Chapter 7 #3
My grin was immediate. “Come on. You wouldn’t have it any other way.” I side-eyed him, curious about his reaction, considering that none of that had happened in the past six months or so.
With a tilt of his head in my direction, he caught my gaze. “I know what you’re doing.”
“What am I doing?” I looked more fully at him, my expression a picture of innocence, which, truth be told, I was terrible at.
In the past, Sutton had told me more than once that my “innocent” face resembled a constipated marshmallow.
Since I had no clue what that even looked like, I’d accepted it with good grace and spent a week buying bags of pink and white marshmallows and emptying their contents in the most random of places.
Of course, those random places were items he owned or used, like his bedside table, locker, and glove box.
I even filled up several pairs of sneakers.
How could I have known that it would be an unseasonably hot day when I did?
Marshmallows melted grossly. He may have had to ditch a favorite pair of his Nikes.
“You’re fishing,” he finally answered.
I totally was. The past six months had been all levels of shit with the distance he’d put between us.
Miserable didn’t come close to my general state of being.
At times, I’d been annoyed that not having him by my side, in my life, all up in my business, had hit me so hard.
It was all kinds of pathetic. None of that had meant I’d missed him any less.
“You saying it’s possible to reel you in?” I bounced my brows up and down before snapping my attention away. Why the fuck did that sound like I was flirting? I frowned and tried to loosen my muscles, my head deciding to remind me at that moment to stop making sudden movements.
I hadn’t realized I’d stopped until I opened my eyes a fraction to find Sutton before me; his brows dipped with concern.
“Your head?”
The thought of nodding or moving my head made me feel sick. “Yeah,” I said quietly. Even at that volume, a fresh wave of pain slammed into me.
“You’ve overdone it.”
My usual sarcasm was swallowed, knowing he was right and not having the energy to banter.
“Let’s get you back.”
His hand gripped mine and held on tight, the feel of his palm a steady comfort that perhaps should have surprised me. But that was the thing. Sutton and I were tactile as fuck, so his touch was grounding and precisely what I needed.
We made slow progress back to the rental, my head alternating between a groggy spin and a steady pound. Once I leaned against the warm metal, I closed my eyes. “I don’t have any pain meds with me.”
“It’s a good job I do.”
I managed a smile, because of course he did, and lifted my eyelids a little as he opened the door and ferreted around in the glove box.
“The water’s not cold.” He passed over the bottle, along with a couple of pain pills.
“Thanks.” I swallowed the pills, flushing them down with tepid water. “What would I do without you?” As I spoke, my gaze caught on his, a clear thread of seriousness behind my words.
Sutton twisted his lips before offering me a smile. “It’s a good thing you won’t have to find out.”
A fizz in my gut took me by surprise, quickly picking up speed and zipping to my chest as it bounced unceremoniously around there. “Fuck, are we having a moment?”
His eyes sprang wide, and he took a step back, moving out of my space completely. Regret at the distance I’d created by letting my mouth run hit me square in the chest. And as he released a forced snort while ushering me into the passenger seat, confusion rose to the surface.
My reactions were freaking me out. On the one hand, this was Sutton, who I’d not so secretly missed a fuckton. It had legit hurt when he’d kept his distance. Surely my reaction to him being here now was a result of my relief.
But if that was the case, why, as he leaned into my space and tugged my seat belt across me since I was sitting there staring at him like an idiot, did I close my eyes and fucking sniff him?
“You okay?”
“Huh?” I asked, following his movement as he put on his own seat belt.
“You spaced out and held your breath there.” Concern dipped his voice lower than usual, and his gaze darted around my face.
“Just tired.” My half-truth only had him hesitating a moment before he started the engine, pressed a few buttons on the satnav, and pulled onto the road.
A hand on my shoulder jerked me awake, my eyes fluttering before reclosing.
“Hey, we’re back. Let’s get you inside, and I’ll make you lunch, then you can go to bed.”
I smiled at Sutton and dragged my eyes open fully. “Satnav worked then?” My sleepy voice filled the cab. “Not in the middle of the desert or anything?”
“Once,” he said, lips twitching. “That happened the one time, and you’re the one who programmed in the address.” With a roll of his eyes, he climbed out of the SUV.
Unclipping my seat belt, I stretched, smirking when Sutton opened my door. “You wait till I tell your mom about what a gentleman you’re being. You sure your family aren’t Southern?”
“How about you ask my mom that and see if she’s still willing to have you over for goulash nights.”
“Hell no.” Once out of the car, I stretched again, following up with a giant yawn. “Goulash nights are the best. You will not take them from me ever again.”
