Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
JAYDEN
On surprisingly steady legs, I headed back to campus. I’d brushed off Mark’s suggestion I call a cab or he’d escort me. I needed the time to think.
Having spilled everything to Mark, I wasn’t surprised when he’d absorbed every word and listened intently, not once interrupting me. While he’d also shared pearls of wisdom afterward, all I needed was Sutton. Without him, I felt strangely numb.
Between our argument and my guilt at the poisonous things I’d said, I just want to shove my tongue in his mouth, suck him off, and set the record straight. Exactly in that order.
I expected he’d want to talk some more. But talk was overrated. Why hash things out when an orgasm was a hundred times more effective? Make that a joint orgasm, and we’d be blissed out and back to putting our world to rights.
I chuckled inwardly as I stepped into the courtyard, heading toward our room.
Pulling out my phone to check the time, I winced, seeing missed calls from my agent.
Adulting was the worst, as was fame at times.
I closed out his text, not wanting to read it, and noticed a handful more calls and texts I’d missed since switching my cell to silent a few hours back.
My breath hitched when I saw Sutton had texted me.
Sutton:
I’m sorry.
Relief swept through me. The likelihood of us sucking each other’s brains out seemed more imminent since Sutton had reached out to me. I was actually impressed he’d held back and hadn’t written a fifteen-paragraph breakdown of what he was sorry about. Those two words meant more.
I was all about keeping life simple. I smirked. Anyone looking back at my life would probably argue that concept, but they knew nothing. Maybe I got myself into situations and experienced life a little differently than most.
But my approach was to live life simply by taking chances and opportunities and living in the moment rather than analyzing everything to death. Sure, there’d been a few pitfalls along the way. Did I care? Not one bit.
I was here, had a career and life I loved, and a man who I felt deserved a capital L when I considered my feelings for him. That asshole Mark was too wise for his own good.
Scanning the door with my key card, I waited until the locks disengaged and entered the building. A sense of certainty and rightness beat against my chest, right alongside every certain step I took closer to our shared room.
“Jayden, you got a minute?”
I stopped in my tracks at the sound of Pearce’s voice. While Sutton was my mission and I was desperate to get to him, I liked Pearce a lot. I could imagine what he’d heard by now, so this was as good a time as any. “Absolutely.”
Turning to him, I eyed him carefully, trying to get a read on the guy. From the dip of his brows and his curious stare, whatever he thought he seemed uncertain about.
“It’s all over social media.” A wince followed, making him look younger than his twenty-four years. “You okay?”
Surprise had my eyes widening. “Yeah, or I will be as soon as I find Sutton.”
A more pronounced wince followed, right alongside a grimace.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s Sutton. He left a while back.”
The heavy thump of my heart made his words muffled. “What?” I shook my head, not understanding.
“I heard him tell Coach he was leaving. He had a bag with him, then jumped in a cab.”
Blood rushed to my ears, confusion clouding my vision. “I don’t understand.”
The hand on my forearm startled me. I hadn’t even realized Pearce had moved. “Shit, man. I’m sorry. I know there’s stuff going down. I also know not to believe half the stuff I see and hear.”
“I need to go,” I managed to say, needing to get away, go to our room. Pearce had to be wrong. There was no way Sutton had up and left.
Racing to our room, I fumbled with the lock to let myself in and switched on the light. A quick scan of the room showed me Sutton’s towel was still on the chair, and a glance in the wardrobe revealed his larger case and some of his clothes.
I exhaled in relief, just as I noticed his smaller bag was gone. Heading to the bathroom, I focused on not thinking the worst. Almost all his stuff was here. I paused when I looked at the sink. Sutton’s toiletry bag was missing.
“Fuck.” I yanked out my phone, moved to the bed, and sat down.
Maybe he just needed a night away? The thought twisted my gut.
Though could I blame him, and exactly what did he owe me?
Since dating, we’d never been apart, never had space.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I was sure more intelligent men than me would say that was unhealthy and probably have statistics about how relationships didn’t last or anything.
So what that we worked on the court like a well-oiled machine?
I knew our friendship confused most people.
And why wouldn’t it? Sutton was so together and smart, despite how much he’d tried to convince me otherwise over the past few weeks.
Me? I spoke before I figured things out and acted without thinking all the time.
