Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
On the way over to my house, I made sure that the cat underneath Luke’s porch had made it through the hurricane safely.
It had, thankfully. If it had died, it definitely wouldn’t have died underneath there.
Our street was lined with fallen leaves and several tree limbs, but from what I could see, there wasn’t any excessive damage.
Both of our houses looked okay. The yards were a mess, but it could have been much, much worse.
I ran into my house with a little pep in my step despite the awkward movements I had to make because my vagina felt like it was three times its normal size. I secretly liked it, though. It just kept reminding me of last night and the most amazing time I had ever had.
Luke took my body and treated it like it was gold. Every touch was full of caring caresses. He knew how to take care of my body, and I liked it. Scratch that, I didn’t just like it…I loved it.
After taking a quick shower and throwing on some jeans and a T-shirt, I was on my way to grab some food and then start cleaning up my yard. The power was still out, and my phone was as dead as a doorknob, so I would have to wait to contact my mom and JoJo to let them know I was okay.
The second I put the untoasted strawberry Pop-Tart up to my mouth, I heard my door open. I glanced into the long hallway, and a smile overtook my face. Butterflies lifted me up so high I could have touched heaven.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as Luke walked down the hallway to stand in front of me.
His eyes bounced back and forth between mine, and I found myself doing the same. Neither of us said a word. We only exchanged hungering looks with one another. I didn’t realize it at first, but I was actually holding my breath.
“You know how we said that last night was a one-time thing?” he asked right before his tongue darted out and licked his lips.
I replied by nodding my head very slowly, all while staring at his mouth. I longed for it. I wanted it on my mouth.
“Can we maybe make it a two-time thing? Or a three-time thing?” My eyes left his mouth as I peered up at him. I already knew my answer was yes.
“Let’s just make it an all-the-time thing,” I whispered, and a devious look overtook Luke’s face. He reached for me quickly, causing me to drop my Pop-Tart on the floor at the same time that he scooped me up.
I squealed, “What are you doing?”
“Like you have to ask?” He started to walk me back to my bedroom, my legs flopping on his front as my hair hung down over his back. “I’m taking you to bed, Cammie.”
I squealed again and cackled with laughter as he threw me on my bed and went to claim me, once again .
Luke was gone by the time I woke up the next morning.
We had spent the entire day and night together, tangled in my sheets.
We ate cold Pop-Tarts for energy, played truth or dare (*kinky truth or dare*), and spent all night laughing at one another.
Luke made me laugh, and he made me laugh hard.
He was funny, even more so when he wasn’t picking on me.
After having sex for the third time since the previous night, we rinsed off in my overly small shower, and then tumbled into my bed and fell into a deep sleep.
This morning, as I stood over my steaming coffee, waiting for my phone to regain some battery (thankful that the power came back on), I realized I felt liberated.
I felt like I was alive again. I was actually looking forward to something.
I hadn’t looked forward to something for so long.
My life had been on repeat, just getting through each day, and I hadn’t even realized that I was a complete zombie.
Luke had somehow put the life right back into me.
I grabbed my phone the second I saw it finally come to life.
I wanted to make sure to let everyone know that things were okay before I went outside and started to clean up the yard.
I first texted my dad (yes, maybe sex with Luke had softened my bitchy outer shell…
whatever ), then I shot my mom a quick email explaining that I was fine and so was the house.
Then, I smiled and dialed JoJo’s number, excited to tell her about my night. She would be proud, and just as elated as I was.
She answered on the first ring, and I giggled, realizing that I was literally prancing around my kitchen; that was how excited I was. I was dancing like a freaking lunatic.
It was JoJo’s surprised voice that had me stopping in my tracks. Holy shit, I hadn’t been this happy in…at least a year. Th at said something, right? I was already finding myself bending the rules for Luke. It was like sex with him was a cure or something.
I was pretty sure it could cure anything at this point.
JoJo laughed. “What the hell is going on over there, Cammie?”
I laughed, too. “Oh, Sista. You are never going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”
“Is everything okay? The house?”
I pulled out the bag of chocolate chips from my pantry and ripped it open, laughing again when they spilled all over my island. “Oh yeah, it’s fine. You guys are good, right?” I asked, getting ready to spill the good news.
“Yeah, the hurricane didn’t even touch us at Ryan’s parents’.”
“Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the really exciting shit.” I started to make a really pitiful rendition of a drumroll, and JoJo laughed even harder. “LUKE AND I DID IT!” I exclaimed.
“Did what?”
“We did it. The deed. We did the deed…three times! He buttered my biscuits, and let me tell you, they were buttered to perfection.” I sighed.
“JoJo, I have no idea why I didn’t take your advice before.
Luke and I are…” I couldn’t even come up with words.
“See, I’m speechless! That’s how good it was!
” I was basically yelling at this point, but I slowly stopped cleaning up the chocolate chips when there was silence on the other end of the phone.
I pulled it away from my ear, seeing that JoJo’s name was still on the screen.
“JoJo?” I asked, making sure she was still there.
