21
After punching and kicking his bedroom door five times, hardly enough, Sky rested his forehead against the wall, finally letting his frustration out.
He did not care about the pain throbbing beneath the bandages wrapped around his knuckles.
The wounds had reopened, blood quickly seeping through the white fabric.
Sky drew a deep breath before letting it out slowly, regret enveloped him more heavily than ever. He did not even understand why he had done all of that. Why had he gone to a pharmacy, bought medications for the first time in his life, and treated Jude’s wounds?
The situation was only getting worse. Life was so fucking messed up. Every touch he shared with Jude felt like a death note, a painful reminder that he needed to stay away.
Once Sky had cooled down, he turned his gaze toward the window and watched Jude leave.
His hand remained tightly clenched into a fist, with some blood dripping onto the floor.
The only light illuminating the room came from a streetlight meters away, casting a dim glow through the windowsill.
Because of that, Jude would not notice him secretly watching.
Jude’s back was turned against him. Sky’s brows furrowed when, after standing for a few seconds, he began walking away.
Don’t tell me he’s actually planning to walk home? Sky thought.
Absent-mindedly, Sky’s feet seemed to move on their own, carrying him downstairs. He grabbed the gray hoodie hanging by the door, quickly slipped it on, and rushed outside like some kind of spy. The night was slowly growing deeper, the cold air brushing harshly against his frame as proof of it.
A sense of guilt lingered inside him. If something bad happened to Jude on the way home, he knew he would blame himself for not sending him home safe and sound. At least this was a small charity he could offer.
I’d just stand back and watch if a wolf attacked him. It’s not like I care. I am only having a night walk, he thought.
Careful not to let Jude notice he was being followed, Sky kept a safe distance between them, occasionally hiding behind trees or posts whenever Jude suddenly stopped, which he oddly kept doing. He would pause for a few seconds before walking again.
This fag is seriously crazy, Sky thought.
As Sky watched him closely from behind, he noticed how strangely accustomed Jude seemed to pain—the cuts, bruises, wounds, and beatings no longer appeared to affect him.
Earlier, while Sky was treating his injuries, Jude had not even flinched or complained once.
Sky had been completely speechless and stunned when Jude removed his long sleeves, revealing the bruises and scars covering his body.
For some unexplainable reason, the sight made something inside him crack, his chest crushing at the realization.
The image of Jude’s body refused to leave Sky’s mind, replaying over and over inside his head. He never imagined things had gotten that bad.
But if he had not started hurting him, maybe he would have fallen into his trap a long time ago.
For years, hurting him had been something he convinced himself was necessary for his own good.
But after tonight, he felt something inside him shift, something that had managed to break through the walls he had spent so long building.
Sky’s feet had not grown tired at all despite walking for more than thirty minutes already.
He enjoyed his late-night walk. At last, Jude’s house came into view.
Sky stopped beneath a tree and watched him cross the musky, empty road, quickening his pace as he neared the house.
Leaning against the thick trunk of a gigantic mahogany tree, Sky kept his eyes fixed on him.
The lights from the streets and porches a few meters away cast a slight glow onto their house.
Though dim, it was still enough for Sky to see Jude’s movements.
He watched as Jude slowly slid down against the wall.
Even if he could not clearly see the expression on his face, Sky knew he was exhausted and in so much pain from everything that had happened today.
Sky stayed outside. After watching and waiting for several minutes for Jude to finally go inside, Sky was just about to turn around and head home when he suddenly saw him run out.
His heart raced when he saw that he was crying.
Not knowing what to do, Sky watched him as he approached the road.
The instinct Sky had carried since childhood kicked in the moment a huge truck suddenly came into view, causing him to sprint toward Jude without hesitation.
Through his tears, Jude stared at the approaching vehicle with a clear intention in mind.
Running as fast as a wolf saving its mate, Sky quickly wrapped an arm around Jude’s waist just seconds before the truck could hit him.
They tumbled across the grass before finally coming to a halt.
The back of Sky’s head slammed against a jagged rock, and for a split second, the stars sprinkled across the night sky seemed within his reach.
Warm blood began to seep out from the impact.
