Chapter 20
TWENTY
SUTTON
Damage control was never pretty, and since my visit to Australia, it seemed to be one thing after another.
Since coming out, Jayden and I had pretty much ducked for cover, doing the bare minimum to squash the rumors.
On top of that, any official statement had been about respecting our privacy, us confirming our support for the LGBTQ+ community, and our excitement about joining the summer program at Montview.
So while damage control had been sporadic and half-assed, we’d made sure we didn’t confirm or deny anything. Nor did we lie in any statement we made.
Sure, it pissed off our agents and didn’t make the PR team’s lives exactly easy, but gut deep I’d figured something like this would happen.
It was the only lifeline we had.
“I’m catching the next flight out. I’ve booked a suite at the Sentinel. Meet me there.”
“Why not just come here?” I asked Max.
“In the next couple of hours, the academy is going to be swarmed. Between your explosive coming out, Jayden’s injury, the two of you being honestly shady about the whole thing.
” I winced as he took a breath, not even being able to deny it.
“You know they’re going to be lapping this up.
Only a few weeks ago there was a leak that you’re getting married, and now, just a few weeks later, there’s trouble in paradise, and Jayden’s caught—”
“He wasn’t cheating on me.”
A heavy sigh ricocheted around the line. “Okay, if you say he didn’t, he didn’t, but we need to get you out of there before it becomes a circus. My job is to support you. Let me do this, okay?”
Max sounded tired. A sliver of guilt—another one to join the many—hit my chest. Both in Australia and when I’d returned Stateside, I hadn’t let him do his job. The fuck had I been thinking?
“Okay,” I agreed in defeat.
There was no holding back his exhale of relief. “Great. Just get yourself there and behind the locked doors of the suite. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”
“Okay.”
There was a beat of hesitation before Max asked, “You doing all right?”
“Not really.”
“Just hang in there, okay?”
The call disconnected, and I looked across at Jayden’s empty side of the bed. A pang of regret made it difficult to get my head straight. Even more reason to lean on Max. He hadn’t steered me wrong yet.
The bucketload of regrets weren’t going anywhere. It meant I had to get out of here after giving my apologies to Coach, then try to work out what to do.
Two things I knew. Jayden being the bad guy was not acceptable. In my panic, I’d been an asshole to him. He deserved better from me. And also there was no way I’d allow the program, either the training or the new LGBTQ+ initiative, to be affected. The thought was deplorable.
Knowing those were the main goals of my next move, I grabbed my small carry-on and packed a few things. I made sure some of my remaining clothes were visible as I did so. The thought of Jayden returning and thinking I’d skipped out on him was not okay.
I tugged out my phone, ordered a cab, and then hesitated to call Jayden. Too chickenshit to call him without a plan, I shot off a text.
Me:
I’m sorry.
I’d clear up the rest when I worked a way out of this.
Bag in hand, I sought out Coach. He frowned when he saw me with my bag.
“What can I do?”
Heat hit my cheeks. It was no surprise the rumor mill was working overtime. But as yet, the handful of people I’d seen had only asked if I was okay. Each time I’d bobbed my head, relieved that they didn’t start cussing out Jayden.
“Nothing, thanks. I’m heading out to meet with my agent. I’m sorry this has happened while we’re here. The last thing I want to do is put a negative spotlight on the academy and everything you’re doing here.”
He waved his hand, brushing aside my comment.
“Don’t sweat it, kid. We all know exactly what it’s like to live the life of a pro player.
Hell, if anything, it’s an up close and personal look for these dipshit hotshots we’re working with.
They’re dreaming of fame, of living the high-roller life while playing ball.
Sure they hear the stories, but getting to know both you and Moore, seeing this happening now in real-time…
it’s shit for you to be a lesson for them, but you know, shit happens, and you just have to step up and deal, right? ”
Gratitude helped my temperature drop a couple of degrees. “Thanks, Coach.”
“Just get on out of here. I’ll remind everyone not to talk to the press and not buy into social media bullshit. Go do what you’ve gotta do, then get your ass back here as soon as you can.” He patted me on the shoulder and returned to his desk.
With a smile, I made to leave the room, turning before I pulled the door closed behind me. “Thanks for understanding why I need to leave.”
He nodded, calling out, “Good riddance,” following up with a wink.
Head down, I headed outside to wait for my cab. I could fix this. Somehow, someway.
All my thoughts continued to spiral on the journey, the only possible end to each thread being inevitable. No more secrets and complete truths.
Not that I was talking about the media or even the public at large.
While I was a well-paid athlete living my best life and so unbelievably lucky, my life was still my own.
Plus I’d worked my ass off to be here. With that, I deserved privacy.
All I owed my fans was that I played my hardest on the court and was a decent human being.
Nothing Jayden and I had done negated that.
No. All my truths belonged to Jayden. A few to some others too along the way, but still, Jayden was what mattered.
I managed to get into the hotel suite without too much fuss. While waiting, I turned on the TV, putting on a movie just to make some noise. Not long after the end credits were rolling, the suite door opened, and in walked Max.
His smile was friendly, genuine, and I stood, greeting him with a handshake. “You get here okay?”
I bobbed my head. “Yeah. No problems.”
“Excellent.” He dropped his bag on the floor and headed straight to the kitchen area. “Coffee?”
