28
Jude practically leapt out of the car the moment it slowed to a stop in front of his foster’s house, even while the engine was still running.
Terror, anxiety, confusion, and everything in between devoured him as he stepped out of the car.
He did not even manage to thank the driver or spare Sky a glance of gratitude for helping him through the days.
Jude could not even bring himself to look at him.
Too many thoughts were crashing through his head, questions that haunted him the entire ride home.
Why did he do that to me?
Why did he kiss me out of nowhere?
What was the reason behind it? I don’t understand.
He hates me so much, doesn’t he? Absolutely.
Is he into boys? Definitely not.
Is he into me? Definitely not.
Is he gay? Definitely not.
Was it all just some kind of prank? Absolutely.
He’s definitely messing with me. Absolutely.
That last thought sent a sharp, painful ache through his chest. But the kiss they shared terrified Jude more than anything. It was his very first kiss, something he had always imagined giving to Jasper someday, yet Sky had stolen it from him instead.
Jude could have pushed him away. He could have stopped it.
But something deep inside him urged him to stay still and let Sky consume that shy, guarded part of him.
It was as if Sky possessed a strange power over him, one that always made Jude obey whatever he said or did.
Sometimes, it felt like Sky owned him, and Jude hated himself for becoming so weak whenever it came to Sky Granger.
What troubled Jude the most, however, was the regret written all over Sky’s face after the kiss. That expression hurt him differently, so much that Jude could no longer bring himself to look at him afterward.
Why did he kiss me in the first place if he was only going to regret it afterward?
It was nothing special. Just a meaningless kiss.
Jude kept repeating those words to himself, trying to convince his heart to pretend it had never happened at all.
However, his mind remained clouded with endless questions.
Jude forced himself to leave those thoughts behind the moment he stepped onto the small staircase leading to their house. His eyes immediately darted to the ground, checking if the things he had left outside the night before were still there. But they were nowhere in sight.
A wave of panic instantly washed over him. Sky’s laptop had been left there too, and Jude feared that some random passerby might have stolen it already.
Anxiety enveloped Jude as he stepped forward and gripped the doorknob with great reluctance.
Slowly, he pushed the door open, his heartbeat pounding violently against his chest, partly from fear that his foster parents might already be home from work.
A shaky sigh escaped his lips when he realized the door was unlocked.
The moment he slipped inside, Jude gently pulled the door shut behind him and closed his eyes in relief.
His hands trembled as he carefully eased it closed, as if a thief were sneaking into someone else’s house.
He barely dared to breathe, terrified that even the slightest sound would alert someone.
But Jude jumped out of his feet when his father’s voice suddenly rang out right behind him.
Startled, he quickly turned around, only for a hard slap from the back of his father’s hand to strike his face before he even saw it coming.
“How dare you show your face in my house after everything you’ve done?
” Francisco hissed; his voice low yet filled with fury that sent fear coursing through Jude’s body.
“How dare you throw a party in my own home? How dare you waste our money going to bars and sucking everyone’s dick?
We raised you properly, and this is how you repay us?
You’re nothing but a disgrace to this family! ”
The words came endlessly in a furious outburst as if he was really waiting to say it all to Jude.
Rage was written across Francisco’s face, which made Jude shrink back in trepidation despite the painful sting spreading across his cheek.
Jude’s lips trembled violently from fear, but he still tried to defend himself because none of what Francisco accused him of was true. They were all lies Mitch had fed them.
“I-I didn’t do a-anything, da—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Francisco roared before another harsh slap landed across Jude’s other cheek.
“Don’t ever call me Dad again.”
“Honey, what’s going on here?” Elvira suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
With her blonde hair tied in a tousled bun and a stained white apron wrapped around her body, she had most likely come straight from the kitchen, which was always her happy place. She always loved the kitchen.
“Oh gosh…” she reacted the moment her eyes landed on him.
