7
I decided to do something spontaneous with Freckles. I needed to get my mind off everything that was going on. Usually, in times when I felt overwhelmed, the first place I’d go to is the spot I shoot dice at. Gambling had become my getaway, a safe space for me to clear my mind, but right now it isn’t what I needed. I wanted to do my best to shift my energy and I felt like being with Freckles was the better option.
Once she hopped on my bike, she wrapped her arms around me and I took off. Her grip around me became tighter as I hit each corner. It had always been something about riding through the city when it was calm. It allowed you to be alone with your thoughts without all the fast-paced life moving around you. I could hear her giggles mixed with the wind in my ear; something about it was soothing. When I had gotten to my destination, we both hopped off the bike. Her eyes lit up in amazement. “You know I have never been up here. It’s fucking beautiful.”
I’d brought her to the hills that overlooked the city. I gazed at her as she took in the night’s beauty. “Shits nice,”
I mumbled.
She rolled her eyes. “You like it otherwise you wouldn’t have brought me here. Why do you act like that?”
“Like what?”
“Act like you can’t be soft. Like you got to be a macho man, shit tired.”
“Freckles please.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be soft it’s because I couldn’t be. I didn’t have time to display my emotions on my sleeve. I couldn’t when I had someone like Dio watching me expecting me to be the protector like every time, he had called me to help him.
She stepped over taking my jacket into her hands pulling me closer. “You don’t have to be that way with me Zeus. Just be you,”
she mumbled.
That little twinkle in her eyes sparked and it was like a spell she was trying to cast over me and I didn’t know how to feel about it. I pulled my eyes away. She removed her hand from my jacket walking to the edge of the hill and sitting down. I walked over to where she was and sat next to her. We chopped it up about small things. This time when she glanced at me, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but she had clearly told me she was trying to get put on to the Zoo.
I could have easily fucked Freckles and walked away like she meant nothing, but I didn’t want to. Also, I didn’t want to find myself in another situation like Harvey, let alone a situation in which I get played. I don’t think it was something I could handle.
To be honest I didn’t even know the point of me bringing her here. I quickly stood up, “Come on let me take you back.”
A bit of confusion rested on her face, but she didn’t object. Freckles hopped back on the bike and so did I. I knew if I continued down this path with her one of our feelings was going to get hurt.