Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JO
“Want another one?” I ask Jordan, tipping the massive bag of Fireballs I bought specifically for our road trip in his direction.
“Definitely not.” Jordan reaches for his Dr. Pepper in the cupholder and takes a long sip. “I didn’t think there was a limit to how many Fireballs I could consume, but it turns out the limit is however many I’ve had between New York and right now, because I officially can’t feel my tongue.”
I laugh, even as a little curl of lust snakes through me at Jordan’s mention of his tongue. We’re five and a half hours into our six-hour road trip to Pittsburgh, and it turns out the effect of spending all these hours in the passenger seat of his car while he drives is my crush ratcheting up from oh, my friend Jordan is cute to inferno levels of I want to jump his bones, like, yesterday please and thank you .
I blame the driving. Did I realize a man driving a car was hot? I certainly did not. But Jordan driving a big, burly SUV I didn’t even realize he owned in aviator sunglasses and a perfectly fitted gray T-shirt that showcases incredible forearms that flex every time he turns the wheel or flicks the turn signal is the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen. Not to mention the way his hands lightly grip the wheel. I didn’t realize hands could be sexy. When they are attached to Jordan Wyles, they absolutely can.
Friends, Jo .
Be friends .
The reminder shakes me out of my figurative panting over the forearm porn on display next to me, and I pick up my own Dr. Pepper, taking a sip to cool down, and also because Dr. Pepper from a rest stop soda fountain on the Pennsylvania Turnpike is the best Dr. Pepper. I don’t make the rules. “That’s weak sauce, J. There is no limit to the number of Fireballs one person can consume.”
Jordan chuckles, and even though he laughs a little more than he used to, the sound is still an unexpected delight. “That’s what Allie used to say. She could eat a million Fireballs and was entirely unaffected by it.”
I smile at the way he mentions Allie’s name with warmth and a touch of humor, and without the haunted, questioning look he used to get when he said her name to me. “Because we’re the smart girls, J. And we’re made of stronger stuff.”
He glances over at me and there’s something on his face that I haven’t seen before, but before I have a chance to examine it, it’s gone, replaced by an expression that’s part memory, part fondness. “She definitely was, and you are too. So, are you sure you don’t mind me just dropping you off at Hallie’s? I promised Jeremy and Ben I would meet them and Asher and Gabe at the bar for a drink later, and I want to go to the cemetery before that.” Jordan shifts in his seat, discomfort suddenly radiating off of him.
“Of course. Hannah’s there too, and I have babies to smother with love. But are you sure you’re good to go to the cemetery by yourself? I can come with you and sit in the car. You don’t have to be alone unless you want to be.”
Jordan blows out a breath, his hands gripping the wheel just a little tighter. “I appreciate it, but I think it’s something I have to do myself. Is it terrible that I feel like I just want to get there and get it over with? It should be something I want to do, right? Not something I need to overcome.”
He sounds so distressed that for a second I lay my hand on his shoulder. “It’s not terrible at all. It’s another step, and every new step is a little scary. For what it’s worth, I think it’ll feel good for you to be there. I think you’ll find some comfort being where Allie is. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. You can be there for as long as it feels right to you, and then go be with your friends.”
The look he gives me is so full of gratitude that I feel a rush of warmth and have to literally hold myself back from taking his hand, just to have the connection. “What does it say about me that I’d rather be doing something crazy with you in New York than anything in Pittsburgh with anyone else?”
The reminder that in two months I’ll be one of those people back in Pittsburgh while he stays in New York has my chest tightening, but I swallow around the emotion and force lightness into my voice. “It says that I’m your very best friend and the J’s Summer of Fun is actually the most fun you’ve ever had.”
“Got that right,” Jordan murmurs. “Even though I kind of already can’t wait to go back to the city, I’m sorry we can’t stay here longer. I know you’ve been missing your sisters and the babies.”
I shrug, waving that away. “I didn’t want to take off more than one day anyway. I’ll get plenty of baby snuggles tonight and tomorrow, and I’ll be good to go back Sunday morning.”
Jordan pulls the car to a stop in front of Hallie and Ben’s house. I unlatch my seatbelt and reach for the door handle, but before I can push the door open, Jordan lays a hand on my arm, stopping me. When I turn, my gaze locks on his, and the depth of emotion swimming in his blue eyes has my next breath clogging in my lungs. “Thank you, Jo. Seriously.”
