16
I paced the small space of the bathroom, blowing loud breaths.
“She trying to get a nigga to keep crying like a bitch!”
I spat. “Fuck she think this is? Dr. Phil, fuck!”
I stopped pacing as I glanced at myself in the mirror. I wanted to know if I could see past my own eyes. I was a killer, a murderer, a little nigga on demon time. I eased my shirt up, glancing at my strap. “Yeah, any niggas step to me that’s they ass,”
I mumbled. “I don’t need Zeus!”
I stood straight up, gazing in the mirror. It was me versus me. Dionysus was the deity of festivity, and I was ready to be festive on a nigga’s ass. I shook my head as an image of Asia standing behind me appeared and caused me to jump and check over my shoulder.
“Nigga you trippin’,”
I muttered.
I turned the water on and splashed my face. When I raised my head, there was Ace, standing there with the bullet hole still impaled in his chest. My body flew back as fear struck me. I snatched my gun from my waist, aiming it at the mirror.
“It was an accident man,”
my voice trembled. “I-I didn’t know you were standing there my nigga you have to believe me.”
My eyes blinked rapidly as I began sweating. Both Asia and Ace stood behind me with a sinister smile and full black eyes. I was losing my mind.
“Leave me the fuck alone!”
I shouted.
The sound of Zaria at the door scared me. “You ok in there?”
she said to me.
“I-I’m fine I will be out in a minute,”
I stuttered.
I sat on the toilet, thinking. My brain was moving faster than I could catch my thoughts. How was Zeus able to deal with shit like this? I cocked the gun back as I stared down at it. “Fuck man,”
I gritted.
It wasn’t really the thought of Asia that bothered yet me killing my best friend. I felt like there was no coping with it. The shit was eating away at me and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was losing my fucking mind. I felt like I had no safe space. I knew Zaria was trying, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing felt like it was enough. The more I stared at the gun, the more the demon called out to me. I felt like the nigga had my soul, and he was pulling me in one direction while I was trying to run in a different one.
“Dio, get your shit together. Man, come on man,”
I muttered to myself.
That’s when the door was kicked in and I saw Zeus standing there. His eyes glanced at the gun, then at me. My brother’s face went damn near pale. “Dionysus!”
he yelled.
I fucking broke, I dropped the gun to the floor as my head fell in my lap. “Zeus man, I fucked up man, I really fucked up,” I cried.
I felt Zeus’s hand to my back and his head near mine, “I got you Dionysus I always have. I swear my nigga I got you,”
he whispered.
I lifted, wrapping arms around my brother. “Man, Zeus I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Zeus embraced me tightly. For the first time, I felt my brother’s love. I felt like he truly cared.
I stood in the living room waiting for Zeus to come out. When he’d gotten the call that Dio was here, the nigga hauled ass. I knew he had been worried about Dio and to know he was ok put some light in Zeus. All the guys came into Zaria’s place one after the next, except Chevy. They all had a look of worry on their face. It was this that made me want to be a part of the Zoo. They were so in sync, no matter the issue. They were always there for each other, and this is what I wanted for me and my crew.
When chevy finally came in he began glancing around like a damn detective. His eyes landed on Zaria, but she turned away from him. “The air is dry in this bitch. Where is the Peace Lillies? Sword Fern? Spider plants?”
he hissed.
Zaria’s head snapped his way, “If you want some goddamn plants go to your fucking house!”
“I want a lot of things, but it isn’t at home. Why are there candles lit, and the curtains are closed? Its fucking day time?”
She ran up in his face, “Because I was fucking!”
Chevy ran his hand down his head as he stared at her. The man’s eyes locked in on her so cold I just knew he was about to snap as his jaws clinched. I leaned over to Preach, “Are they together?”
I whispered.
A laugh fell from his lips, “Hell nah.”
“Might as well be the way they be acting weird and shit. Listen, y’all want us to leave so y’all can kiss and make up because—”
“No!”
they both said in unison.
“Chevy, please leave,”
she said to him calmly.
He glanced around her space again before backpedaling out her door and chanting, “One, two, Chevy’s coming for you. Three, four, Zaria better lock her door. Five, six, I’ll split a nigga’s shit. Seven, eight, I’m not the nigga to play. Nine, ten, I got hollow tips waitin,”
he finished.
Chevy was a piece of work. Zaria stood there, glancing as he disappeared out the door. Zeus had now walked back into the living room with Dio behind him. The emotions that rested on both of their faces said they had much work to do as family, but them being together was a relief. Foe stepped forward, “You straight little nigga?”
he asked Dio.
Dio nodded. “Good, now what the fuck happened between you and Asia?”
Who’s Asia? I mouthed to Zeus.
“Man fuck all that! Whoop that nigga’s ass, give me the belt!”
Preach yelled.
“Man Foe, she snitched on me, Lucas was ready to kill my ass, and I felt some kind of way. So, I did what any of you would have done.”
The sound of Chevy’s voice reappeared. “Dio, nigga you got to use your brain. For a little nigga that got straight fucking A’s in school you walk around this bitch airheaded. You know the Zoo don’t move like that so why would you? I never seen a smart nigga want to be dumb so fucking bad,”
He said as he came closer to Dio.
Zaria stepped in front of him, “Nigga, didn’t I say leave?!”
I could tell she was mad at him about something, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Chevy eyed her then moved closer pressing his body against hers, “Zaria said she was in here fucking and the only nigga that was in here before us is you, so tell me what’s up?”
he pointed to Dio.
Zaria went to speak, “The fucking nerve, Chevy—”
He cut his eyes at her, then landed back on Dio. Dio threw his hands up quickly. “Chev, I told her ass. She wanted to light these candles and shit. I swear on my daddy I ain’t touch her,”
Dio pleaded.
He slowly nodded. “Open them fucking curtains and blow out these cheap ass candles!”
he yelled.
“Everybody out my shit now!”
Zaria yelled.
Zaria turned to me in frustration, “Girl you sure you want to deal with these niggas?”
I glanced at Zeus and smiled. “Yes.”
“Good luck,”
she mumbled.
Everyone began leaving, “I’m having a Zoo-Mas at my crib, be there,”
Chevy winked at her then left.
Being around this crew, I learned more and more about them. I knew who I can talk to and who not to cross. They were a solid five and I pray they became a solid twelve.
Zeus hopped on his bike waving for me to come on. “What about Dio?” I asked.
“Foe is going to take him home and I’m going to take you home.”
I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to go with him, but I wasn’t a beggar. I figured the pussy I put on him he wouldn’t want to be without me. I only had another week before I was back off to Toussaint and I wanted to spend it with him. I got on the bike, wrapping my arms around him as he took off. I wanted to tell him to take me with him, but if he couldn’t make that choice on his own, it wasn’t worth it.
Zeus dived in and out of traffic as I directed him to my place. When we arrived, I noticed my bike was parked. As I got off his bike, I glanced at him, “Damn, you didn’t want me around at all!” I spat.
Zeus dropped his head, “Freckles what the fuck are you talking about?”
“My bike! Zeus if you wanted to fuck me and dip that’s all you had to say.”
He raised his eyes to me, “I haven’t fucked you yet, Sasha. Wait for me to call you. The color tonight is orange. You’re a big girl make that shit sexy. You said you’ve been watching, I’m sure you know what I like. It’s me and you tonight, I’m taking you to Zu-Topia. You asked what it was, I’m going to show you,”
he said as he hit the kickstand back away and took off.
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I knew this was my last chance to get the man I had been watching for months now.