A flash of emotion crossed over Sutton’s features. “Never again,” he offered softly, and there went my heart. He cleared his throat and indicated toward the small house. “Come on. Get your ass moving.”
The late-morning sun brushed against my skin as we took the few steps to Nate’s uncle’s place. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“What’s that?”
“Not being in the spotlight, being able to walk along the creek, be here. Relaxing.”
At my side, Sutton nodded. “Yeah. I know it’s part of the price for playing pro, and we have to deal with it, but I could get used to not having the attention.”
I angled my head to look at him. “You could, as in, be out of the spotlight?”
He shrugged. “One day, sure.”
I exhaled, realizing I was relieved he wasn’t saying now. I wasn’t sure how I felt about what he said. “So you’re not ready to do a Ryan, fall in love with a guy, retire, and escape to normality?” While I smiled, a niggling ball of something I struggled to put a name to rolled around in my stomach.
The slightest of movements in his shoulder had my eyes springing open. Why was he tensing? Fuck, was he thinking of retiring? Was “one day” closer to today?
Reaching the screen door, he pulled it open and unlocked the front door. “Why don’t you go wash up, and I’ll get started on lunch?”
Not sure if I was disappointed or relieved he hadn’t answered me, I paused in the main room as he headed to the kitchen. I sighed and went to the bathroom. While my head was no longer pounding like a jackhammer—the painkillers and ten-minute nap having done their jobs—it felt muddled.
As I washed the sleep from my face, I thought back to my half-joking question about having a moment and considered his reaction.
Patting my face dry, I wondered what “a moment” would actually look like between us.
I paused and glanced at my reflection, focusing on my mouth.
The last person I’d kissed was Sutton, so many months ago.
While I’d had ample opportunities, and when drinking I’d been tempted, I hadn’t been feeling it.
Maybe that should have made me feel a little pathetic.
“Yo, stop preening like a peacock. Your sandwich is ready.”
My gaze latched on to his through the reflection. He stood in the open bathroom doorway. The longer I looked, the deeper the lines between his brows formed.
“You’re freakin’ me out, man. What’s going on?”
I turned, leaning back against the basin. “You know, you’re the last person I kissed.” His brows shot high, eyes widening. “Do you think that’s weird that I haven’t been partying much and getting laid?”
Straightening out his features, Sutton cleared his throat. “Season’s been busy. I don’t think many of the guys have been partying.”
I nodded. “True, but they’ve been complaining about not having the time. Me? I haven’t wanted to.”
“Okay?” He dragged out the word.
“So you don’t think it’s weird I haven’t been interested?”
Sutton’s gaze was as uncertain as it was unwavering. “Look, Jay, our season has been shit, and I know I’m pretty much responsible for that.” He didn’t need to clarify. “We haven’t talked about it, and honestly, with your accident and how we’re just sort of moving on, I wasn’t sure if we needed to.”
I opened my mouth to speak but stopped at the shake of his head.
“Listen, I’m sorry, okay. I got lost in my mind this season, got caught up with shit, and that’s on me, not you.
I kinda surprised myself at my reaction, truth be told.
” He stopped speaking and leaned against the doorframe.
While he gathered his thoughts, I couldn’t help but agree with the last thing he said.
Sutton was a certifiable genius. But more than that, he was confident, and while he wasn’t cocky and talkative, he spoke his mind and wouldn’t dream of holding back when it came to defending the injustices of the world. So him shutting down had apparently surprised us equally.
Before I could censor myself, which I knew I really should, I did the usual and asked the random shit on my mind. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you been hooking up this season?” I held my breath and couldn’t even pretend that I didn’t know why. If Sutton said yes, there was no doubt jealousy would rear its ugly head.
That shouldn’t be so surprising, as I coveted our friendship and was a needy fucker.
Seriously, I’d threatened to take out more than one player if they tried to hang out with my friend without me.
Sutton was my best fucking friend, and everyone knew it.
There was so much wrong with my behavior.
I wasn’t a complete narcissist that I didn’t recognize that, but still, there was no denying the green-eyed monster would be a cockhead if Sutton answered yes.
As clear as day, I could tell he was considering not answering. The swell guy I was, I quirked my brow at him in challenge. He narrowed his eyes at me, replying, “No.”
My shit-eating grin was as immediate as it was bordering on psycho levels on par with the Joker.
“Just shut the fuck up and come and eat.” He turned and left me following, a legit bounce in my step and curiosity thrumming through my veins. Did I want to kiss Sutton again? More to the point, why did that question fill me with a thrill of anticipation rather than dread?