CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Zane pulled the casserole dish out of the oven and set it on a cooling rack on the counter. It pained him to be making a casserole, but it was the easiest thing to make given the food available to him.
Thankfully, he knew how to make it taste good, and the people who would be eating it were always appreciative. Especially Rori, who was glad to not have to be doing the cooking herself.
That night, his parents were joining them for dinner. He wished that wasn’t the case because things were still tense between him and Kelsey after their conversation the previous day.
Who would have thought that a quick trip to retrieve his cooking tools would lead to the tension they’d ended up with?
Not him. He’d just thought it would be nice to get some of his stuff—hoping it might jar some memories loose—and also for them to spend a bit of time together.
Instead, they wandered into a difficult conversation, with him discovering that for whatever reason, he’d not given Kelsey a wedding gift when she’d given him an expensive set of knives. She’d said that her rings were a gift from him, but in his mind, he should have given her more.
Her expression had closed down during their discussion about it, so he hadn’t been able to tell if the memory had made her mad or sad. But the fact that she hadn’t revealed how she felt told him that she hadn’t been happy about it. And she shouldn’t have been. He should have gotten her a necklace or something to commemorate their special day, especially considering they’d eloped.
His disappointment in himself was only topped by his disappointment that Kelsey had decided not to wear her rings. It wasn’t disappointment in Kelsey. He was just disappointed in the circumstances that had made her feel like taking them off was a good idea.
But he could hardly complain since he wasn’t wearing his either. It hadn’t even crossed his mind to ask where his ring was, or to ask for it back.
It just felt like she didn’t believe that he was committed to giving their marriage a genuine shot. He needed to figure out how to prove that to her.
“I’m short a fork,” Kelsey said as she came into the kitchen from setting the table in the dining room.
There were only six of them there for the meal, but the breakfast nook felt like it would be a bit crowded for them. He didn’t want it to end up being an awkward meal, but the chances were high. Things were still tense between him and Kelsey, but he hoped that it wasn’t too apparent. Especially to his mom.
Kelsey grabbed a fork from the drawer, then went to check out the chicken broccoli cheese casserole that was sitting on the counter. “Smells good.”
“Here’s hoping it tastes good.”
She looked at him with raised brows. “Is there a chance it won’t? Because if that’s the case, we might have some deaths around here tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when you cook great, it tastes amazing,” she said. “So I can only assume that when you cook bad, it’s lethal.”
That got a huff of laughter out of Zane, and he felt a little of the tension he’d been carrying ease. “It won’t kill anyone. I promise.”
“Then I’m sure it will taste fine.”
As she disappeared, the door to the garage opened. Rori and Lee came in with smiles, but they didn’t linger before heading to their room to change out of their scrubs, since dinner was almost ready to be served.
Zane had placed some rolls in the oven, so he checked the timer and saw that they still had a couple of minutes left. He hadn’t made them himself. The store had had frozen unbaked rolls, so he’d added them to the grocery order he’d placed for delivery earlier that day.
The doorbell rang, and he looked toward the entrance to the kitchen, listening to hear if whoever it was let themselves in.
“Hello!” his mom called out.
“In here, Mom.”
A moment later, his parents appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.
“It smells delicious, darling,” his mom said as she approached him and gave him a hug. “Better than anything I could ever make.”
“I think it’s been established that that’s a fairly low bar,” Zane said with a laugh.
His dad also chuckled as he gave Zane a hug. “Did you make enough so there’ll be leftovers? If so, I’ll gladly take them off your hands.”
“I might fight you for them,” Lee said as he walked in with Rori.
“Hello, darlings.” His mom gave them both a hug, then bent to greet Elsa, who had followed them into the kitchen. She gave the dog all the attention she’d probably give a grandchild, if any were present.
Kelsey quietly joined them, making no effort to insert herself into the conversation. Zane knew she was still uncomfortable around his parents, but all of them were trying to interact with her a bit more.
“Can someone please carry this to the table?” Zane asked as he gestured to the casserole dish on the counter.
Lee stepped up to take it, while Zane pulled the pan of rolls out. He slid them out onto the cooling racks on the counter beside the oven, waiting as Kelsey moved past him to the fridge, then he got the basket he’d set out for the rolls earlier.
