Chapter 10 #2
“What do you have in mind?”
He stepped in front of me. “Do you have jelly?”
I thought for a moment, picturing my pantry. “Yes.”
“Do you have hair remover? Like that stuff you can use for your legs?”
I chuckled. “Yes.”
“Do you have chocolate chips?”
I paused. “Uh… yeah, I think.”
Luke turned his back and walked down my porch stairs.
“Go get them, and meet me out front.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. The thought of spending the evening with him made me giddy and not at all annoyed—which was extremely dangerous. I was playing with fire, and I was totally fine with getting burned. Hell, I kind of wanted to erupt in full-on raging flames.
After I had gathered the necessities, I threw on my skinny jeans and pulled my wet hair up into a messy bun.
Luke was waiting for me below my steps with a despondent look upon his face.
But as soon as he saw me, he covered it up with a smile.
I ignored the desire that was prodding my brain to ask him what was wrong and why he was trying to hide behind a smile.
I kept my lips sealed, hopping down my concrete steps with a jar of jelly, a pink bottle of hair-removal cream, and an opened bag of chocolate chips in my hands.
“Are you ready to get down to business?” he asked, and I laughed out loud.
“You’re ridiculous,” I replied, and we started to walk down the street, passing by all the darkened historical homes without lights on. It was nearly eleven at night, so the town was quiet. Eerily quiet.
It was so quiet that when Luke spoke, I jolted.
“I told you I would be entertained tonight.”
I grimaced at him. “What exactly are we doing?”
“We’re going to make life a little interesting for the dipshit who cheated on you.”
I stopped mid-pace and planted my feet on the sidewalk. “Wait a second. We can’t go to Grant’s!” I exclaimed.
Luke stopped walking, turned his torso toward me, and stalked the remaining few feet in between us.
“Yes. We can. This is me getting you out of your old lady ‘funk.’ Just live a little, Cammie.”
His sea-glass green eyes were pitiful looking, and they captured me like a damn Polaroid camera.
“It’s really hard to say no to you.” And that scares me .
His shoulders shot upward. “I know.”
He was so smug, but I couldn’t help but like it. It fit him. If I hadn’t seen his good side—the caring part behind all his smart-ass comments—I would have probably still despised him, good looks and all. But he’d shown me that side of himself, and it had me completely caught up in him.
The closer we got to Grant’s small, brick apartment, the more I started to rethink this little plan and “living on the edge,” as Luke put it.
What if Grant doesn’t even live there anymore? What if the redhead is there? Oh, God. What if he wakes up and calls the police? I can’t go to jail!
My free hand reached out, and I grabbed Luke’s bare forearm. He paused and looked down at me, a worried look tracing the sharp lines on his face.
“What?”
“What if he wakes up?”
He gently covered my hand with his and said, “Cammie. You’re with a pro. Relax.”
My shoulders relaxed slightly, but I continued to bite my bottom lip.
“I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”
Luke rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips out from under my arm.
“Do you trust me?” he whispered.
I exhaled. “Yes.”
“Then stop worrying that pretty little head of yours. I’ve got this. I won’t let anything bad happen.”
I bit my lower lip even harder, and when his hand swiped up to release it from between my teeth, my breath caught in my throat.
He stared into my eyes, and my heart instantly skipped a few beats.
Then, I heard the crinkling noise of plastic, and I dropped my gaze to the chocolate chip bag.
He dipped his hand inside and pulled out a handful of the delightful morsels.
Their sweet smell filled the air, and he plopped the entire handful into his mouth.
Then, he turned away from me with his mouthful of chocolate and tilted the bag in my direction.
I reached my fingers inside to pull out a few chocolate chips, threw them in my mouth, savoring their gooey goodness, and then kept on walking. Just like that.
Things were always so different with Luke, but in a good way.
My heart always felt…full around him, no matter the situation.
Whether I was rolling my eyes at him, or whether he was covering me up in bed, I felt happy with him.
Even now, as I watched him eat a handful of chocolate, I felt completely content.
“So, just to be clear,” I said. “We brought the chocolate chips to eat?”
“Mmhm. They’re my favorite snack.”
I laughed and he turned to me, grinning with the left side of his mouth turned upward. I quickly pulled my gaze from his, because that grin got me…
Every.
Single.
Time.
We walked another block, and I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t been called in to work yet. Then the thought hit me.
“What if he shoots you?! What if he thinks you’re a burglar?”
Luke ignored me with an exasperated breath.
“Seriously, Luke. He has a gun! He’s one of those guys who always carries one to seem more important than he really is. ”
He snorted. “Seriously? Why were you dating someone like him?”
Grant wasn’t all bad. He was attractive with his blond hair and deep-blue eyes. He always wore nice clothes, and he made me laugh—sometimes. But now that we’d been apart and I’d had time to reflect, I realized I had no idea what I was thinking.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, anyway.”
“What doesn’t matter?”
“If he shoots me.”
I asked, “What? Why?”
He scoffed. “Because I’m bulletproof.”
A sharp pain hit me right in the chest for two reasons: (1) No one was bulletproof. Alex wasn’t, and unless Luke was secretly some sort of superhero, he wasn’t bulletproof, either. And (2) The thought of Luke getting shot sent a surge of panic down my spine.
Yep. I’m definitely screwed.
I whispered, “No one is bulletproof, Luke.”
The air around us swirled with tension, especially when Luke didn’t say anything.
He stopped on the sidewalk, facing the old, moss-covered benches of a nearby church.
It was one of my favorite places in New Bern.
