Chapter 27
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
ZIGGY
Ihave exactly zero complaints about Kennedy showing up and feeding me. He noticed I don’t have an oven, so dinner came precooked, and we sit on a log together outside and eat it while the sun sets.
The whole time, I’m overly tuned in to him.
His muscular arm brushes against mine every time one of us moves, and my heart is still in overdrive from him catching the sauce by my mouth with his thumb.
He keeps shooting me smiles like he can’t help himself, but they’re more restrained than the ones that set off fireworks in my gut.
It’s taken me all through dinner to land on a question that doesn’t sound stupid.
“How was your day?”
He finishes chewing and swallows, eyes squinting a little as he thinks. “Interesting, I’d say.”
“Why?”
“I mean, Hart was gone for most of it, but before he left, I think I had a moment with my brothers.”
I lift my eyebrows, encouraging him to continue.
“We don’t really talk. Or … they don’t. I don’t stop talking, but trying to get a real conversation out of them is like pulling teeth. I hate it.”
“Sorry …” I whisper. “I’m not good at it either.”
Stupid, pussy, useless.
He turns to me, and I’m confused how he can look surprised. “You’re so good at it. What do you mean?”
I give him the driest look possible, but he waves it off with a flick of his hand.
“You give me the real stuff. You let me in; that’s all I want.
I just want to know people in here.” He reaches over to tap his finger against my chest. “My brothers have their feelings on everything locked down tight. It wasn’t always like that.
But this morning, it almost felt like old times for a second. ”
The hope in his voice is so Kennedy. The man who wants to see the best in people. I have no idea how he’s related to his brothers when they’re both so … let’s go with different. I suppose there has to be a moment where a guy decides to be nice to his boyfriend’s brothers.
I reach up and slide my hand over the back of his neck, giving it a supportive squeeze.
“Thanks. It felt good.” Like he’s remembering himself, he straightens, putting some distance between us. “How was your day?”
Planning a hot water system for them and a mine remodel for me? I steal his answer. “Interesting.”
“Good.” That’s all he gives me, and I wonder if he’s as nervous about our relationship as I am.
It’s all new for me, and like Rooney said, the rules are a mystery.
I’m prepared for Kennedy to turn into an overbearing love monster, and I know I’ll be able to handle it, but as for what he wants from me?
It would help to ask him, but an almost thirty-year-old man questioning how to be a boyfriend is almost as pathetic as googling love.
I’m going to have to follow Kennedy’s lead and trust my instincts.
You know, those same instincts that ended up with me in the middle of nowhere, lonely and living in a mine.
Forcing courage that catches even me by surprise, I slide closer, until our hips touch, and then I pull his face to mine.
For all the weird hesitancy I’ve been feeling tonight, there’s none of it in the kiss.
I could spend all night like this, but there’s something I want more.
Something I’ve been thinking about most of the day.
I suck on his tongue while my free hand slides up his thigh and settles over the straining bulge between them.
His chuckle fills my mouth. “I was about to say I should head home, but we’ve got time for that first.”
Home?
I’d thought he would spend the night again.
I have to shake the disappointment from my head. Of course it makes sense he wouldn’t sleep over every night. He has his own place, his own bed, and neither of them comes with the creepiness of mine. Apparently.
So this is all completely normal.
“I’ve been thinking about it all day,” I confess in a whisper.
It must be the right thing to say because Kennedy cups my face and kisses me deeper. He pours all the need I’ve been feeling into the kiss, and even with my tender top lip, I don’t want this to end.
He pulls me with him as he stands. “Have you showered?”
“Before you got here. I, uh, wanted to be ready.”
His low groan sends ripples of need through me. There’s nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life like when we’re together. It’s addictive. Kennedy makes me feel so wanted, and I’m scared to get used to the feeling in case I lose it again.
He kisses me as he backs me inside, grass turning to tile flooring underfoot until my calves bump the side of my couch, and he finally breaks the kiss.
His hands find the bottom of my shirt, and he pulls it up over my head. His goes next.
I love Kennedy’s chest. He’s muscular, all across his pecs, shoulders, and arms. His stomach is thick, but softer, and covering it all is a layer of blond hair.
