Chapter 20
TWENTY
When I pulled up to the Marine Corps base, the shiny, black gates were surrounded by men and women in military uniforms, black rifles strapped on their backs and at their sides.
Beastly military German Shepherds sat nicely beside them, just waiting for the wrong person to drive up so they could strike.
I remembered once, when I was younger, begging my father to let me pet one of them.
He had answered sharply with, “They will bite your hand off.” And ever since then, I’d been terrified of them.
They looked friendly, though, with their tongues sticking out of their mouths like they were actually smiling.
I showed the military police my military ID (definite perk of having a Marine for a father) and sped through the open gates of the base. Everything was cleaned up from the small hurricane that had come through. The town was back to its normal beauty.
My foot pushed down on the accelerator as my eyes bounced to the several small, gravel side roads that I knew the military police liked to park on to catch people speeding. I was hoping the speed demons were on my side today so I could get away with doing fifty in a thirty-five-mph speed zone.
Once I found the giant, white buses glinting in the early morning sun, I felt my stomach clench.
The last time I’d seen those white buses was when I had said goodbye to Alex and the rest of his unit.
This was such a familiar sight. I’d said goodbye to so many people in my life, but this time was different. Much different.
I pulled into a tiny parking spot between two minivans and took a few deep breaths, inhaling the new-car air freshener scent trapped inside my car.
I clasped my eyes shut at the digital clock on my dash that read 8:37 a.m. I puffed my cheeks anxiously and exited the car, rising up on my tiptoes to scan through the many Marines dressed in their deployment uniforms, surrounded by their families, mustering up the courage for their final goodbyes.
I walked a little farther, and my eyes quickly found a striking inconsistency.
In the midst of families clamoring around their military members dressed head to toe in deployment gear, there was a short, bald man in a sleek, black, tailored suit.
That was why I locked onto him; he stood out sharply.
My gaze lingered on him a little longer before I moved a bit closer and saw the person whose hand he was shaking: Luke’s .
My head inched to the left, wondering who the hell that man was, but that was just the thing about this whole situation: I was so wrapped up in Luke, yet I didn’t really know much about him.
Sure, I knew what his dick felt like inside me (amazing). I knew that he came from South Carolina. That he’d almost gotten shot on his last deployment… and that was about it.
The closer I got to Luke, the more my ears stood at attention, trying to listen to what he and the man were discussing.
I heard the bald man mumble as soon as I stepped up behind Luke’s back. “I know how to reach you if we need anything else. We’ll get this taken care of, Lucas.”
Hmm. Interesting . As soon as the man peered to the side of Luke’s tall frame, he spotted me and gave a faint smile before dropping Luke’s hand and walking away.
“Who was that?” I asked, and Luke whipped around fast.
He paused, and his lip twitched. I walked a little closer to him, trying to gauge his reaction.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come, Doc…” he said slowly, deliberately.
I cast my glance away from his stare. “I wasn’t sure I would, either.”
My heart felt weak in my chest as I took in the crowd: small children clinging to their military-dressed parent, a woman clutching the dear life out of her husband’s hand, another loved one wiping away the tears that were streaming down her face.
It made me feel physically ill. I wished saying goodbye was something that got easier with time, but it never did. The worry always stayed right there with you, no matter what.
Luke took a step forward, his camouflaged hat casting shadows near the brim of his nose. We stood close, scanning each other’s faces. I could feel myself moving the extra few inches it took to get to him.
Once I did, I grabbed his hands hanging down by his sides, interlocking our fingers. It’s all or nothing, Cammie.
“I couldn’t not come say goodbye…” I started, and his eyes dipped just a fraction.
I looked away, feeling my outer sh ell break into several pieces, all of which were crumbling to the ground.
“I feel really silly saying this, Luke.” I cleared my throat.
“But… I like you.” I let out a small laugh.
“I mean, I more than like you, but saying ‘I like-like you’ sounds completely ridiculous and immature.”
His low chuckle warmed me from the inside out, and then both of our smiles fell when we heard a rough voice yell, “Last call. Get on the bus, Devils!” The person barked the last statement out, and I practically jumped.
