CHAPTER 24
I wake up and stretch . It felt so good to sleep without worrying – to wake up nestled in muscles, his calming scent, and the security that comes along with him. It can be quite dangerous to be this addicted to someone, especially for a woman like me. I’ve never put myself in a position where I really needed anyone for anything. Since I graduated high school and went on to college, I’ve been self-sufficient. I didn’t rely on my mother or my brothers to take care of me. I took care of myself. I’ve been taking care of myself, but last night, I found out how good it feels to be taken care of. If I’m not careful, I can find myself becoming addicted to this – to him.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
I smile and say, “Good morning, Axel.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Good,” I say, stretching again while still lying across his lap.
“Glad to hear it. I’ve been needing to visit the bathroom for the last few hours.”
“Oh, gosh.” I instantly get up and say, “You should’ve told me.”
He stands, stretches his arms toward the ceiling, and says, “It’s fine. I wasn’t about to wake you. May I use your bathroom?”
“Sure. Of course. Just go down the hallway—the first door on the right.”
I watch as he heads in that direction. I know he must be exhausted. I really didn’t mean for him to stay the entire night, but I’m glad he did. I was a complete mess, and I really don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep without him here.
He comes out of the bathroom, wiping his hands with a paper towel.
I say, “I’m sorry about last night. I don’t usually break down like that, and I didn’t mean to take up your entire night.”
“Don’t apologize. I wanted to be here for you.”
“Well, I appreciate it.”
He smiles. “Why are you saying that like you’re trying to kick me out? I ain’t going nowhere.”
“Axel, I know you want to go home and shower and stuff. It’s Saturday.”
“I’m very well aware of what day it is, and I want to spend it with you. So, I tell you what—I’m going to run home, take a shower, and then I’ll be back to pick you up.”
“Pick me up?”
“You heard me.”
“I’m not in the mood to be out. I probably have bags under my eyes right now from crying.”
“You don’t. Getting out in nature will enhance your mood.”
“Ugh…no. Curling up on the sofa eating Pringles will enhance my mood.”
He grins. “Not today, it won’t. I’ll be back in two hours. Be ready to go.”
“I’m not making any promises.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll throw you over my shoulder and take you to my car if I have to.”
“Okay. Fine.”
There’s that smug smirk again. It’s sort of growing on me.
When I hear a knock at the door, I know it’s him, but to be sure, I glance through the peephole. I grab my purse and open the door, immediately taking in his fit. He’s wearing black jeans today with a gray and black striped shirt and that black baseball cap again. He smells heavenly. He looks like a dream. Those striking features of his are on full display this morning, the same way they were behind my eyelids last night when he rocked me to sleep like a toddler.
“You look nice,” he tells me, eyeing me shamelessly from head to toe. After a long, hot shower, I put on a pair of jean capri pants with a camel-brown blouse and a pair of white sneakers. Gold hoops and bangles complete my outfit. I typically don’t get too dressed up if I’m not going anywhere special. I wear comfortable clothes. Life is meant to be lived, and I don’t plan on being uncomfortable while trying to do it. Besides, he said we need to spend some time in nature, so I imagine we’ll end up at a park or something.
He opens the passenger door of the Genesis for me and after I’m safely inside, he gets in and says, “I was thinking Granby Park.”
I look over at him, noticing he’s wearing sunglasses that look like they cost a small fortune. I look at his arm to see that he’s not wearing the watch today. And now, I can’t take my eyes off his arms. They’re just hairy enough to make my fingers twitch. I want to rub my fingertips along them. I want to feel them around me, but hadn’t I gotten enough of that last night?
No.
No, I did not.
The security I feel in his arms is unmatched to any feeling of safety I thought I had or had ever felt before. And he smells so good, I could just recline this seat, close my eyes, and chill right here in his whip with the sunroof open and all the windows down.
His large, muscular hands grip the steering wheel. I look at his face to see that he’s staring directly at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Is Granby Park okay?”