“I’ll take those,” Rori offered once he’d transferred them to the basket.
Zane handed them over, then they all moved to the dining room and took seats around the table. They’d shrunk it down to its smallest size, since they hadn’t wanted to have everyone clustered around one end of the expanded table. There was still lots of room around it, though.
Lee said a prayer before they began to eat. In addition to the casserole and rolls, Kelsey had made a salad. It wasn’t a meal Zane would ever serve in a restaurant, but the majority of his family preferred more down to earth, hearty comfort food style meals. So, he gave them what they wanted.
“This tastes as delicious as it smells,” his mom said after she took a bite.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Are you a good cook, Kelsey?” his mom asked.
“When measured against Zane, I’d say no,” Kelsey said. “But if I compare myself to non-chef people, I’d say I do okay. Never poisoned myself or anyone else, so I figure that’s a win.”
“You’re fortunate to be married to someone who likes to cook,” his mom said with a smile. “Neither Dan nor I are very good cooks, but we get by.”
“I love having Zane here to help with the cooking,” Rori said. “I’m hoping he never leaves.”
Zane wanted to groan at Rori’s words because he just knew his mom was going to jump on them.
“I hope he never leaves too,” his mom said, right on cue.
He glanced at Kelsey and found her watching him, perhaps waiting for his response to that, since it pertained to their future.
“I’m not sure that’s possible, Mom,” Zane said. “You know that.”
His mom nodded. “I know, but a mom can always dream.”
“You should propose your restaurant idea to Kayleigh and Hudson,” Lee said. “Maybe you could open it at the resort.”
“Kayleigh knows about my idea,” Zane told him. “So, if it was a possibility, I’m sure she would have said something already.”
He had a hard time thinking about a future in Serenity because he’d never considered it before. But right then, he had a hard time thinking about a future anywhere. Uncertainty surrounding his health and his marriage made it a challenge to envision his future beyond the next day or so.
“Maybe I should talk to Alexander,” his mom said. “Parent to parent.”
“Mom. Please don’t do that,” Zane protested. “I have no idea what my memory is going to do, so I need to focus on getting healthy before I consider opening a restaurant.”
“That’s true,” his dad said. “You have time to figure it out.”
Zane didn’t necessarily feel that was the case, but he didn’t voice that.
“How is your job going, Kelsey?” his mom asked.
“It’s going well,” Kelsey said.
“Do you enjoy working nights?”
“I’m not sure if enjoy is the word I’d use. But I’ve worked evenings before, so having a job with hours different from the norm isn’t unusual for me.”
“I remember when Dan and I were both doing our ER residency, and there were times we worked opposite shifts and hardly ever saw each other. It was terrible.”
“In Chicago, Zane and I were fortunate that we worked similar hours at the same restaurant.”
“It wasn’t like that in Tampa?” his mom asked.
Kelsey shook her head. “We were working at two different places. Zane’s restaurant didn’t need a hostess, so I got a job somewhere else.”
“Was that difficult?”
“It was an adjustment, but we made it work. Zane’s days were longer than mine, but I always stayed up until he got home.”
“So you were waiting for him the night of the accident?”
Kelsey nodded, emotion crossing her face. “It was the worst few hours of my life as I was trying to figure out what had happened. I was in denial at first. Telling myself that he was just working late, even though his phone showed he’d left the restaurant already.”
“You had tracking on him?” his dad asked.
Kelsey hesitated a moment before answering. “Our phones were set up to show our locations to each other.”
It was a bit weird to listen to Kelsey talk about him. It felt like they were talking about another person who had the same name as him. It was rather surreal.
Zane was still trying to figure out what kind of man he’d become, and he wasn’t entirely sure he was happy with all the changes. It made him not want to regain his memories because he didn’t know what would happen to him. Would he revert to who he’d been, or would this experience bring his priorities back to where they should be?
Obviously, he wanted to regain his memories and experience where it related to his career, but in all other areas, he wasn’t sure he wanted to remember. If he was going to make a marriage with Kelsey work, he wanted to do it as the man he was when he married her, not the one he’d become.
“Do you have a… uh… career?” his mom asked.
Zane had wondered himself if Kelsey had any career aspirations beyond restaurant hostess. If her goal had been to be a wife and a mother, he could respect that. But she hadn’t mentioned that they’d been planning for a family right away.
