CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“Come hang with us,” Rori said as Kelsey stepped into the kitchen when she returned from studying in the library. She’d desperately needed a change of scenery. “We’re just eating, watching TV and playing games.”

Kelsey needed the distraction, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to hang out with Zane. She was so discouraged with life, and it made her just want to retreat from everyone and everything.

She needed a job, and yet, she hadn’t managed to find one. She’d applied to all the restaurants in town, to no avail. Now she’d moved on to applying at places where she probably didn’t have the necessary experience.

Her savings were rapidly depleting, even though she tried to be careful with how she spent her money. She was just lucky that Rori and Lee weren’t charging her rent. If she’d had to pay for a place to stay, she would have been homeless at this point.

“Wilder and Lexi are bringing some East Indian food for all of us.”

“Who else is coming?” Kelsey asked, though it wouldn’t determine whether she hung out with them or not.

“Wilder and Lexi, Carisa and Jackson, and Janessa and Will.”

“Okay. I’ll join you.”

“That’s great!” Rori said with a broad smile. “We’ll probably eat in about half an hour.”

“I’m just going to run up to my room.”

She climbed the stairs, then headed for her room. They’d spent the earlier part of day doing yard work, and she hadn’t showered before heading to the library. She took a quick shower and washed her hair, then got dressed in a pair of soft cotton shorts and a T-shirt. If they were going to be lounging around, she wanted to be comfortable.

By the time she got back downstairs, the food had arrived, along with the rest of the people Rori had named. They were busy setting different dishes of food on the counter, and it all smelled delicious.

Indian food was something that she and Zane had eaten fairly regularly when he was too tired to cook a meal for them. Her favorite was butter chicken, along with rice and naan bread. She hoped that they’d ordered plenty of everything.

“Hi, Kels,” Carisa said as she headed toward her. After giving Kelsey a tight hug, she pulled her toward the others. “Come get some food.”

Once they were gathered around the island counter, Lee prayed for the meal. when he said amen , Rori handed out plates. Kelsey glanced at Zane, then took two.

Over the past few days, they’d had a couple of brief conversations about the state of things between them. The doctor had been right that they could fall in love again… if only Zane wasn’t in love with someone else.

Still, she’d been helping Zane when she could. It was a way to soothe her need to be with him and to take care of him. She wanted it to be a reminder for Zane of the relationship that existed between them.

Without even thinking, after she’d taken what she wanted, she began to fill Zane’s plate with the stuff he always ordered when they had that type of food.

She happened to glance at Zane and found him watching her with a lifted brow. “We had Indian food fairly regularly. This is what you always wanted. Has that changed?”

Zane shook his head. “Nope. That’s what I like.”

Kelsey quickly finished loading his plate, then carried both down to the basement. Soon, the others joined them. Wilder and Janessa were having an argument, apparently disagreeing on the best version of a show that had several different options.

“You’re crazy,” Janessa said. “He wasn’t the best lead of the three series.”

“What are you talking about?” Lee asked.

Wilder named two TV shows that were connected. “We don’t agree on which cast was the best.”

“You siblings find the weirdest things to argue over,” Jackson said as he settled on one of the loveseats with Carisa.

“Wasn’t one of those the show that Sarah was an extra in?” Lee asked.

“Yeah.” Zane cleared his throat. “She had a small role in one episode of the medical one.”

Kelsey’s stomach clenched, and any desire to eat fled. She recalled that when they’d been trying to find a show to stream, he had quickly squashed her suggestion to watch that show, saying he wasn’t interested in medical drama. Now, though, she was thinking that he probably hadn’t wanted to watch it with her because he would have seen his ex.

He could have just told her why he didn’t want to watch it. But the problem was, he’d never told her about Sarah. They’d briefly touched on previous relationships, but they’d both said that they hadn’t had any super serious ones. Zane had lied. She knew that now, and it was hard to be reminded of that fact.

Stubbornly, she clung to the belief that, despite concealing his previous relationship with Sarah, he truly had loved her. But there were moments when it was really hard to keep that belief alive.

Rather than react to the comments about Sarah, Kelsey put a forkful of food into her mouth. She was glad that she’d always been able to hide her emotions, thanks to her parents.

The irony was that being more open about her emotions was something she’d been working on with Zane. Now she was having to regress in order to protect herself from him.

