Chapter 34 You Make Everything…Suck Less #2
Shari squeezes me even tighter at the question and I only just make out the broken, “Jake”.
I. Am. Murderous. “Where is he? What did he do?” I demand, glaring at the officer who tried to hold me back. He shakes his head, hands on his hips as his eyes flick to the back of the police car that's now pulling away.
“We were called out to a report of an intruder by a neighbour,” I finally notice Mrs Finnegan talking to a copper on her driveway opposite us.
“When we got here, the suspect was attempting to kick the door in and had already tried to smash a window.
He's being charged with attempted burglary and criminal damage.”
Shari dissolves into another fit of sobs, but I need to see her face. I move my hands to her upper arms and gently push her torso away, just far enough to look into her eyes. I can't see any injuries, but the thing that guts me is the pain in her glassy eyes. I shouldn't have left her alone.
Another officer appears in the porch behind Shari, and I realise she must have been giving her statement when I arrived. I usher Shari back inside and Pickles immediately rushes over to greet me, tail wagging. I crouch down to scratch the spot above his tail that he loves so much.
Shari sniffles, watching us with a watery smile. “Pickles was such a good, brave boy and tried to claw his way through the front door to protect me, didn't you, my little Pickled Gherkin?”
I lavish extra love on Pickles for being such an awesome protector, “You are such a good boy, buddy.
So brave. I'm going to buy you the biggest block of cheese you've ever seen!” I swear this dog understands English because his tail wags in double time and his tongue lolls out the side of his mouth.
Shari finishes giving her statement to the police, all the while holding my hand in a death grip, and it's all I can do not to explode with every word out of her mouth. I could kill that worthless fucker.
I turn and cup Shari's face, “Are you ok, Blaze? I know that's a stupid question but...are you? Do we need to go to the hospital?” My thumb rubs her cheek gently as I thread the fingers of my right hand in to her hair.
The bobby who's been taking her statement stands up.
“I think I've got everything I need. We'll be in touch when we have any news for you, Ms. Jones.” Turning to me, he quietly states, “I’d recommend getting some cameras installed for peace of mind, and just double check the door and window are secure when you lock up for the night.”
Like fuck will I be letting her stay in this hellscape. I'm taking her back to mine right now. I'll come back tomorrow with Trey and grab all her and Lizzie's things. They'll be moving in with me, but this is a discussion we can tackle once she's had some sleep.
By the time we get back to my little house, it's nearly two a.m. and Shari is so exhausted she drifted off in the car.
I carry her into the house with Pickles on my heels and tuck her into my bed, planning to give her some space tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to make her mine and we'll never sleep apart again. But as I go to move away, she grabs my hand.
“Stay with me? Please, I don't want to be alone with my thoughts, and you make everything...suck less.”
“High praise indeed,” I chuckle. I take off my jeans and slide into bed next to her, and she immediately curls herself around me.
Her tears soak my t-shirt as she whispers, “I don't want him to be the last person who touched my skin.”
My stomach drops even as my rage burns my veins. “Shari, love, I have to know. Did he touch you tonight? Earlier, at the club?”
She knows exactly what I mean, even if I can't bring myself to say the actual words, and she's shaking her head against my shoulder before I've even finished speaking.
“No, I promise. I wouldn't have kept that from you. I just hate that I didn't see who he really was and I…”
“What, love? You what?” I rub circles on her back and ground myself in her jasmine essence.
“I gave myself to him! I'm not that person, Brad. I don't just sleep with anyone, I have to build up that trust first.” She huffs a weird little laugh, “Present company excluded, of course.”
“Gee. Thanks. I'm so glad you didn't trust me when we slept together,” I deadpan, trying desperately to ignore the part about her giving herself to that giant ballbag.
“No,” she titters, “I trust you more than anyone!
Obviously, I just didn't know that would be the case when I slept with you on the first night.” She's silent for a moment, “I’m just pissed that I started to trust him. I allowed myself to believe that we might have a future. So I slept with him and it was shit!!” her voice getting louder with every word.
“Sorry. This is so awkward, I shouldn't be talking about this with you.”
She suddenly sits up like she was stung, “Oh my god, what about Larissa?
! Brad, this isn't good. I know if I were her I wouldn't be ok with you sharing a bed half naked with your…
me. I'll, I'll go sleep on the couch. Or in Lizzie's room, on the sofa bed. Oh shit, your parents are here!” she whisper shouts the last realisation and I can’t help but laugh.
“Brad!” she smacks my arm with the back of her hand, “It's not funny!”
“Your reaction is a little funny,” she moves as if to pinch my side, “Ok! Ok, I'll be serious. Larissa and I broke up tonight,” I admit softly. “Right before I came to your house. Did you not wonder why I was there?”
This gives her pause, “No, I...I didn't even question it.” Two little lines form between her brows as she mulls it over. “Wait, you broke up with Larissa and came straight to my house? Why?”
“I think deep down you know, but it can wait for tomorrow. The only important thing right now is that you know we're not doing wrong by Larissa.” My heart still aches for her, because she's a wonderful person. But she's not Shari.
Shari lies back down slowly, resting her head on my shoulder once more. “Is she ok? Larissa?” And this is one of the many reasons why I love her.
“Honestly? Not really, but she will be. She deserves the world, and I can't give that to her.” My hand gently combs through Shari's long hair as I speak, and the motion helps to soothe me. I know I'm not the one who needs soothing, but it does, nonetheless.
“Brad?” she asks in a small voice several minutes later.
“Yeah, Blaze?”
“Why can't you give the world to Larissa?”
I smile against her hair because she almost sounds hopeful. And that in itself gives me hope. “Because my world already belongs to someone else. Now sleep, love. We'll talk about it tomorrow.”
I stroke her back and just breathe her in.
She's here, she's safe and hopefully soon, she'll be mine.
Forever. Within minutes, I'm listening to the rhythmic breathing of her, thankfully, dreamless sleep.
But I can't switch my mind off. I lie there for hours, listening to her breathe, and watching the ceiling change slowly from darkest grey to a muted gold with the rising of the sun.
My mind swirls with what ifs. What if her neighbour hadn't phoned the police?
What if Larissa hadn't urged me to go to her?
What if Lizzie had been there? That one is the hardest, and I'm so grateful my parents had her here.
My whole world has flipped over in less than twelve hours, but selfishly, I'm trying to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I hate that I broke Larissa’s sweet heart.
I hate that Shari had to go through any of what she endured at Jake’s hands.
I hate that cunting prick, and every time I so much as think of him, I want to set the world on fire.
But Blaze is with me now, and I'm keeping her.