It also seemed I got so drunk that I couldn’t even remember making out with some woman.
Why would Sutton want to stick around for that?
Maybe it was for the best this happened now, before we got deeper, before I screwed up his life any more than I already had.
With another look at the last message Sutton sent me, I swallowed hard.
I’m sorry.
It was funny how I’d interpreted those words so differently less than thirty minutes ago. The words could only mean that he’d left and that he’d made a mistake.
I switched off my phone and threw it on the bed.
What I was sorry for was always screwing shit up. I gave a humorless snort and lay back on the mattress, inhaling the scent of Sutton’s bodywash and his natural scent.
The banging on the door jolted me from my sleep. Wincing, I took in my surroundings.
At some point in the night, I’d stripped down to my boxer briefs and crawled under the sheets. I’d even managed to close the blinds.
What I hadn’t managed to do was get wasted. Nor did I figure things out with Sutton. It wasn’t necessary to glance over his side of the bed. I knew he hadn’t returned.
Once again the door thumped with a knock. I groaned. “Hold up.” Dragging myself out of bed and tugging my jeans up from where I’d discarded them, I yawned. I unlocked and opened the door, surprised to see Eddie standing in the doorway.
“You missed breakfast.”
I groaned and threw him the stink eye. “Seriously?”
“Get your ass showered and meet me in twenty minutes. I’ll scrounge you up some food. It looks like you need something.”
“I have no plans to leave this room today. Unless it’s to get beer or pizza.” I had no issue with feeling sorry for myself. The last thing I wanted to do was see, well, anyone. The gossip mill would have been working overtime. Dealing with that would take energy I didn’t have.
Eddie pursed his lips as he adjusted his stance, stubbornness setting in. It may have been a few years since I’d seen the man, but we’d played on the same court for a couple of years, and I knew that look all too well.
With a sigh, I brushed my hand over my face. “Why are you here, Eddie?” When he folded his arms and quirked a brow at me, I dropped my head. “You just going to stand there and not leave me alone?”
After a beat or two of silence, he leaned against the doorframe. “Just please shower and don’t forget today’s visitors.”
Guilt jolted me. How could I have forgotten today’s activities? Fuck, it was something I’d been looking forward to. Not only because I was going to be on the court, whipping the young guys into shape, but more because the Pride Youth group was visiting for the day.
“Shit, yeah, of course. Give me twenty.”
I took a quick shower, trying to get my head into what was involved in the day ahead. After dressing, I gazed around the room, looking at the unrumpled sheets of Sutton’s side of the bed. My heart pinched. Would he be back for the game? How would that even work?
I picked up my cell with a sigh, not bothering to turn it on.
Yesterday, after one long hard look at his message, I’d switched the contraption off.
The thought of listening out in case he tried to call or text but not receiving anything had been too much.
Self-preservation had kicked in, and I’d shut it down.
Maybe we’d find a way to figure this out, but feeling bruised this morning, I couldn’t even begin to start wrapping my head around how to do that.
Rushing to the canteen, I was relieved when I didn’t hear voices.
Since it was well after breakfast, the college players would already be on the court, running drills and doing some last-minute preparation for the group’s arrival.
Once inside the canteen, I looked around and saw Marian in the kitchen. She spotted me immediately and grinned.
“Eddie asked me to put this aside for you.” She reached inside the warmer and pulled out a heap of pancakes. Placing it on the tray, she set a dish of cut fruit next to it, along with a small jug of syrup.
“You made pancakes? Are they Coach approved?”
With a conspiring wink, she hushed, “Shh, if you won’t tell, I definitely won’t.”
I leaned across and planted a kiss on her rosy cheek. “You’re the best, Marian. Thank you.”
“You’re a good boy. Go and eat up.”
I chuckled. “It’s been a while since anyone called me a boy.”
Her expression turned tender, kickstarting the emotions I wanted to ignore today. “My own boy has ten years on you, Jayden, which most definitely makes you a boy.”
With a small smile, I took the plate, set it down, then went to the fancy coffee machine.
One steaming mug of coffee later, extra creamy, just like I liked my cum shots apparently, I dug into the fluffy pancakes.
I sighed, embracing the moment of contentment, not having realized how hungry I was or how much I needed the comfort food.