“I’ve enjoyed being in the hospitality business,” Kelsey said. “But I have other interests, too. They just haven’t solidified into anything yet.”
Zane sensed there was something more there, but he wasn’t going to press her for answers in front of his family. He found that he wanted to know things about her before his family did. In their current situation, that felt like how things should unfold.
“I’m grateful that even though I wasn’t able to pursue education beyond high school, I’ve ended up with a job I really love,” Rori said, clearly trying to take the focus off Kelsey and her career aspirations.
“And you do a great job at it,” Lee said, giving her an affectionate smile.
“Who would have known that I’d love working in an animal clinic?”
“Might have something to do with your husband also working there,” Zane said.
Rori smiled at Lee. “It definitely has something to do with that.”
The conversation drifted away from Kelsey, and Zane was relieved. He was never sure how to take his mom’s questions when they were directed at Kelsey. He thought she was just making an attempt to get to know Kelsey better. However, some of the questions seem to wander into areas that Kelsey wasn’t comfortable discussing.
Zane felt like there was still so much he didn’t know about his relationship with Kelsey, but he didn’t know how to delve deeper into it. Would it matter if he never discovered everything about their relationship, especially if he didn’t get his memory back?
She needed to learn who he was now, and he needed to learn about her from scratch. They were making some progress on that, he thought, but it felt a bit like one step forward, two back at times.
“We’re having ice cream sundaes for dessert,” Rori announced as they finished the meal. “So let me know if there’s something specific you want to have on your sundae.”
Kelsey got up to help Rori and Lee clear the table.
When they disappeared into the kitchen, his mom said, “How are things going with you and Kelsey?”
“They’re going well,” he said, though perhaps that was a bit of a stretch. “We’ve been spending more time together.”
“Do you think it’s going to work?”
“We’re trying, Mom,” he said. “That’s all I can say. We both want to get to a good place in our marriage, so the best thing you can do to help us is to continue to pray for us and support us.”
“We are praying for you both,” his dad assured him.
“Thank you.”
Lee came back in with a carafe of coffee and set it on the table. There were mugs and bowls with spoons in them already set out on the buffet against the wall, so he moved them over to the table. Kelsey and Rori returned with trays holding the ice cream and all the options for their sundaes.
“Do you think you have enough ice cream?” his dad asked as Rori set out three containers of different flavors.
“Yep. Unless you don’t like any of the flavors,” Rori said. “In which case, we have failed.”
“I told her which flavors our family seems to prefer, so we should be okay.”
Lee scooped out the ice cream requests, then took the containers back into the kitchen once he was done. Zane watched what Kelsey chose for her sundae, wondering if this was something they’d shared before.
She chose the mini marshmallows, walnuts, bananas, and chocolate syrup. He also liked the marshmallows, walnuts, and chocolate syrup, but he passed on the bananas and chose a brownie instead.
“We leave in a week for the hospital ship,” his mom said as they ate their dessert. “We had already planned to join them before your accident. I wanted to put off going, but your dad said we should still go.”
“You should,” Zane encouraged her. “There’s no reason for you to stay here. I’m doing fine, and if we need you, we can contact you.”
“It’s just hard to leave when you’re still not one hundred percent.”
“I know, but Gareth is keeping tabs on me, so you don’t have to worry.”
“It’ll be fine,” his dad said, putting his arm around Zane’s mom. We know that God will be with you, just like He’ll be with us.”
“We’ll take care of him,” Rori said. “And make sure he does what the doctor tells him.”
“Well, we’ll try at least,” Lee added with a chuckle. “Zane is nothing if not a little stubborn.”
“Zane is sitting right here,” Zane pointed out. “Do not disparage my character.”
That got another laugh out of Lee, and Rori joined in. If there was one person who didn’t take him too seriously, it was Lee.
“I’ll expect regular updates,” his mom said. “That will help me focus on what we’re supposed to be doing on the ship.”
“When are you coming back?” Lee asked.
“We had planned to be back for Thanksgiving,” his dad said. “But they asked if we’d be willing to extend to the middle of December, and we agreed.”
