27. Chapter 27- Lily #2
“And I think we all know that none of your current visitors have any chance of wooing you. Or am I wrong?” Beatrice said.
Both ladies looked at Lily expectantly.
“You’re not wrong,” she finally grumbled. “What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing, of course,” Rachel said. “This isn’t your task; you’d only get in the way.”
“Right,” Beatrice added. “You’re not a rat terrier. You’re a lovely, friendly retriever.”
Lily wasn’t quite sure whether she should be offended. “What shall I do?”
“Just be your lovely retriever self.” Beatrice grinned. “Rachel and I will take care of everything.”
“Do you mean you’ve planned this?” she said, her eyebrows raised.
“You needn’t sound so shocked. Ladies plan ways to entice gentlemen. Why would repelling them be any different?” Beatrice said.
“You aren’t going to be too mean to them, are you?” she asked earnestly.
“Don’t worry,” Rachel said, “you won’t be the one doing the repulsing. If you want them back later, all you have to do is single them out with a smile. We won’t ruin your chances with them for next Season, if that’s your concern.”
Next Season. The thought of it nearly took Lily’s breath away. Of course it would be assumed that Lily would have a second Season—she hadn’t secured a husband in her first. Lily was cut off from replying by the butler’s sudden appearance.
“Wonderful.” Rachel fluffed her skirts. “Here comes the first Rattus now.”
Lord Gibbs was Lily’s first visitor. He was pale and portly, and rumored to be in search of a wealthy bride.
Lily heard that he split his time between the five wealthiest parlors in London.
The only thing that could be said in his favor was that he wasn’t trying to court sisters within the same family.
Whatever plan Rachel had, Lily would feel little sympathy for Lord Gibbs.
After the initial furor of introductions and the offering of refreshments, Lily sipped her tea and did her best not to appear as if she were waiting for a play to start.
“Are you interested in the sciences, Lord Gibbs?” Beatrice asked politely.
“Indeed. I enjoy attending scientific lectures whenever I have the opportunity.”
“How fascinating,” Lily said politely.
Rachel leaned forward and asked, “Did you know, Lord Gibbs, that the female mantis often beheads its partner?”
Though Lily had been warned, she still somehow wasn’t expecting it; she nearly choked on her tea. Beatrice frowned at her. Lily gave her wide eyes of apology.
“I didn’t know that, no.” He frowned.
Rachel appeared beatifically unaware of his disapproval. “And they are not the only ones who have a violent ritual. Why, there have been several reports of octopi where the male is fatally injured in the process.”
Lord Gibbs only managed a shocked sort of blink.
Rachel continued, “And there is a male spider in New South Wales that volunteers for his execution. You see, while the female?—”
“I hardly think this is an appropriate topic,” he spluttered.
“My apologies.” Rachel blinked, all innocence. “I thought you said you were interested in the sciences.”
“Perhaps he’d rather discuss new surgical techniques,” Beatrice said with a vacant smile.
Lily recognized the expression—it was the smile Beatrice gave when she was desperately trying not to laugh.
“Oh, that is an interesting topic,” Rachel said before Lord Gibbs could utter a word. “They’ve recently made great strides in the treatment of cataracts. It’s worth discussing, though not for the faint of heart. You see, they start by pulling back the eyelid?—”
Lord Gibbs’s teacup rattled in his hurry to set it down. His eyes were wide, his color high. He stood, and Rachel gave a serene smile of victory and sipped her tea.
“I have never heard such disgusting talk from such a beautiful young lady,” he blustered.
“Apologies, my lord,” Rachel said.
“You had better hope that there’s a gentleman out there who can guide you and rectify your moral deficiencies.”
“If only I’d meet a gentleman equal to the task,” she bemoaned. “Then my life would truly begin.”
Lily nearly snorted into her teacup. One would be hard-pressed to find someone with more life in them than Rachel Warrington.
Lord Gibbs turned to Lily. “If this is the company you keep, I fear I’ll have to rethink our attachment.”
Uncharacteristic anger flared within Lily’s chest. She set her cup down on the saucer with a sharp clink. “What attachment? For I daresay you’re far more interested in my dowry than you are me. Perhaps you’ll have better luck with one of the other ladies on your rotation.”
Beatrice and Rachel turned to stare at Lily as the spluttering Lord Gibbs turned and stomped out the door.
“I thought you didn’t wish to be mean,” Beatrice finally said, a smile plucking at the corners of her mouth.
“That wasn’t mean,” Rachel said. “That was truthful.”
“Just so. Biscuit?” Beatrice offered, holding the plate aloft.
Lily took one with shaking fingers. Though she didn’t regret it, she wasn’t used to snapping at anybody. She found she disliked the experience. “Thank goodness he was disgusted instead of intrigued by the surgical methods. I don’t think I could bear hearing anything more about cataracts.”
“I discovered his distaste for such topics early in the Season when he called upon me.” Rachel frowned. “I confess I’m a bit offended—I thought he would have remembered. I certainly endeavored to make our first conversation unforgettable.”
“It’s probably difficult to keep ladies straight when you’re visiting dozens of them.”
“I suppose so.”
Over the next couple of hours, Rachel and Beatrice easily batted away Lily’s unwanted suitors. Thankfully, Rachel had other methods than her macabre scientific descriptions. Some of her techniques were very clever; Lily felt more like she was at the theater than sitting in her own parlor.
Yet as soon as one gentleman left, another arrived. At one point, there were three of them, and Lily began to think that Rachel would give up. Instead, the lady launched into an inane story about shopping for a pair of gloves.
“…and then the shopkeeper said that my choice was peculiar!” Rachel finished, dissolving into endless, twittering giggles.
Her high-pitched giggling was so unexpected that Lily jerked on the sofa, nearly sloshing tea over the rim of her cup. Beatrice instantly began laughing along with Rachel, and Lily nearly started again at the sound of it.