“Well, we’re not watching a TV show tonight,” Rori announced. “Let’s discuss what movie we should watch.”

Kelsey suspected that Rori was saying that as a way to change the subject, and she appreciated it more than words could say.

Everyone seemed to be making the assumption that Kelsey was aware of Zane’s previous relationship with Sarah, and she’d never corrected them. She didn’t want them to know that perhaps her relationship with Zane hadn’t been quite as strong or as transparent as she’d thought it was.

As the discussion went on around her, Kelsey ate her food, though it was the last thing she wanted to do.

The only ones there with a kid were Will and Janessa, and they said that since they’d probably have to leave the soonest, they’d rather play games. In the end, they decided to leave the movie for later and play some games first, once they were done eating.

When they’d finished eating, she helped Rori gather up the dirty plates. Zane had fallen quiet after the conversation about the TV show, and he remained slumped in the corner of the couch. She wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to bail on the whole evening.

It’s what she wanted to do.

But Zane didn’t bail, so neither did Kelsey.

Instead, she helped Rori and Lee carry down cups of coffee and some cookies. While they’d been upstairs, someone had set up an easel with a big white flip chart on it.

“Oh no,” Lee groused. “They’ve decided on Pictionary. I’m doomed.”

“You can’t draw?” Kelsey asked.

“Not very well.”

They ended up dividing into couples, which, to Kelsey’s mind, put her and Zane at a disadvantage. Neither of them seemed to have much enthusiasm, and they didn’t have the connection they once had that would have allowed them to communicate as easily as the other couples could.

Will and Janessa were up first. Will tossed out guesses as Janessa drew, and their son jumped between them, yelling out whatever Will said. It was actually kind of funny to watch the couple and their son. Kelsey thought that Will was intentionally making bad guesses in order to wind his wife up. And when Timmy would reinforce that bad guess at the top of his lungs, Janessa’s frustration with her husband would double.

Just before their time ran out, Will made the right guess, resulting in Janessa giving him a fierce look. “You did that on purpose.”

“I got it right,” Will said with a shrug.

“The goal is to get as many as possible in our allotted time.” Janessa plopped down on the floor. “That’s how we always play it.”

“Next time,” Will promised.

Timothy climbed onto Janessa’s lap and patted her cheek. “Next time, Mama.”

Janessa sighed. “Promise, baby?”

“Promise.” Everyone laughed as both Will and Timmy responded to Janessa.

Will leaned forward to grab a couple of cookies from the plate on the coffee table and gave them to Janessa and Timmy.

“We’re next,” Carisa said, popping up from the couch with surprising ease, then turning to offer Jackson her hand. He grinned as he took her hand, but instead of letting her pull him up, Jackson tugged her into his lap. Carisa let out a laugh. “Babe, come on. I want to win.”

“Alright.” Jackson set Carisa up on her feet, then got off the loveseat himself. Rubbing his hands together, he said, “Let’s show them how it’s done.”

As Kelsey expected, the pair’s turn was hilarious. Jackson apparently didn’t share his wife’s desire to win, because his guesses as she drew were as crazy as Will’s. Even so, they didn’t do as badly as Will and Janessa had and ended their turn with three correct guesses. And Carisa wasn’t anywhere near as upset with Jackson as Janessa had been with Will.

When they were done, Lexi and Wilder took a turn. Wilder was drawing, and Lexi did a much better job of guessing, which meant they were ahead with four correct guesses.

Rori and Lee took the lead after their turn, with Lee getting six correct.

“Kels and Zane, it’s your turn now,” Rori announced.

Zane groaned. “I’ve never liked this game.”

Kelsey wasn’t surprised that Zane wasn’t keen to play. His mood throughout the week had swung between subdued and testy. He hadn’t been happy, so it stood to reason he wasn’t excited to play the game the way his siblings were.

“I’m actually happy to just observe,” Kelsey said, no more eager than Zane to have to participate.

Rori frowned at them. “I guess you can sit this out.”

“Thank you,” Kelsey said, relaxing back into the cushions of the couch.

Thankfully, her and Zane’s refusal to take part didn’t put a damper on the evening. It appeared that the siblings were well used to keeping the party going, even if one of them wasn’t in the party mood.

Would she and Zane have been active participants if they lived closer? Or would the family’s opinion of her have kept them from being invited?

