8. Eight
In contrast to the bright and spacious classroom Atlas teaches in, Professor Riggs” lecture hall is dark and cozy. Inclined seating faces the front of the room where Riggs” desk and several dark, wooden bookshelves are nestled. The only light that seeps inside are from the four circular windows behind me at the back of the classroom. When I first entered, I caught whiffs of eucalyptus, pine, and old books, and even though it”s a very masculine aesthetic, I feel at ease and ready to soak up every word Riggs speaks.
Once pleasantries have been exchanged and I get comfortable next to Nyx in our seats, Riggs rolls out from behind his desk and makes his way to the blackboard where he charts in white chalk a rough timeline of major events in the history of Dalerin. I”m relieved to discover not everything Master Kaius taught me about the history of Dalerin was a complete falsehood. Professor Riggs gives me a quick recap of the Six Kingdoms and even though I”m eager to get to the history and lore of the Celestials, I enjoy listening to him teach. He”s enthusiastic and animated, emphasizing his points by waving his hands around.
Completely enraptured with the husky tone of his voice, I barely register a tall, broad-shouldered man slip inside the lecture hall carrying a stack of heavy-looking tomes. He puffs curly brown hair from his face, and the sound of the door slamming shut behind him jars Professor Riggs, alerting him to his assistant”s presence.
”Ahh, Dane!” Riggs brushes blonde strands of hair from his forehead, placing the white chalk on the lip by the blackboard. ”Did you have trouble finding them?”
Dane shakes his head, ”No, Professor. I just hope I found what you were looking for.”
Riggs scratches his chin, his eyes roving up and down the spines of the ancient books. As if remembering I”m in the room, he whips his head to me, eyes wide, and with blushing cheeks says, ”Pardon me, Princess. I asked Dane to bring some of my favorite legend and lore books from my office.”
I smile and motion for him to continue what he was doing. ”I am in no rush, I assure you.”
With a quick nod, Riggs refocuses on his assistant and begins rummaging through the books piled on his desk, whispering back and forth with Dane.
With the welcome distraction, I stretch my arms above my head and glance at the clock hanging on the wall to my right. I”m surprised to see how quickly the hour has flown by. Despite my growing curiosity of what might lie in the newly arrived tomes, I know the contents will have to wait until the next lesson. As much as I would love to skip my next class to keep listening to Professor Riggs, I can”t. It”s Atlas” class and the last thing I need is for him to be irritated that I put Riggs before him.
What am I even saying? Atlas would probably be a little sore that I didn”t show up but might actually love the free time to himself. I shoo the unwanted excitement at seeing him in a few minutes away and strike up hushed conversation with Nyx.
”He”s very passionate about history,” I whisper, but when he doesn”t respond, I glance over to find his head tipped upward, fast asleep. I elbow him in the ribs, forcing his eyes to fly open.
”Is it over?” He wipes drool from the corner of his mouth.
”No,” I hiss. ”You fell asleep.”
”Well, wake me when he”s finished.”
”Absolutely not.” I shake his forearm before he has a chance to settle back into his comfortable position. ”If I have to sit here and listen, so do you.”
”Why do you hate me, Kitarni?” he groans. ”What did I ever do to you?”
”You kidnapped me.”
”You”re welcome,” he teases, flashing me a mischievous smile. He sits up straight and stretches his arms over his head. ”Fine. I”ll stay awake. Not because I want to, but to avoid you elbowing me like that again. What are your elbows made of anyway? Steel?”
I smirk and roll my eyes. ”Quit crying, you big baby.” I jerk my chin toward Professor Riggs, still chatting with his assistant. ”He”s actually very interesting to listen to, if you give him a chance. Very passionate.”
”I”m sure he is.” Nyx roots his elbow to the armrest between us and cups his chin. ”I”d be even more interested, if his assistant was a beautiful woman.”
”Are you always horny?” I tease.
”Maybe,” he arches an eyebrow playfully, ”but never for long.”
”Of course not.” I shake my head and sarcastically say, ”You”re Lord Nicodemus Harland. You can”t keep the women away from you.”
”Sounds like you”re jealous.”
”Hardly.” I fold my arms over my chest.
