Chapter 20
TWENTY
RYAN
Waking up tender and content, I huffed out a happy sigh and clung to Nate like a koala did a gum tree. A wisp of a moan swept over me at contact. His ass rubbed seamlessly against my morning wood.
Last night had been incredible. When he’d fucked me, all gentle and sweet before losing control and absolutely annihilating me with his intensity, right then, the wish for our future I’d shared with him felt a hundred percent right.
Even now, no longer riding the high of lust and orgasms, certainty settled into my chest.
“Morning.” Nate’s gruff voice made my balls tingle, remembering a similar tone when I’d finally fucked him from behind. Shamelessly, I wedged my dick between his thighs, flush with his buttcheeks, and I kissed his neck.
“Morning.”
Nate chuckled as I got myself extra comfortable between his thighs. He peered over his shoulder at me. “You doing all right there?”
I nodded, my gaze connecting with his before I tugged the sheet off and leaned my chest away a little.
The view as I looked down, my cock snug and totally content, was a hell of a way to wake and get the day started.
“I am now,” I muttered gruffly, moving my hips just so, groaning when the sensitive head knocked against his balls, gifting me with his breathy moan.
“Best way ever to start the day,” I panted, my gentle thrusts continuing.
The urge to grab the lube was intense; the rub could be so much sweeter with a smooth glide, but that would require disconnecting.
No chance that was happening.
“Pretty fucking perfect if you ask me.” The tease pushed back against me.
My gaze whipped to his, and I smirked at the desire reflected in his dark brown eyes.
Somehow my thrusts didn’t falter, but when he made a show of licking his fingers and shifting his hand out of view, my steady rhythm stuttered.
As soon as I saw his arm move, his muscles strain, I went to town, rutting against him, careless of the dry friction.
Instead, my focus was on the way his thighs and the crease of his ass gripped my cock.
On the way, his small grunts ramped me up.
Until finally, and even quicker than last night, my balls drew high, my spine tingled, and after two frantic juts of my hips, I released between his legs with a raspy moan.
The whole of my body shuddered, and I quickly pressed close, looping my arm around Nate. His mouth sought out mine, our tongues clumsily tangling as I reached for his dick. Finding purchase, I spread my fingers over his and helped jack him off.
Nate’s grunts were loud and wild, and I eased back out of the kiss, wanting to watch him unravel.
He didn’t disappoint.
With a couple more jerks, Nate gasped, his eyes slamming closed, pink touching his cheeks. Warmth spilled onto our joined hands.
“Fuck.” I tugged him back. “Want to taste you so bad.”
Startled as I nudged him to his back, Nate gazed at me through half-closed lids, his mouth gaping. His mouth fell open even wider when I licked his shaft, lapping up the taste of him.
“Fuck, I’m sensitive,” he grumbled as I wrapped my lips around his softening dick.
I grinned but slowed down. When I did so, a happy sigh spilled from Nate. Finishing with a final lick to his stomach, I peered up. “Not quite clean. A shower’s needed.”
“Your spunk is in crevices I didn’t know existed,” he sassed, and my laugh tumbled free. “Not sure I can feel my legs yet, though.”
My laughter settled and morphed into a broad smile, and I hummed in approval.
Nate quirked his brow at me. “Why do I get the feeling the thought of me numb and fuck-fogged makes you far too happy?”
“Fuck-fogged? Nice. I like making you fuck-fogged. It should be on my to-do list every day possible.”
The gaze Nate sent my way was all soft and full of question. “Every day, huh?”
I shrugged, aware my cheeks heated. “Shower, food, then I think we need to figure this out.” Determination drove my words.
“This out as in our future and what you said yesterday?” While Nate’s words were clear, curiosity sparked in his eyes. I also felt the slight tremble of his limbs. I didn’t need to ask why that was. We were in this together, both filled with as much love as uncertainty.
Tired of second-guessing and of letting my heart play second fiddle, I bobbed my head. “About our future and making us work, yeah.”
When he smiled, a slight shimmer forming in his eyes, my heart leaped so fucking high that not even a buzzer beater could have made me feel so ecstatic or sure I was doing the right thing.
It didn’t take long to wash up and prepare breakfast from the bunch of food I’d brought with us yesterday.
Having eaten fruit, cheese, and bread, we took our second mugs of coffee out onto Nate’s back porch. While he had neighbors, there were plenty of trees and bushes around to give us complete privacy.
