6. Adam
ADAM
The Deadwoods are assholes.
It is no coincidence that two thirds of the Pogue siblings play for the biggest asshole team in beer league.
It is also not a coincidence that this is the only time in history the Deadwoods beat us since I started playing for the Icebreakers.
Because I’m taking their sister out on a date tomorrow and I let it get in my head.
I picked fights with every guy on the ice who isn’t directly related to The Red Plague because I couldn’t pick fights with her brothers the day before I take out their sister.
That’s a line even I won’t cross, and they knew it.
But my aggression had to go somewhere, so it went everywhere else.
I even got a ten-minute misconduct. I won’t repeat what I said, even though I was 1,000 percent correct in saying it.
But I was in the sin bin for so long I was thinking about ordering a pizza.
Meanwhile, Rhys and Lance were acting completely normal. Smiling and nodding at me. Totally fucking with my head. And it worked.
I lost every face-off in the third period.
I missed an open net. Their goalie was literally scratching his balls five feet away from the net.
My shot went wide. Corey made a sound like he was watching a horror movie.
And then there was silence. Endless silence.
Because everyone was so embarrassed for me.
Me. Currently the only former NHL player on the team. Fuck my life.
And fuck this silence in the locker room too.
Now they’re just doing this to piss me off.
You know what’s worse than silence on the ice during a game?
Silence in the shower after a game.
It’s not until I’m putting my socks on that Corey finally says, “Hey, man, you aren’t nervous about your date with Kate Pogue, are you?”
“Shut it, Corey.” I snap at him out of habit, but I am so fucking glad he said something. “I don’t get nervous.”
“Good,” Rhys says, wandering over while applying deodorant to his unbelievably hairy armpits. It looks like he’s got tiny red Pomeranian puppies up in there. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“Except that the whole town will be watching you guys tomorrow night.”
“Shut it, Corey!” Lance and I say at the same time.
“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Lance says to me. “But thanks for giving us that game. You did owe us for making the date with Kate happen. Now all you gotta do is not fuck it up.”
“First of all, I owe no one a game. That’s not how I play hockey.”
“We know,” Rhys says. “Literally everyone knows.”
“Secondly, I don’t fuck up dates. That’s not how I play women.”
“Dammit, I wish I was recording that,” Rhys says. “I would have loved to play it for Kate on the pod.”
“All right, I’m done talking to you guys about your sister.”
“Hey, you do know that Rhys and I don’t hate you, right?” Lance says. “We put up with Kate’s rants about you on the show, but we don’t agree with most of what she says. Right, Rhys?”
“Oh, for sure. I mean. Some of the stuff she says is just facts that can’t be argued, but we would never rant about it.”
“Exactly,” Lance says, patting me on the shoulder. “We were really rooting for you when you were in Chicago.”
“Thanks, man.”
“But for real, you gotta let go of the logo thing. That’s crazy.” Lance shakes his head and laughs at me.
Because he’s still an asshole.
When the Pogues and the rest of the Deadwoods have left the locker room, the other guys suddenly surround me just as I’m picking up my gear bag. “The fuck?”
“We were thinking,” Dave says. “Actually, my wife wanted me to tell you this…”
I drag a palm down the side of my face. Here we go. Here we fucking go.
“We were talking about it, all of us,” he says, gesturing to all the guys, “that we’ll back you up on redesigning our logo if you can get Kate to kiss you on the date. In public. Verified by witnesses.”
“Fuck right off.”
“You don’t think you can do it?” Corey taunts. “Is Captain Frownypants afraid he can’t get into his date’s pants?”
I get up in his face. “It is nobody’s business if I get into my date’s pants, you hear me?”
“Whoa. Down boy! Just chirping at ya, jeez. Didn’t know you liked her that much.”
“I don’t. But I am a gentleman.”
“Right,” Corey says. “Because nobody hate-listens to a podcast with a hot chick who trolls him because he’s obsessed with her. It’s just a hobby.”
God, I hate these idiots.
But what do I hate even more than these idiots?
This idiotic Icebreakers logo.
“So, are you in?” Dave asks, hesitantly.
“Let me get this straight. You’re betting against me being able to get a woman to kiss me on a date?” I shake my head. “You guys have been fighting me on this logo for two years, and this is all it’s gonna take for me to get what I want?”
“Well, it’s not just any woman,” Dave reminds me. “It’s Kate Pogue.”
“Pssh.” With a wave of my hand, I tell them, “I’m in like a slap shot. I’ll email you assholes link to my Canva design tomorrow morning so we can start nailing down a color palette.”