Zephyr Chapter 23
Returning home, I walked into the clubhouse fully expecting to be told that Everlyn had left. Instead, I found her sitting at a table in the longhouse with Allegra, Slayer, and Spoiler. I wanted to go to her, take her into my arms, but I didn’t.
As the rest of the club gathered around Olav, exclaiming over who Wick was, I tried to stay focused.
When I felt a tap on my arm, I thought it was one of my brothers.
I turned to look and found Everlyn standing there.
She studied me intently. I was at a loss for words, especially when she went up on her toes, hooked an arm around my neck, and tugged at me. I lowered my head.
“You and I have shit to talk about after you’re done with this asshole. Do what you need to do. I’ll be here,” she said softly, then kissed me.
It was a hard, almost desperate kiss that lasted mere seconds, but it was enough to wake up my body and revive hope. Maybe she wouldn’t tell me to get lost after all.
When she pulled away, all I could say was, “Yes, ma’am.”
Everlyn laughed, then let go and walked back over to the other women, who were all grinning. So were my brothers. I smiled back at them, then sobered.
No one wanted to miss what Olav had to say, so everyone but the prospects, Allegra, and Everlyn went to the Thrall Hut, as we referred to the part of the panic room used for torture.
Back home in our time, slaves, otherwise known as thralls, were kept in a separate hut from the family.
Their living conditions were horrible. Prisoners had been kept the same way.
Olav was placed in the chair Ducky had occupied before we left. As they secured him, I saw Ducky watching intently from his cell. He looked scared. He should be. As soon as the bandanna was removed from Olav’s mouth, he began issuing his threats.
“You think you’re safe, but you’re not. You have no idea what Aksel can do to you and your friends. That sweet piece of ass that kissed Zephyr will make a nice addition to our hóror. I bet she begs so sweetly as she takes it in every hole at once,” he smirked, staring at me.
He said it to anger me, which he did, but I didn’t bother to say anything to him. Rather, I calmly approached him and backhanded him. I wore several silver rings with sharp edges. They cut his cheek and mouth.
“Oh, aren’t you a big man, beating a captive while he’s bound and helpless?” Olav snapped back as blood ran down his chin.
“Who are you to talk? That backhand was nothing compared to what you and your friends have done. We’re not here to trade insults or listen to your bullshit, Olav.
We want to talk about why you’re so far away from Wisconsin.
You know, the errand to bring back one of our heads if Gunther was right and the curse is weakened by one of us forming a true loving bond like Zephyr has,” Raider stated.
There was a slight flicker on Olav’s face that I interpreted as unease. He wasn’t happy that we knew about Gunther. His flicker also confirmed what Ducky said was true, or at least that much was.
“Yes, we know all about Gunther and what he told Aksel. And how Aksel is now obsessed with determining whether it’s true. How he sacrificed Ducky’s entire chapter to prove it,” Pirate added.
Ducky made a moaning noise that caught Olav’s attention. I guess he hadn’t noticed him when we entered. He narrowed his gaze on Ducky.
“You fucking coward! How dare you tell them anything? I should kill you,” Olav yelled.
Ducky shrank back as if he thought Olav could do it.
Invader backhanded Olav as he said, “Shut your face. You’re not killing anyone. And why should he keep his mouth shut when you guys set his club up as disposable pawns? Ducky gets the pleasure of at least watching one of you getting a beating you deserve. Too bad we can’t take your life, too.”
The other side of Olav’s mouth was bleeding. He spat the blood onto the floor and glared at us.
“Let me explain what your fate is. Since we can’t kill you, we plan to make you suffer over and over for all those innocent people you tortured and killed, starting with the Agawan Indians.
And the wonderful part is that Aksel won’t have access to one of his top minions.
And knowing him, that will drive him mad.
Aksel will hate it. So just sit back and wait.
Oh, and we’ll pry as much information as we can out of you while we make you bleed and scream,” Raider vowed. The look on his face was savage.
