35
No matter how hard Jude tried to process Sky’s words, his mind refused to accept the confession he had just heard. The revelation of Sky’s feelings seemed too impossible, too unreal for his brain to comprehend. Disbelief and confusion swirled inside him. After all, this was Sky Granger.
With his forehead resting against Jude’s shoulder, Sky seemed to carry a burden far heavier than Jude had ever imagined.
Jude felt frozen in place, unable to breathe, move, or even think clearly.
The silence between them was deafening despite the storm raging around them.
Sky’s uneven breaths brushed against the sensitive skin of his neck.
After a few moments, Sky finally pulled away.
Jude should have felt relieved, yet a part of him wished Sky had stayed.
He was not ready to face those piercing eyes—eyes that, despite all the years they had known each other, he still had not memorized.
Sky gently turned Jude around to face him.
Jude offered no resistance. He simply followed Sky’s lead, too stunned to do anything else.
Sky seemed unable to meet his eyes. A minute trace of shyness flickered across Sky’s face as his gaze wandered around Jude’s face.
But eventually, he gathered his courage and looked directly into his gray eyes.
The intensity in his eyes left Jude at a loss.
There was something there, something raw and profound that his heart recognized, but his mind could not name.
Normally, Jude would have looked away first, intimidated by the weight of Sky’s stare.
But somehow, he found himself holding his ground, refusing to retreat.
What shocked him even more was the sight of tears sliding down Sky’s cheeks. It did not have to be like this. Jude wished he were not serious. He wished it was only droplets of rainfall. But it was not. And it was his very first time seeing him cry.
“And I’m willing to sacrifice my life for you.
I’m willing to climb mountains to reach your hands.
I’m willing to go to war just to win you.
I’m willing to take the bullets for you.
I’m willing to die for you. I will go wherever you go, even if you hate me, even if you always avoided me, even if you don’t like me very much, even if you always push me—I’ll keep finding my way back to you because you are my home.
You are my home, Jude Finn. You always have been,” he said hoarsely, in his typical Southern accent.
The words were spoken with complete sincerity, his voice low and trembling. There was no trace of a threat, no hint of a command, none of the arrogance or confidence Sky usually carried. Instead, it sounded like a plea.
“Just…just give me a chance to make everything right,” he sobbed.
Jude remained rooted to the spot, unable to move.
No coherent thought could form inside his mind.
Everything had gone completely blank. The world had truly stopped spinning.
The only thing he could see was Sky’s golden eyes locked onto his own.
Eyes brimming with a vulnerability and affection that Jude could not quite fathom, much less accept.
Despite his confusion, he could see the sincerity in them. He could feel it.
That was what made everything so unbelievable. It all felt too unreal, as if he had somehow fallen into a dream. Part of him desperately wished that he were dreaming. But this was not a dream.
This was real.
And because it was real, he had to reject it.
Jude did not know what came to mind when he took a step forward without breaking eye contact. Maybe because of the chaotic emotions he had felt.
Jude simply did not know.
Jude tiptoed and wrapped his arms around Sky’s neck so he could lean down. He crashed his lips against Sky’s familiar taste. Sky immediately stiffened in surprise. Jude could feel it. He knew Sky had not expected this, just as he had not expected it from himself.
Jude devoured his lips—biting, nibbling, and sucking his upper and lower flesh with aloof intimacy. Sky did not do anything.
Clearly astounded.
Jude deepened the kiss, pouring every ounce of confusion, frustration, and emotion into it. Sky remained motionless, seemingly too stunned to react.
Jude forcefully tried to enter his mouth using his tongue, but Sky would not let him. Jude tried to enter again, this time with more force, so that he could make his way inside his mouth, but Sky remained stubborn.
“Open your mouth,” Jude commanded in frustration under his heavy breath.
He looked at Sky’s wet and pink lips, glistening with his saliva.
His gaze drifted to the small stubble above Sky’s upper lip and along his jaw.
The rough hairs gave Jude a pleasurable feeling when they brushed against his skin during their kiss.
Jude had always noticed how often Sky shaved, but he had also noticed how quickly the stubborn hairs grew back.
The sight of Sky’s lips was mesmerizing, drawing Jude’s gaze back to them once again. He tiptoed and leaned in again, kissing him with renewed intensity, but Sky was very obstinate. The restraint only made something inside Jude ache even more.
He wanted to cry.
“I said open your mouth,” he repeated, voice trembling with a desperation he could not understand.
