Chapter 11
Jamison
“Dancing was so fun today,” Sadie said, her voice bright and excited. For the breath of a moment, she beamed up at me. I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from brushing a lock of hair from her cheek.
“Gene, you danced?” Derrik narrowed his eyes at me as if he was trying to fit a new puzzle piece into place.
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Really well, actually,” she insisted, and I had to school my face to keep the pride building inside of me from showing. “He’s like a professional—”
“Hardly,” I interrupted.
Sighing, Derrik rolled his eyes. “He’s good at everything. It’s bullshit. Imagine growing up constantly compared to”—he gestured in my direction—“that.”
I froze under Sadie’s stare, her eyes roaming my arms and down my jean covered legs, my weight evenly balanced with my feet shoulder width apart.
In the side-by-side comparison between me and my much more charming cousin, how did I stand up?
Suddenly, nothing mattered more than what she thought of me.
Placing his drink on the table, Mike shook his head. “No one made as big a deal out of this as you two did.”
“No, I get that though.” June pointed a finger between her and Sadie. “There was built in comparison with us too, and we’re really so different.”
Sadie leaned toward her sister. “You think so?”
“I do, but maybe it was just that I wanted to be just like you, because you were my cooler older sister.”
“So much cooler.”
“So much older.”
They giggled scrunching their nose up in the same way.
Mike rubbed a hand across June’s shoulders, and I recognized the tender feeling that must have settled into his chest the same way it had in mine.
But unlike him, I couldn’t express it. Instead, I sent a quiet gratitude that Sadie had a sister she loved and who loved her.
“At least between me and Gene, I’m the cool one,” Derrik said. He sat back in his chair swinging an arm over the backrest, with an exaggerated suave energy. Giving the impression that he was joking, but he and I both knew it was true.
I lifted my drink to my lips. “Can’t fight that.”
“You’re cool,” Sadie insisted, and a fire lit behind her big blue eyes.
Aw, don’t do this to me. I’m fighting for my life to keep my hands off you.
“Like, I bet you know something completely random about this place right now.” She looked up at me expectantly. I was on the spot, but she wasn’t wrong.
“I probably do.”
She lifted her eyebrows.
I inhaled, then began, “So, this bar is called The Poison Place”—I pointed out the window where the rain had stopped falling on the garden, but the leaves still glistened in the exterior lights of the building—”and that’s The Poison Garden and all those plants are poisonous to something, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s common knowledge about the resort,” Derrik argued.
“But have you looked into how they get away with it legally?” Feeling more in my element, I spoke comfortably gesturing with the drink in my hand as I talked.
“So, previous to the 1980s they had local poisonous plants, but that became a concern with the public. In a PR push, they completely replanted choosing plants that could only be poisonous to things not found in Southern California. Pretty much every plant out there is non-indigenous, and every year local activist petition for the garden to be removed and be replaced with native plants. So, the legal fees that that garden costs the resort well surpasses any amount of tending costs.”
After a beat of silence, Sadie turned to Derrik. “See, he is cool.”
Kill me. I want you in my bed. Right. Now.
“Aw, shit.” He grimaced. “You have a thing for nerds, huh?”
“She totally does!” June leaned forward. “She has this one guy, his ‘You up’ text is some random fact—”
“Shut up!” Sadie stared at her sister with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open.
“This one guy,” so it hadn’t been just me ever. Apparently, I wasn’t even the only one with the technique to initiate conversations. I took a rather large drink of my beverage letting it burn down my throat.
June covered her mouth with both hands, speaking a muffled, “Sorry.”
“Yeah, we are not drunk enough to be laying out my dirt. Also, you make it sound like I have a roster. I don’t”—she turned to look directly up at me—”not that there’s anything wrong with having one.”
“Oh, she pegged ya,” Mike said, and I almost did a spit take all over the table.
Forcing myself to swallow, I winced. “Pegged me, what?”
Blush was crawling up Sadie’s chest.
“For having a roster. When have you ever not done casual?”
My grip on my cup tightened as I glared at my brother. “We are also not drunk enough for this.”
“Seriously, don’t put me in your cross hairs.” Derrik glanced between June and Mike. “Congrats on your true love and all that, but be cool with us singles, okay?”
They had the decency to look embarrassed. I wanted the subject to change, but also I couldn’t think of much else other than who “this one guy” was. It was probably lucky for me that I kept my mouth shut, anyway.
***
After hours of relaying stories about growing up with Mike and Derrik, and listening—embarrassingly intently—to stories about June and Sadie, I was calling it a night.
I hadn’t realized how exhausting it could be to pretend that the sun didn’t rise and set around one person.
Rubbing a hand at the back of my neck, I weaved through the different groups making my way to the exit.
Pausing as a group of twenty-somethings blocked my route as they huddled around a billiard table, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Behind me, Sadie pinched a lock of her hair between two fingers, absentmindedly twirling it. “Hey, I know you’re heading out, but June was wondering if we could grab the flowers from the florist. They can be delivered, but it’ll save some money if we get ’em, and since you have the rental . . . ”
It was obviously a request that could have been texted, but I wanted to live in the delusion that she’d hurried after me because she was going to miss me when I left the same way I would miss her.
“Sure, I can get them.” I resisted the urge to speak down to my shoes. Instead, I insisted to myself that I was giving Sadie a normal amount of eye contact that was nowhere near desperate.
She swallowed taking a small step nearer to me. “I can go with you.”
The sweet smell of her shampoo filled my nose. I rubbed my hand across my lips, resisting burying my nose in the strands.
“Okay,” was all I could manage to say.
