10. #2
“And you rocked that mullet like the queen you are!” I teased.
“Miss Kitty, have you ever thought of running away?” Brighten sang.
“What did you call me?” I snarled.
“It’s a Toby Keith lyric from ‘Should’ve Been a Cowboy,’” Brighten hurried to explain.
“Damn, girl. Overreact much?” Em asked.
“Toby Keith rocked a mullet in that video, and he was hot,” Brighten said. She winced. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”
“He needs to go on the list!” Emerald announced. “Oh, I have another one–Trace Adkins.”
I didn’t disagree with Emerald’s additions to our list, but hearing the lyrics, especially the word “kitty,” took me back to that hotel room with Nip.
“Sorry, but this is all I’ve got with me.”
I ripped open another alcohol wipe and scrubbed the area again as Ziggy said, “When I asked if you wanted to play doctor with me, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
When he hissed in pain from the burn of the alcohol, I said, “Whoever owns this fancy hotel should invest in med kits for the rooms.”
Ziggy scoffed. “I told you, if you insisted on cleaning the scratches you made, we could call downstairs and have them bring up whatever supplies you wanted.”
I tried to mimic his voice. “Hi, guys, this is the boss man. I was putting it to my lover so good that she scratched my back hard enough to draw blood. Can you send up a first aid kit so she can take care of it?”
Ziggy laughed, but I was surprised when he asked, “Is that what you are? My lover?”
“Short-time lover. Somehow you went from a one-night stand to a tour guide and weeklong orgasm-delivery guy, so I guess that’s your official title.”
“I’m a man of many talents, Kitten.”
Movement beside me yanked my thoughts back to the present. I watched Brighten stand up and press a fist into her lower back. “And since I have to pee again anyway, I’ll head inside so you can grill Jewel on why she’s got that dreamy look on her face.”
“I do not.”
“I’ve known you almost my entire life and figured out early that I should never argue with you, so I’ll leave that to Em.”
I rolled my eyes as she walked away, then turned to my friend. “I wasn’t dreamy.”
“You were so dreamy. Up in the clouds, floating with unicorns and glitter-fireworks kind of dreamy.”
“Bullshit.”
“Are you thinking about your mafioso?”
“He was only mine for a short time, and I’m perfectly okay with that.”
“You’d probably be more okay if he’d stop sending you gifts, wouldn’t you?”
“He’s a very good gift giver. Even though it kills me not to acknowledge him and send my thanks, I just can’t.”
“Because if you open that door again, you’ll be on the first flight to New York for another wild weekend?”
“Or I’ll be rearranging my vanity to make room for his toiletries when he comes here for a long weekend.”
“Avoidance is not a long-term solution, Jewel.”
“It seems to be working so far.”
Emerald scoffed. “You get fresh flowers every three days, plus other little trinkets and baubles in between, but you think it’s working.”
“It’s only been five weeks. He’ll get bored or find something shiny and forget about me.”
“I want to know what kind of magic juju you’ve got going on downstairs that makes a man like that chase you all the way across the country.”
“Maybe it’s my sparkling personality.”
Emerald burst out laughing, not even trying to resist. I laughed with her because I knew that was bullshit.
I had enough self-awareness to know I wasn’t easy to get along with, but it didn’t bother me enough to make me want to change.
If anything, I appreciated my abrasiveness because it weeded out the weaklings who irritated me more than almost anything else in the world.
Considering how long my list of irritants was, that was saying something.
“You still think about him all the time.”
I didn’t argue because she was right. Instead, I admitted, “I’m hoping that will fade with time too.”
“What is it about him that’s so intriguing, other than the fact that he’s so far away and can’t piss you off from that distance?”
“He’s so much fun to spar with and talk to. He’s smart–much smarter than he gives himself credit for. He’s funny in a self-deprecating way that makes him even sexier, and he’s not afraid to go toe-to-toe with me, verbally or in the bedroom.”
“It takes one hell of a man to do that and not end up a moaning heap curled in the fetal position in the darkest corner he can find.”
“I’m not that bad. If anything, you’re worse than I am because you psychoanalyze everyone.”
“Says the woman who looked at a freckle on Holly’s shoulder and scheduled her for an appointment with a dermatologist.”
“You can’t be too careful!”
“When it comes to medical things, you’re right, but when it comes to letting go and feeling something for another person, you’re completely wrong. Part of falling in love . . .”
“I did not say anything about love!”
Em ignored my interruption and continued, “. . . is the excitement of letting go and embracing the free fall, knowing the person you chose is where you want to land.”
“I did that. Twice.”
“And you’ve got a wonderful relationship with Micah that has withstood so much drama and pain, most of which Roger caused.”
I smiled. Emerald knew that wasn’t his name, but she’d insisted on calling him that for years. She even said it to his face, which pissed him off so much he hated spending time with her. I knew that was at least partly why she did it.
“He’s still causing a stink. I think he’s doing it because he knows his time to make me miserable is running out. He wants to use every second he can before Max turns eighteen.”
“What’s he doing now?”
“He filed a motion to amend custody and is trying to hold me in contempt because I refuse to force Max to stay at his house.”
“The kid is sixteen fucking years old! He’s secure enough in himself to speak up and make his own decisions, and if he’s not comfortable staying with Roger, then no one should make him!”
“I know that, you know that, and the judge will probably agree, but in the meantime, I’ve got to deal with his bullshit.”
“We could always . . .” Emerald’s voice trailed off as we both looked at the phones sitting side by side on the table between us. She finished with, “. . . have another glass of wine and complain about him.”
“Let’s do that!”
◆◆◆
I’d had just enough wine to feel mellow, which didn’t happen often. I knew the people around me appreciated it even more, especially when they’d been the focus of my ire for months.
“You’re still here?” I asked my nephew as I walked up the porch steps. “I would have thought she’d have ended you by now.”
“It was a pretty evening, so I thought I’d keep Ursula company outside for a bit and let her run off some energy.”
“Usually she doesn’t have energy, but the exercise is good for her anyway.” I studied my nephew’s expression as I sat next to him on the porch swing. “What’s wrong, youngster?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
“What’s her name, and is she related to me in any way?”
“I’m related to the same people you are,” Lazlo pointed out.
“Valid point. But more than a few times over the years, I’ve heard your three brain cells rattling around and bumping into each other behind those gorgeous eyes, so I thought I’d better ask.”
“You think my eyes are gorgeous?”
“Don’t hurt yourself trying to analyze it, Lazlo. I think Ursula’s eyes are pretty too.”
“You’ve always been my favorite aunt, Jewel.”
“I have?” I asked, shocked. I took a second to recover before I asked, “You don’t like Petra or Summer better?”
“Petra’s meaner than you.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“No, no, no!” Lazlo hurried to say.
“That was a gold-star attempt at changing the subject, youngling, but tell me what’s bothering you and who I need to maim and kill.”