Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
JORDAN
“Aren’t they great?” Jo raises her voice so I can hear her over the music. We’re standing in a crowd of people in front of the Bandshell in Central Park at a Summer Stage concert featuring an all-female rock group that Jo discovered through her boss at work.
I dip my head to get closer, loving her shiver when my lips graze the shell of her ear. “They’re amazing. So are you.” I press a kiss to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, and she spins in the circle of my arms, grinning at me. She’s wearing a black tank top and cut-off shorts, her hair in two long braids, and a purple trucker hat that says Feminist on her head. She has a can of Dr. Pepper in one hand, the other wrapped around my waist, and her face is flushed, the lights from the stage playing over her gorgeous features in the darkened park.
She is summer personified.
“You’re amazing,” she says, leaning up to kiss my jaw. “I know a crowded concert isn’t exactly your jam, but I appreciate you humoring me and coming along for the ride.”
“Hurricane, I told you, I only want to be where you are. You’re going home in ten days, and there is nothing on earth that would make me spend a night away from you.”
Ten days.
My stomach twists at the thought. At the feel of time with her slipping through my fingers. I know it’s not the end, but it feels that way, with us about to be separated by miles with no real plan for what happens next.
Jo leans forward and kisses my chest, smiling up at me. “I’m not the only one going home, though. You won’t be in New York much longer than I will.”
She’s right. At Jo’s urging, I called my dad’s friend about the open attending position at Boston Children’s, and just like that, I’m going back to pediatrics. In Boston. It feels right, even though being separated from Jo feels entirely wrong.
I manage a smile. “Life comes at you fast.”
Jo looks up at me with her big, green eyes, and everything I feel for her is reflected right back at me. She loves me. I see it. I hear it in every word. Feel it in every touch. I want to grab onto that love and hold it close to my chest. Beg her to move to Boston with me. To turn this summer into a life together. One that means forever.
But to do that, I need to give her the words I feel with every single piece of me, but I can’t seem to say. Because, once upon a time, I promised someone forever, and that life was taken away from me. And the idea of loving like that again and losing it, losing Jo, cuts me off at the knees. It’s a ridiculous thought because I love her like that whether I can say the words or not, but I still can’t manage to get them out. And if I can’t say the words, I can’t ask her to give up her whole life to be where I need to be.
She deserves more than that.
She deserves everything.
Jo brushes my hair back from my forehead and settles her hand on my cheek in what I now recognize as her gesture of comfort. It settles me as much as it deepens the pit in my stomach because she can’t look at me like she does and brush my hair back from hundreds of miles away.
“What’s on your mind, J?” Jo’s voice is soft, like she knows it’s tenderness I need to soothe my roiling thoughts. It’s a wonder I can hear it over the crashing of the music, but then I realize it’s not because I would be able to pick out her voice anywhere. It’s a part of me. She’s a part of me.
I reach for her and wrap my arms around her shoulders, holding her tight. She winds her arms around my waist, and I feel her heart beating against mine, and for a minute, it’s just us, wrapped together, like nothing in the world can keep us apart. But soon, we will be apart.
“I’m really going to miss you, Hurricane,” I say, my voice raspy and a little bit broken. “Maybe I should move back to Pittsburgh instead.”
Jo pulls back, shaking her head, her voice as serious as I’ve ever heard it. “You can’t, J. Pittsburgh isn’t for you anymore. You don’t want to be there. You want to be in Boston. You need to be in Boston. You need your city and your family and there are lots of kids there who need you to heal them. It’s your place, Jordan. It’s where you belong.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to get my emotions under control. “My place is with you. I belong wherever you are.”
She smiles a little, even though her eyes go shiny. “My place will always be with you, and when you’re ready, we’re going to figure it out. I promise we will. Boston or New York or the dark side of the moon, there isn’t anywhere far enough to keep me from you. In the meantime, ten days is not tonight, J. And me going home doesn’t mean the end. We’re going to have lots of nights, and tonight, you’re going to dance with me under the stars.”
I want to tell her I’m ready now. That I love her in the soul-deep, forever kind of way I never thought I could love again, but I do because it’s her, and she’s everything. But the words still won’t come, and as if on cue, the song changes and turns slower. The beat is soft, and it’s the kind of music that practically begs to be danced to.
So I do.
Without speaking, I take Jo’s hands and wrap them around my neck. With my eyes on hers, I run my fingers slowly down her arms, tracing her ribs, the dip of her waist, the soft flare of her hips before sliding my arms around her, pulling her close to me and leaning my cheek on the top of her head. Jo burrows into me and lets out a happy sigh. Her cupcake scent fills all my senses, and I memorize the way her body feels against mine as we sway to the music.
We dance under the stars in the August night laced through with the very first hints of fall, and I send up a silent vow to make every single one of the next ten days count, right up until it’s time to say goodbye.
* * *
Later that night, long after the concert is over, we stumble into Jo’s bedroom with our mouths pressed together. The kiss is slow, our hands unhurried as we undress each other, as if we have all the time in the world.