He leans closer and whispers, ”If you grow tired of waiting for Atlas to make the first move, you can always do it.”
I refuse to look at him, keeping my eyes pinned on Professor Riggs at the front of the lecture hall.
”Or take care of your urges on your own.”
”Nyx,” I hiss in warning.
”All I”m saying is you don”t have to be jealous of me – ”
”I”m not.”
” – or all the action I”m getting. You are a powerful and desirable woman. If you really wanted to, you could put the moves on my brother.” Nyx chuckles softly and shakes his head. ”I love my brothers, but they can be so dense at times.”
”Meaning?”
”Meaning,” he returns my stare, ”as much as Atlas wants you to believe he”s this hardass, he”s probably more concerned about your thoughts and feelings than his own.” Nyx rolls his shoulders back and tilts his head until his neck cracks. ”Unlike myself, Atlas will respect the fact you”re engaged to another.”
”Well, I have no intention of marrying Bastian anymore.”
”Does Atlas know that?”
I sigh. ”No.”
”Maybe you should tell him, Kitarni.”
Maybe I should tell him, but what would I gain from sharing that truth? Its possible Atlas might want to be with me, but it”s also possible that he won”t care, and my lustful thoughts will remain unreciprocated.
I”ve heard gossip from the ladies of the Midorian court that men lose interest in their lovers or wives because the challenge to claim them – to win their hearts – is gone and there is nothing left to do but bide one”s time until death”s embrace comes. They desire what they can”t have and pursue those who are just out of reach.
Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I”d end my lifelong engagement to Bastian, but here I am. In my mind, I am a free woman, but my heart aches with the thought that I”m somehow betraying Bastian, dishonoring my parents, and worse, bringing shame upon my people by disregarding our traditions.
But are they my people?
Are they my parents?
My tortured mind screams and suddenly I”m feeling restless and queasy.
When the clock chimes, officially ending class for the day, I jump up from my seat, ready to get a breath of fresh air.
”My apologies, Princess,” Riggs slips his spectacles from his face and rests them flatly on one of the newly acquired books. ”Hopefully, during our next class, I can answer more of your questions.”
”No need to apologize, Professor.” I smile, but panic stirs, and I need to get out of the room before I have trouble breathing. ”I look forward to our next session.”
”If you have a minute to spare,” he starts to flip through the tome in front of him, ”I think you”d be very interested in seeing – ”
Nyx slips his arm over my shoulders and politely interrupts a very enthusiastic Riggs, ”Pardon, Professor, but Princess Ilaria has a strict schedule to follow. I”m afraid we don”t have a minute to spare today but perhaps you can show her your findings tomorrow?”
”Oh, yes, of course!” Riggs bobs his head and smiles at me. ”I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, Princess.”
Nyx is already ushering me toward the door when I bid Riggs and Dane goodbye. The second the door closes behind us, Nyx removes his arm and dips down to catch my line of sight.
”You”re panicking.” Not a question, a statement. He snatches my hand in his and tugs me down the hall. ”Come with me.”
Other classes let out and students in different color robes spill out into the hallway. There are so many people weaving around that my claustrophobia flares up, causing my panic to intensify. I keep breathing as steadily as I can, hoping and praying I don”t give up and crouch in the middle of the corridor and cry. But with Nyx in front of me, gently pulling me along, his enormous figure is enough to part the sea of Tronovian faces. He doesn”t even break stride once as he takes me to one of the archways that leads to a small garden. When we step out onto the warm pavers in the quiet garden, the floral scent and the soothing trickle of the water fountain puts my fraying nerves at ease.
Feeling dizzy and nauseous, I plop down on the ground, press my back against one of the knee-high stone garden walls, and take a deep, steadying breath. Even though my eyes are closed, I sense Nyx crouch in front of me, but several seconds pass before he asks:
”How often do you have these panic attacks?”
My eyes slowly flutter open, and I meet his concerned gaze. ”It”s only happened a few times.” I brush the back of my hand against my forehead, wiping the beads of sweat from my brow. ”I”m alright, Nyx. I just need a second.”
”Do you need anything? Water? Food?”