“For what?” My words sound breathy to my ears, and suddenly this enormous car feels far too small with Jordan’s proximity to me and the space he takes up and the laundry detergent scent that is so quintessentially him filling all my senses.
“For coming with me. For being here. For always knowing the right thing to say. I don’t know. All of it. I don’t think I would have the courage to do any of this without you.”
I take a deep breath to steady myself because the most important thing is being the friend Jordan needs. I want that more than I want anything. I cover his hand with mine. “I think you’re wrong. I think you have all the courage you need on your own. But I’m happy to be here with you, for the fun stuff and the stuff that’s not so fun. I would do anything for you, J. Literally anything.”
Our eyes hold for a beat and something intense passes between us before Jordan leans over the center console and wraps his arms around me, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “Thanks, Hurricane. You’re the best.”
“Oh, I know,” I say with a smirk when we break apart. “I’m fantastic.”
“Here.” Jordan clicks on his phone and flips to his Gallery, clicking on a picture and handing it to me. “I forgot to show you this earlier today.”
I look down at the phone and grin at the picture of Dippy wearing a scarf covered in cars. “Your commitment to dressing him appropriately for the occasion is noted and appreciated.”
“Scroll forward.”
I scroll to the next picture, and it’s Dippy wearing a Pittsburgh Renegades scarf, and then one of him in a scarf covered in the Statue of Liberty. The smile I’m wearing is so enormous I must look borderline deranged. “You took three pictures?”
Jordan shrugs, shifting a little like he’s uncomfortable. “Today is Friday and we won’t be back until Sunday. Three pictures for three days. I didn’t want to break the streak.”
I beam up at him. “Jordan Wyles, you are too good for this world.”
He shakes his head, taking back his phone when I hand it to him and dropping it into the center console. “I’m not. I just like it when you smile. I like being the one who makes you smile.”
With our eyes locked, we both fall silent for a beat, the air thick between us, heavy with an unnamable something . A something that seems to wrap around us, pulling us closer to each other. Jordan’s eyes are dark, and my heart thunders in my chest. The space between us slowly disappears until we’re just inches apart, and his cinnamon-scented breath flutters over my face as a shiver works its way down my spine, and it’s just him and me and want and need and the pure, unadulterated rightness of it all.
The squeal and banging behind me has us jerking apart. I hear Jordan inhale sharply as I whirl around in my seat to see Hannah grinning at me through the window and waving like a lunatic.
“Fuck,” I mutter. I close my eyes and take a breath, trying to calm my galloping pulse as I turn back around to face Jordan, who’s still looking at me, his expression a mix of shellshock and confusion. “I’m sorry about that. Her. I don’t know. All of it.”
That we almost kissed.
That I wish we had.
That most of all, I hope we didn’t just fuck up the best friendship I’ve ever had.
I feel a gust of relief when Jordan does the exact right thing, which is to lean over and wrap his arms around me again, whispering “I’ll see you Sunday,” into my ear.
When we break apart, he has a half smile on his face, and it calms my heart down the rest of the way. “If you need me, call. Seriously, J. Anytime. Day or night.”
He nods. “I will. Have fun with your sisters. Snuggle all the babies.”
Hannah pounds on the window again. “Jo, get the fuck out of the car.”
I roll my eyes. “Sorry about her. She’s annoying as fuck, but I love her.” I push open the door to the car, grabbing the Fireballs on my way out. “I’m taking these. You don’t deserve them after the way you wimped out after only, like, twenty.”
He groans. “Take them. I never want to look at another Fireball ever again.”
I flash him a grin. “Liar. You’ll be begging me for them on the way home.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t you have some babies to get to?”
“You know it. Have a good weekend, J.”
“You too, Hurricane.”
I get out of the car and grab my bag from the back. As I stand on the sidewalk in front of Hallie’s house and watch him drive away, Hannah lets out a low whistle and wraps her arm around me. “Girl, you’ve got some explaining to do.”
I blow out a breath and lean into her, taking comfort in the familiarity of my sister. “Hans, you literally have no idea.”