Chapter 7
SEVEN
NATE
Any expectations I had about the drag night were blown out the water, and some. It had been forever since I’d laughed so much or had been hit on that much either. The night was a heck of an ego boost, something I hadn’t realized I’d been missing.
I’d rolled into the cute Airbnb in the early hours of the morning after enjoying the show, dancing till my feet legit hurt, and having had so much to drink, my head had spun.
Tallis and John had taken me under their wings for a second time, simply by being so welcoming. Not only that, they’d introduced me to more of their friends, a couple of whom I’d grabbed numbers from.
I’d been missing out, having forgotten how empowering and important a tight group of friends in the community was.
After my night out, I was on my way to getting that back.
A week had passed since then, and I’d texted a couple of guys I’d met and even arranged for a quiet drink at Bar QK one night. My week had also sped by with daily texts from Ryan, and his invite still unanswered.
Every time I thought I’d decided, I wigged out, doubting myself.
My phone pinged, and I opened the text, immediately laughing.
Ryan:
Remind me never to eat grits again. I swear, they’re the devil’s cum.
Me:
Shit, warn a guy with a text like that, mate. Nothing like opening a conversation with devil’s cum. And grits?!? Is that the weird breakfast thing?
Ryan:
Yep, also known as the devil’s cum. That shit is gross. Went out for breakfast this morning, and I’m still gagging on the memory of the stuff.
I paused, my brain immediately drifting to Ryan tasting cum and gagging.
I gripped my dick through the denim of my jeans, grateful I was in my office behind my desk.
Dick twinges at work weren’t the best at any time of the day, but when I was due to head out and cover Patrick for his morning break in fifteen, yeah, I needed to get on top of that.
Me:
Best I don’t touch on any of that. Shouldn’t you be sleeping or something?
It would have been so easy to jump all over his words, and maybe ten years ago, I would have, but with the uncertainty between us, I didn’t want to push it too much.
My heart had been broken once already. Me flirting so obviously…
. I shook my head, aware it hadn’t been the first time we’d flirted by text, but fuck if I wasn’t terrified I was heading for a fall.
Ryan:
Too wired to sleep.
Me:
***
Ryan:
Just thinking about my visit… and yours???
I winced. Ryan hadn’t broached the subject since he’d asked. I wasn’t surprised he’d let it slide for so long. While we’d both changed, grown over the years, some traits were most definitely the same.
Ryan’s lack of tenacity being just one of many.
Me:
I’m thinking about it.
Ryan:
What can I do to make it happen?
I snorted a humorless laugh, aware I no longer needed to worry about my stiffening junk. The potential answers to Ryan’s question were numerous. Don’t hurt me. Don’t let me fall for you again. Though for the latter, I wasn’t sure I’d ever stopped. Don’t abandon me. Promise to always be there.
I released a heavy sigh, hating I felt like a needy dickhead for my heart’s inner ramblings. ’Cause that was definitely what they were. My heart was the driving force to all things Ryan-related.
Me:
Give me time.
Dancing dots appeared immediately, and I swallowed hard, waiting for his response.
Ryan:
I’ll give you everything and anything I can. Including another sorry and a promise not to be a fuckhead again.
A loud snort tore out of me. I seriously wanted to visit and spend some time with the man. Get to know him all over again. He’d been my best friend once. After these weeks of exchanges, he was already vying for the top spot again. Not that there were any other contenders.
Me:
Not being a fuckhead is a good quality. As is not complaining about the taste of devil’s cum.
And I totally went there, already rolling my eyes at myself for my inability to stick to my word. That’s what Ryan did to me, though. He drew out the playful side of me, the ridiculous flirting, and a little of my bravery too.
Ryan:
Ha! If you do visit, we’ll see how you handle it.
Me:
The taste of cum has never been an issue, loser. Bring it.
There it was. Again. And when he responded with laughing emojis, I simply shrugged and laughed right with him.
LATE MARCH
Ryan:
Why do kings always scream when they cum?
Because it’s customary to announce when royalty arrives.
Why do cum shots drip into belly buttons?
It’s seamen trying to get to the navel base.
The grin on my face was goofy, but how could it not be when I woke up to these god-awful texts from Ryan. It was after six in the morning, so I had a little time to kill before I needed to get my butt into gear.
Me:
Really?