I shake my head. ”Once I calm down, I”ll be alright.” He quirks a brow, clearly convinced I”m downplaying this, so I slip my hand in his and squeeze. ”I don”t intend to go through with marrying Bastian, and even though I know that”s the right decision, I can”t help but think I”m going to hurt him. I know my parents will be disappointed, and my people will most likely deny me as the rightful heir to the throne once they discover what I am.”
”Fuck them.”
My eyes widen in surprise. ”What?”
”Your parents drugged you and lied to you your entire life. Bastian isn”t who he portrays himself to be and sent actual demons to fetch you.” Nyx”s brows nearly touch as his frown deepens. ”And your people would be fools if they denied you being their queen, just because you don”t have a man sitting by your side. So, fuck them.” He drops to his knees and plants his callous hands on either side of my face, forcing me to hold his intense stare. ”Do not feel guilty because you chose yourself. Sometimes you have to leave those you love behind, especially when they didn”t love you the way you deserved.”
My bottom lip quivers when I whisper, ”I know they love me.”
”They love you on their terms, Kitarni. You trusted them, obeyed them without question, and put their expectations before your own needs.” His voice softens. ”At the end of the day, you deserve better.”
Tears slip down my cheeks and Nyx gently thumbs them away.
”Princess Ilaria?” Headmistress Radcliffe”s voice shoots through the humble garden, drawing my gaze and forcing Nyx to release my face. ”Is everything alright?” Her pointed stare hardens on Nyx. ”What is going on, Mr. Harland?”
I clear my throat and force myself to my feet. ”Everything is perfectly fine, Headmistress. I needed some fresh air, but I”m so clumsy, I stumbled and twisted my ankle, so Nyx helped me sit down. He was kind enough to deal with my tears as I rode out the pain.”
Her judgmental gaze immediately turns to one of concern. ”Oh my goodness, do we need to get you to the medical wing?”
”That won”t be necessary.” I wave her off, exchanging a quick look with Nyx. Bless him, he understands what I”m needing him to do and slithers his arm around my waist, so I can play this twisted ankle bit off. We slowly make our way to the doorway and the headmistress steps out of our path.
”Please let me know if there is anything you need,” she calls out as we hobble down the hallway.
”I will, thank you!”
We carry on the charade until we turn the corner and Nyx drops his arm from my waist and laughs. ”You little shit.”
All comebacks die on the tip of my tongue, and I laugh with him as we ascend the spiral staircase to Atlas” classroom. But instead of seeing the shadow wielder waiting on us, I”m pleasantly surprised to see Ronan lounging in the bleachers.
He flashes a regal smile our way and hops up to greet us. ”Well, hello there.”
”What brings you here?” I meet him in the middle of the room.
Ronan stuffs his hands into his pockets, teetering back and forth on his heels. ”Thought I would see how you were doing and observe what Atlas is teaching you.”
”So, spying for your father, are we?”
He winks. ”You”re quick, Princess.”
I glance around the room, expecting Atlas to be hiding somewhere watching but I still don”t see him anywhere. I know how he hates tardiness, so I”m surprised he”s absent.
”He”s not here,” Ronan interrupts my thoughts. ”I passed him on my way up. He said he needed to grab something from his office.”
I point at the desk on the other side of the room. ”I thought that was his office.”
Ronan and Nyx both laugh, but the prince says, ”No. That”s just his classroom workspace.”
The sudden thought of Atlas grabbing me and bending me over his desk in his private study has me feeling flushed.
”Calm down, Kitarni.” Nyx shakes his head. ”You”ve seriously got to get that under control.”
Ronan”s eyes are wide, and his mouth is agape, staring at my hands. ”What”s happening to your hands? Are they glowing?”
”Anytime she has dirty thoughts about Atlas, her hands and eyes glow,” Nyx says before I have a chance to explain.
”Not just dirty thoughts!” I retort and Nyx points an accusatory finger at me.
”Ah ha! So, you admit you have dirty thoughts about him!”
”Wait! No, I didn”t – ”
”So, my cousin, huh?” Ronan scratches along his stubbled jawline. ”I figured as much. He was so protective over you at the row house. I thought for sure we were going to have to sedate him at Starnborough to keep him from pacing a hole into the floor while you met with my father.”
”Atlas was worried about me?” I ask, wondering why that thought both excites and saddens me.