Since no one had been outright hateful to her—and Zane’s parents had actually tried to speak with her—Kelsey was beginning to wonder about the whole estrangement. Was it possible that Zane was the one who hadn’t wanted them to be around her?

Already, his siblings had let things slip about Sarah, and they had clearly thought that Zane would marry her. Since he hadn’t told her about Sarah, he might have been worried they would spill the beans.

That revelation left her in an emotional downward spiral. Even if Zane had loved her before the accident, it clearly hadn’t been as much as he loved Sarah.

Even though she’d decided to stick it out with Zane, the idea of leaving was getting more and more appealing. But she had to know she’d given it her all.

The next morning, Kelsey contemplated skipping church. It was a struggle to be around people when she felt the way she did. She didn’t even want to be around Zane.

But still, she crawled out of bed and got ready to go. Zane was waiting in the front hall when she got down there.

“Good morning,” she said.

“I wasn’t sure you were going to go this morning,” Zane said after greeting her.

“I wasn’t sure either.” She glanced at him. “I wasn’t sure you would be going either.”

Zane shrugged as he leaned forward on his crutches. “Habit, I guess.”

It certainly hadn’t been his habit prior to the accident. But she had come to realize that at some point early on in his adult life, his faith had been hugely important to him.

“What’s your reason for going?” Zane asked.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I don’t really have anywhere else to be, I guess.”

She had slept in and had no time for breakfast or coffee, so she hoped that her stomach didn’t start growling during the service.

“Do you want to go in my car?” she asked. “Or wait to go with Rori and Lee?”

“We can go in your car,” he said. “And then we can leave more quickly after the service is done.”

“Sounds like a plan.” She pulled her keys from her purse. “Off we go.”

“I’ll text Lee once we’re in the car to let them know.”

Together, they left the house and climbed into her car.

A couple of minutes into the drive, Zane said, “Lee texted back that they wouldn’t take it personally.”

Kelsey chuckled. “If they weren’t running late, we would have been at church already.”

Once they got to the church, Kelsey let Zane off at the front doors, then went to park the car. When she returned, she found him still waiting outside the doors for her.

“Don’t assume anything,” she murmured to herself before she came into earshot.

As she approached him, he turned, and together they made their way up to the doors. Kelsey opened one of them and waited for Zane to go into the foyer before following him.

They greeted a few people as they made their way across the foyer to the sanctuary. Zane paused at the back of the sanctuary, and Kelsey thought perhaps they’d take seats in one of the rear rows. Instead, he led her to an outside aisle, then to a row midway down where Carisa and Jackson were seated.

Kelsey scooted into the row to sit beside Carisa, while Zane followed her.

“Good morning!” Carisa greeted them with a big smile. “How are you today?”

“I’m fine.” And technically, she was. As long as she didn’t think about the mess her life was currently in. “How’re you?”

They talked for a few minutes, then Lee and Rori joined them, sliding into the row beside Zane just as the worship team began to play.

Kelsey was getting used to the format of the service now, and even some of the songs were becoming familiar. She enjoyed listening to Will’s dad’s sermons. What he said made a lot of sense and wasn’t confusing to her, even though she didn’t have a background in religious messages.

“My sermon this morning is inspired by personal events,” Pastor Kennedy said after he’d greeted them from his place behind the podium. “Today is my thirty-fifth anniversary with my lovely, beautiful, amazing wife, Alice. This whole week, I’ve thought a lot about the past thirty-five years and the ups and downs we have experienced. This morning, I want to share what I’ve learned about relationships during that time. The romantic one I have with Alice, as well as the ones I have with my children, my family, fellow Christians, and other people in the world.”

Kelsey wondered if she and Zane would be together in thirty-five years. Prior to the accident, she would have said yes, they’d make it. Now, however, she wasn’t even sure they’d make it to their first anniversary.

“The one thing I have found is that love must be the foundation of the interactions we have,” Pastor Kennedy said. “There are many types of love, but when we look at the Bible’s definition of love, it can be applied to all of them.”

Words appeared on the screen at the front of the sanctuary. Kelsey read through them, feeling the words challenge her heart.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t boast. Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not selfish. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t rejoice in evil. Love rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

The words, every single one of them, pressed against the wall she’d placed around her love for Zane. Especially the last two lines. Love endures all things, and love never fails.

