29. Shiloh
Shiloh
“Ican’t watch this,” I say, standing and walking away. His fucking hand is stuck just like my dad’s was all those years ago. I feel like I’m going to vomit all over the people in front of me if I don’t get up and leave. I refuse to watch someone else I love die that way.
Cross quickly runs after me, along with Tyler, who carries Love under her arm.
I put my hands on top of my head behind the bleachers as my eyes mist over and I let my tears fall freely.
My heart is pouding, and I feel like I can’t fucking catch my breath, and Cross comes over, wrapping his arms around me. “Shiloh, breath.”
I wrap my arms around him, sobbing, and I hear Tyler say, “I’ll meet you both at the trailer, okay.”
I feel Cross nod with his chin on top of my head as he rubs my back, trying to console me.
“88 points. Verge McCoy, you got lucky, my friend, that was a hell of a ride, and you are the first to ride Dirty Bird for the full 8 seconds. Congratulations, we will see you at the NFR.”
I let out another sob as relief washes over my entire body that he’s not fucking dead.
Cross pulls back, rubbing my shoulders. He brings his hand to my eyes, wiping my tears before he says, “See, he’s fine.
” He smiles, trying to make me feel better, but I lunge toward him, hugging him harder before I say, “I can’t do this, Cross. I love him, but this is too much.”
He pulls back, taking my chin in his hands as I look at him through tear-filled eyes, and he pushes my tears to the side with his thumb before he says, “You’re stronger than you think, Shiloh. You can. You love him, that has to be enough, okay?”
I go to speak, but I suddenly hear Love barking, and my eyebrows pinch together, looking at Cross, and his eyes go from concerned to fear as we hear Love yelp loudly.
“Tyler,” he says, and he takes off running toward the direction of the trailer, and I turn to look back, wondering if Verge is close, but then decide fuck it, and run to follow Cross to see if I can help in any way.
As I weave in and out of all the trailers, I’m nearly there and see Pierce has Tyler pinned up against the trailer with a knife to her throat, yelling and screaming at her in words I can’t quite make out this far away. All I hear is her as she cries out, “Please, Please. Stop, Pierce. Stop.”
Cross comes up behind him, spinning him around and punching him in the face.
Pierce is knocked off balance and bends over, holding his jaw with one hand, as Cross turns toward Tyler to ensure she is okay.
I sigh with relief when she nods, and Cross turns back to Pierce to pick him up to punch him again, and my world stops when Pierce plunges his knife right into Cross’ chest.
“CROSS!” I scream as he falls to his knees.
Pierce wipes his bloody nose, pulling his knife from his chest, and looks up to see me coming to catch Cross and runs off like the fucking coward he is, but I don’t fucking care right now.
I land on the ground, sliding to Cross just as he falls backward into my arms, his breathing choppy and his eyes glossy.
He has his hand clutched right over his heart as blood pours out of his chest cavity.
Tyler lands beside me, falling to her knees, trying to speak through her panic, “I’m so fucking sorry, it’s my fault. ”
“Cross, hold on…” I say through my tears, holding his bleeding chest with my hand, applying pressure.
“SOMEBODY HELP!” I scream. I’ve never felt so fucking helpless in my life. Tyler sits beside me, choking on her tears all the same.
The world around me slows down as I hold my best friend in my arms as he bleeds out right in front of me.
I hear footsteps and see Cash beside me.
I briefly look at him to see tears gathering in his eyes as he looks down to Cross, then over to me, and he blinks, letting the tears fall down his cheeks.
He yells at Beau to run and get the paramedics on call, but I can’t make out anything else aside from my own sobs bursting from my mouth.
“Cross, please. Don’t leave me.” I cry.
He brings his bloody hand to my face as he tries to catch his breath, he wipes my tears away with this thumb and I see blood forming in his mouth as he tries to speak.
Cash is knelt down beside me now. “Help is coming, buddy, hold on,” Cash manages to say, choking on his words as he lets his tears fall freely down his cheeks.
“Shiloh…I love you, live big, okay,” he says through choppy breaths before he looks at Tyler. “You were my one and only, baby..”
Sobs burst from her lips, her mascara tears rolling down her face as she bends down, pressing her lips to his.
Cross then glances at Cash before he says, “Look out for her.”
Cash puts his hand on his shoulder, gathering himself as he nods silently, keeping a promise to our childhood best friend, and built in little brother.
“Don’t talk like that, you're going to be fine,” I insist, knowing I’m lying to myself.
Tyler holds his hand, and Cash comes up behind her, hugging her, and I suddenly feel Verge’s arms around me from behind.
Cross takes one more breath before he looks at me, then back to Verge, and says one last thing, “Don’t let her leave you.
” He then breathes his last breath, and his eyes go vacant.
“Cross? Cross?” I panic as he lifelessly lays in my lap.
Verge closes Cross’ eyes as the paramedics come rushing over.
I scream again, clawing at everyone around me, unwilling to believe what just happened.
I am not willing to believe my best friend just died in my arms. I lunge toward the stretcher, and Verge catches me from behind as I lunge, not wanting him to be taken away from me.
As I struggle in his arms to run after Cross, Verge turns me toward him, holding my head in his chest as my legs give out on me, as I scream, the agony of this loss consuming me.
How do I live without my best friend? How do I move on from this?
He holds me steady as I look at my hands covered in blood, and it guts me.
I feel like my fucking heart has been plucked right from my chest. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, all I know is the overwhelming grief taking over me.
“What happened?” Verge demands, looking at Cash, and I open my eyes to see Cash holding Tyler in his arms in the same state as me, crying her fucking eyes out.
“I ran up and saw Shiloh holding him..” Cash manages to say, still trying to control his emotions as well, and Tyler gains her composure long enough to say, “Pierce.” And nothing more.
As I watch the ambulance take my lifelong friend away, I look at the men holding me and my friend and see nothing but rage in their eyes. The only sliver of comfort I have left is with his arms wrapped around me, but at the same time I can’t help but be mad, and angry.
The second-worst day of my life started again with 8 endless fucking seconds.