Blood trickled from the corner of Jude’s split lip, the wound from yesterday having reopened and worsened.
The metallic taste that filled his mouth was already far too familiar to him.
The painful marks of his father’s hands were clearly imprinted on his pale, already bruised cheeks.
For a brief moment, Jude wondered if she still cared. He desperately hoped she did.
Jude looked at her desperately, clinging to the small hope that she would side with him. But the weight of the world seemed to crash down on him when she only shook her head in disappointment.
“I don’t have a faggot son,” she said coldly.
Elvie’s words shattered Jude completely.
“We never had a son, honey,” Francisco corrected harshly. “And we would never allow ourselves to have a faggot son.”
Jude had once thought hearing that word before was already the most painful thing imaginable, but hearing it directed straight at him, whom he considered his father, his whole nineteen years of existence tripled the agony clawing through his chest.
“In fact,” Francisco continued venomously, “You never came from my sperm and blood. You’re not biologically mine because you’re just an adopted mistake, and I thank God for that every single day. A gay freak like you will never ruin this family’s reputation!”
Engulfed by rage, Francisco suddenly grabbed Jude by the neck and tightened his grip around it. Francisco’s eyes dilated, and the veins in his neck almost popped out.
“I’m grateful you’re not my son! Drill that into your head every second of your miserable life!”
Big balls of tears rolled uncontrollably down Jude’s cheeks.
After what he had overheard the other night, he thought he had already begun accepting the fact that he was adopted.
Somehow, with Sky beside him, he managed to come to terms with it little by little.
But hearing it directly from the man he had called his father his entire life felt completely different.
It crushed him in ways he could not endure.
Jude felt as though his heart was being torn apart, leaving him utterly devastated.
“Honey, that’s enough,” Elvira said as she hurried toward Francisco, trying to assuage him.
“Go to your room, Jude. Now.”
“Pack your things and get out of my sight. I’m giving you an hour,” Francisco ordered before storming out of the house.
Jude flinched slightly when the door slammed shut with enough force to shake the walls.
Through his blurry vision, Jude looked at Elvira with hesitation.
Still kneeling on the floor, he clenched his trembling hands together, trying to gather whatever strength he had left.
His heart broke into infinitesimal pieces at the sight of her because, despite everything, she was the one person he had hoped would stand by him and listen to his side.
Somehow, Jude still loved her even when she had always treated him differently.
“M-mom,” Jude’s voice cracked.
“Just go, Jude,” Elvira said dismissively, her tone cold. “You’re old enough to take care of yourself, and I hope this will be the last time we ever see each other.” She pressed her lips into a thin line, her face completely unreadable. “You’re finally free now.”
***
Jude had already told himself countless times to refrain from crying, but he could no longer hold back the tears endlessly streaming down his cheeks.
The scene from an hour ago kept replaying inside his mind over and over again, especially the cold look in his mother’s eyes when she stared at him without a trace of affection.
Jude sat blankly at the side of the busy street of Sitio Dawilwil, his gaze fixed aimlessly on the void.
Though countless cars passed by, and their dim headlights flashed around him, everything felt like a blur.
Hours slipped by unnoticed. The cold night air slowly settled against his skin, reminding him of how utterly alone he was.
Then came morning. Then afternoon. Then night again.
Maybe the world really was cruel.
But then again, Jude realized he should stop questioning it, because life had always been cruel to him from the very beginning.
The sky offered him no mercy. As if mocking his misery, the rain suddenly came pouring down, making him break even more.
Too numb to care, Jude stayed where he was and let the rain drench him completely.
He did not bother protecting his belongings, allowing everything around him to soak alongside him.
The weight inside his chest grew heavier and heavier until there were no tears left for him to cry.
Trembling from the cold and hunger, Jude tried to get back on his feet, but his legs had gone numb. He stumbled to the ground, and the world before his eyes slowly faded into darkness.
And before his eyes fully closed, Jude thought one final prayer—to never see the sun again.