Chapter 5
I told myself that I’d stay away from Sebastian for a few days, give us both a bit of time and space to recalibrate. We’d been on the edge of something in Jet’s stupid beige living room, something dangerous. Taking a step back was the only way to stop us from falling completely.
That plan went to Hell in a handbasket when Mira called me the night before we were due to leave to say that Burning Bright’s label had rented a private plane to fly the band to Australia for the handful of festivals we were all playing before the tour started, and Jet had invited us all to fly with them.
“Look, I know that you and Sebastian have this weird frenemies shit going on, but we’d get to fly to Australia on a private plane! That is the coolest fucking shit.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” I agreed with a distracted sigh, staring down at my pitifully half- packed suitcase. “Bet it’s more fun than flying coach with a four-year-old.”
“Exactly!”
“What did Shep say? You know he hates private planes, says they’re shitty for the environment or some shit.”
“Well, he said that he hates private planes and they’re shitty for the environment, but that the more people are on the plane, the more it balances out. Or something to that effect. He basically said yes,” Mira told me gleefully. I could practically hear her bouncing around.
“He’s a fucking sellout,” I grumbled but there was no heat behind it.
“Yeah, but he’s flying to Australia on a private plane.”
I heaved another sigh, flopping down on the half-folded clothes strewn across my bed. I took a second to mourn my bed, to truly acknowledge that I wasn’t going to be sleeping in it for months. I’d miss it. I wondered if it’d miss me.
“Fine. Let’s take these fuckers for all they’re worth.”
“Yes! You’re my favorite, Maxxie. See you tomorrow.”
I lay among my clothes for a second, glaring at the ceiling and trying to come up with a way to get through the next day, the next week, the next god damn month.
Touring with Sebastian was going to force me to be in close proximity with him – starting with a 15-hour flight to Australia was going to be nothing compared to the coming months.
That’s what I told myself, anyway.
The much-discussed private plane was departing from Van Nuys Airport, because the biggest rock band from the world was definitely not departing on their sold-out stadium tour from LAX like the rest of us mere mortals.
It was already waiting on the tarmac when our van pulled up. Sara was sitting beside me, practically vibrating with excitement. Abbey, her hair freshly dyed bubblegum pink, let out a low whistle as we pulled up.
“Maybe I’m working for the wrong rockstar,” she said, flinging a cheeky grin over her pale shoulder at me before she jumped down from the van.
“Yeah yeah, just remember who pays the bills around here,” I reminded her with a playful glare of my own. I scooped Sara up, chuckling as she wriggled in my arms. I positioned her on my hip and picked up my guitar case while a little team of airport staff rushed over to start getting our luggage.
“We can get that,” Shep told them, eyes wide.
“It’s not a problem, sir,” one of the men told him. “We’re happy to help.”
I caught Shep’s eyes and shrugged, setting off across the tarmac while Sara babbled excitedly in my ear.
“Daddy, is Sebastian on the plane?”
“I think so, baby.”
“Ok, can we sit next to him? I want to tell him all about my new shoes.”
“I dunno, he might have someone sitting beside him already,” I told her, not wanting her to be disappointed by the fact I wasn’t sure I could be within touching distance of her new BFF.
“They might move! Abbey said we’re going to be on the plane for a really long time. Is that true, Daddy? How long as we going to be on the plane for?”
“Halfway round the world,” I replied solemnly.
“Where the koalas live,” she nodded, tangling one of her hands in my hair. “Right, daddy?”
“Right. ”
I carried her carefully up the steps, assuring one of the older stewardesses that I was fine, thank you, I could manage. The interior of the plane was cool and almost shadowy compared to the glare of the sunlight on the runway outside.
Sebastian was sitting by the window on the other side of the plane, facing away from the door. I hesitated, wondering if I should say hello, so taken aback by the sight of him that I didn’t even realize there was a woman sitting beside him.
She was beautiful, with long brunette hair that she’d tied back in a simple ponytail.
Her eyes were dark, almost black, framed with long lashes and high cheekbones.
There was something about her easy, confident smile that made her seem much older than she was.
Only a smattering of freckles across her button nose broke the illusion of maturity.
I glanced down at my feet, speechless, and that’s when I saw it.
