Chapter 35 Bumpy Gonna Lose Her Mind
BUMPY GONNA LOSE HER MIND
SHARI
I wake up to a paw scratching the mattress next to my face, followed by a little whine.
“Ok, Pickles. I'm up, I'm up. I'll take you for weewees.” As I start to rise, the warm arm banded around my waist tightens and pulls me back down into a hard body.
“Don't get up,” Brad's gravelly voice rumbles through my skin.
“I’ve got him. You have a lie in. I'm sure Little Miss will be harassing us soon enough.” As he stands and pulls on a pair of sweatpants over his Elmo print boxers, the events of last night come flooding back in.
Oh god. Jake. But instead of being upset, the thought of him makes me absolutely furious.
I throw the covers off angrily, wrap Brad's bathrobe around me when I find it hanging on the back of the door, because I'm cold and it smells good, and storm downstairs to catch up to Brad. I'm ranting before I've even hit the last step, “That motherfucker! I could kill him! How dare he—”
My words cut off abruptly when I see Phil sat at the dining table doing a crossword puzzle, wide eyes staring at me.
“Oh, Phil! Shit. I'm so sorry, I completely forgot you were both here for a moment.
I'm...just...ugh!” I drop my face into my hands and mumble another apology.
When I hear his low laugh build to a hysterical crescendo, I slowly peek through my middle and ring fingers before finally dropping my hands altogether.
His raucous laughter is infectious, and soon I find my lips twitching along with him. Brad is leaning against the wall by the back door with his arms crossed, shaking his head with a smile.
Phil finally calms down enough to attempt a serious face and asks, “Now. Who are we killing and why? Do you need any help? I'm bloody good at digging holes.”
“Don't you worry, Dad. Jaime has it covered.”
I roll my eyes, but wince when I realise I have to tell the girls everything that happened. I probably have missed calls from Jaime already after the voicemail I left. Where is my phone now?
“Shari? Do you want to take this one? I'm not sure anything I say will be favourable,” Brad grits out.
“Trust me, it won't be favourable from me either,” I grumble. Grace appears at that moment with a surprised expression when she's sees me standing there in Brad's robe.
Lizzie is perched on her hip looking all sleep rumpled, hair shooting off adorably in every direction, but her face lights up when she sees me. “Mama! You come! Lizzie cuddle.” I could just eat this girl up! I rush over and take her from Grace to bury my face into her soft, little neck.
“I missed you Lizzie Loo! Did you have a good night with Nanny and Grandad?”
She starts babbling about her night animatedly and I breathe her in.
Happy to have her safe in my arms. I don't know what I would have done if she'd been in the house when that diseased fuckwad tried to break in!
Brad is behind me in seconds, wrapping us both up in his arms as if he's just had the same thought.
When Lizzie starts squirming and demanding, “Mama, down! Pikkuh!” I place her on the floor so she can run over to the back door and help her Grandad let Pickles back in. Looking up, I see that Grace seems to still be standing in the same spot, looking shell-shocked.
We sit Brad's parents down, and between us tell them everything that happened last night. By the time we're done, I'm exhausted, knowing I have to go through it all again with the girls. Possibly more than once, since I don't think Max is back from Paris until tomorrow.
“And the two of you…” Grace trails off, pointing between Brad and I. I don't know what to say because we haven't had the chance to talk about it at all. But I slept in his bed, in his arms, all night. And I have the distinct feeling he said something about me never going back to my house.
“A private discussion for later,” Brad replies quietly, pulling me into his side.
Grace holds her hands up in a universal white flag and heads to the kitchen to start breakfast. But I swear I see a little smirk on her lips as she does.
“Where's my phone, do you know? I have a feeling there's going to be a barrage of missed calls and texts,” I look back towards the stairs.
“Shit, I think your bag is still in my car. I forgot to grab it when I carried you in last night. Two secs, I'll go get it,” he says, pulling his shoes on.
“No, I can get it. You stay and have a coffee, keep warm. You've done enough already.”
Turning, he places his hands on my shoulders, one of his thumbs rubbing my collarbone gently. “Blaze. You have a coffee and keep warm. I'll be right back.” With a quick kiss to my forehead, he slips out the door, leaving a pleasurable buzz where his lips had just been.
“He fucking what?!” Jaime is half-standing, hovering over her seat in outrage.