That his parents had agreed to leave Serenity was a sign to Zane that he really was on the right path to recovery. There was no way his mom would leave his side if he wasn’t doing okay.
When they finished the meal, they visited a little longer, but then his parents decided it was time to go. They gave hugs and said goodnight before leaving the house.
Zane went into the kitchen and settled on one of the barstools at the counter. Lee worked to put the food away while Kelsey and Rori finished clearing the table and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. He’d tried to put away a lot of what he’d used in the meal prep, so there wasn’t too much else to clean up.
“That casserole was delicious,” Kelsey said. “Thanks for making it.”
“Yes,” Rori agreed. “It was very yummy. You’ll have to make it again.”
“I’m actually surprised you made a casserole.” Kelsey wiped the counter in front of him. “You told me once that you hated making them.”
“I do,” he agreed. “But my family likes them, and they’re fairly easy for me to make, especially being on crutches.”
“How are you feeling?” Lee asked as he took a seat on one of the other stools at the counter. “You didn’t overdo it, did you?”
“No. I’m not doing enough in a day to overdo it by making a simple meal.”
“Once you get your cast off, you might have to go to physio to strengthen your leg muscles again.”
Zane nodded. “Yeah. Gareth told me that might be necessary. I suppose it would give me something more to do while everyone is working or sleeping.”
“We need to go for a double date,” Rori announced, completely veering off-topic. “What do you think?”
Zane glanced at Kelsey, but she didn’t respond, apparently leaving the decision up to him.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. “Keeping in mind that I’m not up for anything too athletic.”
“Maybe dinner and a movie? We could see if there’s anything on at the theater in Coeur d’Alene.”
“We can talk more about it tomorrow,” Lee said. “I’m ready to wind down now.”
Soon, Lee and Rori retreated to their bedroom, leaving Zane with Kelsey.
“I guess I need to get ready for work,” Kelsey said. “They asked me to come in a little early tonight.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
“I think it’s for an employee meeting, so I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. Hopefully, they’re not laying us all off. I haven’t heard anything about that, but I guess you never know.”
“I’ll pray that it’s nothing like that.”
Kelsey hesitated a moment before she said, “Thank you.”
Left alone once Kelsey had left for work, Zane’s thoughts went to the totes up in his room. He’d gone through them the night before, discovering his old set of knives, among other things. At the bottom of one of them, he’d also discovered a box that contained the remnants of his relationship with Sarah.
He’d found a journal, which had surprised him, since he wasn’t given to journaling. Reading the first page had revealed that he’d started writing his thoughts and emotions down because he felt there was no other outlet for them. Everyone—including his family—had urged him to move forward and just let Sarah get on with her life.
His pain over the end of their relationship had been splashed all over the pages, though he’d stopped reading after five or six entries. It was clear that he had struggled greatly with the breakup. But that wasn’t too surprising, considering he was still struggling with the knowledge that he’d not only lost Sarah, but she’d gone on to marry someone else.
The anguish in his words had been too much for Zane the previous night. It wouldn’t help him move forward if he allowed himself to wallow in the pain he’d experienced already several years in the past.
Maybe he needed to read the last entries he’d written to see the state of his mind when he’d finally stopped writing them. Maybe he’d even mentioned Kelsey.
A thought had been lingering in his mind since they’d decided to try to make their marriage work that he needed to talk to someone. To get some advice from someone outside the situation. The person who came to mind was Pastor Kennedy.
He pulled out his phone and sent a text off to Will, asking for his dad’s phone number.
Will: He’s probably in bed, if you’re planning to call him, but you could probably send a text, and he’ll get back to you in the morning.
Zane thanked him for the number, appreciative of the fact that Will didn’t ask why he wanted it.
After a brief hesitation, he typed out a message to the pastor.
Hi, Pastor Kennedy. This is Zane. I was wondering if I’d be able to stop by for a chat tomorrow. I find myself in need of some counsel.
Zane couldn’t remember a time in his life when Pastor Kennedy hadn’t been part of it, so he knew that he could trust the man to give him thoughtful yet straightforward advice. He wasn’t sure that he would get that from his parents. Their love for him would probably overshadow their ability to give him good guidance that didn’t favor him over Kelsey.
He needed someone who would look out for Kelsey’s interests as well as his own, and he thought Will’s dad could be that person.