“Oh. Yes. That’s fine. They have nice trails.”
I grin to myself. I was so captivated by him, I didn’t even realize we were still sitting in the parking lot.
He puts Granby Park into his car’s navigation system and then reverses out of the parking space. I reach to turn on the radio to see what kind of music my thirty-six-year-old friend listens to. I notice it’s the local R&B station.
I say, “That’s your vibe?”
“I like all kinds of music. If I can vibe to it, I’m good. What about you?”
“Same. I lean more toward dark romantic music that makes you fall in love with the sound of it, yet you can feel the pain the artist tries to convey.”
He chuckles. “That sounds like you.”
I smile and say, “Don’t act like you know me.”
“I know enough.”
“Yet, I hardly know anything about you because when we’re together, all you want to talk about is me.”
“That’s only because you’re more interesting than I am.”
“Nah. I highly doubt that. It’s because you don’t want me to know the real you.”
“You’re looking at the real me, Zimyra.”
“Am I?”
“You are.”
I doubt that very seriously, I think to myself as I pull down the visor to look in the mirror. I pull a tube of gloss out of my pocket and glide the wand across my lips, thinking about the real him. He’s a maintenance worker who drives an eighty-thousand dollar vehicle and rocks a pair of sunglasses that costs at least two hundred – maybe more. He had on a watch that cost more than what most people make in a year, and he truly thinks I believe that what he’s showing me is the real him.
Yeah, right…
I push the visor back up and put the gloss back into my purse. I don’t know him as well as I feel like I should by now. Part of that is my fault because I was doing everything to stay away – to keep our relationship strictly professional, but that’s all out the window now. I should’ve known that when he threw me upside the wall and nearly sucked my tongue right out of my mouth. So, today, that’s my goal – to find out everything I need to know about this man. He wants to make himself a part of my life – fine, but I’m going to insert myself into his as well.
He pulls into a parking space. I get out and stretch beneath the warmth of the sun and pull in fresh, morning air. Axel grabs a backpack from the backseat and says, “Alright. Let’s do this.”
“What’s in the backpack?”
“Water and snacks. I can’t have you out here hungry and thirsty.”
I grin. If I am thirsty, it won’t be the kind water can quench.
“This is a nice place,” he says.
“Do they have beautiful parks like this back in Bridgeport?” I ask him.
“Of course, but being one hundred percent honest, I’m not exactly the outdoorsy type.”
“That’s a shame,” I tease.
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s in nature that makes us closer to our Creator. He made all of this, you know. When you touch a leaf or feel water against your skin, you’re feeling an extension of his love, mercy, and power.”
“I suppose I should get out more, then.”
“Today is a good start.” We take more steps, listening to the birds and watching people walk and run past us. I ask, “What kind of person are you since you’re not the nature type?”
“I’m a person who likes working, making money, and supporting myself. My father instilled hard work in me at a young age.”
“Working is good. Leisure is also good.”
“It is, but it doesn’t pay the bills.”
“No, but it helps you to reset so you’ll be in a better state of mind to work.”
“Oh really, says the woman who wanted to lay on the sofa and eat snacks all day.”
I let out a small laugh.
He says, “What are the men around here doing to cause a woman like you to be single?”
“It’s not them. It’s me. Or, let me put it like this—the best way to avoid drama and stay free of a lot of unnecessary nonsense is to just keep to myself. I’ve mapped out a path for my life. I need to focus and stay on that path. Plus, I’ve always been self-sufficient. I find that most relationships are born out of necessity. He either needs something from her, or she needs something from him. It’s never really love.”
I glance at him and watch him frown. He says, “That’s a bit harsh.”
I shrug and say, “That’s just how I see things. I don’t need a man. I take care of myself. Well, last night, you took care of me, but that’s unusual. I take care of myself because you can never really trust anyone, can you?”
“You can. You trust me.”
