Chapter 18 – Beth
Dr. Markowski walks into Shane’s ICU room. She gives me a friendly nod. “Hello, Mrs. McIntyre.”
“Call me Beth, please.” I watch as she approaches Shane’s bed.
She uses her stethoscope to listen to his heart, lungs, and abdomen. Then she lifts the sheet to check his bandages.
“So far, things are looking good,” she says.
“His blood pressure is stable, and his oxygen levels are good. Although he has a slight fever, it’s not something I’m concerned about as he seems to be responding well to the antibiotic.
I ran a blood panel this morning, and his white blood cell count is in an acceptable range, so I don’t think there’s an infection. ”
“Does this mean he’s out of danger?” Please say yes.
“It means he’s stable, and I’m not seeing any red flags. Let’s see how he’s doing in the morning, and if there are no issues, I think we can bring him out of sedation.”
I’m so relieved to hear that, a sob escapes me.
“You can stop worrying about your husband,” Dr. Markowski says to me. “He appears to be out of the woods.”
* * *
For the rest of the afternoon and early evening, Shane’s family members come back, one or two at a time, to see him. Now that they know he’s in stable condition, they want to see him with their own eyes.
Everyone is rather stoic when they stand next to his bed, all except for Bridget. She bursts into tears at the sight of him lying there so still. Calum pulls her into his arms to comfort her.
After Shane’s parents visit, his brother Jamie stops by, guided here by his dad.
I’m surprised to see Jamie is wearing a pair of dark Aviator glasses to hide his prosthetic eyes.
Since Molly came into his life, he hardly wears them anymore, certainly not when he’s around family.
Maybe he feels less comfortable without the glasses in such a public, crowded place as a hospital.
“Can I touch him?” Jamie asks.
“Of course.” I take Jamie’s hand and guide it to Shane’s face. Naturally, Jamie would need tactile proof that his brother was alive since he can’t see Shane for himself.
Gently, Jamie traces Shane’s features, skimming his fingertips across Shane’s forehead, down his nose, and across his cheeks. When he places his palm on Shane’s chest, I realize he’s feeling Shane’s chest rise and fall with each breath.
Jamie’s voice shakes a bit when he says, “We’re all here for you, brother.” He swallows hard. “Just get well and come back to us.”
After squeezing Shane’s hand, Jamie steps away from the bed.
“He’s the glue, you know,” he says to me.
“He’s always been the leader, the one we kids would turn to if we needed help.
He’s always there for us. He’s the one our parents turn to when they need something.
I don’t know how we’d function without him. ”
My eyes tear up at his words, and I reach for Jamie’s hand. “I hope you never have to find out. I hope none of us do.”
* * *
Once everyone in the family has had a chance to see Shane, and finally breathe a sigh of relief, Cooper and I are once again alone in Shane’s room.
Dr. Markowski has come in a couple more times throughout the day and reassured us things are still on track.
If he’s still doing well by morning, they’re planning to bring him out of sedation.
Cooper has been bringing me meals from the hospital cafeteria so I don’t have to leave Shane’s side.
He hovers over me like a mother hen, making sure I’m hydrated and well fed.
The morning sickness comes and goes at odd times, so I never know when it’s going to hit me.
I’ve had to run to the bathroom on more than one occasion.
Sophie calls me in the evening after she puts Luke and Ava in bed. “Your mom is coming over in a little bit to spend the night with the kids,” she says. “And, of course, Sam is here. It’s a good thing because Luke is clinging to him. He really misses you, Beth. And he keeps asking for Shane.”
“Thank you, Sophie. I really appreciate you taking care of my kids today. Shane’s doctor is planning to bring him out of sedation in the morning, if all still seems well. Maybe once Shane is awake, I can bring Luke here to see him.”
As night falls on the second day of our vigil, I slip into the bathroom to get myself ready for sleep. When I come out, Cooper already has my recliner transformed into a bed. “Thanks, Cooper.”
He brushes off my gratitude. “No need to thank me, sugar.”
Before I lie down for the night, I lean over Shane’s bed and gently stroke his forehead. “I’m here, Shane. I’m right here.” My throat tightens as I lean down to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
* * *
That night, I dream that Shane and I are at the Lincoln Park Zoo with our kids.
Luke is riding on Shane’s shoulders—only this Luke is probably a couple of years older.
And I’m pushing a double stroller. Ava is sound asleep in the stroller—only this Ava is also a bit older.
She looks to be around four. The second seat in the stroller is empty.
It’s a beautiful day, and the weather is perfect for a family outing. Luke is chatting away, pointing out the animals we pass.
