27
Everything had happened too fast. Sky kept cursing himself mentally for diving underwater and kissing him.
That kiss felt nothing like the ones he had shared with his past hookups.
It was the first time his lips had ever touched a boy.
And the more he thought about the kiss he shared with Jude, the more restless he felt inside.
Jude’s lips had been unbelievably soft and gentle.
It was not even an intimate kiss, just a simple press of lips that had not lasted longer than a minute, yet somehow, it felt far beyond anything Sky had ever experienced before.
And that scared him.
A wave of worry flooded through Sky the moment he saw the fear written all over Jude’s face after the kiss. Seeing those terrified eyes hurt more than he expected. Afterwards, neither of them spoke or even looked at each other again. Jude especially avoided meeting Sky’s eyes.
And yet, despite everything, Sky could not bring himself to feel even the slightest bit of regret.
Ever since middle school, ever since he had first known Jude, a part of him had secretly wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him. So, saying he regretted it had never once crossed his mind.
They sat in the back passenger seat, Jude tucked against one corner.
Sky stayed on the opposite side, a noticeable distance separating them as both silently stared out their respective windows.
The atmosphere inside the car was very awkward and quiet.
Sky wanted to look at him, to pull him into his arms and hold him close, but he forced himself to resist the urge.
Several minutes later, Sky noticed from the corner of his eye that Jude had already fallen asleep, his head resting against the tinted glass window.
Only then did Sky finally allow himself to turn and quietly study him.
A part of Sky desperately wanted to pull Jude closer and let him sleep against his chest while he wrapped his arms around him protectively. But he knew there was no way he could bring himself to do that. A mixture of emotions churned inside Sky. He knew he had been an idiot, an absolute asshole.
Studying Jude’s face from his angle filled Sky with an overwhelming sense of awe, and warmth spread through his system.
Simply looking at him now was enough to soften something inside him.
Jude had always been capable of calming him, yet at the same time, he turned Sky’s entire world upside down.
He confused him in ways no one else ever had.
Sky constantly reminded himself that he was not queer, but the restless pounding in his chest seemed determined to prove otherwise.
He had tried before, more than once, to look at other boys or men the same way, to see if he could feel anything remotely similar.
But all he ever felt was indifference, pure distaste, and disgust. With Jude, it was completely different.
The emotions Jude stirred inside him were buoyant and impossible to hold, feelings Sky himself could not even begin to decipher.
Jude was the only person who had ever made him feel this way.
No one else ever had. No one came close.
It was already a quarter to five when the scenery they passed by became familiar.
It was also the time when Jude woke up from his nap.
Jude squinted at him for a moment, but he quickly looked away from Sky and never laid eyes on him again for the rest of the ride.
Once again, it sent a painful sting through Sky’s chest. Sky did not like him to do that.
The inevitable finally came when the Uber stopped in front of Jude’s house.
Sky turned to look at him, expecting, hoping that Jude would finally say something.
However, annoyance instantly flared inside Sky when Jude stepped out of the car, slammed the door shut, and walked away without even sparing him a glance or saying goodbye.
When did he become this disrespectful?! Sky mentally fumed, already about to step out and chase after him just to scold the hell out of him, but he quickly caught himself, biting the inside of his cheek to bridle the outburst threatening to escape.
How dare he? I’m the one paying for this ride! Sky complained mentally.
The driver glanced at Sky in disbelief, clearly about to say something, but Sky was in no mood to entertain him.
“Just fucking go. I’m paying,” Sky muttered sharply under his breath, his expression turning dark.
In frustration, he shot the old driver a glare and kicked the back of the seat, unable to contain his annoyance.
When Sky got home, he found his brother in the living room, working on his laptop and buried in academic papers. Jasper looked up as Sky entered, meeting his usual stoic expression.
“Where have you been? You didn’t come home last night, and you didn’t even go to school today,” he asked, concern evident behind his reading glasses.
“Somewhere,” Sky replied flatly, heading straight to the refrigerator to grab a beer. “I crashed at Kevin’s place,” he added, clearly lying.
Sky knew his brother had already called Kevin the night before to ask if they were together.
Jasper knew that Sky had lied right in front of him.
The hurt in Jasper’s eyes was clearly visible, but Sky was not in the mood to think about him.
He would rather keep lying than admit he had been with Jude.
“I found a part-time job at Annel’s Pharmacy in town. Just letting you know I might be coming home late from time to time,” Jasper said, shifting the topic.
Sky fell silent at the confrontation, remembering how he had always insisted that Jasper prioritize his studies over getting a job. But Jasper was an adult now, cunning enough to make his own decisions. If that was what made him happy, Sky knew he had no place to stop him.
Sky only nodded in agreement.
“I’m going to bed and grab your own dinner. I won’t be having one tonight,” Sky said, ending the conversation.
Jasper knew Sky well enough, so he did not expand the conversation further.
“Just so you know, I’m always here if you need someone to talk to,” Jasper said gently, hoping he would talk to him more, especially about the ongoing fuss in school.
“I love you,” said Jasper.
Sky glanced at him, then walked over, pressing a brief kiss to the top of his head before ruffling his hair.
Without another word, he headed upstairs.
As soon as Sky entered his room, he kicked off his shoes and collapsed face-first onto his bed, his arms sprawled across the black sheets.
That was the only time Sky could feel the exhaustion pouring over him from all that had happened.
Sky dipped his face onto the soft mattress and closed his eyes.
His face was the only image that appeared in his head.
Sky rolled onto his back and folded his arms beneath his head, using them as his pillow. He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts drifting back to the moments they had shared.
He could not get over it.
No matter how much he tried, Sky could not stop thinking about him.
He lingered in his mind until the clock had long passed three in the morning, and sleep finally began to take him.
The last thing he saw before drifting off was the memory of those soft, pink lips meeting his, an image that stayed with him as he slipped into a much-needed sleep.
***
Sky woke up grumpier than usual. When he went downstairs to drink some water, his brother was nowhere in sight. He already figured Jasper had left for school, since it was past seven o’clock.
Sky knew Jasper well enough to understand why he had not waited for him.
Waking him up without his notice was one of Sky’s biggest pet peeves.
No matter who it was—his brother, his pals, or anyone else—they would definitely get beaten if they woke him up.
As for Sky, he had not even bothered to set an alarm.
Sleep mattered more to him than attending a pointless literature class at seven in the morning.
His phone was already flooded with missed calls and unread messages, but he ignored them all, slipping the device back into his pocket without a second thought.
The sun was shining so brightly when Sky came out of their house in the afternoon, but it was noticeably colder than the previous days.
It meant holidays were approaching and winter was coming.
Sky decided to get a haircut first and went to class for a half day because he felt like he was not ready to face Jude yet, but a huge part of Sky wanted to see him.
When Sky arrived at school empty-handed, he noticed that it was chaotic.
Aside from the sensual gasps, disgusting stares, vexatious ogles, and intrigued whispers he received from people around, he also noticed that there was more security on the line.
The entrance to the founder’s building was heavily guarded, with three security personnel stationed at the main entry and one at the exit.
The main entrance also had four guards, while two more were posted at the exit.
Unlike before, only a single employee usually managed each passageway.
Students instinctively made their way as Sky walked toward the entrance. Just as he was about to pass through the gate, a security guard stepped in front of him and blocked his path.
“Hands up,” the guard ordered in a stern, commanding tone.
Sky frowned but complied.
“What’s going on?” he asked firmly, though he already had an idea.
“Drug-related problems. Don’t you know?” the unfamiliar security guard replied casually, though Sky could clearly sense the sarcasm in his tone.