36
“And I’m willing to sacrifice my life for you.
I’m willing to climb mountains to reach your hands.
I’m willing to go to war just to win you.
I’m willing to take the bullets for you.
I’m willing to die for you. I will go wherever you go, even if you hate me, even if you always avoided me, even if you don’t like me very much, even if you always push me—I’ll keep finding my way back to you because you are my home.
You are my home, Jude Finn. You always have been,” Sky confessed wholeheartedly.
Never in his life had Sky imagined himself saying something like this.
But at this moment, confessing to Jude felt more important than anything else.
He needed Jude to know how deeply he loved him.
He needed him to know that someone cared for him more than words could ever express.
Maybe…just maybe, if Jude understood the depth of his feelings, he would stop thinking about death.
Maybe if Jude knew how desperately he was loved, he would choose to stay.
Maybe he would stop considering leaving Sky behind.
Sky could not imagine his life without Jude. For more than five years, it had been a natural obligation for Sky to see him in school. Sky could not picture a single day without seeing him. Jude had become his sanctuary.
Even on weekends, Sky found himself drawn to him.
He would visit the neighborhood without Jude knowing, just for the chance to see him.
Hidden beneath the shade of the old mahogany tree, Sky would spend hours watching him through his old telescope pointed at his bedroom window.
Jude would be engrossed in a novel or buried in his textbooks, completely unaware of the pair of eyes admiring him from afar.
And Sky never grew tired of it.
He would never grow tired of it.
No matter how many times he watched him, it was never enough.
There had been one time when Jude was absent from school, and Sky could not spot him at his house either.
The entire day, Sky was really mad and grumpy to the point that even Kevin and Julius could not go near him.
When Jude finally returned to school the next day, Sky greeted him with punches and authoritative threats disguised as anger.
The truth was, Sky felt like he could not function without seeing him.
A single day without Jude left him drained, as though all his energy had vanished.
“Just…just give me a chance to make everything right,” he cried.
He never cried in front of people. But with Jude, he often got emotional and vulnerable.
Sky was astonished internally when, out of the impossible, Jude suddenly smashed his mouth against his lips. It was the last thing he had expected from someone like Jude Finn.
Jude the fucking Finn.
Sky could not move, completely stunned. But despite the shock, one thing remained certain: his feelings had never changed.
Jude was deeply hurt. He was sick. He was not thinking clearly. Sky knew that. There was no way Jude would be doing any of this if he were in the right state of mind.
Earlier, gathering the courage to confess his feelings had taken everything Sky had.
It was not easy. If Jude only knew how reluctant Sky had been to expose the truth he had hardly hidden for so long—now, watching Jude like this, Sky almost regretted it.
If he were given the chance to make the choice again, he was not sure he would confess at all.
Sky felt a pang of regret when Jude’s face remained completely expressionless, especially when he kissed him without any real feeling behind it.
At least that was what Sky felt. Jude simply pressed their lips together and explored Sky’s mouth with awkward curiosity and experimentation.
He did not even know how to kiss properly.
He was like a puppy nuzzling at the mouth of someone from its pack—innocent, and entirely unaware of what he was doing.
There was no sincerity in the kiss. Sky could feel it. That was why he refused to part his lips for him, despite Jude’s desperate, persistent attempts to deepen it. Jude kept trying, driven by frustration and inexperience, only to become annoyed when Sky would not open his mouth.
Sky should have been happy. After all, Jude was kissing him willingly. It was the very thing Sky had wanted for years. Instead of satisfaction, all he felt was disappointment. He was not happy. If anything, he felt frustrated and used, even.
“I wouldn’t let you kiss me when you are not sincere about it,” Sky admitted truthfully.
The ache in his chest was sharp and heavy. He should have already known this was how it would feel.
It pained Sky more when Jude snickered.
“What do you know about sincerity, Sky Granger?” Jude asked in full sarcasm.
It caught Sky off guard. He gritted his teeth, trying to temper himself, reminding himself that Jude was just too hurt. He was only miserable. He needed to calm himself down and not get mad in retaliation. Sky had known him for so long already. He knew his personality.
