Chapter 12 #2
The memory of my Ritual flashed through my mind. I remembered the way the script had appeared on the page, telling us it was time to begin. No one had questioned where it came from, or the truth of it, because we’d been taught not to.
My hands fisted at my sides. Every time I thought for sure he was lying, he countered with something that made my conviction waver. I was tired of this game. “You didn’t fight back?” The words came out sharp and accusatory.
His eyes fell to the ground; the hard mask he usually wore melted into something softer and more vulnerable.
“I tried, but I was new to the role, and ill-equipped. My predecessor didn’t have a chance to train me much before Death took over, and I didn’t have many supporters.
We were operating with less than half the Tempters we needed for a while.
I spent most of my time just trying to keep up.
” His jaw worked, shame written on his face. “I didn’t offer much resistance.”
My retort died on my tongue at his admission of failure. It was something I could relate to, and I felt a pang of sympathy for how helpless he must have felt, thrust into such a tight spot.
I stiffened, realizing that part of me already believed what he was saying.
Giving in so easily would be foolish. He’d forced me to keep an open mind with our deal.
He must have done it with this moment in mind.
That foresight should make me distrust him.
I couldn’t take anything he said as true without proof.
Yet so much of what he said resonated; my resistance was crumbling.
Everything felt tangled. I rubbed my face with my hands, as if the gesture could clear my mind.
There were too many emotions riding me. I’d come here for answers as to why my powers were like Death’s.
He’d spun me an elaborate tale. Part of it might be true, but to decide what was and what wasn’t, I needed to start with what I knew for certain—he was more powerful than Death, and the realm was out of balance.
“Death said the bridge nearly collapsed today because of the imbalance of the realm,” I said.
“She’s right.”
“She also said something had changed to push the realm to a breaking point.” I licked my lips. “Is it me?”
He held my gaze for a moment, pity written all over his face. “Yes.”
The room threatened to spin. I sucked in a breath.
“With no Death Chord connecting Death and me,” he continued, “the bridge is the only link between our two sides. It’s holding the realm together.”
My stomach bottomed out. Death had said the same thing, aside from the part about the Death Chord.
The two of them hated each other, but they agreed on this.
I was the reason the bridge had broken, and the realms had nearly shredded.
Heat built in my veins as my resistance crumbled.
I believed him. So help me, I believed him.
I was Death’s Successor. And I would be the destruction of everything.
Power surged through me. This time it wasn’t just my hands that lit up. My entire body shone like a beacon.
The Devil stumbled back, shielding his eyes.
Despair threatened to choke me.
“It’s okay, Maeve,” the Devil said. “Focus on the sound of my voice.”
I latched onto it, the familiarity of it strangely comforting.
“Don’t resist it,” he said. “Let it flow through you as hot as it wants.”
“But—”
“You won’t hurt anything. I promise.”
It was a struggle to do as he said. All I wanted was to shove it back to where it came from.
The mere thought seemed to charge the power cascading through me.
It grew hotter and flowed faster. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to let it go.
Standing as still as I could, I focused on my breathing instead of the fire roaring through my veins.
At first, nothing happened. If anything, it only burned hotter. Then all at once it died down, the light under my skin dimming before winking out.
“Well done, Maeve.”
“Is it?” I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight against the burn of tears. I was a threat to everyone and everything. I wondered again what I’d done in a past life to warrant such a punishment. “How can you say that, when my presence nearly destroyed the In Between?”
“Because you aren’t just the problem, you are also the solution.” My eyes flew open at his words. The hope in his eyes made my stomach swoop.
“What do you mean?” My voice was tight.
“Death pushed the In Between out of balance with her actions. She isn’t supposed to be here. You can fix that by taking her place.” He gave me a small smile, almost apologetic.
“I can’t—” My throat closed, cutting off my words. Panic curled tightly around me. It would have been laughable if there wasn’t so much at stake. It couldn’t be me. I couldn’t think of a worse person for the job. Darkness tinged my vision and I swayed on my feet.
“Breathe, Maeve.” He took a step towards me.
I responded instinctively to the command in his voice, just like I had the night we met, inhaling on a shaky gasp.
“I can’t be Death,” I said when I found my voice.
