Chapter 6 #2
“Any living soul would be goddamn lucky to get up close and personal with my giant dick. It’s a curse, really, a cross I have to bear.” Jayden tugged off his shirt once in front of his locker, a couple away from mine, Sutton between us.
Sutton piped up, his voice deadpan, “You put a whole new meaning to dribbling with all that leakage going on. I don’t know if it’s coming from your ass, your mouth, or your giant dick.”
I laughed loudly. “Leakage? Gross, are you dribbling from an orifice, Jayden? Man, there’s medication for that. Geez.”
Jayden shot both of us the stink eye. “Fuck you, assholes. I fill fucking orifices, not the other way round.”
My eyes shot up, and I gaped before I laughed so hard I was sure I was going to curl over.
“The fuck, that’s not what I meant,” Jayden shouted, backtracking unsuccessfully.
“So women don’t have orifices?” Sutton looked at me with a smirk and threw me a wink before settling his gaze back on Jayden.
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me why you’d jump to that conclusion.
You know the association has strict guidelines about supporting everyone and being inclusive,” he said, and my laughter died away as he spoke, knowing while that may be the party line, a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture was very much true.
I glanced away and grabbed my toiletries, listening in as Sutton continued. “We all know that’s a crock, but anyone with big enough balls to come out in our team, they’d get our support 110 percent.”
At some point, all amusement had gone. Jayden listened intently, no longer protesting, and a few other guys were clearly listening in too.
Me? My whole body froze in a rush of fear.
Why the fuck was he saying this? Was it me?
Was he saying it for my benefit? Regardless of the reason, what he said was amazing, but still…
had I said or done something that made him suspect?
Nausea grew thick and fast in my gut, a balloon of lead expanding, becoming heavier and heavier, and the sweat already covering my skin doubled its efforts.
“Too fucking right they would. One of ours will always be one of ours.” The fire in Jayden’s voice took me by surprise, but there wasn’t a chance I’d look his way. I couldn’t.
“Shower,” I said, a little too loudly, drawing more than Jayden and Sutton’s attention to me. I needed to chill out. “Get your asses into gear before Coach comes looking.”
And thankfully, I wasn’t wrong.
Coach had his own pregame routines he expected us to follow, and showering after our early drills was just one of them.
By some miracle, we won. While I wouldn’t usually assume divine intervention, after the weird pronouncement from Sutton, my head wasn’t where it should have been. I’d had two hours pregame to sort myself out, and while I’d shaken off most of Sutton’s words, his voice echoed on repeat in my head.
While I didn’t know if he was on to me or not, my nerves threatened to spill over and screw up my performance. One stumble, I’d thought that was it, but it had also been enough to shake me and remind me this was my job, my life…, my career.
I couldn’t screw this up.
The game against the Knights had been tight.
They’d had one too many breaks, making us pretty even at the half.
With some smooth… hell, even enviable moves from Blake in the third quarter, the game finally tilted in our favor; by the fourth, we were on a roll, despite the last five minutes of always being in a clutch.
Those five points rode us all heavily until a three-pointer from Jayden set us up for the win.
Tension—a combination of relief, anxiety, and a blast of fucking joy—buzzed in my veins as I left the stadium. There wasn’t a chance I’d head out with the guys tonight. Jayden hadn’t even pushed for it when I’d refused either.
A new message alert grabbed my attention, and I asked Siri to read it.
“Nate. Good game. Nothing like leaving it till the last second, though. Deakin is a turd. What the hell with that foul?”
I grinned as Siri read Nate’s text to me. Not allowing myself to overthink, I directed Siri to call Nate. He picked up immediately.
“Shit, man, how’s your ankle?”
I chuckled lightly. “All good. Nothing to sweat about. Deakin is a turd,” I agreed. The asshole in the Knights had shoved me hard. My ankle had twinged in the fall, and for one heart-stopping moment, I’d hesitated over moving it, too terrified I’d sprained it or done a whole heap worse.