As he opened his eyes, a blur filled his vision.
When he blinked twice, terrified grey ones met his golden ones.
His eyeglasses were already nowhere to be found.
Jude was on top of him as he tightly held his waist, pressing Jude down against him.
His tears had stopped falling, but the wet streaks remained on his cheeks.
His lips trembled in fear as he held him tightly, refusing to let go.
Jude buried his face against Sky’s chest and began crying again.
A slight wave of panic hit him at the thought that Jude might hear something inside his chest. He did not say a word, only continuing to sob and soak Sky’s clothes with his tears.
“You’d better have a good reason for what you just did,” Sky said breathlessly and harshly shoved him aside.
Sky had never felt this scared in his entire life, but tonight, fear and anxiety overwhelmed him completely.
Jude remained silent, and his silence only fueled Sky’s anger and frustration.
A part of him wished he had not realized what he had tried to do, because if he had truly intended to die, Sky would not have let it go unpunished.
He would make sure he got the beating he deserved.
Feeling nauseated from the impact of the rock against his head, he struggled to get back up. He cast a glance at the terrified Jude before moving toward the truck.
The vehicle had already come to a stop, and the driver was stepping out. Sky immediately rushed over, his anger flaring uncontrollably. The old man was distraught by the incident; worry and panic were written all over his face.
“Oh, no. I’m so sorry. Are you—”
Sky did not let him finish his sentence as he threw a hard punch straight onto his face. Sky’s anger was beyond anything he had felt. This time it was far worse. The reckless driver had nearly taken a life, a life far more precious than his own.
The first punch sent the driver crashing to the ground.
“I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t see—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Sky roared in uncontrollable fury, cutting him off as he threw another punch to the other side of his face.
When he started to get up again, Sky kicked his jaw very hard as blood splashed from his mouth, making the back of his head hit the asphalt road.
“So sad you can’t see tomorrow, you useless twat,” he muttered under his breath.
As the man nearly lost all consciousness, he continued to act on impulse, delivering blow after blow in rage.
His control was slipping. He topped him and strangled his neck as he punched his face directly using his dominant hand multiple times.
There was barely any chance left for reason to take over when suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around Sky from behind, pulling him back.
“Stop it, please! I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Sky. Please stop.” Jude’s frantic apologies broke through his ire, cutting him off mid-action.
Jude’s blood ran cold. Sky had crossed the line, and the violence in his eyes sent a wave of concern and dread crashing over him. If no one stopped him, the driver would die beneath Sky’s fists.
Fuck!
Panting for air, Sky’s temper began to cool marginally.
The contact between their bodies sent an unexpected chill down his spine.
A strange, unsettling sensation churned in the pit of his stomach, one he could not long comprehend, and that only bothered him more.
He did not know why he stayed frozen in that embrace.
After what felt like an eternity, he finally unclasped his hands and forced himself to stand.
Even then, Sky was still seething. If he was furious earlier at the parking lot, this wrath was worse.
Jude grabbed his wrist firmly, pulling him away from the unconscious driver. He tried to drag him to the side of the road, but Sky jerked his hand free.
“What the hell came into your fucking mind, why you fucking did that?! What if that truck hit you!” Sky raised his voice and scolded him.
Sky’s anger was almost making him cry.
Jude did not utter a word, but just lowered his head.
“Are you fucking insane, Jude? Answer me! What came into your fucking mind? Why the hell did you fucking do that!”
“Why do you care?!” Jude yelled back, and that briefly halted Sky. “Why do you care now, huh? Isn’t this what you fucking want?”
Sky was not used to him cursing in front of his face. He had never seen him this devastated either.
“Isn’t this what you want? You want me dead!”
“Don’t say that,” Sky said in a low growl.
“Don’t fucking deny it,” Jude replied quickly. “And you can’t just attack people all you want. You even almost killed that driver. He didn’t do anything!” he reprimanded, getting incandescent.
“Don’t try to fucking lecture me. It’s your fucking fault,” Sky retorted and threw a glare at him.
Jude fought his deadly, bloodshot eyes.
“I’m aware. It’s all my fault, but you can just let them be.”
