13
Monday at school. Jude did not know what to do.
He did not know how to face Jasper. He still could not move on from their date, and he did not fully recover from the confession he had heard from him last night.
His dark eyes and pronounced eye bags told the whole story.
Jude thought he was straight. He felt somehow happy knowing that he was gay, but it saddened him that Jasper was a pure bottom. He was a bottom, too.
What should we do? But he kept on telling himself that if they truly loved each other, then their sex roles did not matter. They could still be together.
Jude’s stomach twirled at the thought of him being the top.
He shook his head. No way. I could not be the one driving.
There was no way that I would be the top.
Aside from the lack of knowledge and experience, I also did not know how.
I did not even masturbate. I did not know how to and had never tried doing it, even once.
Well, basically, he learned it from science back in junior high, but he did not do it to himself. He could not picture himself doing it.
Maybe if I practice? —Oh my god, what was I thinking? Jude shoved his dirty thoughts away and felt some shivers running down his spine. These sexual thoughts had been flashing through his mind lately. He paused, shook his head, and continued walking down the winding halls.
Giggle after giggle, glare after glare, gossip after gossip, the school was a total buzz. Before he could turn left down the corridor, someone purposely tripped him. The sudden act took him by surprise, causing him to shriek in fear.
“Oh, what a clumsy faggot,”
“Did you hear that freak just squeak? So gross! Eww!” a female senior exclaimed, making a dramatic gagging expression.
“Oops, sorry. Did I just trip you?” another girl asked sarcastically, feigning innocence after the act.
Jude’s knees hurt as he hit the concrete floor, and his eyeglasses slipped off his face. Laughter suddenly echoed through the hallway while he fumbled around, trying to find them. Everything around him turned into a blur.
“Well, that’s what he gets for being a party wrecker,” one of the girls said.
“He deserves more. Pathetic attention seeker,” another student added.
“I used to think he was some kind of saint, but I was wrong. He’s nothing but a demon…a two-faced bitch,” someone else muttered from a distance.
“I think so too, but I don’t know why I still find him cute,” her friend murmured.
“Sis! Really? Eww, disgusting shit!” the other one replied in distaste.
Those were just a few words Jude heard from the students around him. Then, he came to a sudden realization. He almost forgot about last Friday night.
Jude scrunched up his nose when a whistle rang out, drawing the attention of several students toward its source.
“Hi there, sexy little fag,” he said and then bent over him, one of the jocks in school.
Jude tried to block out everything around him as he fumbled across the floor with trembling hands, searching for his glasses.
Without them, his vision was a blur. He had forgotten to put on his contact lenses, which he rarely wore anyway.
He usually reserved them for reading or taking exams, and even then, he still kept his glasses on.
“Are you looking for this?”
Jude stopped scanning the floor and was about to grab his glasses in his hand, but the guy quickly lifted them before he could catch them.
“Doraemon, so cute,” he commented, turning the glasses slightly in his hand.
“Ewws, Blake! Can you stop it? Don’t tell me you’re into this fag?” Abigail, one of the seniors, exclaimed in pure disgust.
“I can bang him, why not? Just sex,” Blake said, his voice deep and taunting. “That little ass will be deflowered with such a big dick. You wanna try it, twink?”
“Yuckkss!”
The girls in the hallway screamed all together. The femboys louder.
“P-lease g-ive me back my e-yeglasses,” Jude besought, almost crying.
“Say, daddy first,” he scoffed.
Jude could feel Blake’s breath fanning his face.
“Pssstt!” A very familiar sibilant echoed in the hallway, making everyone freeze.
“God…Sky,”
Blake threw the lenses back at Jude, but he was not able to catch them.
It hit directly at his face. His reflexes shot up, just as the bullies scattered like thin air.
The voice that reverberated through the hallway belonged to none other than Sky Granger.
That was how feared Sky was. Jude never understood why, whenever people got in his way, Sky suddenly appeared.
And they would immediately flee as if they had seen a ghost.
And honestly, Jude was no different. Everyone feared Sky Granger. Yet unlike the others who ran away, Jude always found himself frozen in place, as if his feet had been planted to stay rooted to the floor.
“Hey, Jude. Are you alright?” Jasper came down, rushing at him. “Here,” he handed him his eyeglasses, and he hastily grabbed them.
“I’m f-ine. T-hanks, Jasper,” Jude stammered shyly.
Jude put his glasses on and stood up. When his vision cleared, he looked up to see Jasper in front of him with a concerned expression written over his face.
