28. Verge
Verge
SUNDAY EVENING
Saturday she got it together, coming in first in barrels and second in the breakaway.
I assume after him not bothering her for two days, she has gotten her wits about her again.
Cross has for sure kept a very close eye on her and Shiloh when I’m riding, as well as Cash and Beau.
We all keep close eyes on Tyler too when Cross and Shi are team roping.
I’m sitting at the trailer with Love laying at my feet, watching Shi and Tyler walk their horses up to the trailer. Love barks as they approach, and I pat her on the head. “None of that.”
She wags her tail, standing up, nipping at my hand, and I chuckle at her as she rolls to her back, letting her tongue hang out.
I scratch her belly, gathering her leash in my hand that was under my boot as I stand, discarding my smoke to the ground and stepping on it.
Love goes to try and eat it, but I guide her away from it with my boot, saying, “No.”
Puppies are cute, and even though she is very well trained for her age, I still forgot how much they like to eat or chew on every fucking thing.
“She givin’ you a run for your money?” Tyler asks as she ties Midnight up to the trailer beside Venom.
“She’s not too bad.” I smile, and Cross comes up behind Tyler, picking her up, and she shrieks, laughing.
He spins her around and says, “Wee-Doggie, looks like we are all coming home tonight with some money in our pockets.” Then kisses her. I look over to Shi, who is tying up Riot, smiling at them both. I walk over to her with Love’s leash in my hand, leaning down to kiss her.
“What bull did you draw tonight?” She asks.
I’ve been avoiding this conversation all day, because she's not going to be happy with my draw. Although I’m not concerned, I know she will hate it. I look away, pursing my lips, then look back to her before I say, “Dirty Bird.”
Her eyes grow wide, and she blinks before she looks away, swiping her nose when she says, “Oh, Okay.”
I put my hand on her neck, looking her straight in those green eyes. She tries to look away. “Shi, look at me, baby,” I plead.
Her eyes look misty, and she swallows, but she looks back at me as I say, “I’m going to be fine, okay?”
She bites her lip, taking a deep breath, trying to control the emotions that I’m sure are all-consuming, and it guts me.
I hate that what I do causes her so much grief.
I get it, I truly do, but I don’t know how else to live or what else to do.
This is all I’ve ever known. I always said I’d never give up what I love for a woman, but I meant it when I said I won’t survive without her.
We will cross that bridge when we come to it, if we ever do.
“Let me take Love, you need to get ready. We will be in the stands watching,” she says as she smiles, but it's not a smile I know. It’s fake. She’s trying, and I appreciate it, but it also makes me feel guilty.
She takes Love’s leash from my hand and puts her hair behind her ear before she looks back at the setting sun and says, “I love you, Verge. Good luck.”
“I love you too, baby,” I say, placing a kiss on her head, and I see Cross and Tyler walking up to us hand in hand.
“Who’d you draw tonight, Verge?” Cross asks.
“Dirty Bird,” I say quickly, and Shi shudders as I say it but tries to hide it, bending down to scratch Love’s ears.
Cross looks over at Shi, then pursues his lips and nods, letting me know he will take care of her for me. I nod, smiling slightly, thanking him.
“Should be a solid ride, he’s good but you’re better.” He winks, trying to ease her nerves.
“Good luck, Verge,” Tyler says.
“Thanks,” I reply.
“Come on, Shi, let's go grab some popcorn or something before. I think Cash and Beau are saving us seats in the stands,” Cross suggests.
She looks up from Love, then back to me. She hugs me and kisses me and says, “I’ll see you after.”
“Okay, baby,” I reply, and they all three walk off toward the concession stand.
As they walk off, I see Pierce eyeing them, and my stomach sours. He then glances back to me with a wicked-looking grin playing across his mouth. He tilts his hat, then turns on his heel, walking toward the chutes.
What the fuck is he up to?
I shrug it off, walking to the tack room to put on my chaps, spurs, and vest. I then grab my rope and rosin, heading up to the chutes. Walking in, I glance to the stands. They still aren’t sitting yet, but I see Cash and Beau saving their seats as promised.
