Chapter 6
SIX
It’s Thursday night and I’m sitting at a table across from Wes at some fancy restaurant. Abbey sits beside him, playing with the straw in her drink and studying her food like at any moment it’s going to come alive and attack her.
“This is nice,” Wes says, looking around the table.
I glance around as well. Nicolas sits next to some smoking hot blond girl, whose name I never bothered to learn.
They’ve been dating for a few months, but every time I see her, I can’t help but be shocked he kept her around.
She screams groupie. They met at some club and the sex must have been good, because he has been hooked ever since.
Can’t blame him. She is a beauty. Always wearing these tight-fitting dresses that hugs all the right spots. Her make up is done up like a model and her hair teased to all hell.
I know very little about her personality as I tend to zone out whenever her high pitch voice starts talking. Don’t care about anything she has to say. I guess as long as she is making my friend happy, my annoyance with her is a moot point.
Aaron nurses a drink while his fiancée, Stacy, pretends to sip from the same drink she had from before they joined us at the table. She raises it to her lips but never takes a sip. The thing is almost overflowing as the ice melts.
The idea she might be pregnant fills my soul with dread. I don’t want to have to find another rhythm guitarist. Aaron balances me out well. We have good energy on the stage. Replacing him would suck. I don’t want to have to get used to someone new.
Dennis keeps checking his phone. Texting back urgently whenever it buzzes. I’m sure he’s chatting up his latest true love. The guy is worse than me when it comes to commitment. He can never stick with someone longer than a week.
He is always claiming to find the one, just to find something he doesn’t like about her. Or letting some petty problem tear them apart. I’ve tried to tell him it’s better to be single than deal with all that, but he is determined to find the love of his life.
Poor guy still believes in that crap.
“Yeah.” Nicolas nods. “It really is.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Aaron says, glancing at Stacy. “Maybe we should extend the break, you know? Take a whole year off. We could take our time with recording. Really make this next album our best yet.”
Stacy nods and straightens up. Her swollen tits press forward, rounder than ever before. I paid enough attention in biology class to know what that is a sign of. Fuck my life.
“Jesus fuck,” I mutter. The eyes around the table all snap to me. “When is the baby due?”
“What?” Dennis glances up from his phone, looking at Aaron.
“Stacy is obviously pregnant.”
“You are such an asshole,” Aaron snaps.
“How did you know?” Stacy’s expression is shocked, but she doesn’t deny it.
“You haven’t touched your drink. Your face is glowing, and your tits are about two size bigger.”
“Asshole,” Aaron snaps again. “Stop looking at my fiancée’s tits.”
“I’m not fucking blind.” I shrug.
“You’re pregnant?” Abbey asks Stacy.
“Yes,” Stacy says, smiling. “Going to have to push the wedding back.”
“Congratulations,” Nicolas’s girlfriend says. She seems genuine about her reaction, but her high pitch voice makes me want to stab myself in the ears.
“Wow. Aaron is going to be a father.” Dennis laughs. “That’s some crazy shit.”
“We can’t take a whole fucking year off,” I say. “Six months is bad enough, but a whole year? We run the risk of losing fans and falling out of favor.”
I can feel Wes’s glare without even looking at him. He is not happy that I outed the news. Probably less happy about my reaction. Mentioning that six months was bad enough will probably cause Abbey to spiral with guilt as well.
I just turned a pleasant night into a bad one.
“I’m sure that won’t happen,” Abbey says softly. I glance at her and her eyes are staring up at Wes. “You guys are too great to lose any favor.”
“What happens when the baby is born? Are you going to bring it along? The road is no place for a child. Or do you plan on leaving Stacy alone for weeks at a time to raise it alone?”
“Dude,” Nicolas snaps. “Can you just take a second and be happy for them?”
“I’m so fucking happy they are happy. Fucking bouncing off the walls with glee because they are a happy fucking couple with a baby on the way, but what about me?
” I down the last bit of my drink. “You all barely talk to me these days. Ignore my texts. Don’t take my calls.
I haven’t seen any of you for weeks. We take a whole year off and I won’t even know you guys when we go back on tour. ”
“Shit, dude,” Aaron says. “It’s nothing personal. We just have our own lives.”
I watch as the faces around me drop as the words leave his mouth.
“Yeah. I got that much.” I nod, pushing myself from the table. “Great to know I’m not a part of them.” I push myself to my feet.