“A-hh, uhm, hi, Jasper,” Jude said awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
Jude mentally smacked himself at his foolishness.
“Hi,” Jasper returned the greeting.
In the fringes of his eyelids, he saw Sky simply leaning against the wall not far away from them, with his arms crossed above his chest.
“I h-ave to go,” Jude said, rattled.
“Hey! Wait,” Jasper stopped him before he could turn on his heel. “I suppose you’re going to the locker. I’m going too. Let’s head there together if you don’t mind.”
“A-hh, hmm, y-eah. S-ure, Jasper.”
Jude no longer took his eyes off Jasper, refusing to look anywhere else. It was as if Sky’s intense glare was already piercing through him, even without him needing to look in that direction.
“Oh, I forgot. My brother’s going to the locker area too. Come on, let’s get going. We still have five minutes before the bell.” Jasper grabbed Jude’s hand, which took him by surprise, and signaled his brother to come along.
Jude glanced at Sky and smoothly removed his hand from Jasper’s grasp, although he wanted to hold Jasper’s hand longer.
Jasper, with his knowing look, gave Jude a slight smile.
Jude did not want Sky to think that he was flirting with his brother in front of his eyes.
He might kill him on the spot. He also did not want students to think that he was an attention seeker and a whore, which they already associated him with.
At that moment, all Jude wanted was to hide from the Grangers.
“Dre, aren’t you going to the locker?” Jasper asked audibly when Sky went the other way.
Sky did not answer Jasper and continuously walked down the opposite hallway.
Jasper rolled his eyes when he looked at Jude.
“Never mind,” he muttered.
They walked in silence, and a vast relief poured over Jude due to Sky’s disappearance. Some of the students’ eyes were still on them, especially since Jasper was walking at his side.
“Hey, sit down for lunch with me.” Jasper broke the silence.
Jude did not know how to respond. Everything happening between them felt surreal, and so fast, far from anything he would consider normal.
“I mean, if you want to. But it’s okay if you don’t—”
“Y-eah. Sure, Jasper.” Jude did not mean to cut him off, although he was trying to make his voice as low as possible.
“Oh, great!”
Even though this was something kind of strange to Jude, he could not help but feel some sense of joy with the way Jasper had been treating him recently. This was something he had only ever imagined, and now that it was finally happening, it felt like a dream come true.
When they arrived at the locker area, there were a lot of people: some were chatting, some were leaning against the lockers, flirting with each other, and many were looking at Jude while whispering, mocking, laughing, glaring, with looks of contempt, and every negative expression pasted on their faces.
“What’s with them?” Jasper asked when he noticed their eyes.
Jude did not respond to him because he did not know what to answer. Instead, Jasper strode towards his locker in bewilderment.
Jude suddenly felt nervous. Although he was nervous when he woke up this morning, this time it was much worse. He already had a hint.
Using his unique code, Jude opened his locker hesitantly to get some books. The moment it opened, laughter suddenly erupted around him. Heat instantly rushed to his cheeks as he stared at the countless pictures of himself from the party plastered inside.
Jude was completely stunned. His body felt frozen, unable to function properly as overwhelming humiliation consumed him.
“Oh,” Jasper gasped.
Jude did not notice that he was already beside him when his locker was in the left corner, while Jude’s was in the middle.
Jasper glanced at Jude and immediately noticed how devastated he looked. He immediately snatched the pictures and put them inside his backpack.
“Hey, it’s okay, Jude. It’s fine.” Jasper comforted him while still detaching the pictures from the locker.
Jude could clearly hear a lot of derogatory remarks thrown around.
“Faggot,”
“Attention seeker,”
“He’s embarrassing,”
“He’s always gonna ickkk me,”
“Party wrecker.”
“His vibe is not giving.”
“He’s ugly,”
“I can’t believe he’s our top one.”
“I hate him so much.”
“Don’t mind them. You’re fine,” Jasper said.
“No, it’s not, Jasper,” he replied with a shaky voice.
Jude’s anxiety began to recur, and just as his tears were about to cascade, the bell rang for the next class.
“Hey, come on, man. Cheer up. You look very sexy, though. I swear,” Jasper lifted the atmosphere.
Jude looked at Jasper, and Jude could see the sincerity and comfort in his eyes.
“I promise. You looked good in the pictures.” Jasper held Jude’s right arm. “Stop crying already. I will see you later, okay? We still need to talk about the party,” he continued with a hint of warning.