“I’m just going to come out and say all the shit floating around in my mind, okay?”
Despite the gentle smile of reassurance Nate directed my way, he was on edge. Since I’d been a mess of overthinking, I didn’t for a moment expect I’d be the only one.
“Okay,” he answered. He released a steady breath and indicated for me to continue.
Amongst the quiet rustle of the leaves in the trees, I focused on being as open and as honest with him as I could.
If I couldn’t manage that, I didn’t deserve Nate.
A spark of certainty flickered to life as I said, “I’m not yet ready to share with the League, the media, that I’m gay, nor that I’m in love with my best friend. ”
Emotion flickered in the depths of his eyes, but Nate carefully controlled his reaction and didn’t interrupt.
“I will be, but I can’t give a timeline. Pressure is shit at the best of times, and a promise beyond loving you and putting you above all else, outside of the commitments of my contract, is a lot. I don’t want that hanging over either of us.”
I paused for a beat, but he stayed quiet, so I continued.
“I want to tell Sutton and Jayden about the two of us, if that’s okay.
I know we’re not on the same team anymore, but they’re my friends, and I want them to know.
” I swallowed thickly. “Honestly, at some point I expect this’ll blow up in my face, so I’ll—we’ll need all the support we can get. ”
Sutton especially had been far from subtle before I’d left the States. The guys had their suspicions; I was sure of it. It felt right, good to share this with them.
Reaching for Nate’s hand, I willed my pulse to settle. “Will you move to the States with me? I know it’s more complicated than that because of visas, but I love you and want a future with you.”
Pink crept up Nate’s neck, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. His silence was also beginning to freak me out.
“What do you think?” My question dipped low, doubt beginning to sneak in. Plan B was always an option, one I’d share with him regardless. Until I did, I needed a reaction.
“And what am I supposed to do in Vegas when it’s no longer the off-season? I have no idea how visas work, but I can’t imagine there’s a need for someone who knows about farm supplies and can run a store in the middle of the desert.” There was no challenge in Nate’s question, just genuine curiosity.
“That’s something we can work out together, right?” I lifted a shoulder. “I don’t have all the answers. I just know I want us to be together.”
Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, Nate stared out into the distance.
“And I’d be playing your friend who’s moved from Australia to just hang out with you?
” While he wasn’t quite incredulous, I could see he was struggling.
“Shit, Ryan, everything inside me is screaming at me to say screw it and take the risk.” Hope flickered to life until he opened his mouth again.
“But you can’t believe anyone is going to buy we’re ‘just’ friends, unless you plan to keep me locked away in your rental. ”
The hammering of my heart made it difficult to concentrate. What was worse was I’d thought the exact same things, debated the shit out of it. “Well, I did say I expected it will all blow up.”
“No.” Nate shook his head, and I froze. No? “I don’t mean no no.”
“Fuck,” I huffed out on a gasp.
Nate squeezed my hand. “I mean no, that can’t be how it happens.
You need to control the narrative, especially as with no uncertainty me being there, hanging out, and all but being attached to your hip, the truth will come out.
Based on what you’ve said and what I know, you don’t want to be outed by the gossip rags, or anyone, in fact. Fuck, no one does.”
My breath stuttered, my hands shaking a little. That was exactly what I didn’t want.
“What worries me,” he continued, this time brushing his thumb against my cheek, “is that you’ve made it absolutely clear you don’t want to be under the microscope any more than you are, and you don’t want to be the League’s only out queer player.
I won’t be the reason you become any of those things. ”
“But I’m willing to for you,” I rushed to say—eventually went unsaid—but Nate was already shaking his head. I took a breath, frustration clawing its way to the surface.
“Just stop and think,” Nate said before I could press on. “You have to do this for you. You do it for me, and one day, if it all goes balls up, you could blame me, resent me.” Sadness laced his words.
“I could never resent—”
“You may not think so, but you could. I just want you to spend some real time working this out.” He scrunched up his face, saying, “Yesterday, you were riding the high of your first f—”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” I leaned back and balled my hands into fists.
“I’m a grown-ass fucking man and am not just trying to get you to America so I can get a regular fuck.
” Anger swept through me, thick and fast. A tidal wave of disappointment that he could even say such a thing threatened to take me under.