I pop the button on Jo’s shorts, pushing them to the floor and taking her underwear with them, and she does the same, grazing her fingers over my cock as she goes, laughing softly when I suck in a breath at the feel of her warm hand surrounding my rock-hard length. Pulling her shirt up, I break the kiss just long enough to lift it over her head and toss it away, then reach back to pull my own shirt off, sealing my mouth back over hers.
I lean down and cup her ass, lifting her into my arms as our mouths move together, our tongues locked in a sensual dance. She wraps her legs around me, settling her hot pussy right over my cock, rocking her hips in a way that has us both moaning into the darkness of the room.
“Please, J,” Jo rasps, her hands tangling in my hair as she rolls her hips again, my dick sliding through her wetness, nudging her clit as she sucks in a sharp breath.
“I’ve got you, Hurricane,” I whisper, walking us toward the bed and laying her down, covering her body with mine. I press a line of kisses down her jaw, over her neck and her shoulders and her collarbone. I dip my tongue down into the valley between her breasts and circle one pebbled nipple with my tongue, then the other, as Jo moves beneath me, chasing friction she can’t quite find as I hold my body over hers.
“I need you.” Jo’s words are a plea that arrow straight through my heart, and I don’t know if she means now or always, but whatever it is, I want to give it to her. Show her how I feel even if I can’t say it in words. It’s less than she deserves, but it’s what I’ve got, even if what I want is to give her everything. Because she is everything. Everything I didn’t know I needed. Everything I didn’t think I could ever have again.
“I need you too, Jo. So much. Let me have you tonight. Let me worship you the way you deserve to be worshipped. Show you what you mean to me. Please.”
Jo reaches up and frames my face, keeping her eyes steady on mine. “You have me, Jordan. Tonight, tomorrow, always. And I’ve got you. I swear I do. Let’s show each other, okay?”
I bring my forehead to hers, flayed open at her words, the truth of them, the intensity in her voice. The way she makes me whole again when, for so long, I existed in pieces, living half a life.
Resting my weight on one arm, I reach down and swipe two fingers through her pussy, finding her hot and dripping wet.
“You are so ready for me, Hurricane,” I rasp out, already on edge from her words and her scent and the feel of how much she wants this. Wants us. “I want to do so many things to you. I want to taste you and touch you and feel your mouth on me and fuck you a hundred different ways. And I will. But right now, I want to sink inside you with your eyes on me. Feel your pussy clench around me and watch the way your eyes go soft with pleasure, hazy with need, when I fill you the way only I can. Because this gorgeous, dripping cunt is mine, Jo. Only mine. Let me show you.” I circle her clit lightly and she moans.
“Yes. Please. Show me.” Her voice is thick with arousal, and my need for her is alive.
Hooking an arm under one of her legs, I pull it up, opening her wide for me. I grip my cock, notching myself at her entrance and pushing inside her so slowly I feel like I might die from the wanting. And I know Jo feels the same because she wraps her legs around my waist, pressing her heels into my ass and lifting her hips until I bottom out inside her, our groans weaving together to become one.
I slide one arm under Jo’s waist to hold her to me and lace my other hand with hers, pressing our joined hands into the bed above her head as I start to move in long, languid strokes, angling my hips to hit her clit every time I thrust back in, drawing out her pleasure and my own. Jo moves with me, our bodies rolling in sync, hearts beating out the same rhythm and breaths mingling between us.
I kiss her lips, her cheeks, her forehead, her neck, anywhere I can reach as we move in sync. Jo tightens her legs around me and tangles her fingers in my hair. Sweat slicks our bodies, and we’re all gasps and moans and panting breaths. And when our eyes lock and our rhythm picks up, my heart aches at the enormity of what has grown between us. At how perfectly right it feels.
Pleasure buzzes at the base of my spine, and I thrust harder, grind deeper, hold tighter. It doesn’t take long before we’re both falling over the edge, coming together, as close as two people can be—and still, it doesn’t seem close enough.
“Jo,” I whisper, unable to say more, sure that no one word has ever held so much meaning.
She pushes my damp hair away from my face and rests her hand on my cheek, her eyes never leaving mine. “I know, Jordan. Me too,” she says quietly, resting a hand over my thundering heart.
We stay like that for a long time, eyes locked, bodies joined, hearts cracked open and pouring out a love that we don’t put into words. And when I see Jo’s eyes start to get heavy, I get up, padding to the bathroom and wetting a washcloth with warm water. Kneeling on the bed in front of her, I swipe it between her legs, cleaning her up, pressing kisses to the inside of her thighs, feeling like any moment not connected to her is a moment wasted.
Tossing the washcloth back into the bathroom, I settle Jo on the pillow and slide in next to her, pulling the covers up over both of us. Wrapping my arms around her, I gather her in and hold her tightly against me. I run my fingers up and down her back. She sighs and kisses my chest, tucking her head into the spot between my neck and shoulder that feels like it was made for her and her alone.
And with our bodies intertwined, we drift off to sleep as time keeps ticking by.