“And I want to talk to you about”—she took another step as if she was testing my resistance—“your name.”
My eyebrow twitched, and my lip quirked up on one side. “My name?”
Everything inside of me went hot, even as I reminded myself that she’d officially ended the physical aspect of our relationship just a few hours ago. But maybe a little friendly flirting wouldn’t hurt.
“I feel a little left out being the only one that calls you Jamison.”
“No, you should feel special.”
Her tongue swiped over her bottom lip, fighting back a smile. “What about a balance? Like, Gene-ison.”
“Jesus, no.” A lopsided grin pulled at my mouth.
Flicking her gaze up, she fixed me with a victorious light in her eyes, as if making me smile was some kind of trophy. My palms went a little clammy, and my stomach flipped. I curled and uncurled my toes, needing to fidget under the force of her attention.
“Okay, Eugene-ison.”
“Absolutely fucking not,” I said, but it would’ve been more convincing if she didn’t have me grinning down at her like a fool.
“I feel like you’re not even giving it a chance.”
“I’m not, and I won’t.”
“So rigid. Ya gotta loosen up.”
“Yeah, I’m so good at that.”
She tilted her head, exposing the curve of her neck and reminding me of how she liked to be kissed right there. I needed to get a hold of myself, this was nothing just a little playing around between friends. I might still be insanely attracted to her, but that was my problem to deal with.
“I’ve seen you”—she started but cut off with a gasp as a man bumped into her back.
Her hand pressed against my stomach as she fell into me, but the guy must have stood on her dress because it stayed in place slipping down her ribs.
Her breasts were full, round, and naked in the dark lighting.
She had, hands down, the best tits I’d ever seen—the horrified, stricken widening of her eyes and her jaw falling open definitely took away from the experience.
I moved on instinct, almost instantly placing my hand on her back between her shoulder blades.
Her bare skin was soft under my palm. Pressing and taking a step at the same time, I held her against me—ignoring how good the pressure of her stomach on my erection felt.
I would be embarrassed at how quickly I’d gotten hard, but my cock had twitched every time I thought of her since our dance lesson.
Instead, I used my body to protect her privacy.
She tucked her face into my chest as I glared over her head at the stranger who’d run into her.
He tossed a slurred sorry over his shoulder but froze when he registered my furrowed brow that must have conveyed how I would seriously injure him if I wasn’t currently using my body as a modesty shield.
It was his fault that Sadie clung to me for dear life, as if she were afraid I’d shift and leave her exposed when there was no way that would ever happen.
The guy blinked turning to face me. He held his hands up in a calming gesture, a beer pinched between two fingers. “Hey man, my bad. I’m sorry.”
My fingers twitched on her back. “You ran into her. Why the fuck are you apologizing to me?”
“Right . . . uh . . . sorry.”
“Just go away,” she said into my shirt.
There was no way he could have heard her, but when he didn’t immediately turn on his heel and run away my vision actually turned red. “Get. Away.”
He jerked his head in a nod before heading to a table in the corner.
“Oh, God,” she groaned.
“It’s gonna be okay.” I searched for a hallway or cubby nearby, somewhere that could give her some privacy.
“I just flashed the whole bar.”
“No, baby, only me.”
Her stomach bounced with a humorless chuckle, which was a little distracting, but I’d found a route to the hallway leading to the bathrooms. “Well, if it’s only you.”
With my free hand, I took a fistful of her skirt, my fingers brushing the back of her upper thigh. “I’m gonna walk you backward, so you can . . . fix this. Just hang on.”
She nodded with her face pressed to me.
Hooking my arm across her back, I half-guided her, half-carried her to the darkened hallway.
Luckily, there wasn’t anyone waiting in line for the bathrooms and it was just us.
Even the sounds of people were deafened slightly.
I loosened my hold of her angling my body perpendicular with the wall creating a corner for her to shift her dress back into place.
Lifting my gaze to the ceiling, I promised, “I won’t look.”
“It’s not like you haven’t seen me before, like literally seconds ago.”
“Yeah, well . . . ” There was no way I could tell her how hard I’d been fighting my need for her. That every second near her was torture and perfection.
“I cannot believe that just happened,” she said. “Wow, you really aren’t looking, I’m done.”
She hadn’t moved from the protective barrier of my body. Instead, she shifted, placing her temple against my chest, and I gave in just a little bit. Just for a moment. I wrapped my arms around her, letting my hands clasp near her hip and rested my cheek to the top of her head.
“I’m so embarrassed,” she whispered.
“Don’t be. No one saw.”
“You did.”
“I’m sure you could feel that wasn’t much of a hardship.”
“Oh, it was hard alright.”
My chest bounced once with a laugh. “I have to go.”
She nuzzled her cheek against me. “Why?”
My heart was a puddle on the floor. The idea of letting her go was physically painful. But still, I joked, “I have a raging boner.”
“Stop it.” Giggling, she pulled away, covering her face in her hands and peeking up at me through her fingers.
“Go”—I nudged her shoulder with mine—”have fun. I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin. To herself, she said, “There’s no reason to be embarrassed.”
“None,” I agreed.
“Even if someone else saw my tits, who hasn’t seen tits before?”
“Hold on.”
“What?”
“Your tits”—I ran a hand through my hair, and looked down at my shoes, unsure of how honest to be—”are a singular experience.”
“You don’t have to flatter me, I’m not as humiliated as I was a few minutes ago.”
“Trust me, it’s not flattery. You’re so fucking beautiful, I almost can’t handle it.”
With that admission, I turned on my heels and left before she could say anything else.