Ronan bobs his head. ”He would never outright admit it, but he was concerned about you.”
”I”m not sure which is worse,” Nyx huffs, folding his arms across his chest, and bumping me playfully with his hip, ”You glowing whenever you have dirty thoughts about him or him pacing like a caged animal concerned about you.”
I shove him and roll my eyes. ”You”re an idiot,” I tease, rendering a smile from him.
”Tell me you don”t have feelings for him, that you don”t want him, and I won”t joke about it again.” Nyx issues the challenge knowing damn well I can”t deny that I have deeper feelings for Atlas besides just attraction, but before I have a chance to fumble through a clumsy answer, Atlas comes through the tunneled entrance, carrying a folded black mat over his shoulder. Amusement glazes over his face when he sees the three of us standing in the middle of the room, waiting on him.
”Well, it looks like we”ll have an audience for our lesson today, Strenlys.”
His use of my Tronovian pet name sends a welcome shiver down my spine.
Throwing the mat on the floor in front of us, he unfolds it, spreading it across the red circle.
”Sparring or spying today, Ronan?” Atlas asks.
Ronan flashes a coy smile. ”Spectating.”
”Nyx will show you where to sit.” Atlas shoos them away and turns his attention to me, readjusting his black leather, fingerless gloves. ”We”ll be learning more hand-to-hand combat and eventually we will incorporate magic. But as far as you”re concerned, today you have no magic, so don”t blast a ball of light at me.”
”Understood.” I dip my head in acknowledgement as he faces me with his feet hips-width apart and shoulders squared to mine.
”Your one goal is to try to pin me to the mat.”
”Wait, what?”
Atlas takes a few steps to the opposite side of the mat and stops when his toes are straddling the line. ”You know the basics of hand-to-hand combat. By the end of our lesson, and without using your magic, I expect you to try to take me down.”
I quirk an eyebrow and snap my fingers. ”Just like that?”
He barely nods in acknowledgment. ”If you can.”
”And what”s your goal?” I tilt my head.
He smiles and I dismiss the flutters it sends surging through me. ”To stop you, of course.”
”Considering I”ve only learned self-defense moves, I imagine your job will be rather easy today.”
”Why don”t we make this interesting then, Princess,” he coos. ”If you manage to knock me off my feet, I”ll buy you whatever you want: clothes, jewelry, a new weapon, you name it and it”s yours.”
He certainly knows the way to nab my attention. To say I”m intrigued would be an understatement. Traveling through Tronovia every day and seeing the countless shops filled with dazzling goods has me considering taking him up on his wager. ”Let”s say I fail. What do you get for stopping me?”
”If I pin you,” the wicked gleam in his eyes has my stomach in knots, ”then you have to answer one of my questions truthfully.”
”Is this a one-time offer?”
He shakes his head and strands of rebellious hair fall across his forehead. All I want to do is tug my fingers through it. ”No,” his voice slices through my thoughts. ”My offer stands for the entire semester.”
I mull over his proposition. I know there”s no way in hell I”m pinning him to the mat today, but is it worth embarrassing myself over? Is it worth answering any of his personal and intrusive questions truthfully? I glance over at the bleachers where Nyx and Ronan are perched like two lazy, mischievous cats. Neither of them says anything, but from the competitive gleam in Nyx”s eyes, I know he wants me to take the deal. Honestly, just the thought of Atlas” hands being all over my body has me willing to shake hands on the matter.
I purge that thought from my mind, hoping my hands don”t start to glow and extend my hand to him. ”It”s a deal.”
A crooked grin snakes across his face as he takes my hand in his and squeezes. ”Let”s see what you”ve got, Princess.”
I rack my brain for everything Nyx taught me during our trek through Bava and take a defensive stance. Atlas quickly stomps toward me and once he”s within reach, he snatches my arm and tries to whip me around, but I slam my arm down against his, breaking the hold.
He nods in approval, ”Good girl. Now when you slam down on my forearm,” he takes my hand in his and presses it against his arm, ”make sure you put more force behind it and hit this pressure point.” I glance up only to see he”s already watching me. ”Again?”
”Again.” My mouth is suddenly dry.
