Chapter 10
TEN
I had spent the last two days trying to come to terms with these quickly growing feelings I had apparently developed for Luke. I was in denial, and I planned to stay in this little cocoon of denial for as long as I could.
I couldn’t have Luke. No matter how badly I wanted him.
I’d told myself countless times that it was just an attraction, because how could I not be attracted to him?
It was inevitable. He was hot—like, smokin’ hot.
And he was funny. Not to mention, that way he had of turning off that crass feature of his and turning into someone who was sensitive and understanding and caring.
But he was off-limits. He was totally off-limits.
I would not go through what I went through with Alex. If I started something with Luke, it wouldn’t be healthy, because my intentions would be to never be with him, and how was that fair?
I had also pondered maybe just being friends with benefits. I’d thought about that several times, especially when lying in bed at night, alone.
I just didn’t think that would work out, though.
I would get attached, and he wouldn’t. He’d made it very clear that he could handle sex without getting hooked.
I mean, he’d had at least a handful of girls at his house just since he’d moved in.
I hadn’t counted the exact number, but I had noticed that there were never repeats. But who’s paying attention?
So here I was, at this giant roadblock, trying to ignore how my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, how I looked forward to our little pranks, and how he had somehow made it into more than one of my fantasies.
Gah. Speak of the devil . There he was, stepping out onto his back porch with a piece of pizza in hand, staring directly at me.
I’d always loved coming out on my back deck in the late evenings. There was just something refreshing about the night sky in the middle of fall. The air was almost crisp; the autumn leaves put out a smell that was indescribable…I loved it, especially when I just needed a mental break.
“You know, you shouldn’t come outside with your hair wet. That’s how you catch a cold,” he shouted after taking a seat on his lawn chair and propping his legs up on the wooden railing.
“Who are you? My mom?” I yelled back.
He didn’t answer. He shoved the rest of the pizza in his mouth and hopped over the railing of his deck, landing with a small thud on the ground.
I sat up a little straighter in my chair, peeking down below my ledge.
Luke walked nonchalantly over to my deck stairs and then started to skip up them with a little pep in his step.
“What are you doing?” I asked, faking annoyance.
“I’m coming to hang out. Why?”
“Why are you coming to hang out with me?” I cocked my head to the side, shoving my wavy, wet hair over my shoulder. “Don’t you have any girls to entertain you tonight?”
“Maybe I want you to entertain me tonight.” My eyes widened when the words came out of his ever-so-fine mouth.
I scoffed. “Well, you’re going to be disappointed.”
“I doubt that.”
He sat down in the chair beside me, crossing his lengthy fingers against his chest. Nervousness set in my bones and caused me to gulp more of the hot tea that I had been sipping on.
I wished I could have been sipping on wine right then to calm my nerves swirling around at our closeness, but I was on-call, so hot tea it was.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked, placing my cup back in my lap.
“Sure.”
“How do you afford your house?”
Loud laughter filled the air, and my mouth fell open. Was something funny?
“That’s your question? I figured you were going to ask me about the whole snake debacle.”
I answered, “Uh, yeah, that’s my question, but I am still annoyed that you left my door open and I almost died from a heart attack.
” We both laughed, and then I turned away from him, continuing with my curiosity.
“Anyway…it’s just… our houses have to be in the same price range, and the rent here is astronomical.
I make good money, and still, the only reason I can afford it is because I rent from a family friend who gives me a dirt-cheap price. ”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nodding his head up and down. Then, he reached up and ran his hand over his face .
“My grandpa owned the house, rented it out, passed away, and then left it to me.”
I felt my eyebrows scrunch inward.
“Oh.” I thought for a moment. “So, you knew the last renters?”
“Yep, I was technically their landlord.”
“I loved them.”
He turned toward me, smiling. “They loved you, too.”
“They talked about me?”
Luke chuckled. “Yes. All the time. But I have to admit, you weren’t what I was expecting when I moved in.”
Tension landed on top of my shoulders. “What were you expecting?”
“Well, honestly, I thought you’d be, like, sixty by the way they talked about you.”
I laughed out loud. “They were probably talking about Ms. Deacon.”