“I couldn’t control my curse in the World of the Living.
I can’t control my… powers,” I nearly choked on the word.
“How am I supposed to do this?” A tear slid down my cheek.
“If the fate of the In Between rests on my shoulders, we are in serious trouble.”
“You’re not alone, Maeve.” The Devil approached me slowly. “Many Successors feel that way, even when things aren’t so fraught.” He reached for me, watching me carefully to gauge my reaction.
“Did you?” I didn’t stop him as his hand cupped my face, and he gently stroked my cheek, wiping away the wetness there. My breath hitched, and I leaned into his touch, so desperate for something to anchor me.
“Yes. I’d come here to escape my ‘gift’ because I hated it. Discovering that I couldn’t outrun it was devastating, but then I realized there was a reason I had it. It gave me a purpose, one I couldn’t have imagined, and there was not only comfort, but satisfaction in that.”
Gods. I wanted that. So badly that I trembled with it. A purpose. For there to be a reason for my family’s death. To not be a danger or a burden. To be wanted. Needed.
“It’s a calling, not a choice.”
I froze at the sound of my mantra on his tongue. “The judge, during my sentencing for killing my family, said the same thing. Did you…” I swallowed. It felt ridiculous to ask, the idea far-fetched, but I had to know. “Was he working for you?”
“Yes. I wanted to give you the chance to come to the In Between as Death’s Successor. You couldn’t do that if you were dead.” He said it without a trace of shame.
My jaw dropped. For him to have given an order like that, he’d had to know not only who I was, but what I was. “How long did you watch me in the World of the Living?”
“I think you were six or seven the first time I viewed your Soul Record, but I’d been searching for potential Successors for decades at that point.”
Heat suffused my cheeks as I thought about what he’d witnessed over the years.
A Soul Record was exactly what it sounded like: a record of the lives a soul led.
Judges and Tempters used them in determining a soul’s sentence.
The Devil hadn’t let on that he knew who Colt was, or what had happened when we viewed my memory, but he did.
“How did you know I’d choose to come if given the option?” I asked.
“Successors are all pulled to the In Between at some point.”
I vividly remembered the strange urge. “Well, I’m sorry you ended up with me.”
“I’m not. I’ve been waiting for you for almost a hundred years,” he said, his gaze soft. “You were well worth the wait.”
My lips parted, and something fluttered in my belly as a comforting warmth began to gather there.
It wasn’t power. It was hope. I’d never felt like anything but a burden, something to be borne rather than welcomed.
Looking at him, I felt wanted. It wasn’t just physical desire, though the longer we stared at each other, the more heat crept into his gaze.
He looked at me like I was the answer to everything that had been missing in his life.
This handsome, powerful man wanted me. Needed me in exactly the way I wanted to be needed.
Like we were made for each other. The force of it, of how much I wanted it, scared me.
It was dangerous, because all of my rational thought melted in the face of it.
I closed my eyes, to attempt to drown out the feelings. To return to the facts at hand. Just because I believed him, didn’t mean I fully trusted him. He was still the Devil, the ultimate tempter and a master at manipulation. I couldn’t afford to fall under his spell.
“You’ve been waiting for me, because I’m Death’s Successor.”
“Yes.”
He wanted me because he wanted something from me. Because I could be useful, not because of who I was.
My disappointment tasted sour, but I was grateful for the reminder. I let it replace my hope and desire, clearing my head. I didn’t need feelings, I needed information. To understand what I was in the middle of. Opening my eyes I found him frowning at me. I took a step back, out of his reach.
His hand fell to his side, the heat in his gaze fading.
I let out a shaky breath and turned around so I wasn’t looking at him. He was far too enticing. It was too easy to get lost in his words and looks. I needed all my faculties to figure out what to do next.
I believed him when he said I was Death’s Successor, but the idea of replacing Death… “What if I can’t do it?” My voice sounded small.
“What makes you think you can’t?”
The fact that I want to. The thought was swift and clear.
Everything I’d wanted in life had been a mistake—to be out in the world when all I saw was death.
Colt. Coming here thinking I could atone for my family’s death.
I couldn’t bring myself to voice those thoughts, so all I said was, “My control is shit. Always has been.”