In contemplating walking away from Zane, she wasn’t enduring all things. A terrible thing had happened—there was no denying that—and it would demand a lot of her to stay, but it seemed that was what God wanted.

But did she care what God wanted?

Never before had she thought about whether the decisions she made were what God would want her to make. She’d made her choices based on what worked best for her in fulfilling the plans she had for her life.

Was she willing to now give God more significance in her life?

As the pastor spoke, he shared personal experiences he’d had with love and even confessing to the areas where he’d failed. Like being as patient as he should have been.

“The love talked about in first Corinthians can seem too extreme. Too impossible a standard to achieve, but if we allow God to love through us, it becomes possible.”

The whole concept was foreign to her. The idea of trusting God to help her love better.

“God set an example for us when He sent His Son to die for our sins. He did that out of His love for us. If He’s willing to do that, why wouldn’t He want us to succeed in loving others the way He has loved them?”

Kelsey glanced over at Zane, thinking she might find him dozing off. But rather, Zane was focused on the pastor, his expression serious as he seemed to be paying attention to what the man was saying.

She wished she could read his mind, but there was no chance of that. Given what she’d learned over the past few weeks, she was beginning to wish that she could have read Zane’s mind pre-accident so that she could have known what he thought about Sarah and how he really felt about her.

It was hard not feeling like she was his second choice. That if he had the opportunity, he’d rather be with Sarah. From what she’d picked up from things his family had said, Sarah had been the one to end the relationship, and she’d left Zane heartbroken.

Could she love Zane the way the Bible said she should, even knowing all of that?

The question lingered in her mind even after the service had ended.

“Ready to head out?” she asked Zane once the service was over. “Or did you want to hang around and catch a ride with Lee and Rori?”

“Nope. I’d rather go with you.”

With that plan in place, they made their way out of the sanctuary, following behind Lee, Rori, Jackson, and Carisa. As it turned out, Lee and Rori were ready to leave right away, too. People were coming by the house for a barbecue, so they needed to get home to prepare for that.

As usual, her first instinct was to opt out of it. However, Kelsey knew she couldn’t. So when they got to the house, she immediately jumped in to help Rori and Lee prepare for the meal.

“Are you sticking around this time?” Rori asked as she handed Kelsey a stack of paper plates to put on a large tray.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Rori set a plastic bag with napkins in it on the tray. “I think people are warming up to you.”

Lee and Zane had gone out onto the deck to start up the barbecue, so while it was just her and Rori in the kitchen, Kelsey said, “Do you think Zane needs to see Sarah?”

Rori’s eyebrows rose, and she faced Kelsey over the expanse of the island counter. “What do you think that would accomplish?”

“Closure for him?” Kelsey paused. “Maybe?”

“I suppose you could suggest it to him. It could be he’s thought the same thing, but hasn’t been sure how to bring it up.”

“Actually, I think it might be better if Lee suggested it to him.”

“But he may need to hear it from you.”

Kelsey sighed. “I’m not sure I’m capable of encouraging him to contact a woman he’s had a serious relationship with.”

“I understand that,” Rori said. “But I really do think Zane needs to hear this suggestion from you.”

“What do I need to hear from Kelsey?”

Kelsey turned toward the back door, realizing that they’d been so focused on their conversation that they hadn’t heard Zane come in. She’d just assumed that he’d stay outside since, because of his crutches, there wasn’t much he could do inside.

“Perhaps you should have a conversation,” Rori said. “Just the two of you.”

“Now?” Zane asked, his brow furrowed.

“After lunch,” Kelsey said, needing time to prepare herself for this particular conversation.

“Am I going to like this conversation?”

Kelsey shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Zane stared hard at Kelsey, looking like he was going to press her for more information. But before he could say anything else, Janessa and Will arrived with their son.

“Later,” Zane said, then turned to greet his sister.

A mass of nerves took up residence in Kelsey’s stomach, but she tried to ignore it as she pitched in to help get the meal ready.

That day, for the first time, Zane’s siblings all took a few minutes to speak with her. It was encouraging. Maybe they were warming up to her and becoming more accepting of her in Zane’s life.

It might all be for nothing though, if Zane didn’t get his memory back, and he decided he didn’t want to continue their marriage.

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