I tilted my chin toward the house behind ours. It was enormous, and I considered it the “mother” of our houses. It was white and at least three stories with a wraparound porch. I felt envious every time I glanced at it.
“She’s in her late sixties, and she owns ten cats. Never does a single thing except dote on them and tend to her garden out back. She’s a homebody, that’s for sure. No family. Nothing. Just her cats.”
He laughed. “Yeah. They described you similar to that. Said you were quiet, never did anything but work, and that you liked to read. I thought they were talking about an old lady, Cammie.”
“They still could have been talking about Ms. Deacon. She likes to read, too.”
He bit his lip. “They said your name was Cammie.”
I took another sip of my tea simply out of embarrassment. I’d been such a sulk since Alex had died. Even my sweet, older neighbors had noticed.
“Oh…” I trailed off. “So, are you from around here, then?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Nice change of subject.” He chuckled but went along with it. “I’m from South Carolina. I have one little brother, a deadbeat dad, and a hardworking mom who makes the world’s best sweet tea.”
I smiled genuinely at the thought of his mom making sweet tea. That was so cliché, but so cute at the same time. Before I could dig any further into his life, he sat up quickly and looked me right in the eye.
“Have you ever been cheated on?”
I leaned back against my wooden chair and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“It’s a simple question, Cammie. Have you ever been cheated on?”
Biting my lower lip, I nodded. Slowly. Very slowly.
Luke’s face, barely visible in the faint light from the small lantern on the table between us, grew tense. His jaw was clenched, muscles working beneath his ears.
“Tell me about it.”
He leaned back in his chair, visibly looking more relaxed, so I gave in and let myself tell the story that had been hidden beneath several layers of hurt.
“His name was Grant,” I began. “We went to college together. My brother despised him.”
I laughed, remembering the brief encounters that Grant had with Alex. Grant always thought Alex loved him, but really, Alex had to refrain from punching him in the face. It really wasn’t funny then, but it kind of was now.
“We dated for a year. We were pretty serious. I had a key to his apartment and everything. Actually…” I racked my brain, conjuring the visual of my keychain sitting on my entryway table.
“I still have the key,” I snickered. “But shortly after Alex died, I kind of shut myself off. We only texted a few times in the month after everything fell apart. Things were rough.” I could feel the hurt that still laid within my heart begin to surface.
“Especially for my mom, so I was busy—distracted and distant. That was why I hadn’t seen the signs that were being thrown at my very feet. ”
I watched as Luke cracked his neck at my words, and then he straightened up a little taller. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said that this was bothering him.
Crossing my legs in front of me to sit Indian style, and gripping my cup in my hands, I finished my story.
“JoJo dragged me out of my apartment one day, saying I needed some fresh air and a decent meal. And there’s really no arguing with her, so I let her lead me down the street to The Chelsea.
It was just after five on a weekday. Grant told me he had been working late during the week, so when I rounded the corner and saw him passionately kissing a woman with long, red hair outside of the brewery—you know, the one down the street from here?
” Luke nodded his head in agreement. “Well, I stopped dead in my tracks and almost fell to the ground. When JoJo saw what I saw, I thought she was going to kill him!”
I started to laugh, hoping it would hide the little bit of angst I still felt. I hadn’t loved Grant; I knew that now. But when you spent an entire year dating someone, it still stung—a little.
“He ran from her, Luke. Fucking ran!” I laughed again.
“So, that was it. I threw away all of his shit and went on with my life. He tried to reach out a couple times, saying it was my fault for being so closed off after Alex’s death, but it only made me angrier.
” I paused for a second. “I haven’t spoken to him since—not once.
And despite him living only a few blocks away from me in those ugly brick apartments on the corner by The Chelsea, I’ve never run into him. Thank God.”
I let out a long breath and felt semi-relieved to have spoken about Grant. I’d kept it under lock and key for so long. It happened ten months ago, and I’d buried it.
“He’s a fucking idiot.” Luke’s words were sharp, curt, and angry.
“I can’t argue with that.”
He stood up and paced back and forth for a second with a cute grin on his face that had me rethinking my rule on every level.
“What do you say we go play a prank on someone other than each other?”
I spied the little mischievous twinkle in his eye, and it made my fingertips tingle with anticipation.