“Who’d you draw, Verge?” Luke asks.
“Dirty Bird,” I say as I grab my rope to rosin it.
“Damn, good luck,” he says, putting his hand on my shoulder, walking past, and I hear a voice behind me that makes my blood boil.
“He’s gonna need it.”
I turn around, and sure enough, Pierce is standing there leaning on the gates with his rope over his shoulder.
I remind myself he wants to get a rise out of me, and I don’t want to give him the fucking satisfaction, so I again ignore him, walking past him until he says, “Better keep a watch on those pretty girls of yours, Verge.”
This has me stopping dead in my tracks, my temper getting the better of me.
I walk toward him, grabbing him by the throat, throwing him against the chute, and this time, instead of cowering down, he laughs, and I see red, raising my fist. Just as I’m about to knock his ass out, someone grabs me from behind, saying, “It’s not worth it, man. Keep walkin’.”
I struggle with the guys holding me back before I shake them off, turning the other way, fury coursing through every fiber of my being.
“You good, man?” I look up to see Luke, his hand on my shoulder, and then wonder who the fuck was with him holding me back until I look to my left to see Bobby, another bull rider beside him, lookin’ at me wide-eyed.
“Yeah, thanks,” I bite out though gritted teeth. At this point, I’m ready to ride and get back to my girl. The sick feeling I have in the pit of my stomach is not going to diminish until I am beside her and know she is safe.
“Verge McCoy, make your way to Chute one, my friend,” the announcer says over the speaker.
I shake it off, throwing my rope over my shoulder and head for the chute.
As I stand over the chute, the cowboys open it up for the white-and-black-speckled bull to make his way in.
I look to the stands to see Cross with his arm wrapped around Shi and Tyler holding Love at his other side.
I wink at her, and she nods, and Cross rubs his hand up and down her arms, and I spot Cash glancing over to her, and his leg is even bouncing up and down.
Handing the rope to the guys, I lower myself onto the bull’s back, adjusting myself to sit. I run my hand up and down the rope, and I’m suddenly nervous. I glance to the stands to make sure she’s still there, still watching.
My hands are shaky as I wrap my hand with the rope. Fuck.
Pierce wanted to get in my fucking head, and he damn well did. He knew exactly what he was doing, and I fucking let him. I take a deep breath.
“In chute number one, your current leader in the bull riding, Verge McCoy, riding Dirty Bird. Let's ride!”
Blowing out a breath, I nod, “Let's go, boys.”
The chute busts open, and Bird lunges out, jumping right as his hind end goes left.
He spins left, abruptly stopping before he lunges right.
I hold steady, trying to focus on my form, but my mind is not in it as much as I’d like it to be. I want to risk a glance up to the stands just to ensure her safety, but it will cost me, and I know it.
Snapping me out of it, he bucks left, then right, spinning in a circle for the remainder of the 8.
Relief washes over me when I hear the buzzer until I can’t get my fucking hand loose.
I try to remain calm and remind myself, This has happened before, it's fine. But the thought of hurting her by getting myself hurt bubbles up inside of me, and panic starts to set in rather than logic. I reach my free hand to the loop, and Dirty bucks right, knocking me off center. My shoulder screams for relief, but I’m not off his back yet.
I adjust myself again, trying my best to just stay on his back until I can get my hand free.
The cowboys and their horses run alongside me as Dirty shoves my leg up against the metal gates, and I growl at the searing pain in my shin but keep focus on getting my hand free.
Finally, I free my hand, jumping over the rear end of the horse by my side, and Bird shoots out from under me, and the bull fighters lead him into the chutes.
I land on my feet, thanking the cowboy who helped me.
My heart is pounding, and I look over to the stands, and she’s gone.
Her, Cross, and Tyler are all gone. I look at Cash, and he runs his hand down his face, letting out a breath that he seemed to have been holding.
He looks to me, then over his shoulder, indicating she left.
Fuck.