Luke swallowed and brought his face up to mine once more. “You know, this is my fourth deployment and”—his eyes moved to my mouth—“this is the first one that I have had to physically make myself get on that bus.”
My smile was barely there as I kept the tears hidden.
I only nodded my head when his hands found their way onto my face, cupping the sides of my cheeks.
I stretched upward and wrapped my small hands around his wrists.
Luke brought my forehead to his mouth, planting a small, tender kiss there, and I melted.
My heart ached in my chest, and I whispered, “You’ll write me?”
“As much as I can.”
I nodded again, my forehead still pressed to his mouth.
“Be safe, okay?” My voice was barely loud enough for him to hear, and I knew he had to go board the bus any second now. He was already pushing the limits.
Suddenly, he backed away, standing an arm’s length away from me. His mouth curved up on the side, and then he held up his fingers, making a perfect square and closing one eye like he was snapping a picture.
I laughed. “What are you doing?”
“Remembering your face…” Then he made a snapping sound with his mouth and winked .
“See ya, Doc.”
I bit my lip, and my eyes traveled to his. One last kiss would be totally cliché in this moment, but I didn’t care.
I ran toward him and reached up on my tiptoes, planting a soft kiss on his lips.
It surprised him, and I grinned, stepping backwards.
He flashed me a smile, showcasing all his perfect teeth, and bent down to pick up his hunter-green duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he walked to the bus.
He was the last one to board, and I continued to stare at the white, obnoxious vehicle, waiting to hear the engine roar to life.
I scanned the windows until I saw the glass sliding down near the back of the bus. Luke’s head popped out and he yelled, “Take care of my house and car! The keys are under the front mat.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes, giving him a thumb’s up. Families were waving all around me and hooting and hollering at their loved ones to be safe.
As soon as the bus was seconds from pulling away, I yelled, “I’m not paying your bills, Soldier!”
I watched him laugh, and he yelled back, “All my mail is forwarded to my mom’s. Relax!”
I laughed again, and then they took off. The reality of the situation washed over me quickly. I put my fingers on my mouth, kissing them and then blowing it toward him. He gave me a curt nod, and then I felt my heart drop to the cool, black pavement.
The next morning, after my shift ended at the hospital, I slithered into my warm bed, cuddling up with Luke’s shirt, taking a huge whiff of his smell. He wasn’t in Afghanistan yet…I knew that. But he would be soon, and th en he would be faced with all kinds of obstacles. Dangerous obstacles.
I also knew he was a strong man and an amazing Marine and leader.
He would be fine. He would have to be. At least, that was what I kept telling myself, and that was what I would continue to tell myself until he was back on American soil, safe and sound.
It was what I had to keep telling myself, because if I had let my mind wander to anything else, it would have been like a swift kick to the groin. Staying positive was key.
I hoped.
My laptop pinged from my dresser, and I sat straight up in bed, blonde hair flying past my face. I quickly crawled over my covers, planted my bare feet on the floor, and rushed over to it.
My hands moved so fast that I quadruple-clicked the email icon flashing in the lower, right-hand corner.
My heart was thundering as fast as a racehorse in my chest, and my stomach was rapidly filling with nervous jitters.
The more I stood there, waiting for my computer to load, the more they jittered around.
Could it be him already?
But how would he have gotten my email address?
Usually, what happened when a military member deployed was that the Family Readiness Officer would send out their assigned contact information (email included) to those who wanted it, per the military member’s request. They typically had to fill out a form before they deployed, listing the names and phone numbers of those who wanted to email them while overseas.
So, it’s probably not him . It’s probably just an ad from Victoria’s Secret.
But my stomach flipped when I saw the word “Unidentified” in my inbox. I swallowed and double- clicked the email. My foot pounded the floor uncontrollably, waiting for it to finally pop up, and when it did, I squealed:
From: (Unidentified) [email protected]
Subject: Soldier Boy hearts Doctor
Body: I like-like you too, Cammie.
Well, it was nice knowin’ ya, heart.