Jude crashed his lips against Sky’s once more, one hand gripping his cheek while the other practically tangled in his newly barbered buzz cut as though trying to bridge the distance that remained between them.
Sky let Jude kiss him.
But he still did not let him have access to his tongue. The more Sky held back, the more frustrated Jude became. Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes, and before long, they began spilling down his cheeks.
Jude ceased his irrational desperation as he slowly slid his face in exhaustion, from his neck down to his chest. Jude creased Sky’s shirt using both his hands and started sobbing.
“I wouldn’t let you kiss me if you weren’t being sincere about it,” said Sky.
A broken laugh escaped Jude’s lips even as tears continued to fall. At this point, he felt like he was losing his mind.
“What do you know about sincerity, Sky Granger?” he shot back sarcastically, his lips twisted wryly.
“I’ve known you for over five years, Jude. I know when you’re being honest and when you’re not. So, stop doing things just because you are miserable and you want to forget.” Sky said, his voice deep and stern.
The words hit Jude like a slap, catching him completely off guard.
“Excuse me?” he blurted, staring at him in disbelief. “You know me, Sky, but you actually don’t. I hope you can see the difference with that,” Jude snorted.
“My whole world revolves around you,” Sky said, staring deeply into his eyes.
Jude blinked, taken aback.
“I know every little detail about your life. So, when I tell you you’re miserable, it’s because you are. For once, just listen to me,” Sky said with such certainty that it sounded as though he knew Jude better than Jude knew himself.
“Why would I listen to you?” Jude snapped. “Stop being delusional. And I’m not miserable!”
“You’re hurt.” Sky slightly widened his eyes as he penetrated deep into his soul.
The simple statement made Jude fall silent.
“You’re hurting, you’re exhausted, you’re sick, and you’re not thinking clearly right now. Let’s go back inside.”
The calm conviction in Sky’s voice only irritated him further.
“Wow,” Jude scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You just confessed your feelings to me, and somehow, you’re still this bossy and stubborn. The nerve of you, asshole!”
Jude’s eyes narrowed as anger flared in his chest.
“You’re the one who’s not in the right mind here!” Jude said, voice rising.
Jude shoved him hard against the chest, putting all his frustration behind the push. Sky barely moved. He remained standing exactly where he was, unfazed by the force of it.
“You’re angry because it’s true,” Sky said.
Jude faltered. It pained him, maybe because what he said was the reality.
“Shut up!” Jude shouted, anger finally bursting through.
It was the first time he could clearly remember saying those words to Sky. He was caught off guard.
“You’re an asshole, and I still hate you a lot, and you’re the worst human being I’ve ever met!” Jude screamed at the top of his lungs as he repeatedly punched his fists against Sky’s chest.
Each blow made Sky’s body shift slightly, but not once did it force him to take a step back.
“I only wanted you to kiss me back, and you have said a lot of unnecessary things, you jerk!” Jude cried, continuing to hit him.
Jude was hurt. Sky’s words pierced through him. He wanted to deny it, but Sky was being completely unreasonable. Every word he said only made Jude’s tears fall harder.
“You stole my first kiss away from me! And now, you can’t kiss me back? The audacity of you, Sky Granger! That was very unfair! I should just let other guys kiss me then!” Jude whined.
“Don’t try me, Jude Finn,” Sky warned, jutting his jaw and biting the inside of his cheek as he struggled to keep himself under control.
“Try what? What are you going to do, huh?” Jude shot back, finally stopping his assault on Sky’s chest. “I’m already used to your threats, you coward. You asshole! I hate you so so much!”
Jude glared at him with a storm in his eyes. He was helpless. Somehow, whining like this was the only way he knew how to cope with the sting of Sky’s rejection and the embarrassment that came with it.
Sky’s gaze was full of tenderness, which only made Jude even more frustrated and angry. After his outburst, Jude finally caught up. He was panting and tired.
“I like seeing you this way,” Sky admitted quietly. “Not afraid of me anymore.”
Before Jude could pull away, Sky caught his arm and drew him closer until only a breath separated them.
“If only you knew how much I am hardly controlling myself not to kiss you and just deflower you right here, right now, Jude Finn…” Sky murmured, his voice rough with restraint.
Sky lifted a hand and cupped his face. He gently brushed some of his tears away with his thumb.
“Then stop controlling yourself, Sky Granger.” Jude induced. “Do it. I beg you to do it.”
Jude stared into his eyes with intense desperation.
“I beg you to kiss and fuck me.”