Chapter 6
The silence broke, everyone swinging back into action at once.
Death sat back, her face a mask of impassivity once again.
The trainee put the weights back in the case and reset the scales; Judges turned to each other, talking in low voices, and Daphne walked back up the steps to join the Tempters.
She looked at ease, even bored, but I noticed her hands were clenched into fists as she passed my row.
What did she have to be upset about? I snuck a look at the Devil, back to his usual size, eyes back to their normal brown. He tracked Daphne’s progress, but his expression never changed.
Puzzle pieces clicked into place in my mind.
This was why the Devil was so much more powerful than Death.
I’d known the Order of Shadows worked to ensnare souls on the Devil’s behalf, but I hadn’t understood until I watched him transfer a soul to his Dungeon and felt his power increase in the process just what that meant.
He might be a necessary part of the cycle of life, but things were out of balance, and as the morning progressed it became clear they were only getting worse.
We watched the remaining third years make their first judgments.
The rest of the Tempters stayed quiet as each and every soul required time in the Devil’s Dungeon to balance the scales.
My hands ached from how hard I clenched them every time his shadows transported a soul.
I expected a fight to break out between Judges and Tempters when the last judgment was rendered but the Devil just turned and walked out, his people following.
* * *
Our assessment took place after lunch.
“Each of you will weigh your soul,” Talia said, “and decide what sentence you think you’d deserve if you were being judged in the normal cycle of life.
” No one was surprised. The news had clearly made the rounds last night.
“You’ll be called one at a time. When you’re done, you’ll be dismissed for the rest of the day.
” She called the first name and ushered them through a door to the adjoining room.
My thoughts resumed the dizzying spiral they’d entered when I watched the Devil’s shadows take Evan’s soul to his Dungeon.
Last night he’d reassured me that I would atone for what I’d done just as much by becoming a Judge as being judged.
I hadn’t taken the easier path with my choices, but I now knew it was all a manipulation.
He must want me to become a Judge, and that could only mean he thought my doing so would benefit him somehow. I crossed my arms.
After watching the soul weighing, I knew what was at stake.
The Judges had to find a way to stop sending so many souls to the Devil.
It was a fine line they had to walk. A judgment that was too merciful could require years in the Devil’s Dungeon to compensate.
A judgment that was too harsh could backfire, creating a life where the soul did things to survive that required a harsher sentence and time with the Devil when they next arrived in the In Between.
Either one would only increase the Devil’s power.
I bit my lip, wishing I knew how the Devil thought he could use me. If I wasn’t careful, I could find myself trapped by him and endanger the realms, but I still wanted to help.
I’d fallen for the Devil’s charms the night before because I thought I didn’t deserve to want but couldn’t help myself.
He’d told me wanting was natural, nothing to be ashamed of.
Even if he’d told me that because he wanted me to become a Judge, I still agreed with him.
I wanted to stop him, and I wasn’t ashamed of it. Besides, I was forgetting about Death.
She’d spent millennia with him and had to know what he was capable of. I wondered if this wasn’t why she had a process for weeding out anyone who wasn’t suitable to be a Judge. She would eliminate me if I were a threat, I had no doubt.
The Devil himself said I would have to face my past to learn to judge others.
I believed that. It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d made my choice to come here.
I owed it to my family, to Death, and to the realms to give this my best shot.
So, I would. Clasping my hands in my lap, I straightened in my seat.
Trainees were called alphabetically by first name which meant Bea went for her assessment within the first hour.
My knee was bouncing by the time my name came up, after watching half the group go through.
I followed Talia through the door to find Death and two other Judges waiting for us.
They sat opposite a table with the scales and box of weights that I’d seen in the Amphitheater earlier.
There was also what looked like the top part of the staff sitting upright in a stand, its branches open ready to receive the heart of my soul.
I shivered, wondering how it would be removed.
“Maeve,” Death said, watching me expectantly.
I dropped to my knees and bowed my head.
“Rise.” Her smile was warm and welcoming, and I felt a pleasant calmness wash over me, my muscles loosening. Wanting to get this over with, I didn’t resist. “You saw how we weigh souls this morning; it will work the same way, except I will remove the heart of your soul.”
