21. Kayori #3
“You not about to shut down over no nigga, Kay Kay, and I mean that shit. Get yo ass up, shower, and call him so y’all can get a better understanding to some shit. Don’t even give me that look! I don’t know what’s going on between you and Beast, but whatever it is ain’t good.”
Rolling my eyes at her, I laid back down.
Lay knew everything about Beast and warned me along the way to take shit slow.
Doing the opposite of what I always preached, especially to her when her and Stone first start talking, I fell face first for Beast. I kept lying to myself thinking we both were moving at a snail pace when that was a lie.
We were moving way too fast and while I thought I knew him, it seemed like I constantly started discovering more and more things about who he was in the real nature of his mental disabilities.
“I’m going to go back to Cali for a while. See if Brian will let me take a week or two off.”
I looked at nothing in particular. Licking my dry lips, I had an urge to find my phone and see if Beast got Mattea off to school properly.
I wondered if he had fed her some bullshit like ice cream to stop her little demanding ass from complaining.
Mattea was a daddy’s girl and got whatever it was she asked for.
Most of the time it wasn’t good for her.
Here I was, worrying about this man when he did some foul shit that he should have been apologizing for.
I also understood that nothing was normal about Beast, at the same time, I felt like he still had to respect me and my personal endeavors like getting my own place.
“You are not about to take advantage of Brian like that, you know damn well he will tell yo ass yes and take off with no problem. That’s not how the real-world works, though, Kayori.
You just can’t hop up and leave when shit becomes too much for you.
You don’t need to be out there in Cali by yourself, especially in that house.
You’re going to suck it up, take off today, and go to work tomorrow.
You need to follow through with the Airbnb thing with that house and-”
She stopped talking as I desperately got out the bed and ran into the bathroom to throw up.
Getting on my knees lifting the toilet seat up, I hugged the toilet for what felt like eternity and threw up until it was nothing but nasty bile from the lining of my stomach.
Sitting up, I saw nothing but stars, feeling dizzy I wanted to pass out.
Remaining on the floor for a little while to power up some, I looked up and saw Meshalay standing there with a wide grin on her face.
“Your ass is pregnant, Kayori! Oh, my fucking gosh, bitch!” Her eyes got misty as she got real dramatic fanning her face and wiping her tears.
“My best fucking friend is pregnant!”
“SHHHHHHH! The last fucking thing I need is for Stone to hear you and get Beast’s ass on one again! The nigga already threatened to kill me if I even thought once about killing his seed.”
After the pregnancy test that Beast got me came back negative, I was positive that I wasn’t pregnant.
Then a couple of days later, I start feeling weird again like something was wrong with me.
My nipples were sore, I was using the bathroom more than usual and I felt sick all the time.
I tried not to think about possibly carrying a child, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.
I kept reassuring myself that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant since the expensive ass test Beast had bought was negative.
“The door is closed, plus I heard Stone saying after Beast got done handling business this morning, he was coming to visit with Stone. I can take you to the doctor and we can have a girl’s day out afterwards,” she said excitedly, helping me stand to my feet it felt like my stomach dropped again.
I really did not want to be pregnant; I was scared of being a parent.
I also felt like it was hell of irresponsible on me and Beast’s behalf.
We hadn’t even been together that long, and a baby was something serious.
Considering it all was overwhelming. Grabbing up the tooth paste and toothbrush, I turned on the water while examining my face.
It was something I did all the time. Sometimes I looked at myself and thought I was pretty, other times I saw the scars and thought how ugly they appeared to be.
If Meshalay wasn’t standing here I would have used my hand to cover the right side of my face, so I could look at my flawless side with no scars.
I was working hard on accepting all of me, it just wasn’t going to happen overnight.
I washed my face and made my way back to my bed while Lay went to the kitchen to get me some water and saltine crackers.
I didn’t plan on leaving out my room until it was time for me to get dressed and ready to go to the doctor.
I silently said a prayer to God, he made no mistakes.
My mom used to tell me that all the time, so I lived by it.
If a baby is what he sent me, then I would just have to adjust my life and prepare to be a mommy.