43. Why?
Why?
Cerise
Over the last couple of days, I had called Liam several times, desperate to tell him everything that had happened. To apologize and beg for his forgiveness. But there was never an answer.
Discouraged, I threw myself into renovations, spending most of my free time at the clinic painting, fixing pieces of old trim and ordering supplies I would need.
Perhaps he was busy, as I knew his semester was ending around the same time as mine, and knowing him, he was drowning in grading final exams because he probably waited until the last minute.
I laughed to myself as I pictured him in his office late at night, three cups of coffee deep with that unruly hair of his. With those glasses he was always adjusting, framing those emerald eyes that made my heart skip a beat every time he looked at me.
With a sigh, I continued swiping my paint brush on the wall in a small office just off the back room.
I’d chosen a dark, dusty rose color, a hue that calmed me and wrapped in a warm hug.
A stained glass window allowed in the perfect amount of light.
With the addition of velvet curtains, a small desk and a wall of bookshelves, I couldn’t wait for this space to come together.
It was the perfect spot to do paperwork and store my textbooks about animal healing. My own little escape. There was even room for a reading chair in the corner, which I planned to take full advantage of.
I could hardly wait.
Yesterday had been the last day of the semester and I’d said my teary goodbyes to my students, urging them to swing by and visit the clinic.
Most were enthusiastic and several had even asked if I would be hiring.
I had a couple of them in mind for the receptionist position and having students work the front desk would be an excellent opportunity for them to have more exposure to animals in a different way.
I hoped I’d eventually be able to afford to have an assistant to help me in the back with exams and other tasks.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother since our fight and I wasn’t bothered by it. In fact, I was relieved. Free. Like a weight I had been unknowingly carrying all these years was lifted. It was as if I could breathe for the first time.
I had no plans to contact her and honestly, I hoped she didn’t reach out to me.
I’d learned over the years she was likely incapable of change.
People like that usually weren’t. In order to change, you had to actually see something wrong with your behavior and she didn’t.
She never admitted fault, never apologized or owned up to her mistakes.
She would always flip it so she looked like the victim.
How could I expect she’d somehow realize she was a narcissist in her sixties? Unlikely.
So I washed my hands of her and let it go.
The bell over the front door dinged, startling me from my task.
Who in the world could that be? I am positive I locked the door.
Setting the paintbrush down, I wiped my hands on a towel and headed through the back room to the waiting area. As I pushed open the door, I said, “I’m so sorry, we’re not open yet. Please come back in—”
I froze.
Liam stood there, a small smile on his face and hands in his pockets as his green eyes landed on me. A beam of sunlight peered through the window, casting a glow around him, as if the world was reminding me how disarmingly handsome he was.
“Hey, sunshine.” His voice was rough, full of emotion and things left unspoken.
My breath hitched. “Hi,” I squeaked.
My feet wouldn’t move. Neither of us spoke, a long silence stretching between us. Liam’s eyes filled with yearning, adoration…pain.
I fidgeted with the collar of my shirt, finally breaking the silence. “How did you get in? That door was locked. The only ones who have a key are me and—”
“The owner.” His smile grew as he pulled something from his pocket, holding it in the air. A key.
“What?” I shook my head. “I don’t understand…are you saying…”
“That I own the building? Yes.”
My heart would not stop racing as I took a step forward. “Explain.”
“I bought it.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew this was what you wanted and that you couldn’t afford the original asking price. Honestly, I didn’t even want to charge you rent, but we decided that was the best route, otherwise you never would have allowed me to gift it to you.”
“We?”
“Emberly and I.”
My eyebrows shot up. “She knew?”
“Yes. Her wife too. I’d been planning this for a while, but needed their help to pull it off.”
I shook my head. “Liam. I can’t accept this.
You shouldn’t have wasted your money. This was an expensive building.
” I began to pace, feeling his eyes on me.
“And now I feel like I owe you something. I’ll pay you back.
It might take a while but I promise as soon as I start making money, every cent will go to you. ”
I turned to look at him. He tilted his head in amusement. “Are you finished?”
“I suppose so…” I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever done something like this for me and I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Why?”
“Why what?”
I gestured around the space. “Why did you do it…for me?”
Liam moved from his spot near the front door, slowly approaching. “Do you really have to ask?”
I nodded, swallowing. He stopped in front of me, gently gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger. His lips brushed mine and I let out a sigh.
“Why have I done anything for you?” he asked softly.
“Why did I jump in after you when you fell into the flood waters? Why did I punch that poacher in the face? Why did I whisk you away at the gala and take you all over town just to see you smile? Why did I purchase this building and sneakily ensure you would rent it out?” He pressed his forehead to mine, his thumb brushing my bottom lip as he cupped my face.
“Because I love you, Cerise. I’ve loved you since I saw the joy on your face when we caught those insects and played that prank in the jungle. ”
My vision blurred with tears.
“And I will never stop proving it to you. I will never stop telling you how much you mean to me. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep. Even dreams aren’t an escape from the depth of my feelings, because you find me in those too.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I first started calling you sunshine because I wanted to irritate you.” I let out a laugh. “But that quickly changed. You are the light in my dark and the joy in my sorrows. My sunshine. I am hopelessly, utterly, pathetically in love with you, Cerise Thornheart.”
My arms moved to his neck, fingers caressing his hair. “Liam,” I said with a sob.
His lips met mine in a searching kiss. I pulled him closer, kissing him back, meeting his tongue with mine as I poured everything I felt into it.
I pulled away, framing his face with my hands.
“I missed you. So much.” My voice cracked and Liam wiped away a stray tear. “I love you too,” I whispered. “I love you so much it scares me. And I’m sorry I ran, but I needed to—”
“I know,” he interrupted, kissing my nose.
“I’m sorry for the way I behaved that day. When I yelled at you and kicked you out. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault…I just—”
“Shh…” Liam pulled me into a hug, tucking my head into the crook of his neck as his fingers soothingly stroked my hair. “I know, beautiful. I’m sorry too. You are not like your mother. Not in the slightest.”
His lips found my forehead and he pressed a tender kiss there. I pulled back, looking at him. “Move in with me.”
His eyebrow rose with surprise. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything. I don’t want to do this long distance thing anymore. I want to be able to wake up next to you every day. And come home to you every evening.”
He gave me a wide grin. “Well, that’s good to hear because I got a job at your university and I was hoping I wouldn’t have to find a place to live.”
“You didn’t!”
“I did, sunshine. Your old position actually.”
I threw myself back into him. His arms tightened around me, both of us laughing. “This is perfect. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Now, what are we going to do about your mother…” he murmured.
I met his gaze. “I cut her off.”
This time he couldn’t hold back his shock. “You what now?”
“I told her I didn’t want to see her anymore unless she could accept me for who I was and then I kicked her out of the clinic.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
His fingers traced my jaw. “Are you all right? That must have been hard.”
“I am. And it was hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it was a long time coming and I don’t regret it at all. I feel…lighter. Happier. And now with the clinic…and you…”
Liam pulled my face into a bruising kiss, backing me against the wall. His lips moved to my jaw, my neck and back up again.
Pressing his forehead to mine, his hands framed my face. “You are incredible. I love you so much, Cerise. My sunshine. My heart. My beloved.”
I regarded the man who had stumbled into my world so many months ago. With his humor, his messy hair and silly nicknames. His kindness and endless support. His failed punches and terrible ax throwing. And I loved all of him. Every last piece.
“I love you too.”