“I do trust you, but how many hearts have you broken, Axel? I’m sure there were plenty of women who thought you would be that man for them. Right?”
“Yes.”
“They trusted you. They trusted that you would feel the same way about them that they felt about you and you didn’t. Therefore, you left them with a broken heart after thinking they were going to have some pretty hazel-eyed babies and a handsome husband who wanted to give them the world.”
“Wow! That’s your assessment of me.”
“I know a heartbreaker when I see one.”
“As if you’ve never broken any hearts…”
“Not intentionally. I had one boyfriend in high school and another in college. The one from high school—Zander threatened him and told him if he put a hand on me, he would make sure no one found his body.”
Axel throws his head back and laughs.
“You laugh, but that’s what he told him. Needless to say, he broke up with me, and I didn’t have a prom date, so Zavier, bless his heart, accompanied me to my prom. He’s the more rational twin, but he doesn’t play about me either.”
“What happened with the college boyfriend?”
“It just didn’t work. He was the nerdy type, and don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with that, but any man who wants to date me has to have a backbone, or I’ll run all over him. Besides, I have strong men for protectors. If I did decide to date, I would pretty much keep it close to the chest just to avoid their interrogations.”
“You shouldn’t have to do that.”
“I know I shouldn’t , but that’s what it is.”
“So, you’ve never brought a man home to meet your mother?”
“No.”
“Interesting. Did I tell you I met her? Your mother?”
“I figured you did when she reached out to Zander to let him know you were coming over to his house to see me. I wish you hadn’t done that. Zander is already on my case about you, and my mother is going to think you’re my boyfriend.”
“Am I not?”
I look at him. His brows raise.
I smile, feeling like an idiot beneath the force of his powerful charm. I say, “No, you’re not my boyfriend.”
“Then, who am I?”
“A friend.”
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
“It is true. Just because we kissed doesn’t make us a couple, Axel.”
“You think what we did was just a kiss?” he asks, teasingly biting down on his bottom lip.
“It was.”
“It wasn’t. I basically made love to your mouth, babygirl, and I’ve been waiting like a fiend for an opportunity to do it again. But, I know you’re working through some things right now. That’s the only reason I haven’t pinned you up against the wall again. Trust me on that.”
Dang . It just got ten degrees warmer out here.
This man, this man, this man…
He’s done things to my psyche that I didn’t think were possible. I say, “You shouldn’t talk to me like that. It’s not very gentlemanlike.”
“Who said I was a gentleman?”
“Right…you’re the heartbreaker from Bridgeport who I know nothing about.”
“You know just as much about me as I know about you.”
“Lies.”
He smirks and walks over to a park bench and asks, “What don’t you know that you’re just dying to know, Zimyra?”
“I don’t know why you’re pursuing me when you have no desire to be with one woman.”
“Says who?”
“Says me. I can pick up on these things.”
I sit down while he unzips his bag and hands me a bottle of water.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
He joins me and after he drinks water, he asks, “What makes you think I don’t want a relationship?”
“You mean besides the fact that you told me out of your own mouth? I think I’ll take your word for it. Plus, I have very strict standards—ones I know a man like you won’t abide by.”
“Like what?”
“Like, I will never give my body to a man who won’t commit to me. It’s hard enough to keep one when you’re committed. Think about how difficult it is to hold on to one who will gladly sleep with you, and run to the next woman’s bed. That’s not what I’m looking for.”
“From what you’ve told me, you’ve never been in a committed relationship.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Does this mean what I think it means?”
“What do you think it means, Axel?”
He sips water, then looks at me and says, “That you’ve never been intimate with anyone?”
“That’s correct.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“I am,” I tell him.
“I don’t believe that,” he says.
“Believe it. I have no reason to lie about it.”
He shakes his head and says, “You certainly don’t kiss like a virgin…had me ready to take you into that clubhouse and lay you across that table.”
“Shut up,” I say, unable to hide my amusement.