“No, thanks. Caffeine will push me over the edge.”
At my words, he cast another glance my way, this one more assessing as he took me in. He huffed out a breath, his cheeks puffing out as he refocused on the pod machine. A few clicks and a hiss of steam later, he headed toward the sitting area and took a seat opposite me on one of the couches.
“The more I know, the better position I can be in to help you.” He winced when he took a sip of the piping hot coffee. “Lay it out for me. I’ll give you my ten cents, and then we can work this out, okay?”
I’d had nothing but time to think when the movie had played, and I’d waited for Max to arrive. I hadn’t checked social media, only glancing at my cell to see if Jayden had returned my message. He hadn’t.
With a bob of my head, I told him everything.
The realization a year back about my feelings for Jayden.
My panic, the word “fiancé” leaking from the hospital, our escape to the outback, Jayden, in that sweet, adorable way of his, telling me he thought us being together wasn’t as crazy as it sounded.
And then the here and now. Our commitment to the LGBTQ+ community, my desire not to make a mockery of everything Montview was hoping to achieve.
And, of course, the video of Jayden not actually cheating on me since we hadn’t been a couple at the time.
I didn’t get into Jayden telling me I’d been his last kiss and the contradiction of the video. Nor did I mention Pearce.
By the end of it, I grabbed a beer from the bar, emotionally spent and a headache looming. Looking over at Max as I sat back down, I held his gaze.
“Let’s take a step back a moment,” he said, ankle crossed on his thigh and his foot bobbing up and down. “You and Jayden are in a committed relationship, correct?”
I nodded, feeling like I was back in high school. Max wasn’t that much older than me, but with his black-rimmed glasses, crisp shirt and well-pressed pants despite his flight, and his confident demeanor, I felt very much the pubescent kid in this scenario.
Heck, since I’d fallen for Jayden, I’d felt this way in general. Perhaps it came with that giddy feeling of being in love.
“At no point have you confirmed or denied being engaged or even when the engagement started.” He’d moved on to making statements.
“Jayden hasn’t been dishonest or strayed from your relationship.
” I held back my wince at that, thinking about Jayden not telling the truth.
It was still something that didn’t make sense.
Needing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I remained quiet so Max could continue with his processing.
After a beat, he looked me dead in the eye, stating, “I don’t get it.”
Taken aback, I frowned. “Don’t get what exactly?”
“Why you're freaking out about this. That’s assuming Jayden is freaking out too.” He left it hanging, knowing full well I hadn’t mentioned where Jayden was. I may have left out the part about my reaction to the video.
With a grimace, I said, “I may have reacted badly to the video and panicked. Jayden went off somewhere.”
Max’s brows shot high. “And you don’t know where? Has he called his agent? Anyone?”
I shrugged, feeling lousier by the minute. That I’d spiraled over the last year, then had a crisis figuring out my sexuality, then acted like this, pissed me the fuck off.
I stood up and shook my head. “I need to fix this and find him.”
“While I agree, you traipsing around the place isn’t going to work.”
“Neither is me hiding here.” For crying out loud, who had I become?
“Hold on. Let’s get back to me saying I don’t get it. Why not just admit you didn’t get together until you were in Australia? That Jayden did nothing wrong? Nothing you’ve said or done will compromise… hell, anything as far as I’m concerned. If this is your pride—”
“It’s not,” I snapped.
In response, Max quirked a brow at me. He’d been my agent since going pro. He knew me well. While we didn’t socialize, our professional relationship meant we had a firm handle and read on each other.
When he didn’t say anything, I shook my head. “It’s not,” I repeated, even as I forced myself to open up to the possibility that it was exactly that.
“Listen.” Max sat forward. “You’ve always been the unmovable rock.
The voice of reason. The man who processes everything, weighs up the odds, and does the right thing.
The man who everyone, especially Jayden, depends on.
Whatever you’re going through, been through, struggling with, heck, embracing and loving, that’s all just the next step.
It doesn’t mean you’ve lost any of those qualities. But I know that brain of yours.”
I grunted and leaned back, exhaling loudly. “People keep having to talk me down and help me get my emotions to make peace with my head.” I shrugged. “It’s weird, man. That’s usually my job.”
Max nodded. “So maybe it’s your turn to let others support you for once.”
“Everything you’re saying, I understand. I agree with. But it’s alien as fuck, letting go.”
“That’s just the control freak inside you talking. It’s not a weakness.”
I managed a smile. “I know. You know I could spout off about toxic masculinity for days.” But he was right. It wasn’t about feeling weak. None of it was about that. Letting someone who wasn’t me take the reins, though, was the difficulty. It didn’t help knowing I’d screwed up, time and time again.
“I know I’m not perfect.”
Max scoffed, and I flipped him off.
“But I regret letting the story run about me and Jayden when it wasn’t true.” There was still Pearce I would need to apologize to.
“Then maybe you wouldn’t have ended up with the revelations you’ve had.” The asshole chuckled when I blanched. “Relax, I’m sure it was meant to be, and whatever other romantic crap you want to assign to you figuring things out. Just find a way to forgive yourself for not always being perfect.”
“And maybe that pride thing you mentioned holds a ring of truth to it,” I admitted.
He laughed. “Okay, so what’s the plan? Who are we talking to? And how much groveling is necessary to make sure Jayden doesn’t dump your sorry ass?”