I make my way outside, desperate to be as far away from my so-called band mates as possible. Here I thought we were like family, but they just confirmed that they don’t feel the same.
“Ben,” Wes calls after me. “Shit. Wait up.”
If he hadn’t saved my life a few dozen times, I’d continue on my way. But I can’t ignore him even if I wanted to, so I freeze.
“Ben,” he repeats my name, catching up to me. “He didn’t mean it like that. You know that. You just reacted poorly to his good news, and it made him mad.”
“Yeah. Okay.” I glance over at Wes. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”
“I get it. We’ve all been a little wrapped up in our own worlds. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I pull out my pack of cigarettes. Wes doesn’t owe me an apology. He has been the only person outside of my parents who ever truly cared about me. The only one of them that gets a pass. “It’s life. It happens. I’m happy you are all happy.” I nod, lighting my cigarette.
“Do you ever think about getting a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend. You know I don’t judge.” His face tugs up in a smile.
Wes always has a way at disarming me. I hate it. The guy makes it impossible for me to stay angry.
“If I didn’t go gay for Dennis’ luscious locks, I’m not going gay for anyone.” I laugh.
“They were pretty sexy.” He chuckles. “Come back to the restaurant. We will figure the band stuff out later, but for now, let’s celebrate our wins.”
“No thanks,” I say. “I’ll apologize later, but right now I kind of just want to be alone.”
“Ben.” He studies me over, looking for any signs he needs to be concerned about my well-being. I’m used to that look. I’ve seen it far too many times. “You know if you ever really needed me, I’d be there in a heartbeat.”
“I know.” I nod. “And same to you. And them.”
“It was good seeing you.” He sighs.
“Yeah.” I nod back toward the restaurant. “You better get back to your girl before she loses a fight with her dinner.”
“Yeah.” He nods, glancing toward the building. I can almost hear his thoughts. For him this is a rock and a hard place. Does he go back and save Abbey or stay and rescue me? The choice is far too easy for him. I watch as it kills him to make it. “See you soon, okay?”
“Yeah. See you soon.”
I stand on the sidewalk, smoking my cigarette and watching Wes head back to the restaurant. He keeps his head down as he walks, probably stressing about what dumb decision I’m going to make because of this.
I’ve already made plenty of dumb decisions this week. Ones he would frown upon and lose sleep over, like letting Prue suck my dick in a college bathroom and making a scene in her classroom.
I’ve spent the last two days trying not to think about it to be honest. Each hour she didn’t contact me felt like a blessing disguised as utter agony. I tried to distract myself. Went out, flirted with girls, but never took one home.
Hard to want to fuck someone else when the girl who gave you the best blow job of your life could text you at any moment. I wanted to be free when she finally reached out. Didn’t want to miss the chance of knowing how good her other talents could be.
When she texted me just before dinner I chose not to respond, though. It killed me. Sitting at that table, with people I thought were my best friends, itching to message her back, but not wanting to pass up on the chance to have a good time with them.
Prue might be the only pussy I want to fuck right now, but no pussy is worth missing out on the rare occasion my friends actually want to see me.
Now I wish I blew them off to see her. Would’ve saved me a lot of misery.
Deep down I already knew how they felt, but hearing it, seeing it, really sucked. The reality that I’m losing them is starting to sink in.
Aaron is going to have a baby. Wes is going to stay with Abbey until one or both of them dies.
Who knows when Nicolas will lock down whatever his girl’s name is.
Dennis will eventually find that dream girl he keeps looking for.
All of them will go make themselves a new life, one where they don’t need me.
I ponder these thoughts in a state of pity as I walk the streets of LA. Set on finding me some hole in the wall bar where I can drink myself stupid.
Tonight, I don’t want anyone’s company. I want to drink until I can’t see straight as I accept that my whole world is crumbling. My dreams are becoming ruins and the family I thought I had has outgrown me, just like Prue said.
I’m falling to the waste side, just as she predicted the night we met.
“You aren’t driving, are you?” the bartender asks, setting another double of whiskey in front of me.
“No. If you keep pouring until closing, I promise to leave you the biggest tip of your life.”
He nods before walking to the other side of the bar.
I’m sitting at some small dive bar, with classic rock songs playing way too loud. I’ve had about three double of whiskeys as I sit on a stool toward the end of the bar. There is a nice exit nearby, where I can step out to smoke a cigarette from time to time.