She cleared her throat. “Yeah…uh. ”
My heart started to descend to my lower stomach “What?”
“Um,” JoJo started to stutter. Nothing good ever came from when she stuttered. “Cammie—"
“What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
I could hear her shutting a door in the background. “Ryan told me last night that a few guys were being pulled in for support for some troops in Afghanistan.”
My stomach ached painfully. “Is Ryan going?” I basically screamed, “He just got back!”
Her voice was low. “Ryan’s not going.”
“Oh, okay. Well, then, why are you being weir—” My mouth fell open, and my eyes traveled to my kitchen window, over in the direction of Luke’s.
“Oh…” I started, but she interrupted me.
“I thought he would have told you. They found out days ago; Ryan just mentioned it last night in passing.”
I was silent, at a loss for words. He didn’t tell me. He didn’t tell me he was leaving. For how long? Is it going to be dangerous? I rolled my eyes at the thought. Of course it’ll be dangerous. It’s a fucking war zone. I slapped my hand onto my forehead, cursing myself.
And just like that, all the giddiness and happiness I had felt seconds ago disappeared so fast I couldn’t have held onto it if I’d tried.
He didn’t tell me. He fucked me senseless, sank his claws into me, knowing he was leaving, and he just didn’t tell me.
He didn’t tell me.
He didn’t fucking tell me!
I busied myself with cleaning up my yard for the next two hours.
Sticks, broken branches, and lone leaves spilled all over the place.
It was a good distraction, but as soon as I heard the rumbling of Luke’s engine and saw him hopping out of that sleek car with a lazy smile on his face, pointed right in my direction, I dropped the bundle of sticks in my arms and marched right up to him.
He was leaning against the hood of his car, probably ready to spew some sexual comment, but when he saw the look on my face, his smile fell.
“Cammie?” His voice held an uncertainty in it.
I crossed my arms, breathing deeply before I spoke. “Were you going to tell me?”
My face stayed even, and my eyes stayed dry. I didn’t want to give away too much emotion. I wasn’t very tough on the inside, but at least I could be tough on the outside.
Luke stood on the sidewalk, scanning my face, no doubt trying to come up with a justifiable excuse.
“When do you leave?” I asked with such a coldness in my tone that it surprised even me. His jaw visibly clenched.
He croaked, “Two days,” and then he looked away. He knew this would be an issue for me, regardless of whether we slept together or not. I considered him a big part of my life, and now that I had officially recognized that he had weaseled his way into my heart, I was doomed.
I laughed loudly, and it sounded just as sarcastic as I’d hoped.
“Don’t act like that, Cammie.” He propped his hands up on his hips, just below his dark T-shirt.
I spanned my arms out wide, not giving two shits if the neighbors were about to watch us throw down, because that was exactly what we were going to do.
“Don’t act like what? Mad that you fucked me senseless THREE times, and then failed to tell me you were leaving for a deployment in TWO days?” I propped my hands on my hips, feeling the anger form all around me.
“How could you? How could you not tell me, for starters, and then act like nothing was wrong the last two days? What the hell, Luke!” I was full-on yelling now. Even the birds were listening in the trees, munching on popcorn, enjoying our little daytime drama.
Luke rolled his eyes, and I could sense the irritation rolling off his shoulders. “I hardly thought it mattered. You were the one who pointed out that it was”—he made air quotes with his fingers—“a one-time thing.”
I rolled my eyes right back at him. “Cut the bullshit, Luke. We both knew it wasn’t a one-time thing. Plus, we kind of abolished that yesterday when we made it a three-time thing!”
He groaned, taking his hands and rubbing his face harshly. “Well…”
I put my hand up to shush him. “Why would you do that?” My voice came out weak, and I could feel the anger slowly slipping away. And we all knew what came after anger: pain.
“I’ve had some other things on my mind, Cammie.”
I stepped back, pushing my arms out questioningly. “Like what?” My eyebrows furrowed, expecting to hear some elaborate answer.
“Just stuff…”
I laughed again, harsher this time. “Oh, great. Now we’re being cryptic. Whatever, Luke.”
I started to walk away (okay, I stomped away like a three-year-old), and he called after me. “Cammie, come on.”
I spun around quickly, finding him on my heels. “There is no ‘Cammie, come on.’ Leave me alone, Luke. After all, it hardly matters, right?” I threw his words right back at him, and I saw a glimpse of pain through those light-green eyes.
I hoped he felt just as betrayed as I did.
I ran up my steps and through my front door and slammed it shut, rattling the picture frames along my wall.
Luke yelled through the door, “So this is how we’re going to leave things? Like this?”
I yelled right back, nose touching the door. “Yep!” Then, I turned around and rested my back on the door, sliding myself slowly to the cool floor, willing the tears to stay away.
His voice was softer now—hurt, even. “I’m sorry, Cammie. I should have told you sooner.”
I sniffled, pushing myself off the floor and walking all the way to my bedroom. I glanced at the photo of Alex on my dresser before collapsing onto my bed and crying my eyes out.
The sucky thing was, I had no one to blame but myself.