The ring was simple, elegant, and suited her. One large diamond, set in a perfectly polished gold band. Her fingers were laced with Sebastian’s, her ring catching the sunlight when she moved. It was blinding.
I blinked a couple of times before giving myself an internal shake. A voice in my head, which sounded suspiciously like my mother, scolded me – mind your manners, son. I put Sara down in one of the ridiculously big cream leather seats before turning back to Sebastian and his fiancée, Myah.
“Myah, I take it?” I stepped forward, hand outstretched, trying to sound as sincere as I possibly could. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hi! You must be Max,” she smiled prettily at me, shaking my hand with surprising strength. “Wow, it’s so great to finally meet you. Sebastian hasn’t shut up about you since you agreed to this tour.”
I met Sebastian’s gaze. He looked like a kid who’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, his eyes almost comically wide.
He gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, answering my silent question.
Myah didn’t know about us, didn’t know what had happened the last time we toured together.
I tried not to let his unsaid confession sting.
Why would he tell his fiancée about us? It’d been a summer fling, right?
Musicians hooking up with each other on the road isn’t unheard of.
It’s more common that most people think, actually.
It doesn’t mean anything. The tour ends, people go back to their lives like nothing ever happened .
Except what had happened between Sebastian and I wasn’t nothing . I was more sure of it with each passing day, with every single second I spent with his eyes on me. If it had been nothing, he would’ve told her, would’ve shrugged it off. Just fucking around, babe. It didn’t mean anything.
Sure, I’d asked him to keep it a secret.
Practically demanded it, really, back when things first started up between us.
Still, I didn’t really think that would’ve included the woman he was going to marry.
I was pretty sure that people who were intending to get married had some sort of talk about their dating history before deciding to get married.
“All good things, I hope,” I replied with a forced grin before turning away to help Sara with her seatbelt. I couldn’t look at them, couldn’t spend another minute looking at her smiling face and his slightly terrified eyes.
“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Sara whispered, having caught a glance of my stricken expression.
“Nothing, sweetheart,” I assured her, pulling up a genuine smile. It wasn’t hard, if I was smiling for her. “It’s nothing.”
◆◆◆
The most annoying thing about the whole situation was that Myah was actually nice. I could tell that Sebastian’s bandmates really liked her too. They all hung out together the whole flight, chatting and joking around like old friends.
I felt Sebastian’s gaze burning a hole in the back of my head more than once, but I point blank refused to look round. It was pretty funny, how evenly the plane was split. Burning Bright, their tour manager Adrian and his assistant Bob all sat together for the whole flight.
Sara, Abbey, Shep, Mira, Annabelle and I all crowded around the same couple of tables.
Shep’s fiancée, Callie, was working and would hopefully be joining us in a few weeks.
He was already miserable without her, his big brown eyes staring dolefully out of the window for most of the flight.
Our tour manager, Kelly, spent the flight dutifully typing away on her laptop.
Jet swung by our tables a couple of times, trying and failing to make it look like he wasn’t just coming over to talk to Mira.
She seemed pretty bemused by the whole thing but indulged his flimsy excuses for conversation.
Annabelle and I could barely conceal our grins – Mira doesn’t really indulge anyone if she doesn’t feel like it.
“Hey man, are you ok?” Jet asked me on his fourth fly-by visit. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”
“Yeah, because he’s usually such a chatterbox,” Annabelle replied before I could. She had a sleep mask down over her eyes but I was pretty sure she’d still rolled them.
“I’m fine,” I lied through a tight smile. “Just tired. This plane is sick though, thanks for inviting us.”
“No problem,” Jet replied with a sincere little shake of his head. “I’m really glad you’re doing this tour with us. I, uh, missed you guys.”
I didn’t miss the way his eyes tripped over to Mira, but I was too busy blushing to come up with a suitably cool response. Jet nodded once more and wandered off back to his band. I cocked a brow in Mira’s direction. She met it with a predictably terrifying death glare.
“Not saying a word,” I chuckled, holding my hands up in a gesture of surrender.
“Pretty sure that was Jet’s point,” Mira responded with an eye roll of her own. “Seriously, are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, hoping I sounded better than I felt. “I’m just tired.”