Thankfully, it was little more than a pinch. A quick strap during a time-out had meant I was good to go.
“Thank Christ for that. You heading out?”
“Tonight? No. On my way home. Tomorrow we’re heading to Memphis for the game the day after. I need some downtime.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“The traveling, the chaos during the season.”
“It’s something.”
“You doing okay? Really?” The last word was offered tentatively.
I huffed out a breath, wondering that despite the years of disconnect, he could still read me so well.
“Yeah.” I wasn’t ready to bare my soul to the guy.
Maybe when I visited, I’d make a move and finally say the words aloud for the first time, and that included to myself. “Enough about me. How was your night?”
He hesitated a moment, probably debating whether to push. I was relieved when he gave me a break and answered with “Pretty fucking awesome, if I’m being honest.”
My grin was immediate after hearing the smile in his voice. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. The acts were amazing, and the atmosphere… shit, it was good fun, mate.”
“So definitely a place for you to take me when I visit?” My earlier warnings to myself flashed on red alert, but this wasn’t the first I’d hinted.
Perhaps I was a coward, but I kinda wanted Nate to just come out and ask.
The thought of him doing so exhilarated me as much as made me want to shit my jocks.
“Yeah,” he said, his tone changing, dipping quieter, lower. “There’s nothing quite like a place where you feel safe, feel like you can be yourself.”
I swallowed hard and forced myself to pay attention to the road before me. What it would be like to simply live authentically… one day. “Yeah, one day,” I murmured, fully aware I was sharing my thoughts and giving him so much.
“What time are you heading out tomorrow?” he asked, changing the subject, allowing me the reprieve I needed to shake off the emotion and longing riding me.
“Training in the morning, then we’re heading out for the next game, I think early afternoon.”
“That’s with the Tigers, right?”
Warmth unfurled in my chest that he knew the roster. “Yeah. It’ll be a tough game, but we’ll do all right.”
“I’ve no doubt. Just keep that ankle strapped, and don’t let a fucking loser push you around again.”
I laughed. “I’ll try my best. You know,” I continued before I could stop myself or think clearly, “my last game is in LA, the closest state to Australia. If you want, you could, you know, come on out and visit.” The words and the idea were out there and took shape immediately.
Longing slammed into me. It had been so long since Nate had been courtside, the thought of him being so again sent a rightness through me, a desperate need to make it happen.
Two quiet beats passed before he cleared his throat. “You want me to watch you?”
“More than anything,” I admitted. “My flight to Brissie is the week after, so, you know, we could make it a thing, a break for the two of us; let me show the sights, obviously back here where my team is. But we can then head home together for my trip.” My words were a rush, and any chance of holding back my eagerness to make it happen was dissolved with the added, “Please.”
“Let me think about it.”
“Obviously I’ll pay for your flight and—”
“Ryan,” he cut in, “it’s not about the flight or the money. Just let me have a think, okay?”
I nodded, despite being by myself, my eyes wide, wishing upon everything that he’d say yes.
“Okay, I can let you think about it.” I hesitated a moment, the next words dancing in my mind, ones that were at the core of our friendship.
No take backs, remember? Before I’d left Australia, I’d thrown out our “unbreakable” promise to each other with the naiveite of a teenager.
Back then, it had been about him heading to the States to watch me play.
The thing was, he would have done it in a heartbeat had I given him the chance. We talked about it that first year of college, but I’d thrown a spanner in the works by distancing myself and destroying our friendship.
I swallowed down the words instead, not wanting to push this with him right now.
“Listen, I’ve gotta go. My folks are expecting me for lunch.”
“Sure. Say hi for me, yeah?”
“Absolutely.” And imagining Nate’s grin with that one word, I smiled again, some of the adrenaline pumping through me evening out. “Get home safe and look after that ankle.”
I chuckled. “Will do. Talk soon.”
“Talk soon.”
When the phone cut off, I stretched out my neck, relieved my turn was coming up. Asking Nate to come out and visit may have been an impromptu request, but fuck if I didn’t want it to happen.