32
THE WILDCARD
I was adjusting to my new lifestyle; I was unemployed and having some time for myself before I figured out what was next. I had savings, in case of an emergency, so I knew I was okay for the next few months. Plus my parents and Nate had all offered to pay for my apartment or any bills until I was back on my feet. I suddenly had all the freedom that I had previously missed because of work.
I had been staying with Nate since that day and was barely at my apartment anymore, which made me wonder if giving it up would be an option in the near future.
It was a natural flow. Every morning I would wake up with him and, while he was in the shower, I usually made coffee for us both. Of course, some days I joined him in the shower to give him a morning he would think about all day!
I got to see him in a suit everyday and it never got old. He would give me a goodbye kiss and I would go about my day. Nate had told me to enjoy myself, to make myself at home and I did just that.
Each day, I would make myself a nutritious breakfast, usually poached eggs, avocado, veggies, then read for an hour while that digested and then I would work out. My new daily routine would consist of an hour of yoga followed by 30-minute cardio.
I had to admit, I knew I was slightly curvy but I didn’t realise I was so out of shape. The exercise was good; not just for my body, but for my mind. I was getting more confident within myself; my anxiety had tamed.
I’d keep myself busy with chores, errands and working to better my future. And, when Nate finished work, we usually cooked dinner together or ordered some food in, caught up on our day and settled in to watch something on the TV, before we snuggled into bed together. We had settled into more of a solid couple routine now and, despite this, we kept our sex life as alive as we had before.
After the court case, I also reached out to Ivy. I’d apologised for being such a shit friend and told her the truth about the sexual assault. I needed her back in my life and, as difficult as it was to tell her every aspect of my life right now, we talked like we used to, which made me forget all the shit I had recently been dealing with. The only thing that was still untold was Nate and my relationship.
She was understanding as I unloaded, and didn’t push for any more information than I gave her, accepting that work and the court case was the sole reason that had kept us apart. Not the fact that I was lying to her that I was in a secret relationship with her brother.
I was ready to tell Ivy, I wanted to confess everything, but Nate insisted we wait until after the wedding. I think he was just as scared as I was. It was only for a couple more months that we needed to hide this. We just had to get Ivy through the wedding first. She was on cloud nine at the moment and I didn’t want to take that from her.
I also knew that I needed to uphold our promise to each other to meet regularly. I had been such a flaky friend lately and I needed to stop making excuses. Ivy had never let me down, she had been there for me even when her own life was falling apart.
Ivy was everything to me and I was acting like she wasn’t; I was letting her down. That needed to stop. Today. I had never broken any promises before so why was I doing it now?
Today Ivy had the day off work, so we decided to meet outside our favourite Starbucks. I hugged Ivy tight, not wanting to let her go, and I whispered an apology in her ear. I couldn't even begin to express how sorry I was. I welcomed the embrace and warm smile from her, drawing a line to start fresh.
After our long greeting we made our way inside to the smell of coffee and pastries filling the air, a soft pop music playlist coming from the speakers and the sound of the coffee machines humming in the background. We ordered our usual, and took our seats at a corner table by the window.
She caught me up on everything, from work to Jude and everything in between. Ivy was so positive, it felt good to be around her again. It was like the sun was always shining in her world. Yes, she had bad days, but she never let them get to her which was something admired.
We started to chat about the wedding some more as I had neglected my role and duty to her. We had a few months left until the big day and Ivy had put off wanting to buy her wedding dress until I was ready to go with her. I felt bad as it didn’t leave us much time for her to find her dream dress. Based on the timescale we were on, it needed to be in alterations right now. We had all afternoon to go from boutique to boutique, there wasn’t a shortage of them here in London. I just regretted that Ivy had waited so long but I was honoured that she was willing to wait until we could go together, just like we had planned back in university.
“So, are you ready to help me find my dress?” she squealed, grabbing my hand. She pulled out the book she had prepped with designs and elements of gowns she had seen and told me she knew what she was looking for, that she knew she would buy her dress today. Ivy was always over prepared.
“Of course, let’s go!” I chuckled, I needed this. We gulped the last mouthfuls of our coffees and giggled as Ivy led the way to the bridal store.
The tiny bell chimed as we entered the boutique. It was so chic and clean; bright white walls, white decor and glass shelving. Rows and rows of beautiful gowns of all styles and shades of white were either on display paired with accessories or lined nicely in dust bags.