“But this is interesting. I have so many questions.”
“You and these questions…you’re really a lawyer, aren’t you?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. How is it possible that you’re a virgin? You don’t have desires?”
“Of course I do, but unlike men, women can control theirs.”
“That’s not true.”
“For the most part, it is.”
He frowns. He looks conflicted, yet intrigued. He asks, “What are you afraid of? There has to be a reason you’re not telling me. I get the commitment part, but a man like me can have you eating your words when it comes to that.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can.”
“You’re that confident in yourself, huh?”
“I am, so give it to me straight because I know it’s something deeper.”
I sigh and say, “My father broke my mother’s heart, and she hasn’t been the same since. She’s beautiful—won’t even entertain the idea of a relationship because of what he did. I know it’s still painful for her. I don’t want to be put in that kind of position.”
“What exactly did he do?”
“He was seeing another woman, and I found out that I have three half-brothers and a host of cousins—relatives we didn’t know existed.”
“So, it’s a trust issue.”
“Absolutely. I feel like it would take a lot of trust for me to give my body to someone.”
“I see. Now, I understand why you were moaning so much when I kissed you. You’re not used to it.”
“No, but that’s not why I was moaning. You were kissing me like a starved lion.”
“You were kissing me with the same energy. That tells me there’s something deep down that you’re missing, whether you want to admit it or not.”
“It’s probably true—still doesn’t mean I’ll sacrifice my morals to obtain it.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“Hey, Myra!”
I look in the direction of the familiar voice and see Nykendy heading my way. Leading the way is little Kaden. He starts running toward me, saying, “Auntie Mywah.”
He’s so freakin’ adorable. I get up and make up the distance from me to him to save his little legs the trouble. I scoop him up in my arms and place kisses on his face. “Hey, Kaden.”
“Hey, Myra,” Nykendy says, sounding almost out of breath. “Girl, it’s a chore trying to keep up with him.” She looks past me and sees Axel and says, “Oh, hi Axel…good to see you again.”
“You as well.”
“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” Nykendy asks, looking at me and waggling her brows.
I hide a grin while running my fingers through Kaden’s curls. “Where’s Zavier?” I ask.
Nykendy turns around and says, “There he is. We left him in the dust, but in his defense, he was on the phone with a patient. He’s the on-call doctor this weekend.”
My anxiety instantly increases. My only solace is that it’s Zavier and not Zander.
“What’s up, girl?” he asks, walking up and throwing an arm around me.
“Hey, Zavier.”
Zavier looks at Axel and says, “It’s Axel, right?”
“Yep. That’s me,” Axel responds, guarded. I’m sure he doesn’t know what to expect from my brothers at this point.
Zavier reaches to shake his hand and says, “Ay, man. Thank you for what you did for my sister. I’m glad you were there.”
“I am, too,” Axel says, accepting my brother’s hand for a brief shake.
“By the way, did Zimyra tell you about the cookout?” Zavier asks.
Axel looks at me and says, “No, she didn’t. You holding out on me, Zimyra?”
I’m speechless. Why the heck would my brother invite him to our family cookout?
“It’s at our place next Saturday,” Zavier says. “Feel free to join us if you can.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Alright. Come on, son,” Zavier says, taking Kaden from my grasp.
“Bye, Uncle Assel. Bye, Aunt Mywah.”
“I’ll see you later, buddy,” Axel says.
“Bye. See y’all later,” I tell them.
When they walk away, I shake my head and say, “Why did you have to embarrass me like that?”
“Embarrass you? I’m the one who’s embarrassed. You didn’t even invite me to the family cookout.”
“That’s because you’re not family.”
“I am now.”
“Stop playing with me, Axel.”
“I am. I’m going to be around for a long time. You’ll see.”
I take a sip of water and say, “Alright. Let’s walk. I have to get home and cook dinner.”
“For us?” he asks.
“No. You’re going home.”