As soon as I'd plugged my phone in to charge, I saw there were indeed three missed calls and multiple messages.
I phoned her back straightaway so she wouldn't send out a search party, and she insisted on coming over, apologising that she’d left her phone on DND last night in case Isaiah tried to call.
Barely an hour later, there was an entire army on Brad's doorstep. Jaime had picked up Elle and her kids en route, too.
Brad and his parents decided to take all the children to the playground to give us time to talk – may all the deities and the universe bless their souls.
Since Max would never forgive us for leaving her out of this conversation, she's on video call on Brad's iPad, propped up at the end of the table.
“I’m so sorry I switched my phone off last night, babe. I'll never ever do that again, I hate that you couldn't reach me when you needed us most!” Elle squeezes my hand.
“No! Please don't apologise. I know full well why you turn your phone off at times, and your reason is even more of a prick than mine! Wait...does that sentence even make sense? I'm calling Ivan a gargantuan, scrotum-faced, wank stain in case it wasn't clear.”
Jaime holds her hand up for a high five as Max bursts a laugh through the tablet. Shaking her head with a smile, Elle deadpans, “Yes, I managed to decipher that one. Maybe not verbatim, but I got the gist.”
Tapping the screen, Max shouts, “Guys, I've only got so long before we need to head out! Let's get back on track and we can bash Ivan another day. It's Jake's turn today!”
“Sorry, yes. Where did I get to?”
“Jake broke up with you and left you so he could go fuck other people, then came back out when you were waiting for Brad and offered you a quickie. Fuck's sake, that makes me even angrier when it's summarised!”
“Right, yeah. So Brad turns up as Jake's all up in my face and they have a showdown.
The bouncer drags Jake away – and side note, but I really want to bake that dude a thank you cake, he was the best – and Brad and I are hugging because I can't stop crying.
And then we almost kissed, but Larissa was right there!
God, I felt awful. I had no idea she'd come with him, but even so, I'd never want to betray her like that, and I know Brad wouldn't have wanted to either!” My head hits the back of the chair as I slump down.
“Shit, that's not good.”
“Oh, babe.”
“So what happened?”
“We got in the car and they drove me home. They insisted I shouldn't be alone, but I really just needed space. From them as a couple, from what I almost did, from all my thoughts of Jake. So I convinced them to leave with a promise to come over in the morning for breakfast with Lizzie.”
“I can understand you wanting space, babe. That's a lot to go through. And I think we all had our reservations about Jake but I never…I never would have expected that!” Elle says, staring into space.
“Wait, wait, wait,” a tinny voice comes from the end of the table. “Aren't you at Brad's now?”
“Yes?” I answer.
“But you're wearing Brad's clothes, if I'm not mistaken.”
I look down at the t-shirt I'm practically swimming in, as do the two girls in the room with me. It's almost comical the way their faces move as if synchronised.
“Oh my god, how did I not pick up on that? Why are you wearing Brad's clothes if you only came over this morning?”
“Well, I ended up spending the night here?” Not sure why that came out as a question.
“Elaborate. Stop holding back, woman!”
I sigh, “After Brad and Larissa left, I locked up and headed up to scrub the night from my skin, but as soon as I got out of the shower, Pickles started going batshit.”
“I don't like where this is going,” Jaime frowns.
Wincing, I relay everything that happened.
“Fucking hell!” Elle’s reaction is validating because she almost never swears.
“But who phoned the police if your phone was dead?” Max asks.
“Turns out Mrs Finnegan across the road had called them before he even started kicking the door in because she spotted him skulking around and looking suspicious. I've never been more thankful for the curtain-twitching, nosey old bat!”
“Amen, sista,” Jaime nods.
“Anyways, the police showed up as he was trying to kick my door in again, so they arrested him pretty quickly. I was still in the midst of giving my statement when suddenly Brad appeared out of nowhere, completely freaking out!”
“How did he know, though?”
“He didn't! He said he dropped Larissa home, and they broke up and he came to get me.”
Elle and Max awww in unison as Jaime slaps the table shouting, “Yes, Brad! Fucking right and all!”
“So you're finally together? No more of this he's too young, he doesn't really want me bullshit?”
“I mean,” I look away guiltily, “I don't know. We haven't actually talked about it. He hasn't said it's what he wants, so maybe...maybe he's just being a good guy?”