The assistant greeted us and let us browse so we could tell her what dresses to pull. Ivy’s face lit up when she saw the elegant lace gowns, the glamorous sparkle details and the silky numbers. She danced between them, running her hands over the fabric, looking at the necklines and fine details as she tried to pinpoint which ones she wanted to try. These gowns were beautiful and I was excited for her to see her try these on but it also made me curious when my time came which one I would choose.
“Ivy these are beautiful” I said, mesmerised at the perfect choices lined up around us.
“I know, how am I meant to choose?” she chuckled, still
fluttering around before placing a tiara on her head and striking a pose.
“Well, I think you will know it's your dress as soon as you put it on,” I smiled, reassuringly, “Plus, you already know what you’re looking for. Maybe try some of those and keep an open mind to try something… completely opposite.” She nodded as she looked at the veils hanging down the wall.
The store assistant came over to us, she asked Ivy to choose 5 dresses to start so we could get a feel for sizes, the styles and materials before taking us to the changing room where I sat outside the cubicle. The assistant brought the dresses to us and helped Ivy to get into them. I knew that would be my job as maid of honour on the day to make sure she was in and secure, that the dress and Ivy were perfect in every way.
“Who is he?” Ivy asked, guilt crept onto my face. I forgot I was smiling like an idiot at my phone. Ivy presented herself in a princess ball gown. She looked stunning but it wasn’t the one and she knew it. She went back in to try another dress.
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to dodge the question while anxiety bubbled up.
“Don't answer my question with another question. I've seen that look before. That's you’re ‘in love’ look,” she teased; my heart skipped a beat. Ivy knew me so well that she could read my emotions.
“There's no such thing!" I argued back, Ivy chuckling from the changing room. Now definitely wasn’t the time to answer this.
“And anyway, this day is about you, so no more questions. It’s Ivy Day!” I playfully teased; I wanted today to be all about her.
“Ivy Day? I can live with that.” She backed down as she wandered out of the changing room in yet another dress.
It was a smaller dress, a slim line which looked great, but it
still wasn’t right. We assessed the dress, added on accessories and even sipped the complimentary champagne.
Another couple of dresses in and they just weren’t working for Ivy, they didn’t feel special enough and I could tell that all of Ivy’s visions were fading. She was getting deflated; she thought she knew what she wanted. You know Ivy; we need to find something.
“I’m going to go and have another browse at the dresses” I stated, as she tried on the last one she had chosen. I found a dress that wasn’t what Ivy had looked at but taking in the reactions she’d had about the dresses she tried on so far, it wouldn’t hurt to give it ago. So, I called the assistant over.
It was on the mannequin we had seen and it was beautiful but it wasn’t in Ivy’s vision. This was a wildcard; I could see Ivy in this and the dress screamed her.
“Gi, this is stunning, but it isn’t my vision,” she looked at the dress, admiring its beauty but remaining very hesitant to change her mind. She ran her hands down the fabric and over the details. I could see her eyes light up but she was still determined to find something that she had set her mind on.
“I know, but the dresses you’ve tried have been your vision and
they have not been right. I think you should try this. Remember to keep an open mind,” I reassured her. Please try it, trust me.
“It’s okay to try something different. Something you haven’t thought of going for.”
She gave a small nod and took a breath, carrying the beautiful material into the changing room. It went silent and Ivy hadn’t come out yet.
“Ivy? You okay?” I was now worried; Ivy hadn’t taken this long when she tried the others on and I worried this dress didn’t fit her well and she was battling with her insecurity. Even the strongest and most confident people can be insecure and this was a big decision. These photos were forever. It needed to be perfect. It needed to be comfortable and she needed to feel like she was the most beautiful person in the room.
“Gi…” she said, I got up ready to walk to the changing room just as she came out. Ivy was a vision; the dress was perfect. It was the dress. “This is the one!” she said, stunned, before she started to cry. My hands covered my mouth in shock at how breathtaking she looked.
I couldn’t help but get emotional too. I could see this in the venue, I could see the guests admire her, but most of all I could see Jude’s reaction; Ivy wore it perfectly. This dress was made for her and, even though it wasn’t what she’d had in mind, the wildcard was the one.
“This is the one,” I smiled, hugging her tightly as she cried into my arms, relieved that her manifestation had come true after we began to lose some hope.
She pulled back, wiping the tears and running her hands all over the dress, admiring herself in the mirror and taking a moment to take it all in. She chuckled as she ran her eyes over her figure, caressing the fine details. We added in some accessories and Ivy was transformed to the final look, the perfect bride. She didn’t hesitate, not even when it came to the price. This was her dress.