Atlas takes a step back before grabbing my wrist again. I do as he instructs and slam my arm against the pressure point, and he instantly releases and shakes his arm out.
”Good. Much better.”
”Did I hurt you?”
”Not yet,” he shakes his head. ”Again,” he resets.
We repeat the same motion several times before he adds in a second move. When I block his attack, he allows that momentum to take him and turns around with an elbow coming straight for my face. Thankfully his movements are slow and I”m able to dodge the blow. He bobs his head again and straightens.
”Good. Let”s try that again.”
Over and over and over we repeat the same two moves without adding anything new. Growing bored and tired of the repetition, the moment he goes to restart I hold a hand up, stopping his advancement.
”Is something wrong?” he asks, and I shake my head.
”Is this all you”re going to teach me today?” My question seems to catch him off-guard. ”Nyx already showed me these moves in Bava and I was hoping to learn something different.”
I don”t mean for my words to come across disrespectfully, but when Ronan and Nyx howl in delight I can”t help but fear I offended Atlas. Quickly, I tear my eyes from the two laughing buffoons to glance up at Atlas and thankfully, I only see curiosity in his gaze. So, why does that make me more nervous?
”I am more than happy to move on to more advanced material,” he says.
I arch a brow, suspicion stirring within me at his ready compliance. My heart races and my head screams in warning that this is a trap, but I ask, ”Really?”
”Really.” He smiles, and a sinking feeling in my stomach has my shoulders tensing. ”Show me what else Nyx has taught you.”
Shit. This isn”t going to go well.
I take my defensive stance and let loose a shaky breath. He stalks toward me and just as all the other times before, he reaches for my wrist, and I block his attack. Spinning in the direction I slammed down on his arm, he turns, bringing an elbow straight to my face. I easily dodge the blow, oddly proud of myself for keeping up with the increased speed, but I fail to notice Atlas” leg sweep my feet out from under me. I fall, but before I hit the mat, he slips an arm under me and catches me and lowers me to the mat before straddling my hips.
As he stares down at me, he smirks and says, ”You owe me a truth.” But I don”t care. The image of him hovering above me naked has my breathing ragged.
Planting his hands on either side of my head, he lowers himself, so his chest presses against mine. His lips brush my ear and every hair on my body stands at attention.
”Because of your impatience,” his whisper instantly melts me, ”you are now at my mercy. I can do whatever I want to you and there”s nothing you can do to stop me.”
I”m not sure whether I should be intimidated or thoroughly turned on. I turn my face to meet his line of sight and my cheek brushes against his. ”Ask your question.”
There”s a flash of surprise in his eyes and a smirk plays at his lips. ”Does me being on top of you excite you, Princess?”
I inadvertently shudder beneath him, and he lets loose a low, knowing chuckle. ”Those eyes of yours betray your thoughts.”
I inch my face closer to his and the smug smile he”s sporting fades. His eyes tell me how hungry he is for me, and I relish the power I seem to have over him. I press my lips against his ear and admit, ”Yes, I like you on top of me.”
In that brief moment of confusion, I wrap my legs around his torso and flip him onto his back, pinning him to the mat. Slowly, I stand up, maintaining eye contact the entire time. ”Fighting gloves.”
”What?”
”That”s my price for pinning you.”
He”s too stunned to say anything in response, and I don”t wait around for him to sober up. ”I look forward to our next lesson, Professor.” The corners of my lips tug upward as I strut toward the tunnel to leave. I can feel Atlas” burning gaze pinned between my shoulder blades, but I refuse to turn around. I want him to think about this encounter for days.
”Holy hell, Kitarni!” Nyx catches up to me and has a stupid grin plastered on his face.
”What?”
”I don”t think I”ve ever seen someone pin Atlas that easily,” Nyx laughs, with Ronan hot on his heels. ”And if I”m being honest, that was probably one of the sexiest things I”ve ever seen a woman do.”
”I hope you know that you”ll probably pay for that stunt during your next lesson.” The prince can”t hide his wild-eyed amusement and I know he”s right.
Atlas won”t easily forget how I bested him at his own game, and I will definitely pay for it later, but feeling his weight on top of me, his body pressed against mine, will haunt me at night. And I certainly welcome those dreams.