4#2
Time was ticking as we all sat in the waiting room. Harvey went to the back, leaving us sitting there. From my loud sighs, to Preach praying, Diamond’s legs bouncing up and down, to Foe sitting there looking as if more than Chevy was bothering him. I knew he and I hadn’t really deaded the issue with Harvey, yet kept shit light for the sake of the crew. The small tussle was nothing compared to what it could have been.
With everything going on, I knew I had to nip this shit in the bud. The truth is a nigga’s pride got in the way and normally I could be a petty ass nigga and make both of their lives a living hell, but I had bigger fish to fry, and that was Dio. So today I wanted to let all that shit go. What did it mean for me and Foe, shit I don’t know, but me, Zeus was going to try to be the bigger person.
As we waited to hear something back from Harvey, I stepped to Foe. He raised his eyes to me. “Let me holla at you for a second,”
I told him.
I could see Diamond’s and Preach’s eyes widen as Foe raised from the chair.
“Man, shit come on y’all don’t do this here!”
I heard Diamond yell.
I extended my arm out to him. “Chill, we about to chop it up real quick,”
Diamond’s eyes pleaded with ours, “Nigga is you sure? Cause I don’t think I have it in me to pull your big gorilla ass off Mighty Mouse. I just don’t dawg.”
Preach stepped over to Diamond. “Nigga stop playing. Shit is serious right now. Let them talk and we’re going to pray for Chev, hell, pray for them too,”
he said while looking at Foe and me.
Foe and I stepped right outside the hospital doors. Things between us were silent like we hadn’t been friends for over eight years.
Like he wasn’t the nigga I bust my gun for, broke bread with hell, shared a space with all over pussy. Foe ran his hands over his locs before speaking,
“Look, there is no excuse at all. The shit between me and Harvey, happened. That first night you told me to take her home, we didn’t do anything but might as well because that night something sparked. You know I’m an honest man, something Chev taught all of us. I don’t want to lie to you my nigga, I fell in love. However, if it means you and I can no longer be brothers I will let Harvey go.”
Hearing him say he fell in love with her the first night on some sucker shit made me want to laugh, then made me angry because the nigga was lusting after her the entire time. I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched Foe. I knew he was being sincere with his words and the fact that he was willing to let go of somebody he was in love with said a lot.
“Do I want to beat yo ass? Yes! Do I believe the shit you talking?Yes! Is this something I can get over? I don’t know, but what I do know is you’re my nigga, my brother, and I know at the end of this all you’re loyal to the fucking soil. If I stand here and say Harvey doesn’t deserve a good nigga I would be lying. Are you the nigga for her, yes, but you’re supposed to be my boy,”
I paused, waiting for him to intervene, but he didn’t. Instead, his eyes remained on mine just as Chev taught him.
I continued. “I’m not going to lie. If you would have asked me, should you have flicked them fucking feelings off, I would tell you fuck yeah. However, the damage is done. Dio is what is important to me right now. He is my focus. I love you my nigga and that’s word, but you broke my heart and I maybe a little pride hurt but I’m working on it,”
I told him honestly. “Also, I would never make you choose.”
Foe came closer to me. “I’m sorry, I am. I love you with yo gorilla-looking ass too. I’m going to hit the Jects and see if I can find Dio. That little nigga don’t stray too far from where he feels comfortable. I just hope Lucas didn’t get to him before I laid his ass down,” he said.
I knew Foe and I’s relationship would be a little rocky, but he was my brother, someone I needed in my life, and I was willing to go through the fire to get us back where we were. I also knew Foe knew the Jects like the back of his hand. I prayed Dio was ok because if I caught word somebody laid my brother down; I was burning this city the fuck up with no remorse.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I quickly whipped it out, thinking Dio decided to call back. When I glanced at the phone, it was from Freckles. She wanted to meet up, but now wasn’t the time. I placed my phone back in my pocket as Foe and I headed back inside. It was only moments later when Harvey came walking from the back. She gave us all the hand signal to follow her.
Everyone followed behind her except me. My feet, they wouldn’t move. The feeling that had taken over was the same feeling I got when I had gotten the call about my father. Coming into places like this just ate away at me. I could see Foe out of the corner of my eye waving for me to follow them. My feet began moving but felt weighted. As I eased my way through the hall, memories of the walk to my father’s room flashed in my mind. The sinking feeling in my stomach, not knowing what I was walking into. The feeling of me being a grown-ass man afraid to cry and to be vulnerable in front of people. It had always been my pride, much like Chev, whose pride was so big he couldn’t even tell us he had cancer.
As we continued to walk, a sign for the Mental Health Ward stood out. Another sinking feeling. I blew out a sharp breath, moving faster to get away from the area. Suddenly, everyone stopped as we all stood behind Harvey before going in.
“Look, I know this is something none of you were expecting but it’s happening, and we all know Chev. So, before y’all get up in here I want to prepare you guys,”
she explained.
The sounds of sniffles coming from Diamond made me look at him. I knew this was a lot with him losing his grandmother not too long ago. Harvey eased the door open, and we all slowly stepped into the room.
Diamond immediately lost it and broke down. “Fuck! Man, Chev my nigga!”
his voice quivered.
The sounds of the machines and all the wires, tubes, and shit stood out, making me drop my head and shake it. Seeing my nigga like this was heartbreaking.
“Lord God, I come to you right now, Lord- God,”
Preach choked up.
Chevy sat up, “None of that shit. I will be fine.”
“Fine? Nigga you sitting here with all this shit on you and you talking about being alright. For a nigga that want us to be honest, you’re the one who isn’t honest!”
Foe went off.
“Myles please,”
Harvey tried calming him down.
Fucking Myles.
“Chevy, nigga, be straight. What the fuck is up and why haven’t you said anything? Huh? Why we had to find out like this?”
I went on.
I was finding myself getting more angry than sad. He slowly raised his eyes to me. Right then, I knew my nigga was scared. I’d never seen this look in his eyes before and I knew my nigga was down bad.
“I’m sick. Shit, to be honest, I just want it to be over. The man above already has plans for me so what’s the point of trying to change what he has written?”
Something in me switched on and I swung, hitting the wall, implanting my fist right through that muhfucka. “Fuck is you talking about?!”
I shouted. “Nigga, you have purpose and you’re talking like you have nothing to live for when we are all standing here. You really sounding like a nigga I once called my father!”
I snapped.
“Chevy, they have treatment, different shit we can try, what kind of cancer is it? Huh?”
Diamond asked.
He cleared his throat, then ran his hand over his head. He always did that shit when he didn’t want to talk about something. For me, it only struck agitation. “Hello! Nigga don’t get quiet now when yo ass barking any other time Chev!”
He cut his eyes at me. “I know I’m in this bed, but don’t make me wrap one of these cords around yo shit and put yo ass down. I have brain cancer, they said it’s like a tumor or some shit.”
The sound of Harvey sobbing loudly fucked with me. I couldn’t take it. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My nigga telling me his head was fucked up just didn’t sit right with me. I turned and left the room. As soon as I walked out my stomach curled. I rushed over to the nurses’ station, grabbed one of their trash cans, and threw up.
My nigga was dying for real, and he didn’t even feel the need to fight. That alone broke me. All of it truly made me sick, and I knew I needed to get out of here.