Chapter 19 #2
It was my birthday, which I always spent with Sutton. We always headed to my favorite Mexican restaurant if we were local, ending the night back at mine or his with a Hollywood action movie.
This year that had not happened.
There hadn’t been a game on my birthday. Nor had there been a birthday text from my best friend.
My solution had been to call some of the guys, who’d made it their mission to get me wasted when they discovered it was my birthday.
I didn’t make it home that night, instead staying at Morgan’s pad.
The following day he’d told me none of the others would take me as I’d vomited in the cab.
That was after getting us kicked out of the club for trying to strip.
I’d been grateful I didn’t remember a thing.
“Here you go.” A new beer was placed in front of me.
“Thanks.” I picked it up and took a generous couple of gulps. The momentary distraction from talking with a fan was gone, my brain too full of Sutton. Fuck, I’d thought dating women could be hard work. Dealing with this mess with Sutton made me reconsider that.
“You doing all right over here?”
My gaze snapped to Blake’s. “You in a relationship, Blake?”
Surprise registered on his expression. “Yeah.”
I mulled that over, taking my glass in both hands and spinning it slowly around. “Been in one for long?”
“Three years now.”
“It get any easier?”
A small smile settled on his mouth. “Relationships can be hard work. But when you meet the right person, going all in, warts, intricacies, and all are totally worth it. But I’m not sure ‘easier’ is the right word.
Sometimes I’m still taken by surprise, kept on my toes, and have to think through my reaction. ”
“She’s worth it then?”
He angled his head and examined me. “He’s worth it, yeah.”
“Shit, man, sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.”
“No, but still, always the assumption, right? I was brought up with totally open and accepting parents, yet immediately I assume people are straight.” My brows dipped low.
“What the fuck’s with that?” I shook my head and finished off my almost full-to-the-top beer.
When I finished, Blake’s brows were high.
“I’m serious. I’m still thinking shit like that, yet I’m bi or queer or whatever the fuck label I’m meant to be, and I still make assumptions.” I shook my head, pissed off with myself. “I can’t even get this right. I swear—”
“Hey, man.” Blake latched on my forearm, stopping my tirade. “There’s only a few of the locals here, but you were getting a little vocal.” He pulled away after a light squeeze.
The fire inside me doused quickly, and my shoulders sagged. “Sorry. Thanks.” I took a quick glance around, and no one seemed to be paying any attention.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on. Sure, I’ve seen some press, but I know to absolutely not believe even half of what’s posted or printed.
All I do know is if some of what I’ve read is right, it sounds like you’ve gone through a big change and realization recently.
So give yourself a break. And as for labels…
” He shrugged. “You’re not on anyone’s timeline but your own.
Figure yourself out, what you want, what feels right.
When you’ve got that sorted, focus on your relationship.
If you see a future together, you’ll work it out. ”
Absorbing his words, something tight loosened a little in my chest. “You know what they say about bartenders doubling up as counselors… well, I think you’d give the guy I know at Montview a run for his money.”
A large smirk appeared immediately on Blake’s face. “Is that right?”
“Sure is.”
Blake chuckled and shook his head. “Best not tell Mark that.”
Startled, my brows shot up. “You know Mark?”
His smirk turned into a knowing grin. “You could say that.”
Just as I was about to ask a question, the bar door opening pulled my attention away and directly to the man of conversation. Smiling softly, Mark entered, and from that look alone, it was clear he knew something about what was happening.
I sighed and turned to Blake. “Isn’t there some sort of confidentiality or something that exists between barkeep and patron?” I groused, not really pissed off.
“I think that’s something between you and a priest or you and your counselor.
And he just happened to text me a few moments ago, and I might have mentioned I had a runaway who looked in need of some company.
” He shrugged, gaze moving to Mark. A very different smile lit his face, and I immediately knew who Mark was to him.
“Huh, you’re Mark’s dreamy boyfriend the guy’s mentioned a time or ten.” I shook my head and smiled. “Mark, seriously, man. Blake’s going to be gunning for your job.”
“Is that right?” Mark slipped onto the barstool next to me, offering his boyfriend a grin and me a concerned stare.
“Dreamy?” Blake cut in and bounced his brows up and down.
“Hush, it’s all lies.” Leaning up and over the bar, Mark accepted a kiss from Blake. I took a cursory glance around, and the few patrons here didn’t pause from drinking or even bat an eye.
“Beer?”
Mark glanced at my beer and nodded. “That’d be great, thanks.”
“Coming right up.” Blake left us to go and pour Mark’s drink while I focused on my glass.
“You just had beer?”
I cast a look at my old friend. “Nope. Something about cum and pussy.”
He snorted. “Which was your favorite?”