It was right in the middle of town, the ground lined with eroding bricks, and there was a little spot up front where the pastor would stand for outside sermons or weddings.
I used to imagine myself getting married there, in the middle of a spring day, with bright yellow flowers blooming all around.
I slowly stepped away from Luke and his rigid posture.
I ran my fingers along the wooden benches, wondering if I would ever find someone to marry.
I was only twenty-five, but with JoJo engaged and all my other friends in serious, long-term relationships, it often made me wonder if I was always going to be alone. I felt like a loner.
Maybe I would end up like Ms. Deacon.
Maybe I would get a cat—or ten.
I could feel Luke’s presence behind me before he said anything. The space between us was bouncing with electricity.
“I know better than anyone that no one is bulletproof.”
I didn’t turn around. Instead, I crept farther down the aisle between the benches and took a seat.
I didn’t want to prod him. I knew that he knew no one was bulletproof.
I knew he was joking when he’d said that a few minutes ago.
And I could tell by the way his voice lacked its usual dominance that he had some demons buried deep inside him.
If he wanted me to know, he could tell me.
If not, then we would stay here in silence for as long as he needed.
I was fine with just sitting here while he sorted through his memories.
I was just going to make sure to sit in this exact spot so he knew that someone was here for him.
“I was on a deployment before I got stationed here. Did you know that?”
I nodded my head as he took a seat between me and the jar full of grape jelly.
“I came home early from the deployment because of a situation I was in.”
Luke adjusted himself on the bench, squeezing his fists together so tightly that I could see the white of his knuckles.
Our only light came from the corner street lamp a few yards away, and I almost wished it was turned off.
Sometimes the dark made it easier to talk about difficult things.
It felt like a security blanket. Like no one could touch you.
“I was out on a mission with three other guys. One of them was my good friend, Zach. We were goofing off, just patrolling the borders. Things weren’t really bad near our camp.
It was always worse for the guys who went out in the Humvees.
That’s why when the bullets started flying our way, we were shocked. ”
I wanted to move closer to him, but the way his voice seemed so far away, even though we were only a foot apart, made me stay put. I didn’t want to disrupt the recollection of the memories he was digging into.
“It happened so fast, and I think about it constantly. Like it’s on replay.” He paused for a few seconds. “I yelled at the guys to get down, but as soon as I dropped to the ground, I saw the blood.”
Images flew throughout my brain…scary, gory, bloody images. Like the ones I’d seen in my high school history textbooks. Luke stopped talking, and after I got the images out of my head, I finally gathered the nerve to ask, “Whose blood?”
He looked over at me, shocked, like he couldn’t believe that I was sitting here listening to him. He bit his lip, showing off his bright, white teeth and said, “Zach’s. He jumped right in front of the bullet that was headed for me.”
My heart ached. Tears pooled in my eyes, but I was quick to blink them away.
I moved the jelly over to my other side and climbed right into his lap.
One of his arms wrapped around my waist; the other draped over my lap.
I cuddled his head onto my chest and gave his forehead a quick kiss, savoring the smell of his shampoo.
“I wanted it to be me.”
I was quick to reply. “Don’t say that, Luke.”
His arm squeezed me tighter. I had to fight the feeling of lust as he pulled my body closer to his.
“But I wanted it to be me. I wished it had been.”
I pulled back, putting my hand under his strong chin to look up at me. “Why would you say that?” I searched the entirety of his face and watched as several emotions moved almost imperceptibly across his eyes.
“I—” He looked away. “I had just gotten some bad news the day before, and in that moment, I hated him for taking the bullet for me. It should have been me. It would have made things a lot easier, Cammie.”
His voice lowered at the end, and an unfathomable amount of hurt and anguish hit me.
I hated what he had said, especially because Alex took the brunt of an IED to save others, and as much as I wanted him back home with me, I recognized that what he did was selfless and so incredibly brave.
If I ever heard one of those men who he had saved a year ago say that he wished it had been him…
I would want to smack him. I would want to shake him and tell him that Alex died so he could live on and do the things that this world needed him to do.
The world needed those men for some reason, and they had better not waste their time wishing about things they couldn’t change.
“Let me ask you something,” I said, voice full of courage. He looked at me quickly, eyes squinting. “Have you saved anyone since then? Or done something to prevent someone else from getting hurt?”
Luke’s mouth dropped a little, and I watched his gaze scan over the old bricks lying on the ground.
He finally answered, “Yes.”
I whispered, “Have you ever thought that Zach died, only for you to be able to save someone else?”
I saw the understanding form on his face. It looked as if relief washed over him just like a downpour in the middle of summer.
If only I’d had the courage to ask him what news he’d gotten that made him want the bullet to hit him instead of his friend. But I didn’t have that much courage. No way.
When my gaze made its way back to his, I saw him blink once.
Then twice.
Then three times.
Then…he looked right at my lips, longingly, and heat blared from down below. I had the urge to squeeze my legs together and place my lips on his. But I didn’t. I stayed completely unmoving, afraid that if I did move, I’d do something that I’d regret later down the road.
He must have had the same thought, because he looked away quickly, shaking his head.
I climbed off his lap, desperate to change the suffocating tension around us. I placed my hands on my hips, and with an ornery smile plastered on my face, I asked, “Are you ready to go prank the ass who cheated on me?”
His smile was so big that the corners of his mouth reached the width of his face. He picked up the jelly, hair-removal cream, and chocolate chips in one quick movement and said, “Let’s go, Doc.”
And we were back to being us. Whatever the hell that was.