I’m so fucking hard as I run my hands over his chest, thumb catching one of his nipples. A sharp inhale rushes past his teeth, and Kennedy’s darkened gaze locks on mine.
“Take off your pants.”
I don’t drop his gaze as I reach for them. I want him to see what he does to me. I want him to see that I need this.
As soon as my fly is undone, the heavy denim drops to the ground, and I kick it aside.
His focus finally dips, and he licks his lips like he’s starving for me.
I reach for his pants. They’re thick work material, but perfectly sculpted to his ass, his thighs, his cock. I’ve inspected them so many times while we work together that it’s committed to memory.
I tug his fly down, and his cock follows his zipper, spilling out like it’s eager to reach for me. He’s not wearing underwear, which only goes to show he was hoping for this as much as I was. Kennedy should know by now that this is always on the table for him.
Because I can’t help myself, I push his pants from his hips and wrap my hand around him. He’s hot and heavy in my palm, a feeling I’m convinced I’ll never get used to, and as he thrusts into my grip, his eyes flutter back.
“That feels so good.”
Pride prickles in my gut. The way I can turn him on is the biggest high, and half the time, I’m convinced I need a mirror to check it’s really me standing here.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” he says, voice hitched as he fucks my fist. “I’m going to sit on the floor and put my head back on the couch cushion. Then you’re going to face the back of the couch and lower yourself until I’m wearing your balls like a hat. Got it?”
My brain is too stuck to answer him, even if I wanted to.
He slants a grin at me. “Think that sounds good? Wait until my tongue is in your ass.”
I think I choke on air.
Kennedy pulls away from me and gets into position.
My heart is racing sickeningly fast, and the thought of doing what he wants to do is making me equal parts hot and self-conscious.
He’s going to see everything. I want him to see everything, but I’m also scared of him seeing everything, and it’s the strangest mix of emotions, but my dick is aching, so I don’t stop to think about it for long.
Especially when Kennedy props up one of his knees and reaches for his cock. He’s stroking himself as he watches me.
“Ziggy, just looking at you is enough to make me blow. So if you don’t want me to get myself off, you better give me something else to do with my hands.”
Oh.
Fuck.
Okay.
The blood drains from my head to my cock, and I forget to overthink this. I climb up onto the couch, gripping the back of it, and then I take a deep breath and straddle his head.
The puff of Kennedy’s exhale near my hole is almost too much for me to continue. Chills race down my spine. My balls rest on his forehead, and then his tongue slips out and licks a stripe along my crease.
My hands clench tight to my couch as my dick throbs with sensation.
I can do this. I can get through it. Even though my eyes are trying to roll back into my skull.
“Fuck, Ziggy.” He lashes his tongue over me again. His mustache is scraping the skin between my legs, but instead of hurting, it’s a delicious burn against his warm, wet tongue.
I’ve played around back there myself, but it’s usually when I’m getting close to coming that I’ll help myself out.
I’ve never taken my time, never stopped to enjoy the sensations when my dick is the priority, but when Kennedy’s tongue massages the area around my hole, softening it and helping me relax, I realize what I was missing out on.
This feels incredible.
His tongue presses against my entrance, then dips inside and breaches the tight ring of muscle. My thighs shake. I’m struggling to hold myself above him as it is, but with every plunge of his tongue in and out of my hole, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
Then he slaps my ass with a massive thwack. The pain spreads across my skin, so sudden and hot, precum blooms from my tip. I choke back the pain, and I’m about to give him space when he wraps both hands around the dip where my thighs meet my hips, holding me in place.
“Ziggy …” he gasps. “You’re not going to suffocate me like this.”
“W-what?”
“Show me how much you want it. Smother me.”
Every word out of his mouth is turning my brain to Jell-O. I’m not in control anymore. I’m not even aware of where all my limbs are. My cock is aching, my hole is twitching for more. I can’t take this.
“I told you to sit,” he says, warm hands tickling the crease on either side of my groin. “Now, sit.”
Kennedy’s hold on my legs tightens, and he pulls me down hard. His face buries between my cheeks, and the deep moan he lets out vibrates from my ass to my scalp.
The grip I have on the couch tightens until my knuckles go white, and when Kennedy’s tongue presses into my ass, I can’t stop from grinding back onto it.