Angling to look at him, I narrowed my gaze. “You a mind reader?” When his brows shot high in question, I shook my head. “Just, that’s a question I asked myself earlier, and I decided on the cum.”
Concern crinkled his forehead. “Why do I have a feeling we’re not actually talking about shots?”
“Just seemed, I don’t know, like telling or something.”
“I think it just means that the cream and the Baileys is creamier and sweeter, and I’ve seen how much creamer you take in your coffee, so it’s not a surprise.
There a reason you’re reading more into this?
” A beer appeared on the bar in front of Mark, but rather than sticking around, Blake moved away to the far side of the bar, giving us space.
“You tell me?”
Rather than answer straight away, he took a small pull of his beer.
When he placed it back on top of the polished surface, he said, “I’m a counselor by profession, but I’m also your friend.
” He tilted his head, examining me. “You know, as soon as I read about you and Sutton in the media, it was my idea to get you involved?”
I nodded. “I kinda figured.”
“You know why?”
“Because I’m the newest gay in town?”
Mark chuckled. “Funnily enough, no. I suppose I was curious, knowing you as I do, well at least as I did. How open you were to kiss me at college gave me a heads-up that perhaps you weren’t quite as straight as you thought.
I’ve followed your career enough and have always known you and Sutton were tight.
I suppose it made me wonder why Jayden Moore, confident, a little bit cocky, and a man who’s always been a hundred percent himself and honest, why he would keep such a big thing as an engagement to his best friend a secret. ”
My stomach hollowed out, and I wasn’t sure if I was paling or my face was burning up.
All I was sure of was that I lied for shit, and the thought of continuing to do so made me nauseous.
Not willing or able to respond, I focused on my beer glass.
Condensation dripped a long line, moseying on down, taking its time.
It latched onto another drip, growing and building up speed.
It was exactly how I felt, like everything was rushing ahead and I had no idea how to stop it.
How could the best thing to happen in my life—namely falling for Sutton—have led me to this point?
“I saw the video.”
I slammed my eyes closed at his words. A weight pressed down on my chest, uncomfortable and restricting.
“I imagine millions have seen it by now.” I wasn’t even being facetious.
It was how social media worked. News outlets would be picking up the story and running with it sooner rather than later, and I expected some reporters would show up in town by the end of the day, since it was no secret Sutton and I had joined the training academy this summer.
Hell, our team had supported it, heralded it, doing a whole PR focus on it.
“Maybe. I’m just wondering why you’re here and why Sutton’s on campus looking like someone kicked his puppy.”
A humorless snort escaped when I said, “Doesn’t take a genius to work that one out. Didn’t you know that video was from a few months back, which meant I was cheating on him?” I’d intended for my words to be dripped with sarcasm, but instead, they were low, quiet, and filled with my hurt.
“Something tells me you weren’t cheating on him.” His soft words caught my attention and drew my gaze back to his.
“How can you be sure?” Fuck, my eyes stung, chest felt tight.
“Because I know years have passed by since we last saw each other, Jayden, but you cheating on anyone is not in your DNA. What’s more, it’s clear you love Sutton. You were on your way to admitting it earlier when we spoke.”
“Why do you think that?” I asked, heart in my throat. “If he’s my fiancé, wouldn’t that be kind of a given?”
His unwavering gaze searched mine. “I think when you fall in love, you’d happily shout it from the rooftops and not keep it a secret for a year.”
I huffed out a breath and wiped a hand over my face. Despite all the nonsense battling it out inside my heart, a chuckle spilled out of me. “How the hell do you do that?” I shook my head. “Am I that predictable?”
A gentle look was aimed my way. “Only to those who know you. And I also know what love looks like.” He cast a quick glance toward Blake, his smile softening even more. “It’s also clear whenever you and Sutton see each other or even talk about each other.”
I nodded and took a fortifying gulp of beer. “I know how Sutton feels about me.” While he hadn’t come right out and said those three words, he’d pretty much bared his soul to me when he’d talked about why he’d kept his distance last season. “I’ve always loved him. It was just as a friend.”
“Until now.”
“Yeah, until now.”
“So you wanna tell me what’s going on and why you’re here, Sutton’s there, and why by morning everyone’s going to think you’ve been up to no good behind Sutton’s back?”
When I hesitated, Mark reached out and squeezed my arm. “We can do this as a whole session or simply as me as a friend. Either way, I will not say a word if you don’t want me to, but it’s clear you’re unhappy, and you need to talk.”
I bobbed my head and eyed an empty corner booth; nobody was in the ones close by. “Okay. Best go and get comfy and grab a fresh beer too. You’re going to need it when you hear about the mess I’ve got myself in.”