I nodded, both relieved I didn’t have to do it myself and nauseous at the idea of something so vital outside of my body.
“Don’t worry. It will sting but only momentarily.
You needn’t worry about anyone else doing this to you.
I’m the only one who can. Only I have the power to transform things, the power over life and death.
” The smile she gave me was clearly meant to be comforting, but the reminder that she could crush me into nothing was chilling. “Are you ready?”
Her hand plunged into my chest before I had a chance to nod. “It hurts less if you don’t have time to brace,” she said.
I couldn’t stifle my cry as she grasped my heart and pulled. Except it didn’t budge at first.
Her brow creased the tiniest bit before quickly smoothing out. If my gaze hadn’t been fixed on her face, I might have missed it.
Then she wrenched my heart from my chest.
I doubled over, my hands flying to what I was sure was a gaping cavity. All they encountered was the fabric of my tunic, smooth and whole. When I looked down, my skin had a gray tinge to it. I felt like Evan had looked when his had been removed—diminished, less vital, and a little sluggish.
I straightened to see Death place a glowing ball of light, the heart of my soul, in the wooden stand.
As before, it shifted from solid gold to a rainbow of hues.
Now that I was closer, I could see that the outside shell had faded to reveal the pieces inside.
I marveled at how many of them there were.
“Now,” Death took her seat, “choose four or five pieces that you feel most deserve to be judged and place them on the scale.”
How was I supposed to choose? It suddenly struck me how strange it was that only parts of the soul were weighed instead of the whole.
“Do you have a question, Maeve?” Death’s voice was pleasant, but my skin prickled and I looked up to find her watching me closely. There was something in her expression that made me feel like I was walking into a trap by questioning my goddess. “Out with it,” she said before I could backtrack.
“Only four or five.” I chose my words carefully, as if asking for clarification rather than demanding an explanation.
“Yes. It clarifies things, gets right to the heart of what a soul needs to learn.”
That made sense. Learning was the whole point of reincarnation. I nodded and turned my attention back to choosing soul pieces.
What did I need to learn? I thought back to the morning’s soul weighings. Every trainee had picked the pieces that were the darkest. It was a good place to start.
Near the top was a purple piece so dark it was almost black. When my fingers brushed against it, I was sucked into a memory.
“I hate you,” I screamed, tears running down my face.
“Maeve.” My mother sighed and reached for me, but I pulled back.
“Don’t keep me locked up here. I want to go to school, to see my friends. I’ll do better.”
“We tried that. Your curse makes it too difficult. I’m sorry, sweetheart. This is for the best.”
“Best for you.” I put as much poison into my tone as I could, but it wasn’t satisfying to watch my mother recoil. Unable to face her any longer, I ran to my room and slammed the door.
I gasped, the testing room swimming back into focus.
My muscles tensed. I wanted to run away, to hide from the memory of my eight-year-old self yelling at my mother because my curse had made it impossible for me to do anything outside the walls of our estate, but I resisted.
This is what I’d come to the In Between to do. To atone.
There were plenty of memories like this one, where I lashed out at my parents, even though all they were trying to do was keep me safe. It was a good place to start.
The soul piece came loose with a light touch. I placed it on the scale and turned back to search for another.
The next two were just as intense.
“I can’t, Zach.” I shook my head at my brother. “Please. I have to get out of here.”
“Maeve—” He tried to grab me, but I slipped through his grasp, desperate to escape, forgetting I still held a scarf I’d picked up to try on.
“Where are you going? You have to pay for that.” The merchant at the stand yelled after me as I turned and ran through the market. “Stop. Thief.”
I winced. I’d been thirteen. Tired of being cooped up, I’d snuck out to go to the market.
My brother had followed me, tried to convince me that I couldn’t handle a square full of strangers, but I’d been too desperate for stimulation, too determined to face the effects of my curse to listen.
Too selfish to think about the consequences. We’d almost been arrested.
“Don’t make me do this,” I begged my father.