Olav pretended to be unafraid, but his body tensed, and again, his flickering expressions gave away that he was terrified.
He might be immortal, but he still felt pain.
None of us were sadists. Well, Invader and Harbinger, with Invader being worse, were a little.
But neither of them hurt anyone who wasn’t deserving and of the same ilk as Olav and Aksel.
“Most of us have been up for over twenty-four hours. I suggest we put him in the other cage and let him think upon his sins. Meanwhile, we’ll all eat and grab some sleep. We’ll recommence with our entertainment at five o’clock. How does that sound?” Pres asked.
While I wanted to do it now, he was right.
I needed sleep and food, and maybe it would allow me to speak to Everlyn.
There were some halfhearted grumbles, but in the end, everyone agreed.
Olav was untied and thrown into the second cell.
He skidded on his hands and knees. The door was slammed shut and locked.
As we filed out of the room to his shouts, we laughed and shut off the lights, leaving them both in complete darkness. Sensory deprivation was a good start.
?
An hour later, I sat across from Everlyn.
We weren’t at the clubhouse. To my shock, she agreed to have this conversation at the house, in the living room.
We’d both eaten food that had been prepared hastily by the prospects while we had been talking to Olav.
After the meal, everyone dispersed to get some rest. Allegra didn’t come with us or stay at the clubhouse.
She went back to Spoiler’s home to stay in one of her extra bedrooms. She seemed okay with it.
Now that we were alone, I wasn’t sure where to start.
Everlyn wasn’t glaring at me like she had before we left to get Olav.
And she’d kissed me when I returned. I wasn’t sure what to make of the change.
And I didn’t want to say something that would screw it up.
I had one chance to save our relationship, and finish claiming Everlyn.
By the god Odin, All-Father, please help me, I prayed.
Opening my mouth to start the conversation with something, I was cut off by her speaking first.
“I had a conversation when you were gone with Allegra, Spoiler, and Slayer.”
“What kind of conversation?” I asked.
“They sat me down and told me why you never told me about being a doctor, why you don’t actively practice as one, and how Slayer not only lost her husband the night of the massacre, but her unborn child. And Slayer told me about Lola.”
My body jerked as the blows landed. I was shocked that Slayer had spoken of the parts that impacted her.
It wasn’t something she did, even with the club members.
Her pain, her grief over losing two children, ate at her every day, even after all these years.
Mixed with the shock was curiosity to know what they told Everlyn was my feelings on the matter.
Like them, I usually didn’t speak of it, though at first, I had shared my scrambled reasons with Slayer.
“I’m stunned that Slayer spoke of it. Yes, her losses haunt her. She wants to be a mother more than anything in the world. Even if she hadn’t loved Sigurd, she looked forward to having their child. Lola was tragic. It should’ve never happened.”
As I said the last part, I stood and moved around the room. Sitting still wasn’t an option at the moment.
“It’s always tragic when an innocent child dies. But do you know what else is tragic?” Everlyn left the question hanging. It took me a few moments to reply.
“What?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what she thought.
“When a man who studied for decades, centuries, to learn how to help the sick does everything in his power to save a child, and she still dies. And that man takes it personally, believing it meant he wasn’t good enough, hadn’t done enough to try and save her.
Then, he stopped working as a doctor, something he enjoyed doing, I was told, to punish himself. ”
“Hey, that’s not—” I objected, but she kept talking.
“That’s exactly what you did. You’re punishing yourself, Leif. I have no doubt you did everything you could to save Lola. But despite our best efforts, sometimes we can’t change fate.”
“Like hell I did everything! You said it yourself. I studied for centuries. No one in the world had more knowledge than me, and I still let her die. I tore out my sister’s heart for a second time. I failed!” I snapped.
“So, in those forty-eight hours while Lola lay in the hospital bed, there were no nurses, doctors, or diagnostic equipment? There were no medications?” she shot back.
“Of course there were!”
“But none of them tried to help Lola. You didn’t use the equipment or medications to help her,” Everlyn snapped.