Sky stared directly into those gray eyes. He could obviously see how forlorn they were.
“I only wanted you to kiss me back, and you have said a lot of unnecessary things, you jerk!” Jude cried and punched Sky’s chest multiple times.
“Don’t try me, Jude,” Sky warned firmly.
He was trying to cool down and calm his dick as much as possible with his request.
“Try what? What are you going to do, huh?” Jude raised his voice as well as his eyebrows. “I’m already used to your threats, you coward. You asshole!”
Jude glared at Sky, but he did not even know how to get angry.
Sky could not stop himself from reaching for Jude’s arm and pulling him closer. Jude let out a soft gasp. Sky felt the warmth of his uneven breaths brushing against his face.
“I like seeing you this way,” Sky murmured as he drew him nearer. “Not afraid of me anymore.”
Their closeness stirred something deep within him. A familiar feeling in his chest, the one he had never been able to understand before—now beat with undeniable vividness.
“If only you knew how much I am hardly controlling myself not to kiss you and just deflower you right here, right now, Jude…” Sky confessed before he could stop himself, pulling Jude closer as if they were not already closing the gap between them.
Sky’s gaze drifted to Jude’s lips—hydrated, pink, soft, and tender, making it difficult to look away.
It was tempting Sky. Jude was breathtaking up close.
Every detail seemed perfect—the dusting of freckles across his skin, the shape of his nose, his thick brows approximately meeting in the middle, his eyes behind his thick lenses, the innocence shimmering outward.
Sky found himself studying every feature, inculcating them into memory.
There was something about him that left Sky completely ruined.
The closer he stood, the harder it became to ignore the overwhelming gravity drawing him in.
Jude had unintentionally made something in between Sky’s pants very angry, especially when Jude was this close to him, and a force somewhere in his body pressed his growing possession down there.
He was on the verge of giving in. One small gesture from Jude, and all of his restraint might shatter.
“Then stop controlling yourself, Sky. Do it,” Jude challenged while penetrating profoundly into Sky’s gaze.
“I beg you to do it.” Sky stared into his mouth.
Every word spilled felt like slow motion, echoing into his brain and sending a shock of dilation into his dick.
“I beg you to kiss and fuck me.”
Just like that, Sky totally lost it.
Jude had already crossed the line. Despite all his determination to hold himself back, Sky could no longer resist the temptation that had been tormenting him. Jude begged, and that was Sky’s very weakness.
Sky’s lips captured Jude’s before he could stop himself. Sky had convinced himself that he had buried those feelings. He had convinced himself that he was in complete control. He had even tried to believe that Jude’s kisses meant nothing to him. But he had been lying to himself.
The truth was—he had been craving him all along.
Sky’s hand slid to the back of Jude’s neck, drawing him closer until there was barely any space left between them. He held him there—skin to skin, mouth to mouth, flesh to flesh, hands wandering everywhere on their bodies, unwilling to let the distance return.
Sky hungrily savored Jude’s mouth completely.
The strength of his intense desire Sky felt over the five years, growing every day inside him, ripped open.
Sky licked him, seeping and swallowing his saliva and playing his tongue violently with his.
He became so aggressive, nibbling his bottom lip, then going to the upper one for like five minutes each, draining Jude out of liquid in his body.
Sky was so thirsty. In fact, Sky had been so hungry for him for so long.
He had been having wet dreams for so long.
He had been his fantasy for so long. He had been imagining him in the bathroom, in the bed, inside the car, in the hidden corner of the library, in the warehouse, and everywhere when his dick twitched—for so long.
He had been so curious about him for so long.
And when they kissed, Sky could not stop himself.
Sky could not control himself. The wait was worth it.
Sky’s hands snaked downwards and found Jude’s ass.
With his two huge hands, he tightly held his bouncy little pumpkin.
Sky tried to squeeze it firmly, feeling the pleasure growing more with every squeeze and every push and press of his body toward touching his hardened cock.
He was too greedy. He would die for his ass.
When he undressed Jude last night, the image of his butt did not leave his mind.
He kept thinking about it. And every time he did, he got hardened.
There was no one else who should hold this ass but only me. Jude’s only mine. Sky thought.