I waited a few moments to see if he had his phone on him, but when he didn’t respond after a couple of minutes, I suspected he was training or something. His next game wasn’t until tomorrow, so I supposed he could already be traveling.
Still wearing a grin, I got myself sorted for the day and headed downstairs, greeting Ivy with a kiss on her head and the same to Amber, who was feeding her.
“Morning. Ivy didn’t wake you in the night, did she?”
“Nope.” I put the kettle on to boil and looked at Amber properly. “Rough night?”
“You saying I look like shit?”
I snorted a laugh. “I wouldn’t dare.”
Amber smirked. “Honestly, she wasn’t too bad. Just once, but it took a while to get her to sleep.”
“You have a busy day?” I asked.
“Not really. There’s a module online I need to finish up, but I should manage okay between naps.”
I nodded. “Well, if you can’t, let me know by three, and I should be able to finish up early. Dad’s in town today and can close up for me, so I can head home early and look after her for you.”
Her smile softened. “Thank you. Seriously, I’m sure you’d prefer to be back at your own place by now. I already feel guilty that we’re cramping your lifestyle.”
I snorted. “What lifestyle?”
Amber raised her brows as she lifted Ivy to her shoulder to burp. “Exactly. You’ve been out twice… twice… recently. You’re young and hot. Shouldn’t you be going out and getting some? Hell, I really wish you would, as who the hell knows when the next time I’ll be able to.”
I scrunched my nose. “I really have no desire to hear about anything at all, as in ever, about you getting any. And there’s not a chance I’ll be sharing stories with you either.
” I shuddered. Amber was virtually my kid sister.
While she was a mum, she was still a kid and probably still would be when she was forty.
“So, there are stories to tell?” Her brows waggled up and down. “Seriously, let me live vicariou—”
“Not a chance.”
She huffed out a forlorn sigh. I laughed and went back to making my coffee now the water had boiled. Stories? I thought. Chance would be a fine thing.
Next weekend, I was meeting up with a couple of my new friends at the same bar, and Lenny, one of the guys who worked there, had been a little flirty. But there was a “but,” one which pissed me off.
Ryan “pain in the butt” Broadwater was firmly back under my skin. And sending me jokes about cum. I shook my head at myself. Maybe I just needed to get him out of my system. Even with that thought in mind, I opened up Google and started a search on cum jokes.
EARLY APRIL
The bar was packed, but knowing the owner’s husband apparently meant that Tallis had snagged a big booth.
There were no complaints from me. I’d had a busy week at work and had got into the habit of staying awake late into the night texting or talking to Ryan, which meant while I was knackered and needed sleep, I was looking forward to a fun night while sitting on my backside.
“So, have you decided yet?” The question came from Tallis and pulled my attention away from Lenny serving at the bar. He’d caught my eye a time or two, had even thrown me a wink, but I was still unsure if he was flirty or friendly.
“About?” I asked.
Tallis rolled his large green eyes at me. “That friend of yours in the States and making a trip.”
I grunted in response, choosing to take a pull from my bottle of beer instead. Tallis was a good guy; his partner was great too, but Tallis and I had become firm friends, resulting in me oversharing last week about all things Ryan.
“If you’re still friends with the guy….”
I glanced back at him, understanding the direction of his trailed-off words. “It feels so much more complicated than that.”
He nodded and leaned forward. “Complicated could be worth it, though, right? You get a trip to the States, spend time with one of your best mates….”
When he spelled it out like that, it seemed pretty straightforward, until I considered the ache in my heart the last time he’d left, and then the added pain when I had to accept I’d lost him for good.
And that was just with friendship. Now, with the casual sharing of info, I was more and more certain that Ryan was not straight.
But everyone knew how assumptions could make an ass out of… well, me.
“I’m leaning toward heading out to see him. It’ll be good to spend some time with him before he heads home and is focused on his family,” I admitted.
Initially, Amber had been a little leery once she’d learned of her brother’s upcoming visit, but that hadn’t lasted long.
While the girl was as tough as nails, she loved her brother fiercely.
Sure, she was pissed at him, but the look was there, clear as day, knowing she’d be seeing him again and that he’d meet her daughter. And Gran was crazy excited.
The old coot was as fearless and stubborn as ever, and while her meds had really improved her health over the past couple of months, we were all aware she’d never be a hundred percent again. Old age didn’t stop for anyone.
“I say go for it. I think you’re making a good decision,” Tallis said. I smiled in response, hoping he was right.