“Goddamn it, yes, everyone in the ICU, all the pediatric doctors and nurses tried to help her,” I snarled, coming to stand before her, looming over her.
My body was shaking. My hands were clenched into fists. Everlyn rose off the couch. Automatically, I reached out and took her arm, helping her to stand, even though she appeared not to need my assistance. Then, her hands came up to cup each side of my face. Her eyes bored into mine.
“If that’s all true, and countless others couldn’t save her, with their combined knowledge and resources, then why must you bear the blame?
You believe in the gods and fate, do you not?
The Norns control the making of everyone’s fate.
And even the gods, the Almighty Odin, aren’t above them, correct? ”
As her words sank in and I realized she’d been clearly reading up on my faith, the anger within me began to ebb away. I nodded my head in her hands.
“Yes, the Norns: Urdr, Verdandi, and Skuld weave all our fates. Everyone, even the gods, has a fixed death that we cannot escape.”
“So, as awful as it was, Lola’s time had come.
And based on my faith, it means that God or the gods needed her elsewhere.
You can’t keep beating yourself up for her death, nor for not being able to save Sokanon’s village.
The weight of the world and everyone’s life path isn’t yours to bear, Leif.
Why do you feel it is? Why do you feel you didn’t do enough when everyone else clearly says you did? Even Slayer said it.”
Her soft pleading tone broke me. I sagged, falling onto the couch. Everlyn sank next to me. Tears blurred my vision.
“Because I never did enough. My family reminded me every day, from the time I was a small child, that I didn’t help around our longhouse enough.
Why didn’t I do more to help with the animals, the garden, and repairs?
When I got older, I didn’t bring home enough game or fish.
I wasn’t as good a farmer or builder. I didn’t find a suitable woman to settle down with to produce a family.
All of my siblings were better at everything than me.
That was why my family chose me to be part of the here, the large raiding force Aksel was taking to the new land.
The term Viking comes from what we call ‘go a-viking,’ which means taking part in a raid.
My father chose me because if I died, I wouldn’t be missed as much as one of my brothers or brothers-in-law, because I didn’t contribute enough. I was lacking.”
As I confessed my greatest shame, I broke inside.
Sobs shook my body as I verbalized aloud for the first time in my life to someone why I felt inadequate despite everything I did to prove I wasn’t.
Everlyn’s hands left my face, then I found myself with her arms hugging me tightly to her.
She murmured soothing words into my ear and rocked me as her hands rubbed my back as if I were a small child.
I don’t know how long she did that before I stopped crying.
As my tears stopped, it dawned on me that she’d been holding me with a bullet wound in her back. She had to be miserable and beyond exhausted. Healing sapped energy like crazy. I extracted myself from her arms.
“Evie, you shouldn’t be straining yourself like this. Here I am, crying like a baby while you’re wounded. You need to lie down. Let me get you pain medication. You have to be in agony.”
I went to stand, but she grabbed my arms. I didn’t yank free because I refused to cause her more pain.
“Sit. I don’t need medication, and we’ll lie down when we’re through talking.
I need you to know that what your family said was utter bullshit.
And if they were before me, I’d slap that truth into every last one of them.
I can’t believe they said that to you. And to start when you were a toddler.
It’s criminal. They weren’t your family, Leif.
They were people who shared your blood and nothing more.
“I’ve never once looked at you and thought you were less. And I know none of your brothers or sisters in the club have either. You have to forgive yourself for something that was never within your control or your fault.”
A tightness that had been in my chest my entire existence snapped.
I hadn’t known it was there until it did.
And when it did, it was like something deep inside shifted and expanded.
Suddenly, I felt true happiness creep in.
Without a thought, I brought Everlyn close and kissed her.
She responded as she always did: with enthusiasm and yearning.
As our kiss deepened, I knew that what she said was correct. I was enough. I hadn’t failed. I did everything I could to help and save people. I felt as if I’d been set free: pardoned.