He knew exactly what I needed, and while I crave touching him, there’s a special kind of torture in him being out of my reach. In being powerless to what he’s doing. All I can do is hold on tight while he has me ride his face, like I’ll die if I stop.
His tongue slides in and out of me, filling my hole with a delicious stretch, and the coarse hair of his mustache ripples against my skin.
I can’t work out what I want more of, just everything, and my hips are rocking more aggressively against him, but Kennedy’s hands stay planted where they are, not letting me give him room to breathe.
He’s kissing and sucking my hole like he’s afraid I’ll disappear, and the sounds he’s making as he eats me out are as needy as the ball building in my chest.
My head drops back, eyes screwed tightly as I clear my brain and let myself feel. I’ve missed out on this for way too long, denied myself something that feels this good, and now that I have it, I’m going to take advantage of everything he’ll give me.
His hands release, just for a second, then one closes around my cock while he presses a finger up my ass beside his tongue. I go from enjoying myself to close to the edge, and I grit my teeth against the need to come.
I want this to last.
I want to enjoy this all night.
But I know that very soon it won’t be my decision.
I’m leaking and close, body burning up, head so full I’m dizzy.
Kennedy finally pulls away, panting loudly, then pulls me down further so when I look down, we make eye contact between my legs. “Put your balls in my mouth.”
I don’t stop to think. Just do as I’m told, lowering my balls onto his waiting tongue. His lips close around them, the wet suction almost too much as he strokes two fingers in and out of my ass and jerks me off with the other hand.
Everything is getting oversensitive. Too much. Too good. Too fast.
The swollen head of my cock disappears and reappears in his fist, right over where his eyes have fallen closed as he sucks on my balls.
I always knew Kennedy made me feel good.
Platonically. Romantically.
But I never would have picked this.
This deep hunger that’s settled in my gut as I willingly let him do whatever he wants to me. I trust him to make me feel good, to know what I like, to hold me and build me up and help me discover all these amazing things I’ve never experienced before.
The pressure in my cock swells, my brain cuts out, and then twitches take over my whole body as I come. I pant my way through it, riding out wave after wave that pass over me, hovering in that sheen of an orgasm for a moment before it slowly seeps away.
Kennedy releases my balls and disappears from between my legs. Before I can look back at what he’s doing, he presses gently against my lower back until I’m leaning over the couch.
“Yeah, like that,” he gasps, the sounds of him jerking off filling the room. He grips my ass with one hand, spreading it open, and his exhale hitches. “So fucking hot.”
I look back over my shoulder, watching as he jacks himself, hard and fast, gaze locked on my ass. He grunts, muscles tightening, then redirects his cock right as he releases. Warm ropes of his cum cover my back, and the sigh he lets out when he’s finished is full of satisfaction.
His thumb skims my sensitive hole, and then he pulls me up so he can wrap his arms around me.
“How was that?” he murmurs by my ear.
Mind-blowing. I take his hand and help him rub my release into my front, head resting back on his shoulder. I’m so relaxed and satiated that I don’t want to move.
Ever.
“I ran out of breath at one point and still didn’t want to stop,” he says, hips nudging forward until his half-hard cock nestles between my cheeks. “You have the sexiest little hole I’ve ever tasted.”
I might be inexperienced, but even I know this is all just sex talk. It doesn’t stop me from feeling amazing though.
My clean hand reaches back to slide through his hair as his lips trail down my neck.
“Next time.” His voice has taken on a husky tone. “I want to fuck you.” He rolls his hips against mine. “Can I?”
“Yes.” I don’t need to think about this one. Even being here with him doesn’t take away that deep ache for him. To be closer. To claim him.
The answer will always be more.
“I can’t wait.” He leaves one last kiss on my shoulder, then pulls away. It’s a warm night, but without his body against mine, everything feels cold. “Come on, I’ll wash you before I head home.”
And with his hands on me under the water, I forget to feel disappointed.
It’s not until much later, under a darkness that not even the moon can cut through, that doubts find their way back in.
Everything floods back to me, and without the fog of horniness, I question every little thing. Every sound I made. How I straddled him. If I was good enough.
I’m sure he enjoyed it.
But the loneliness strangling me questions that certainty until morning.