I look ahead of us and notice a brown-haired toddler rushing away from us. He can’t be much more than two years old.
“That’s far enough, Wyatt,” Shane says with a gentle warning.
Wyatt?
The little boy stops in his tracks and turns back to us, flashing a big grin. His bright blue eyes glitter with excitement. He runs back toward us, heading right for Shane. When he reaches Shane, he raises his arms up, asking to be picked up.
Laughing, Shane sets Luke on his feet and picks up the little boy and settles him on his hip. When I see the two of them, side by side, my breath catches.
The same hair. The same bright blue eyes. Their faces have the same shape.
Shane kisses the top of the little boy’s head.
It’s a boy.
I’m going to have a boy.
Luke walks ahead of us, excitedly pointing to a large outdoor exhibit. “Look, Mama, elephants!”
The child in Shane’s arms wriggles until Shane sets him on the ground. Then the little boy races up to Luke and reaches for Luke’s hand. The two boys walk on together, holding hands.
Shane lays his arm across my shoulders. “Luke and Wyatt remind me of myself and Jamie at that age.”
Wyatt.
A boy.
We’re having a boy.
I wake with a start in a dark room, and it takes me a moment to orient myself. The only sounds I hear are the familiar noises of the machines keeping track of Shane’s vitals. I can tell it’s still early yet. The sun hasn’t risen.
I lay my hand on my belly and remind myself it was just a dream, and I shouldn’t read anything into it.
“You all right, sugar?” Cooper asks me, his voice low and rough from sleep. He’s stretched out on the sofa across the room.
“Yes. I had a dream, and it woke me up.”
“I hope it was a good dream.”
“The very best.” I smile at the lingering memory of that little boy with brown hair and bright blue eyes. “I dreamt Shane and I are having a boy.”
Cooper chuckles. “Aiden will be glad to hear that.”
I smile, thinking about how my nephew Aiden keeps track of how many boys and girls have been born into the family. The girls are currently leading—five to three—and he’s hoping for more boy babies to even the count. If Annie and I both have boys, then the genders will be tied.
I lay my hand on my belly and envision a little version of Shane. With a smile on my face, I manage to fall back to sleep for a few more hours.
I wake again when a nurse comes in to check on Shane. It’s morning now, and sunlight is filtering through the curtains. I sit up groggily as the nurse checks his vitals.
Suddenly, a wave of nausea sweeps through me, and I have to make a mad dash to the bathroom.
Oh, the joys of being pregnant.
When I return from the bathroom, the nurse is gone.
“I’m going down to the cafeteria to get you some breakfast,” Cooper says.
While he’s gone, I wash up in the bathroom and change clothes. Not long after, Cooper is back with a to-go box containing pancakes, a packet of maple syrup, a small carton of milk, and a bottle of water.
I stare at the food. “Cooper, I’m sorry, but my stomach just isn’t cooperating right now. Maybe later, okay?”
He digs a packet of saltine crackers out of his jacket pocket. “I bought these just in case.”
Smiling, I take the crackers from him. “These I might be able to manage. Thank you.”
Shortly after I successfully get one packet of crackers down, along with some water, Dr. Markowski comes into Shane’s room.
“It’s time,” she says. “His vitals are good. I think we can take him off the sedative.”
A nurse comes into the room to assist while Dr. Markowski turns off the infusion of the IV sedative.
“Now what?” I ask.
“We let him wake up slowly, on his own,” the doctor says. “He might be a bit disoriented when he wakes up. He might not know where he is or how he got here. He might not even remember getting injured.” She gives me an encouraging smile. “Just be patient with him and take things slowly.”
“How long will it take before he’s awake?”
“It depends on a few factors, but he should start stirring in an hour or two. He’ll be drowsy for quite a while, and it’ll probably take him a good twenty-four hours to return to normal. Let him set the pace.”
Clutching Shane’s hand in mine, I sit beside the bed and watch him closely for any sign he’s coming around. “I’m here, Shane. Come back to me, please.”
* * *
About an hour later, Shane’s eyelids flutter a few times before they open fully.
“Sweetheart!” Still holding his hand, I rise so I’m in his field of vision and he can see me more easily. “How do you feel?”
He flutters his eyelids a few more times before he turns his head toward me. “Beth?” he says, his voice rough.
“Hi, honey.” I lean forward and press a light kiss to his lips. “Cooper’s here, too.”
Cooper moves to stand at the foot of the bed. “Hey, buddy. Welcome back.”
Shane glances around the room, his gaze darting from Cooper to me. “Where am I? What happened?”