position in regard to their role."
I waited for him to nod before adding the next part. His gaze was intense on me, and my skin tingled with the power of it.
"Now that you'll be a VP, and because of our matrix structure, that means you cannot be involved with anyone that works for the conglomerate." I gulped. "Except, perhaps, another person at your level."
"Like another VP." His voice rumbled in the air between us.
I nodded. "Unless it's unwelcomed. One question testing the waters is okay… two or more and we risk crossing boundaries into harassment territory."
He mirrored me and nodded too. "I understand."
"Most VPs find that they're too busy, at the start, and it takes some time to find your footing. There's still a learning curve at this level, of course."
"You've dated." His breathing seemed to quicken. "And Gabe did too, eventually. I'll be fine."
"You will be. Being a VP will only make you more of an eligible bachelor. It's one of those fun, patriarchal things. Like with gray hair— to society, it adds points to a masc person. The opposite to a femme person."
He tsked. "Then I'm all out of luck. I'm a cis man, but I don't think I'll get grays. I'll miss out on that benefit to my gender."
"Oh?" I studied his hair closely; a chance I didn't often get. "Is it the color?"
"Yep. My kind of hair just… fades."
I spoke without reviewing my words ahead of time. "It's gorgeous hair. Isn't it what they call strawberry blonde? Or would it be ginger?"
He cocked his head and stared at my hair in turn, like he was mentally comparing the colors. "Yeah. Lightest shade of redhead, I think. What color is yours? I always thought it looked the color of a luxurious dark wood. Or silk. I bet it's soft."
His voice had continued to be low, like he'd thought out loud, too. But we clocked the words at the same time, and our eyes whipped to each other.
"Shit." He cleared his throat. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I started it. I apologize."
He frowned and looked out the window to the city below. "I would say— That is… I have a question about something you said, but I could ask someone else if you like. It's about romantic relationships in the workplace."
"What is it?" I sounded slightly breathless. I held the air in my lungs for a few extra seconds, in the hope it would help. "I should be able to answer it."
He avoided my eyes. "I'm sure there's more detail in the binder, but I noticed how you said I'm forbidden from having a relationship with anyone outside of my own executive level. I have read the policies in the past…"
Heat spread through my skin. We weren't talking about anything significant, really, much less something untoward. It was a good thing he had these questions; it showed interest in the legal matters of running this large corporation. Regardless of the reasoning behind the conversation, and despite my best judgment, I was in too deep. I didn't manage to extricate the hope from my chest, that he thought of us when considering these issues.
I resisted the urge to make the glass around my office opaque, so no one could see the effect all of this had on me.
He finally brought his eyes to me. "I believe the rule isn't absolute. There have been relationships between people at different levels. I'm not talking about the inappropriate ones that were handled, but the other ones. The ones that were allowed to continue."
I bit my lip. His eyes roamed over my face, now, like the answer I gave him mattered enough to want to record every piece of information I gave him.
"It's true." I swallowed. "The rule isn't absolute. People fall in love. There are also terrible people who abuse their position of power. The policies aim to draw lines between the two. It's different at lower levels in the structure than at this one, though. At lower levels, they always need to disclose to HR, superiors cannot seek relationships but if it happens, there are steps they're supposed to follow. The person in the most vulnerable position has to be the one making the overture and, after, there are things we can do to help support fair treatment for everyone. Moving people around to different departments, having rules of engagement, private interviews, etcetera, it all helps. Where we are in the hierarchy, though…"
His eyes settled on mine. "We can't just move people around, and we have positions of power over all of HR."
I nodded. "The Board is pretty good about setting boundaries between personal dynamics and the interests of the company, and we have some policies in place for personal relationships that apply. But we haven't had to use the ones around romantic relationships yet."
"That's what I thought." His lips thinned. "I read those, too."
My heart quickened. He was supposed to know these things, and yet, for the first time in my career, my brain didn't command the meeting like it should.
"Good," I said. "We should be aware of these basic legal considerations across the board, just like I'm aware of issues with Operations, for example. But it's also the contracts, international regulations, and other stuff I mentioned earlier. It's all in the binder."
"Can I ask something else?" He stared at me like he could read my thoughts, but wanted to give me space to breathe.
I nodded. Instinctually, I swung my hand out and turned the glass opaque. The door remained open, so no one got any ideas.
His nostrils flared. "Does it matter who initiates things at this level?"
"Not really. As long as everything is ethical."
"I see." He gave me a single nod and licked his bottom lip. "I have one more question."
"Maybe you should read the binder," I whispered.
"The answer won't be there."
Was he going to ask? Initiate? He wasn't a VP yet. But the idea had my chest shaking, and my lungs running, and my hands tingling with a need to touch him somehow.
"I won't ask you out, Vi." His voice was only for me. "You can breathe."
I closed my eyes. "Stop reading me."
"I can't stop." The words came out hoarser than before. "Your face is so expressive, and if I could stop looking at you, I don't know that I would have tried."
"Jake."
I opened my eyes to find his blue-gray stare fixed on me. My office filled with something dense, but it glittered, like sunshine through fog.
He put the binder on my desk, leaned forward, and kept his voice deep and quiet. "Will things change between us?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not talking about romance." A light blush appeared on his cheeks. "But over the past few years I've seen you look at me with reservation, hold back your smiles and humor. I understand why you keep your distance—"
"You've kept your distance, too, Jake."
He dropped his head and let out a sigh. "I know. Being too close felt dangerous. I already snapped once. And now that we're going to spend more time together, I don't know what to expect."
"I don't know, either." I let out a big sigh. "But I guess we'll figure it out."