“You can’t just let people fucking go after what they have done!”
“I was very used to it, remember? You made me learn that the hard way,” he looked at Sky with eyes of contempt. “And why are you always getting in my way?”
“Then who fucking else?!” Sky felt so stupid for asking him that.
There was a brief, awkward air that fanned their faces.
He snorted in disbelief.
“I don’t fucking need you…” He cursed.
What Jude said sent a pang through his chest. And he did not like Jude cursing. He just did not like it.
“Even if you’re the last person here on Earth alive, I won’t seek your help. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need someone else. I don’t definitely need you.”
Sky looked him directly in the eyes with his glasses already on. It hurt so much hearing those words from him. It was all foreign to Sky. Even then, he fought the urge not to get swayed by his emotions.
“And why are you here, by the way? Were you following me?” asked Jude.
“If it weren’t because of me, you’d be lying lifeless on that road right now.” Sky snorted.
“Isn’t that what you want again?” he asked, catching Sky off guard.
Sky met his gaze, trying to resist the intensity of his piercing stare, only to see clear hurt and pain reflected there.
“I told you not to say that,” Sky repeated, barely holding back his temper.
“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to happen anyway.” Jude broke his eyes at him and wiped the tears that fell on his cheeks. “I saw the truck coming, and I should be dead right now.” he lowered his head and cried again.
So, he intended that to happen.
“But then you came out of nowhere. Why did you stop me, huh? I want this fucking life to end. I can’t take this anymore,” his voice cracked. “It hurts so much in here,” he pointed to his chest and cried hard. “You don’t know how much I suffered every day in this life, Sky.”
The world around them seemed to fall silent. Sky watched as Jude’s tears refused to stop, falling one after another. Slowly, Jude lifted his gaze to him. His eyes shimmered with sorrow as heavy tears continued to trail down his pale cheeks.
“I have known you for over five years, Sky, and yet, I have never asked anything from you. This time, for once, I have one favor to ask…” Jude continued, his tone sincere. “Can you end my life now, please?”
Jude pleaded.
Sky stared at him in silence before pulling him close, holding him as though he might fall apart. Jude had always been his only weakness. One plea from him was enough to make Sky surrender without a fight. But this time, no matter how much it shattered him, he could not give Jude what he wanted.
“Shut the fuck up.” he tightened his arms around his small figure.
“Don’t ever say that again. Don’t ever think like that ever again.
Don’t ever try to get yourself killed. This is an order, Jude, and I don’t need your permission for you to follow my command.
If you ever think of killing yourself again, you will be dealing with me…
you understand me?” Sky threatened, his voice almost cracked, lips brushing against Jude’s ear.
Jude did not answer his question. Sky expected him to pull away from the hug, but instead, he completely broke down, unable to process Sky’s words.
Jude cried endlessly, his tears soaking through Sky’s clothes. He looked so vulnerable, so fragile, that something deep inside Sky broke at the sight of him. He already knew Jude must have overheard something in the house, which was why he suddenly ran away in tears.
Without saying another word, Sky held him tighter, letting him release all the frustration, pain, hatred, and every heavy emotion he had been carrying while trembling in his arms.
It took him a while to finally calm down, though soft sobs still escaped his lips now and then. Jude slowly pulled away from Sky’s embrace, revealing puffy eyes and flushed red cheeks that only made him look more vulnerable.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered apologetically, quickly wiping away his tears in embarrassment.
“You didn’t answer my question.” Sky’s look was penetrating, telling Jude how serious he was. “Don’t ever try to get hurt and think of killing yourself again. You understand me?”
Jude only looked at Sky, tongue-tied.
“You understand me, Jude Finn?” Sky sincerely repeated authoritatively.
Jude only nodded in agreement.
Sky felt a sense of relief at Jude’s answer. He knew Jude would never do it again. He knew him better than anyone.
“Can we go to a bar, Sky?” he asked with those beautiful, pleading grey eyes that you could not resist but get mesmerized by. “I wanna get drunk and forget this day. Please?” he begged again, but this time, it was the opposite of earlier—he would easily give in.