Chapter 6 #2
“I’m not. This is your choice.” His expression was pained. “You can look each of my men in the face, and come and work for me, or you can stay confined to the house and grounds.”
I felt backed into a corner. I loved the idea of working for my father, but I was afraid of the cost.
“One look at each of them,” he said. “You see their death once and then you can be around them.”
It wasn’t that simple, I had to live with the knowledge of how they would die, but it was how I’d adjusted to the servants in our household.
“I don’t have to look at them. I can avoid them and still work for you.”
“We can’t risk another incident.”
I flinched at the steel in his voice.
“Choose, Maeve.”
I wanted to scream at him, to rage, but I knew it wouldn’t change anything. The threat of discovery was too great. I clenched my jaw. “Fine. Bring them in.”
What an ungrateful daughter I had been. My father had wanted to expand my world, and all I could think about was me and my curse. It was all I’d ever thought about. Not the people who cared for me, kept me safe, and loved me no matter what.
I swallowed and placed the soul pieces on the scale. That was three. I needed at least one more. There was a deep green one at the bottom.
“I never expected you to be this gullible and naive, Maeve. You thought someone like me could be interested in someone like you.” Colt’s eyes raked over my curves like he’d never run his hands over them in appreciation. “Your father’s merchant ring was the only thing I wanted.”
Humiliation burned through me, followed by a rage so intense I could barely speak. I wanted to lash out, but I clenched my hands at my sides. Part of me didn’t believe him. “You weren’t faking it when you were inside me, or every time you came back for more. You were quite eager.”
He shrugged and took a swig from his flask. “I had to find something to keep me going for as long as it took. There’s nothing wrong with your cunt, Maeve, but that’s all you were. A willing amusement to help pass the time.”
“You bastard.” My control snapped, and I pulled my arm back to punch him. I didn’t get far before he grabbed his chest with a gasping groan. My heart seized, and we both hunched forward.
I sucked in a breath as the memory dissolved, my skin tight.
The rage and lack of control I’d felt still echoed in my chest. Colt’s taunts had been cruel, but that loss of control had cost those I loved best dearly.
If I’d handled it better, they’d still be alive.
My eyes stung. It was my biggest regret.
I teased it out and set it on the metal dish which sank nearly to the table. My hands and knees trembled. I hadn’t expected it to sink quite that far. I felt drenched in shame yet resolved. My soul was wretched. I had so much to atone for. I’d face this as many times as I had to. I’d never forget.
“Good,” Death said. “Now, select weights corresponding to the sentence you believe you should have received, and we’ll see how the scales balance.”
I moved to the leather box. The silver weights were lined up neatly in tiered trays. They looked like chess pieces in varying sizes, in a variety of different shapes—a house, a heart, a crown, a feather, etc. I picked up one of the feathers to examine it.
A whisper of comfort and love flowed through me. I looked closer. The feather sat atop a cylindrical base into which words had been etched: the comfort of true love.
My eyes flew back to the box. The section that I’d picked the feather up from was full of weights for similar things.
Always seeing the positive. Seeing the best in people.
Receiving kindness in adversity. They looked shinier than the rest, as if they were untouched, which made my eyes burn.
What would it be like to deserve such soft and lovely things?
Replacing the feather piece, I moved to the part of the box where the pieces were a bit tarnished and worn.
Running my fingers over the rest of the pieces, a heart-shaped one caught my eye.
I picked it up, feeling the echoes of heartache, and read the base: to only love at a distance.
A tremor ran through me. I hadn’t appreciated the love I’d had.
This was one of the things I deserved after what I’d done. This and so much worse.
Something erupted in my chest and tingles of heat rushed down my left arm, like it had this morning. I looked down to see a faint glow beneath my shirt. Light pooled in my left hand where I held the heart-shaped piece. My eyes widened as the silver weight turned black and crumbled to ash.
Oh, Gods. What was happening? I shouldn’t have been able to do that. Death was the only one with this kind of power.
Squeezing my hand shut, I looked at Death and the others. Had they seen?
“Maeve? Are you alright?” Death asked.
“I just need a moment,” I managed to say before I turned my back to them, holding my wrist tight to my body. The glow seeped out between my fingers, but it stopped mid wrist. I didn’t think it was visible. I needed to make it stop, whatever it was.
The light in my hand flared brighter and I felt a destructive force rush through my veins.
My arm tingled as it sought an outlet. The familiarity of it made me stiffen, because it felt like when I’d transferred Colt’s death to my family, minus the pain.
My heart sank as I realized my curse hadn’t gone away.
It had simply taken another destructive form.
One that made me dangerous to everyone around me.